Almost Official

by Ruby Reade

  'Right you make the tea, I'll sort out my face. Then I'll read our horoscopes, and you can tell me about last night. I need cheering up.' I half smile at her. If I can get through today and not think about that pig, I'll be fine.

  'Yep, no worries.' She jumps up unsteadily.

  'Try not to breathe on members with your alcohol breath out there.' I call out as she leaves the office.

  I pull out my mirror. I have to say, I'm not looking my best.

  Mornings at work are usually the best part of the day, especially when Satan isn't in the vicinity. Normally our mornings consist of sales meetings, which is where we drink tea, read horoscopes, gossip about members, and work out what the hell it is we really want to be doing instead of being stuck here working for the devil.

  Yesterday, I wanted to be a fashion designer, and Laura was a famous singer. We went to celebrity parties, and I told Bruno Mars that, yes he is very good looking, but regrettably, too short for me. Laura bagged Chris Hemsworth and went to A list parties.

  The receptionists know that if any annoying member of the public decides to walk in wanting to join, we are extremely busy and to come back in later. Our area manager is told a similar story and diverted as we are both working extremely hard and can't possibly stop.

  Laura walks in with a few teas to save us having to leave the office for a while. She puts two down in front of me.

  I grab the paper from my bag, flipping straight to our daily oracle.

  'OK, here we go... Cancer... The moon grants you a wish; it's your chance to start again. If you have just started a relationship, then you find that it could be the one. Romance sparkles at work.... Oh wow. That's a wicked one. Maybe you'll get with one of the members.'

  I look up at her. She has that guilty look on her face again. I can sniff out a whiff of gossip a mile away without fail. This is obviously big if she hasn't cracked by now.

  'Hmm, maybe, I don't really fancy anyone at the moment to be honest. What's yours about?'

  'Aries... Expect the unexpected; there are chances afoot at work and in your love life? The good news is that things are changing for the better in the coming months so sit back and enjoy the ride. Accept offers, you deserve some fun! About bloody time.'

  'Hey that sounds more promising than yesterday's.' She smiles picking up her second cup of tea.

  Sarah pops her head around the door, 'Matt isn't going to be in until two now, he just called and said the meeting is taking longer than he expected.' She darts out just as quickly as she appeared.

  I look at Laura and grin, 'Are you thinking what am thinking' I wriggle my eyebrows.

  'Hair of the dog?' She winks.

  'Let's go. There's no point wasting a golden opportunity to skive off, after all, my star signs told me to have fun.'

  Chapter 4

  Lucy

  Sitting in the Dog's Dinner toasting our second drink, I start to feel happier. Looking around, I wonder how it still has that foggy atmosphere, that most pubs have lost since the smoking ban came into action. There are a couple of old men dotted around, nursing half pints and off in their own alcohol fuzzy world.

  I always think that pubs always look a little sad in the daylight. The beer stained carpet, the sticky tables look neglected, and the lamps on the walls glow redundantly, yet it still manages to make you feel comfortable and relaxed.

  I look up at Laura, seeing the dust in the air behind her that the weak winter sun picks out, as it beams through the windows. I hope it doesn't snow, but the sky has started to look threatening.

  My phone starts vibrating on the table, making us jump. I pick it up, sighing, when I see it's the gym calling.

  'Hi Lucy, just a heads up, Satan is leaving in ten, so he'll be here in about half an hour or so, oh, and Sean's been calling for you.' Sarah's voice trills down the phone at me.

  'Cheers, we'll be back soon.' I shut my phone and cut her off. 'Right. Time to go,' I tell Laura.

  'Is Matt back?' She asks wrinkling her nose up.

  'Nah, he's on his way, and apparently, Sean has been calling. Probably wanting figures.' We drain our drinks and head out.

  'See you Bill.' We both shout at him. He looks up from behind the bar where he has been wiping up glasses while watching the sports channel.

  'Bye ladies.'

  Outside, I pull my coat tighter around myself and look up at the sky, hating the fact I must wrench myself back to my own private hell.

  I run up the steps, but someone is blocking my path.

  'Hi...' The words dying in my mouth as I clock who it is, and remember, I'm not speaking to him.

  'Lucy.' He nods at me not moving.

  'Kevin.' I nod back. My jaw is clamped so tightly together it aches.

  'We still need to talk.' He reaches out but I snatch my arm back so quickly that I nearly knock out an unsuspecting gym member.

  'Oh sorry.'

  'Luce if you just...' He tries to reach for me again, but I am ready this time.

  'I said I don't want to hear it. It's not like you owe me anything.'

  'Oh, for Christ's sake. Crawl out your own arse for a second woman.' He throws his arms like it’s all my fault.

  'Crawl out of my arse? Are you having a laugh? You patronising twat.'

  'Just forget it Lucy. See you later Laura.' He says, stomping down the steps.

  'Erm bye Kev.' Laura looks at me not knowing if she should be talking to him or not.

  'I wish I stayed in the Dogs.' I say to her over my shoulder.

  I've literally walked behind reception and am taking off my coat, when Satan himself walks through the door suited up and looking harassed.

  'Morning, I've just got to call Sean with the figures then we're having a meeting.' He points at me as he walks up the stairs not stopping for a second.

  'Well, I can hardly wait.' I clap my hands together and gush. Now he could be asking me to come upstairs to offer me a fat pay rise, or a promotion but that's as likely as me winning the lottery or becoming a size zero anytime soon. He might be sacking me, which again is unlikely, at least I hope he's not sacking me. My bank manager will be highly unimpressed with the outcome.

  Oh god, I hope he doesn't want to talk about "us." Since I slept with him a couple weeks ago, he seems to think that us having an affair is a brilliant idea and isn't listening to the fact that I don’t want to.

  He's the reason I am now completely single, while he still has Beth to fall back on.

  ***

  He calls me into the office twenty minutes later. I shut the door behind me.

  I wish my office looked like this. All white, black, chrome and glass. And it’s big, very big. I swear my office used to be the cleaning cupboard. It's cramped and has a distinctive smell of mould and smelly feet no amount of Oust and having the windows open can fix.

  'You can sit down you know.' He smiles at me.

  If you didn't know him, then yes, I suppose he is extremely attractive for a thirty something year old bloke that dresses and tries to act like a twenty-year-old.

  He takes off his jacket and tie, rolling his sleeves up he leans forward, pointing at the chair.

  'Lucy, please, sit down.' I realise I haven't moved from the door.

  'Yeah, sorry, of course.' I sit down and try to get comfortable.

  'The thing is, you're doing really well here, the figures are good, and Sean is pleased with your performance.' I finally breathe out, it's about work I can cope with this, and he doesn't want to talk about the other night. I smile at him.

  'But.' But? What does he mean, but? He stands up and walks around the other side of his desk and leans in to look down at me, inches from my face. I try to squeeze further back into the seat, but the reality is, I have nowhere to go.

  Why oh why, is his cock at eye level?

  'But things have to change, I mean I sing your praises to Sean and the other managers, at the moment.' My stomach sinks as I realise where his going with this.

  'Right, what point are you maki
ng Matt?' I ask him. I am desperately looking anywhere but forward.

  'I enjoyed the other night Lucy. I think sometimes it's good to mix business and a little bit of pleasure. It's a good way to let off steam and job pressures, don't you?'

  Now, I usually have an answer but no sleep, no boyfriend and sleazy propositions have left me speechless, so I just stare at him.

  He stands up and walks over to the window.

  'The thing that you need to realise darling is that I’m very powerful in this company. I can make or break your career.' He smiles over his shoulder at me.

  'I'll tell Sean you are making up rumours trying to slur my character with all the other members of staff, and causing an atmosphere here, so it would be better for you to go.' I can't believe I ever slept with this scheming, manipulative tosspot.

  'Everyone will believe me Lucy. You see, I have ten years on you and am secure in my job, I'll make sure that people know that you are incapable of doing this job, and trying to blackmail me into giving you a pay rise even though you obviously have done nothing to deserve it.' You have years on me? What the hell? How the hell does that make a difference?

  'Look, I respect your decision, but I want to sleep with you again. I'm a man used to getting his own way, and right now, I want you.'

  He lays it out as he walks behind me to place his hands on my shoulders. I feel physically sick and want to claw him off me, but I can't move. I feel his breath on my head as he sighs.

  'Take your time, think about what I have said, think about your future, and don't leave it too long giving me your answer.' He orders me walking back to his seat. 'You can go now.' He waves me away and doesn't make any eye contact, busying himself with the papers on his desk.

  'Okay.' I stand up on unsteady legs slowly walking out as he picks up his phone.

  Can my day seriously get any worse? What a see you next Tuesday.

  I walk downstairs in a daze and sit at my desk staring at my computer. Not that I can read anything on the bloody thing.

  'Hey, Lucy? Are you listening to me?'

  'Sorry, what?' I turn to Laura blankly.

  'I said, what are you doing tonight? We could go to the Purple Palace if you're up for it?' She repeats herself.

  'Oh erm, I don't know.'

  Knock. Knock.

  Satan pops his head around the door.

  'Right ladies I'm off for lunch. Lucy please don't take long getting back to me on that issue we discussed.' I can feel him looking at me, when I refuse to acknowledge him, he leaves shutting the door quietly behind himself.

  'What did he say in the meeting?' She asks.

  'That man is unbelievable, abso-fucking-lutely un-belieeevable!'

  'Ooooh gossip and scandal it's the prefect hangover cure. I love it. Quick tell me what happened this time?' She grins, and maybe she is right. Perhaps it is exciting and funny when it's someone else scandal.

  'Well, let’s just say, that he is an arse by definition and is trying to blackmail me. Actually, now he is on lunch, I'm walking out.' Laura looks at me not smiling anymore. 'I'm leaving.' I smile at her suddenly feeling better.

  'What did he do? Is it about the other night?'

  'Basically, I'm as good as sacked if I don't keep sleeping with the toad. If he thinks I'm putting up with that then he must be mental!'

  'He said what? I don't believe it, well I do, but bugger me what a knob.'

  'Tell me about it. A knob with big shiny bells on it.'

  'You're really leaving?'

  'Yup. I can't honestly see how I could stay here after that. I mean we sit here every day talking about how much better our lives could be if we weren't here, so.'

  'Oh man, I'm going to miss you honey I don't want you to go. Who am I going to play tricks on now?'

  'Hopefully they'll replace me with someone as equally gullible as me, who doesn't like doing any work in here either.'

  'Oh yeah that sounds likely, you, are one of a kind!' She gets up and squishes me in a hug. At least the smell of vodka has subsided now.

  'Go on, you best get out of here. When he comes back, I'll say I don't know where you are and send him on a wild goose chase around the gym.'

  'Ah, I'll miss you baby girl. Do you want to go out and celebrate tonight?'

  'Definitely. My hangover has vanished and I'm sure I'll have lots of gossip for you.'

  I hug and kiss her on the cheek before walking out.

  It's the best feeling in the world. I only wish I could see his face when he realises I've left.

  Chapter 5

  Lucy

  I walk along aimlessly, not wanting to go home and face the music. Mum will kill me when she finds out my latest drama.

  I head toward the seafront, climbing the steep hill that leads up to the seawall. I put my elbows on the concrete and my chin on my hands, staring out at the water as boats glide past in the distance. Closing my eyes, I can feel the sun heating my back, the seagulls are squawking above me, and a dog barks on the sand below.

  Every time I remember the fact, that I am now officially unemployed, my throat feels like I have eaten a mouthful of sand and panic bubbles up from the pit of my stomach.

  I open my eyes, letting them rest on a ship that is now level with me. Maybe I should apply to work on a cruise ship and escape for a while.

  'Do you have the time please?' I focus on my watch as I turn toward the male voice.

  'It's two fifte...' I reply, but the words dye in my mouth as I stare up into the face of the most stunning man I have seen around here, well, apart from Kevin of course.

  I memorise the details of his messy dark brown hair, the little freckles that are dotted over his cheeks, and the most amazing deep ocean blue eyes, which are hiding behind bulky glasses, I probably look a little psychotic staring up at him with an unblinking gaze.

  'Are you okay?' He asks, breaking my concentration.

  'How tall are you?' Why would I ask that? If he didn't think I was crazy before, he now at least will think I am a complete moron.

  'Oh. Erm, about six five, or as close as, I guess.' He replies, looking confused.

  'Wow that is tall!' Oh dear god. The classic one liners just keep coming. Shut up Lucy, just shut up.

  'Are you stalking me by any chance?' He asks stepping back from me.

  'Woah. Hold on a second there. Pardon?'

  'It's just that I recognise you and I wondered if you were following me.' I look around for a camera crew. He is gorgeous so he could be famous. I don't recognise him though. Mind you he is overly paranoid and dressed in a way that says off duty actor so perhaps he could be. No, no, I really don't think he is.

  'Afraid not, why, do you have many?' This is by far the weirdest conversation I have ever had with a stranger. At least he is sexy.

  'Many what?'

  'Stalkers.’

  'I'm sorry I was just messing with you.' He reassures me with a smile making the corners of his eyes crinkle up. I think he should have stalkers if he is going to go around smiling at unsuspecting victims like that. Seeing as I have no future plans, I could do with something to fill my time.

  'Oh, right.' How very witty of you Lucy, you idiot.

  'Well, I'll let you get back to staring into space. See you around.' With that he starts walking off.

  'Wait.' Bugger. Now what do I say? Come on, come on Lucy just think of something, anything. 'My name.' Oh spit it out for crying out loud.

  'LUCY. I mean my name. My name is Lucy.' I manage at last.

  'I already knew that.' The mystery man replies with a wink and carries on walking away. I am left staring at his back, wondering how the hell he knows my name.

  'I'm Jamie by the way.' He calls out still walking.

  Jamie. Hmmm, I like that name. I still don't think I have ever met that man before. Surely, I would remember someone that hot. I mean it isn't like there are hundreds of fit men just wandering about the town. A horrible thought hits me, what if he is some random man I have kissed when I have bee
n out on a messy one with the girls, or worse, I could have slept with him before. How embarrassing. I think it's time for me to get myself safely home before I get into any more awkward situations.

  ***

  I am searching for my keys in the depths of my bag and typically, I can find everything, but what I need including, my favourite lighter which has been missing for the past two weeks, unwrapped chewing gum and a leaky pen. I don't know why I have so much crap in my bag. All the contents are in a pile on the doorstep and still no key. I'm locked out until mum or Jen comes home. Brilliant.

  I stand up and look around as if it will magically appear on top of the pile of junk.

  I walk around to the front of the house to see if Mum or Jen has been silly enough to leave one of the windows open. Obviously, there was no chance of that happening because I just don't ever have that sort of luck.

  Ok, let's try to think like a criminal does.

  If I wanted to break into this house, how would a burglar do it?

  The front is a no-go zone, so I head to the gate to try the back instead. I need to climb the locked gate and pray that no one actually mistakes me for a robber. I mean how embarrassing would it be if the police turned up sirens blaring and ready for some action, only to find me locked out of my own house.

  When I get halfway over the gate, and starting to feel very pleased with my achievement, I realise my waistband is stuck, anchoring me in this awkward position, and I am not sure how I am going to get down exactly.

  All the blood is rushing to my head and I am starting to wonder, if my head might explode. I hear a ripping noise that makes all other thoughts vacate my mind. My trousers are ripping. My bloody stupid trousers are ripping.

  The faster I am moving, the more I am dropping. Moving inevitably closer to the ground face first.

  Rip. Ri-i-i-i-i-i-p.

  'Oomph!' I crash into a heap on the floor, bruising all my vital parts on the way. I also have a gigantic hole from my waist to my lady bits. Perfect.

  Just when I think it couldn't get any worse, I realise that my bag and fags are on the other side of the gate.