by Jim Colucci
Although Hallmark overall “does speak to a slightly older audience,” Darren notes, “[The Golden Girls] drops our median age ten years from the rest of our schedule.” And the lower age number doesn’t just mean that more slightly younger people are watching, the programmer explains. Mathematically, “the only way you can get a median age down into the high forties or low fifties is to have college-age people or younger watching the show.”
Hallmark might seem like an unusual choice for these youngest viewers—and an even more unusual home for a series where Blanche is wont to boast about her bedroom gyrations. And as Darren does admit, the network had to make some concessions: “‘Slut’ for Hallmark is usually a dirty word, but we let The Golden Girls get away with it.” Thematically, though, The Golden Girls fits perfectly at Hallmark, he avows, because “the show is ‘safe,’ and what I mean by that is you know it’s going to work out. Whatever conflicts they have, you know they’re going to figure it out, and together they’re going to make it.”
Actually, there is only one thing about The Golden Girls that Hallmark does have to change, slightly: each episode’s running time, from the original nearly twenty-four minutes down to cable’s typical twenty-two. But luckily, Darren says, technology has progressed to the point where “time tailoring”—i.e., subtly speeding up some scenes—allows a network nowadays to keep as much content as possible and still air a shorter show. “Of course, that’s just to a point,” he warns. “A good, long stare from Bea Arthur is important. You don’t want to speed that up.”
In 2013, The Golden Girls started airing on two different Viacom-owned networks as well—TV Land and Logo. “There are some acquisitions that are no-brainers, and this was one of them,” remembers TV Land’s SVP of Programming and Acquisitions, Jaclyn Cohen. “The Golden Girls felt like it was going to be something that made everybody happy—those who came to us for nostalgia, and those who came for originals like Hot in Cleveland.
“The Golden Girls is an evergreen, and doesn’t require a lot of work on our end to launch it,” Jaclyn explains. “It doesn’t require a lot of explaining, so we can save the explaining for our original programming.” In fact, the network is able to use The Golden Girls as its secret weapon, whipping up its loyal female audience to deliver to one of those original sitcoms. And the Girls have indeed delivered, with twenty-one million viewers watching on TV Land each month. And just as on Hallmark, Jaclyn adds, the show does particularly well on her network when it’s placed in a “stack.” On Sunday nights, TV Land airs a block of The Golden Girls “through the prime time hours, and the show builds and builds,” she says. “We like to call it our Potato Chip Strategy. You’re sitting down and enjoying the show, and the next thing you know, you’re on your third episode and you’re not going anywhere.”
TV Land’s sister station, Logo, celebrated the second quarter of 2015 as its highest-rated ever, thanks partly to The Golden Girls, one of its top-rated acquisitions. The show is one of the reliable “tentpoles” propping up Logo’s schedule, a perfect match because, with the network’s LGBT target audience, “We can embrace the irreverent humor, and our brand really speaks to some of the same tenets,” says Pam Post, SVP of Original Programming and Series Development. “We like to be inclusive and progressive, and The Golden Girls really represents that.”
Much as NBC originally found success by grouping The Golden Girls with its Saturday night neighbors for a hurricane- or moonlight madness–themed stunt, Pam notes that Logo has also fared well by scheduling the show with a creative flair. For Valentine’s Day 2015, as cinema audiences awaited the movie adaptation of the novel Fifty Shades of Grey, Logo presented its own marathon: “Four Shades of Grey.” On Grammy weekend, Logo once counterprogrammed with the “Grannies.” For the holidays—when Hallmark sends the Girls off packing presumably to St. Olaf—Logo has celebrated “A Betty White Christmas.” And in September 2015, to celebrate the thirtieth anniversary of The Golden Girls’ NBC debut, Logo cast RuPaul’s Drag Race queens Delta Work, Willam, Pandora Boxx, and Shangela as Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia to host a thirty-episode marathon titled “30 Isn’t a Drag.”
However the episodes are stacked or sorted, TV Land’s Jaclyn Cohen enthuses, The Golden Girls will continue to score new fans simply because “it’s laugh-out-loud funny every time. The show was always a good experience for everybody.” Whereas a smarty-pants show like Frasier might not be fun to cuddle up with before bedtime, “The Golden Girls has smart writing that’s not too heady. You get the escape that you want. And you don’t have to take notes.”
By analyzing The Golden Girls’ previous ratings results on Lifetime, Jaclyn adds, her team already knew just how popular the show was with varying ages of women. “There was a lot of discussion around college women finding the show and loving it,” she remembers.
In fact, The Golden Girls has become one of the rare shows to develop this whole new generation of devotees—a critical achievement, because nostalgia can only carry a show so far. After all, older fans eventually die off or just move on to something else. This is the reason, TV historian Tim Brooks says, why today we don’t see too many repeats—aside from I Love Lucy—of anything from the 1950s. Ultimately, Tim explains, the shows that stick around are the ones, from any era, that continue to touch and tickle new people—and that’s why he predicts that The Golden Girls will still be golden twenty years from now, just like Lucy. “Shows that remain very popular are not specific to their times. They’re just well written, about funny people. These are happy comedies for the middle of the night when you want to go to bed with your head clear. Like The Golden Girls, they’re easy-to-watch television.”
THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND
My husband, Frank DeCaro, without whose continued love and support this book would not be possible.
Susan Harris, Paul Junger Witt, and Tony Thomas, for creating a show that has inspired lives, never mind this book.
Some true Disney heroes, including Robert Iger, Zenia Mucha, Kevin Brockman, Ann Limongello, Liana C. Yamasaki, Dan Kilgore, and Margaret Adamic.
Rebecca Hunt and the amazing team at Harper Design.
Foundry Communications and specifically Brandi Bowles and Richie Kern, who are not just visionary agents but fellow fans.
Friends at CBS, particularly Jeremy Murphy and Chris Ender, for their invaluable help behind the scenes.
Wayne Williams, Kari Hendler, Robert Spina, Lex Passaris, Tara Stephenson-Fong, David Lombard and the CBS Photo Archives, Michael Hynes, Judy Evans-Steele and Jeff Blanchard, Michael J. LaRue and the Estate of Rue McClanahan, Rosemarie Knopka and the Art Directors Guild, and everyone else who dug deep into his or her own archives to produce photo and illustration treasures.
The artists who graciously provided their original works: Jesse Beamesderfer, Barry Belcher, Sam Carter, Lenora Claire, Mike Denison, Ken Fallin, Mike Giblin, Glen Hanson, Sarah Hedlund, Erin Hunting, Ricky Kwong, Andre Mello, Jason O’Malley, Trevor Wayne, Richard Weinstein, and Jim Winters.
MY INTERVIEWEES: Kevin Abbott, Rhonda Aldrich, Garth Ancier, Bea Arthur, Barbara Babcock, Doug Ballard, Bonnie Bartlett, Jackie Beat, Susan Beavers, Doris Belack, James Berg, Ken Berry, Valerie Bertinelli, Peter D. Beyt, Raye Birk, Barry Bostwick, John Bowab, Randy Brenner, Tim Brooks, Robert Bruce, Zane Buzby, Ron Carlivati, Paul Chapdelaine, Don Cheadle, Marc Cherry, Margaret Cho, Eric Cohen, Jaclyn Cohen, R. J. Colleary, Anderson Cooper, Rick Copp, Sondra Currie, Bill Dana, Henry Darrow, Michael Denison, Jo DeWinter, Matthew Diamond, Dena Dietrich, Flo DiRe, Elinor Donahue, Ellen Albertini Dow, Jim Drake, Drew Droege, Ja’Net DuBois, Helen Duffy, Lena Dunham, Jeffrey Duteil, Rachel Ehrenberg, Debra Engle, Michael Ensign, Barry Fanaro, Cindy Fee, Jeffrey Ferro, Harvey Fierstein, Lucy Lee Flippin, Deena Freeman, Tracy Gamble, Lee Garlington, Betty Garrett, Carl Gettleman, Billy Goldenberg, Pamela Golum, Neil Gooding, David A. Goodman, Harold Gould, Beth Grant, Juliet Green, Lyn Greene, Max Greenfield, Simone Griffeth, Terry Grossman, Molly Hagan, Jerry Hardin, Amy B. H
arris, Susan Harris, Sam Hatmaker, Dave Heckman, Tippi Hedren, Heklina, Sandy and Harriet Helberg, Richard Herd, Winifred Hervey, John Hoffman, Ken Howard, Terry Hughes, Mitchell Hurwitz, Michael Hynes, Allison Jones, Jeffrey Jones, Stephen Jones, Leslie Jordan, Bruce Eric Kaplan, Leila Kenzle, Ken Kercheval, Monte Landis, Michael Lannan, Philip Jayson Lasker, Jane Leeves, Nancy Lenehan, Charles Levin, Hal Linden, Warren Littlefield, Christopher Lloyd, Mario Lopez, Jessica Lundy, John and Peter Mac, Wendie Malick, Robert Mandan, Dinah Manoff, Russell Marcus, Cheech Marin, Monte Markham, Suzanne Martin, Michael Matthews, Rue McClanahan, Edie McClurg, Jonny McGovern, Sam McMurray, Darren Melameth,Ellen Meyer, Rita Moreno, Mort Nathan, Lois Nettleton, David Nichols, Michael Orland, Sam Pancake, Gail Parent, Lex Passaris, Marco Pennette, Lisa Jane Persky, Miss Coco Peru, Jerry Perzigian, Judy Pioli Askins, Patrik-Ian Polk, Julie Poll, Peggy Pope, Pam Post, Lonny Price, Paul Provenza, Doug Quint, Alan Rachins, Joe Regalbuto, Debbie Reynolds, Doris Roberts, Bob Rosenfarb, Casey Sander, Jay Sandrich, Shawn Schepps, Jonathan Schmock, John Schuck, Josh Schwartz, Don Seigel, John Shaffner, Patt Shea, Michael Shepperd, Trenton Shine, Marc Sotkin, Kathy Speer, Robert Spina, Judy Evans Steele, Maurice Stein, David Steinberg, Tara Stephenson, Lynne Marie Stewart, Ken Stovitz, Elaine Stritch, Billy L. Sullivan, Jackie Swanson, Inga Swenson, Jeffrey Tambor, Quentin Tarantino, Jay Thomas, Tony Thomas, Tim Thomerson, Joel Thurm, Doug Tobin, Hallie Todd, Alex Trebek, Nick Ullett, Brenda Vaccaro, Richard Vaczy, Jim Vallely, Chick Vennera, Sherry Vine, Lyle Waggoner, Nina Wass, Tom Watson, Richard Weaver, Joss Whedon, Tom Whedon, Betty White, Fred Willard, Marsha Posner Williams, Paul Willson, Paul Junger Witt, Lenny Wolpe, Don Woodard, Jamie Wooten, George Wyner, Kent Zbornak, and Stan Zimmerman
MY SURVEY RESPONDENTS: Jonathan Adler, ANT, John Bartlett, Murray Bartlett, Lance Bass, Bryan Batt, Douglas Carter Beane, Amanda Bearse, Jackie Beat, Willam Belli, Tom Bianchi, Keith Boykin, Dan Bucatinsky, Ann Hampton Callaway, Ted Casablanca, Candis Cayne, Kevin Chamberlin, Craig Chester, Jaffe Cohen, Chris Colfer, Jason Collins, Laverne Cox, Bruce Daniels, Frank DeCaro, Jonathan Del Arco, Ben DeLaCreme, Drew Droege, Harvey Fierstein, Josh Flagg, Maile Flanagan, Malcolm Gets, Ari Gold, Judy Gold, Nathan Lee Graham, Zulema Griffin, Jonathan Groff, Stephen Guarino, Sam Harris, Derek Hartley, Dennis Hensley, Jeff Hiller, Perez Hilton, Janis Ian, Cheyenne Jackson, Geri Jewell, Ben Patrick Johnson, Dot-Marie Jones, Randy Jones, Ellie Kemper, Rex Lee, Greg Louganis, Mark Lund, Alec Mapa, Billy Masters, Heather Matarazzo, Dan Mathews, Ross Mathews, Brini Maxwell, Jonny McGovern, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Varla Jean Merman, Tammy Lynn Michaels, Eric Millegan, Jackie Monahan, Michael Musto, Scott Nevins, Peter Paige, Jim Parsons, Miss Coco Peru, Zachary Quinto, Andrew Rannells, Mo Rocca, Jai Rodriguez, Felipe Rose, Dave Rubin, Tony Sepulveda, Michael Serrato, Jake Shears, Del Shores, Bob Smith, Doug Spearman, Nicole Sullivan, Jermaine Taylor, Jonathan Tolins, Tony Tripoli, Michael Urie, Kirsten Vangsness, Jane Velez-Mitchell, Robert Verdi, Bruce Vilanch, Sherry Vine, Max von Essen, Stephen Wallem, Suzanne Westenhoefer, Paul J. Williams, Jeff Zarrillo, and Cyd Zeigler.
AND SPECIAL THANKS TO: Kim Abend; Alyssa Adams, Jean Curnyn and Angel Gonzalez at TV Guide magazine; Raji Ahsan; Angela Allen; Harry Althaus; Pat Altomare; Emily Anton; David Axlerod; Fran Bascom; Ellen Benjamin; Erica Berger; Greg Berlanti; Justin Berns; Doria Biddle; Kevin Biegel; Tammara Billik; Steve Bluestein; Liane Bonin Starr; Adam Bonnett; Judy Bradley; Howard Bragman; Robyn Burt; Julie Bush; Max Calne; Kassie Canter; Maj Canton; Frank Carabineris; Curtis Chin and Jeff Kim; Pamela Gee Chowayou; Heidi Clements; Angelo, Mary Kate, Tom, Joe, Alison, Madelyn, Kate, and Alyssa Colucci; Marty Colucci and John Volland; Tom Craig; Allen Crowe; Janet Daily; Janine Damura; Beverly D’Angelo; Patti D’Arbanville; Bill and Evelyn Shular Dana; Bonnie Datt and Chris Lowe; Frank Sr. and Marian DeCaro; Jack Degerlia; Louisa Dette; Wendy Diamond; Mike DiGaetano; Lisa Donahey and Dexter Warren; Lois Draegin; Chip Duckett; Catherine Dunn; Scott Edwards; Rachel Ehrenberg; Donna Ellerbusch; Jeanette Eliot; Anne Kissel Elliot; Kiel Elliott; Ramin Fathie; Marianne Fleschman; Fredrick Ford; Dan Fortune; Rusty Frank; Marlene Fuentes; Bill Funt; Dwight Garcia; Yfat Reiss Gendel; Eliot Glazer; John Glines; Steve Gonzalez; Jennifer Good; Gerry Goodstein; Dave Gorab; Robert Graves; Annabelle Gurwitch; Barbara Haigh; Geoff Hansen; John Harper; Steve Hasley; Chris Haston; Sean Hayes; Karen and Eric Herman; Joel Hornstock; Todd Jackson and Danielle Perez; Tom Jacobson and Ramone Muñoz; Bonnie Johanson; Jocelyn Jones; Larry Jones; Hollis Jordan; Marion and August Kammer; Phyllis Katz; Serena Kodila; Jay Kogen; Jenni Konner; Sean Lambert; Lisa Lampanelli; Jennifer Lang; Karen, Rick, Jake, and Elyssa Langberg; Suze Lanier-Bramlett; Robert Laurita and Don Carroll; Barbara Lawrence; Steve LeGrice; Samara Lenga; Michael Levitt and Marc Loren; David Logan; Jim Marden; Pat McDonough; Cathryn Michon; Todd Milliner; Sara Moskowitz; April Neale; Allan Neuwirth; Sharon Packer; Dan Pasternack; Romaine Patterson; Melissa Peterman; Joseph Pittman; Keith Price; Rosalina Primiano; Erin Quill; Larry Raab; Tanya Ropella; Don Robert; Andria and Daniel Roling; Todd Rosentover and Alycia Weinberger; Barbara Roy; Mark Rupp; Greg and Dawn Sahakian; Richard Samson; Christine Sanchez-Bixler; Rachel Sandler; Rich Sands; Frank Santopadre; Andi Schechter; H. Alan Scott and Kerri Doherty; Lauren Shaham; James Sie and Douglas Wood; Mike and Suzanne Sievert; Michelangelo Signorile; Pam Slay and the Hallmark Channel; Jordan and Melissa Sonnenblick; Tracy Speed; Caissie St. Onge; Sally Starin and June Ploch; Michael Stern; Tristan Svare; Kent Taylor; Rouhi Taylor; Joseph Titizian; Eric van der Werff; Michael von Redlich; Marcia Wallace; Gene Walsh; A. Chandler Warren; Tom Watson; Ken Werther; Morrow Wilson; Lizz Winstead; Steven Wishnoff; Marc Wolf; Don Woodard; World of Wonder; Eric and Elaine Yu; the crew of the Frank DeCaro Show on Sirius XM Radio OutQ; the Knops, Skaggs, Harbaugh, Bylsma, Simonetty, Colucci, Vanas, Dige, Thomas, Decman, Dattilo, and Mastrangelo families.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JIM COLUCCI IS a freelance entertainment writer whose work has appeared in such publications as TV Guide, Inside TV, Quick and Simple, The Advocate, Next, and CBS’s Watch! magazine, where he serves as a deputy editor. Jim also delivers a weekly on-air report, Must Hear TV, as a correspondent for The Frank DeCaro Show on SiriusXM satellite radio. In 2004 he wrote the authorized companion book Will & Grace: Fabulously Uncensored.
Originally from Wayne, New Jersey, Jim now lives in Los Angeles with his husband, Frank DeCaro, and their mischievous Boston terrier, Gabby.
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COPYRIGHT
GOLDEN GIRLS FOREVER. Copyright © 2016 by Jim Colucci. Illustrations in Chapter 4 of Rose Nylund, Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux, Dorothy Zbornak, and Sophia Petrillo copyright © 2016 by Headcase Design. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
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ISBN 978-0-06-242290-3
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1 It’s unclear whether we should credit the 1979–88 NBC sitcom The Facts of Life as a pre–Golden Girls inventor of the Rule of Four. Set at the fictional Eastland Academy in Peekskill, New York, the show originally centered on a larger group of young girls, and did not pare its cast down to just four—plus older house mother Mrs. Garrett (Charlotte Rae)—until its second season, beginning in 1980.