by Ruby Reade
Almost Official
Can a message end it all?
Ruby Reade
First published through Amazon in 2019.
Copyright 2019 Ruby Reade
The moral right of Ruby Reade to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage and retrieval system.
PB ISBN9781081845414
EBOOK ASINB07VD1YV48
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organisations, places and events are either a product of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Dedication.
To my NooNoo and Nanny Pattle.
Miss you both always and love you forever.
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank all my amazing family and friends for their support throughout the process of writing my first book.
Thank you to my three beautiful girls, and my gorgeous man for putting up with all the hours I have been glued to the computer and been unsociable when I was nearing the end of completing it.
Thank you to Mum and Dad for a wonderful childhood filled with books, and plays, I had such a great time and both of you helped to create my love of books and reading. Thank you to my sister Sarah for all the typing up and the many, many questions I asked. You are a trooper and my number one fan. Thank you to my sister Kay for being my very own Bridget full of amazing stories that can only happen to you and always being up for a chat about anything at any time. Thank you to my brother Gary for always helping with the kids even when you are going through a tough time. To Jan and Del a massive thank you for everything you have done. Dear Granddad, thank you for always chatting to me about books and all our chats about life. Thank you to my sister Jodie for the support and reading the book for me.
Thank you to so many others including my stepdad Gary, Karen, Kara, Gill and Tracey for your support.
Thank you to Melissa, my old friend, for so many amazing nights out in our younger days, and all the memories that helped me now that I have three children and struggle to leave the house without changing bags and comfy clothes.
Thank you to all the Infinity Twirlers Majorette mum's for their support.
Above all, thank you to my two beautiful Nan's sitting watching me from heaven, for helping to shape me into the woman I have become, I miss you both always.
Chapter 1
Lucy
'Hey Amy just finished work pick you up soon can't wait to see your beautiful big green eyes again Kev xxxxxxx'
This is a perfect message.
The only teeny, tiny, little, problem, is the fact that I have big brown eyes. Oh, and my name is Lucy.
My phone beeps again. Almost before I can register his mistake.
'Sorry Luce that was an old text I was deleting sorry baby cakes xxx'
A mistake? I read the text again. Clearly, he takes me for a complete and utter moron. Old message? My arse it's an old message.
'Luce please text me back it was a mistake r u ok?? Xxx.'
Of course, it was a mistake you imbecile. And no, I am not okay. Far from it.
How is it even possible to text the wrong person? Even more unbelievable, how do you send a message you're deleting to someone else? I'm not sure if he thinks I am that thick, or if it's him who is minus a brain.
I wish I could strangle him. The cheating prick. I could strangle this Amy girl whoever she is as well. Man stealing hussy.
My phone rings but I can't bring myself to answer. I sit on my bed staring at it. I wonder when or if I'll cry. Kevin's name flashes up on the screen taunting me to the theme tune of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
Well in this case, boys do as well. The phone carries on ringing in my hand but all I can do is stare at it, unable to answer. My mind feels like it has just been dumped on a roller coaster ride, yet oddly enough, my body feels numb.
Another thought crashes through my mind sending the roller coaster into another flip, dip and twirl. What if there are others? Maybe this Amy isn't the only one? Should I try and speak to him like a mature adult about this, or, do I completely ignore him, and write the last two years off as nothing.
Beep. Beep.
'Please talk to me angel we need to sort this out xxx I love you xx'
Love? The only concept he has of love is how to use it best to his advantage. Love. Don't make me bloody laugh.
I want to throw my phone at the wall as hard as I can and shatter it into a million pieces. If only it was insured, or I could afford another one. Instead, I make do with shaking it in the air and clenching my fists tight, before dropping it into a handy pile of clothes next to my bed.
Flopping back onto my bed I stare up at the ceiling. I still can't get over the fact he told me he had been called out on a job, when really, he was desperate to rush off to another date. I guess that's men for you though. Always looking for the next best thing.
My phone rings setting my nerves on edge again. Sitting up, I can see it flashing at me. I'm not shocked when I see Kevin is calling again.
'What?'
'Lucy? You answered.'
'This is my phone Kev. Who else did you expect to be on the other end? Amy?' I'm sure he can put up with a bit of sarcasm after what he has done.
'Look this thing between me and her isn't serious Luce. I swear to you. We haven't even had sex.' Oh, and that makes it okay does it? I pull the phone away and just look at it in disbelief. As if he just said that to me. I was right. Men, especially this one, are pigs.
Cheating ones at that.
'Hey, that line might work on your other women mate, but don't insult me by using it on me. I can't stand liars Kevin, so if you haven't got something important to say then don't bother at all.' Why are all men the same?
'The thing is, I never know where I stand with you Lucy, we've been drifting along for a while now and then Amy came along.'
'Oh yeah, I bet she did.' I roll my eyes. Is he for real?
'Look I'm not trying to place the blame here honey, but the problem I have now, is that I like both of you.' Total silence follows, getting louder and harder to fill by the second. He is obviously waiting for a response, but my mind has gone blank.
'Lucy? Are you still there?'
'Yeah.' Just about.
'I think I need some time to sort my head out.'
'See a bloody shrink then because I am not your mum, and I refuse to speak to you about another girl. You have made me feel like a complete idiot and as if I am second best. The thing that gets to me the most is you knew you were stringing us both along. Don't try to make yourself sound any better now.'
'... But Luce...'
'I haven't finished yet.'
'I never meant to hurt you babes. You are so special to me.'
'Special? Kevin Taylor you have got to be having some sort of laugh. You don't treat people you claim to care about like this.'
'Look I am still outside. Please come down and we can talk about it properly.' Tantalising images of me running downstairs and strangling him play over in my mind. I shake my head to clear them. I don't fancy being done for murder.
'Erm, how about no.' I reply. It's best for his own safety.
'Stop being so un-fucking-reasonable.' I pull the phone away to prevent myself from being deafened.
'Ooooh such charm. Now I can see why all the girls fall at your feet.' He sighs down the phone at me like this is my fault. I kneel up on my bed to watch him from behind my curtains. He r
olls down a window and lights a cigarette. He was supposed to have given up. Maybe the stress of dating two women is too much to cope with and forced him to start again. I sigh back at him, closing my eyes.
'There is nothing to sort out Kev. I caught you. That's all there is to it.'
'I know about Matt.' Bugger. My eyes are open now. How the hell did he find out about that? I bite my lip and put the curtain back, shutting the world out. I look around my room as if a handy excuse will pop up from somewhere and save me.
'What?' I ask, trying to deflect him and buy some time.
'I said, I know all about your affair with Matt.' Well, I'd hardly call a one-night stand an affair.
'How do you think I feel when I walk into the gym and everyone is talking about it and can't look me in the eye? Come on, Luce put yourself in my position for a minute?' At least it makes more sense.
'I guess Amy was there to soothe your dented pride then was she? Is that what you are saying?' I close my eyes and feel the tears collecting behind my lids. They slowly squeeze past my lashes and trail down my face. 'You could have told me you knew about it.'
'You could have told me you did it. Look, why don't you come down and we can talk about it.' He asks again, his voice softening the way it always does when he is trying to win me over. I blink away the tears.
'I really can't be dealing with this now. It would be better if we just talk about it tomorrow.' At least then I have time to work out what I can say to him about Matt and get my story straight.
'Bloody hell Lucy. It's always tomorrow or later, or let's just forget it with you. I'm not waiting around anymore for you to decide who and what you really want. That's why I asked Amy out.'
'Hey, I never said I was perfect or wanted some kind of commitment from you Kev, if you need reminding?' What an insensitive jerk. He was the one who wanted an unofficial relationship in the first place.
'No Lucy, you didn't. Can't you see that's what the problem is? I don't want to have to hear from my mates about you and other men, and having people pointing at me thinking oh there goes that guy who Lucy is cheating on.' It must be a male pride thing over Matt because he has more commitment issues than anyone I have ever met. He never wanted to be tied to me and he was always too busy off out with his mates, only fitting me in if they weren't about.
'Kev, I promise we can talk about everything tomorrow.'
'You're obviously not interested in sorting this out so don't bother. See you around.'
'Kev. Kev?' He hung up on me! I pull my phone from ear to look at it. 'Kev?' I can't believe he hung up on me.
I hear his car groan as it starts up in the street below me, and I listen to him drive off.
'Argh.' I chuck my phone across the room. It flies past the piles of clothing and unknown objects covering my floor. Landing without a sound. I feel empty and lonely.
The house is silent until I notice my sister Jenny's muffled voice from the kitchen below me. The noise of the kettle takes over from her and I feel comforted by the familiar noises. Memories flash up like a video captured through my eyes at five. Huddled in my bed under the blanket, straining to hear my mum and dad arguing downstairs. I was so annoyed how Jenny always picked the worst moments to scream for attention. Every time I would miss what they were saying.
I think back to the last argument they had. Jenny wailed her way through most of it. She suddenly stopped, leaving the house cloaked with an eerie silence. I was like a statue in my bed, just like I am now. I held my breath and waited. The front door slammed and broke the stillness. I haven't seen my dad since.
I don't think I have felt like I did that night since, until now. Bereft, lonely, and with the nagging suspicion that it is all my fault.
My door slowly opens, and I half expect to see my Mum's tear stained face peering through at me. Wanting both to comfort herself and me, like she did the night he left. Twenty years on it's my sister Jenny's face that greets me, holding up a cup and giving me her best toothpaste advert smile. I roll my puffy eyes at her and sit up to take my tea.
'You okay Luce?' She asks tentatively.
'Oh yeah. Great. On top of the world!' I answer, putting the cup back down on the bedside cabinet and grabbing my fags before opening the window.
'Mum will go mad if she catches you smoking in the house.' I look back into the room from my position, balancing my ribs on the windowsill, and shrug at her. The way my night's going mum walking in is the least of my worries.
'Kev text me asking if I would check on you. What happened this time?' She asks diving onto my bed nearly catapulting me out of the window.
'Hey. Bloody watch it,' I thump her arm. 'I nearly did a superwoman out of here. No wonder my bed is broken the way you launch yourself at it.'
'Whatever.'
'Meemimi.' As much as I love her this is the last thing I need right now.
'I can't help it if your life is more interesting than EastEnders. Why do you think I brought tea?'
'I thought I was getting tea and sympathy, but I guess that isn't the case, no?'
'No way. I'm here for the next instalment.'
'Hmpf' I flick ash onto the roof and give her the look.
'Well?' She wiggles her eyebrows at me.
'Well what?' I blow smoke rings in her direction and watch her swat it away with her hands. 'I thought you were going out with Josh tonight anyway. What happened there?'
'I didn't think it would be such a good idea, I mean it's not like we are still together anymore. He can't expect me to drop everything when he comes back from wherever they have sent him this time. He wasn't overly impressed I turned him down but I'm sure he'll soon get over it.'
'It still seems weird that the two of you aren't together anymore.' My bet that Jenny would be the first one of us to get married and have kids, seems to look less and less likely.
'I guess. Anyway, I'm here for gossip on the disaster that is your life, and not rehash mine!' She steers the conversation back to me half laughing.
'Oh, it's nothing really.' I sigh out of the window and watch the smoke drift upwards. 'Kevin sent me a text meant for some girl called Amy. I threw my phone over there somewhere if you want to have a look at it.' I point in the vague direction of my floor.
'And you expect me to find it in this mess?'
'Hey, I don't have time to clear up. Some of us have a social life.' I flick the butt into the road below and shut my window so I can climb under my duvet.
'Aha. I found it.' She waves it in the air, but all I can see is the top of her head and arm from behind a pile of clothes. I really should have a maid, or at least a quieter social life.
'Why are men so complicated?' I ask her arm.
'He is probably at home asking the same thing about you to Drew.' She reasons diving at my bed sending me bouncing into the air again. It's a good job I don't get motion sickness.
'No, I doubt it. It's not like we were official or anything. He probably isn't that bothered to be honest.'
'Huh, well I have to say that you two are the most official, unofficial couple I have ever met, and if you think he isn't bothered then you are just kidding yourself.'
'Hmmm.' I can't help liking the idea that he would be upset if we weren't together anymore.
'So, what are you going to do about this little slut then?'
'Nothing. No point.' I tell her and pull the duvet higher.
'No point? Lucy, you have got to be joking me. This is the man you love, don't try to deny it.' She holds her hand up to keep me from speaking. 'You can't just let this go.'
'Look. Please do me a favour and leave it tonight. I really need to go to sleep now so that I actually get up on time tomorrow.'
'But...'
'Night Jen.' I roll over cutting her off. 'Turn off the light.' I call out as she huffs out of my room obviously unsatisfied with my plan of action.
I lay on my back, staring into the darkness, waiting for my eyes to adjust. I can't help but smile, thinking of all the things I l
ove about Kevin. From his sexy blue eyes to his manly stubble. The way he runs his hand up into my hair when he kisses me, it always makes me fizz. Amy pops back into my head like an annoying jack-in-a-box, wiping the little bit of happiness straight from my face.
I knew relationships were too much hassle. I wish I had stuck to my single serving rule. Just like the complimentary products in hotel bathrooms, men are there to be enjoyed once and thrown away. A single, hopefully satisfying, use. I sigh checking my phone again to see if he has sent me a message or tried to call just so I can ignore him. Unfortunately, my phone is as unloved as I feel. I hate men. I drop my phone gently back into the mess.
There is only six hours left until I must face the world, and I'm not sure if I'm going to feel up to it.
Chapter 2
Kevin
'Argh. Women.'
How are men ever meant to get what goes on in their heads? They tell us to be more caring, more sensitive, more in touch with our feminine side. We always have to be more. Oh no, of course they don't have to change because they are apparently perfect. How could we ever think any different? Are we stupid? Ah, that's right, we are men, obviously we have no brains.
'God.' Hitting my steering wheel and shouting, relieves some of the tension that has built up into a mountain on my shoulders. I roll my head around to release some of the remaining knots that are twisting up my neck. It's definitely a gym day tomorrow.
I take a last look up at Lucy's window and slowly coast my car down the road. I don't even have the energy to speed off.
See what happens when we go around trying to please them? They go and shag half the county, then blame us because that's what they think we do. What is really doing my head in is the fact she seems to think this whole situation is my fault.
Unreasonable. That is what she is. Single minded, stubborn, contrary and damn right, unreasonable. I'm best off out of it.