by Lulu Pratt
“I was meaning to catch up with her again before the night was through but didn’t get that chance.”
“Her,” she said, studying my face. “Who is she?”
“Her name is Naomi. She’s young, brunette, pretty. I guess she’s a teacher here in town. She paints and sells some of her pieces.”
Lindsey studied me as I gave her what I knew. “And you only want to buy some of her art?”
“Does it matter?”
“No. But,” she stepped closer and slid her hand over my crotch. “If she’s getting some of this then I might have a problem with it.”
“I’m just interested in her art,” I lied.
I didn’t need the hassle of having to justify why I wanted Naomi in my bed rather than Lindsey. I had a part to play in this town, and if I moved outside of the guidelines of bad boy biker, it was apparently a problem.
“Well, take me to dinner tonight, have me for dessert, and maybe I can help you find her,” Lindsey said with a wink.
“So, you don’t know her or know where I can find her?”
She shook her head, her eyes glued to mine.
“Okay. Thanks,” I started my bike and put my foot on the clutch.
“What about dinner?”
“I’ll let you know,” I pulled away from the curb and left her standing there with any thoughts I might have had about her.
I drove out of town back to my place, my mind was full of thought. What were my other options? Wait till Monday and comb the schools? That wasn’t weird. I was typically out of options and because I lacked the resources of people I knew in this town I didn’t know who I could turn to for help.
“Give it up, man,” Bones was still lounging in my living room on my expensive leather couch and drinking my beer. “Ya did her, it was good. Chalk it up to a good time, a great memory you can jack off to, and move on. Miss Goody-Goody isn’t right for you anyway.”
I ignored him. She was right for me. She was perfect, and I couldn’t just let her go.
* * *
Two months later and I ended up taking Lindsey up on her offer. Dinner and drinks were enough to satiate me for the time being. Problem was, I was only going through the motions. I wasn’t interested in a relationship or even casual sex. Naomi was still somewhere in my mind, but I had given up looking for her. I believed in fate, and it was meant to be, it would have happened by now.
After dinner, Lindsey and I sat on a patio watching the late August sun go down. Although I had enjoyed Lindsey’s company, I found myself measuring her against Naomi, who still visited my dreams nightly. I’d even gone to bed early a few times in the hopes of laying in her arms once more.
Lindsey was charming and interesting, but I’d only gone out with her as she’d begged me to.
“The Labor Day beach party is coming up,” she said. “Are you going?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you should. With me.”
“The beach isn’t really my thing.”
“You fucking live on one. What do you mean it’s not your thing?”
“I’m probably busy anyway.”
“You’re probably busy? I think you’re making excuses, Devlin.”
I shook my head and sucked down the drink. “No. I don’t make excuses. I make things happen.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I think I’m going to head out of town.”
“Why? Where are you going?”
“Wherever my bike leads me.”
She put her hands on the table. “So that’s it? You’re just going to up and leave? I thought that as you had contacted me that you were interested in staying around for a while.”
“I never promised you anything, Lindsey.”
Her face turned sour. “What the fuck do you plan on finding when you get to the next town? Huh? Why can’t you settle down in one place?”
“It’s not what I want.”
“I think you’re scared.”
I chuckled and looked away. “I’m not scared.”
“I think you are. You’re afraid of giving someone a piece of your heart. You’re afraid that if you let someone in, they might hurt you. Haven’t you ever heard the term it’s better to have loved and lost—”
“I’m not a cliché! I know exactly what I want!”
Lindsey froze for a moment before storming off to the restroom. It wasn’t her fault I couldn’t find what truly made me happy. And, in a way, she was right. I was afraid of it.
After a few minutes, she returned. Her eyes puffy.
“Sorry,” I said.
“I know I’m not her,” she said, still looking out over the water next to the patio.
I felt my humility crumble to the ground. “Her?”
“Naomi? Is that her name?”
I lowered my head.
“I thought so. I don’t pretend to be oblivious to the fact that you’ve been thinking of her all evening. I know you’ve been looking for her.”
It was true. I’d searched high and low for her, going to different bars, restaurants, grocery stores, anywhere and everywhere in the hopes of running into her.
Lindsey shook her head, taking a sip of wine before continuing. “I don’t know who this woman is, but she must have been someone spectacular. I wish I could give you whatever she did, but I know I can’t. The one thing I can do is be here for you, be your companion, listen to you when you want to talk. Stop running off, Devlin. Let me take care of you.”
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”
“I know you don’t. But you can let me. Give me a reason to get up in the morning. I don’t have anyone else in my life. You know that. Will you go with me to the beach party? Please?”
As much as I wanted to turn her down, I nodded and tipped my drink back.
“Good. You won’t regret it. You’ll have fun. I’ll make sure of it,” she smiled. “Anyway, it looks like I won’t be admiring a ceiling over your shoulder tonight, so I’ve already arranged an Uber to pick me up.”
“So, you’re sticking me with the bill?” I said with a smile.
“It’s the least you can do.” Lindsey stood and kissed me on the cheek. “See you in a couple of days.”
CHAPTER 5
Naomi
“SO, WHAT DO you think?” Mia pranced out of the bedroom, wearing a white bikini with a sarong wrapped around her waist.
I looked up from the couch and smiled. Her naturally dark skin was always flawless, making the white material stand out.
I whistled as she turned around, popping her arms up into the air. “Very nice,” I said. “Is it new?”
“It is. I bought it yesterday and I love it.”
“It looks amazing on you.”
“I was hoping. I’m trying to get Katie’s attention at the beach party.”
“She’s still not returning your calls?”
“No. I don’t know what her deal is,” Mia said softly.
“I thought for sure you two would have hit it off. You are so good together.”
“Tell her that. Anyway, what are you wearing?”
“I haven’t thought about it.”
“Well, you had better. It’s tomorrow. You aren’t going in last year’s suit. I won’t allow it.”
“I don’t know if I’m even going,” I sighed.
“What?” Mia’s eyes grew wide. “You have to go. You can’t miss the Labor Day beach party. It’s the big blowout at the end of summer before everything changes, and the beaches get shut down for the season. We go every year.”
“I don’t know. I’m just not feeling the best lately.”
“That’s an understatement. What’s wrong with you?” She plopped down next to me on the couch.
“I think it’s the ‘flu or something. I don’t know. I haven’t been very hungry and everything I do eat I want to throw back up again.”
She put her hand on my forehead and cocked her head. “You don’t feel warm. Maybe it’s something y
ou ate.”
“Maybe,” I glanced at the trash can in the kitchen where I threw the pregnancy test away in hopes of no one finding it. The two tiny blue lines were still seared into my mind.
“Well, maybe getting out of the house and actually doing something fun will do you good. Say it with me, girl. Alcohol.”
“Maybe.”
“Come on. You haven’t done much in the last few months.”
“I know. I’ve been—”
“Don’t give me the I’ve been busy bit. You haven’t been that busy. You’re not even back at work yet.”
I didn’t have an argument. She had me.
“Naomi, I can’t pretend I haven’t noticed a change in you. I don’t know what’s up, but you really need to snap out of it. You seem, I don’t know, depressed.”
“What do you mean? I’m not depressed,” I sat up straight and held my chin up in a futile attempt to ward off any proof. “How have I changed?”
“Oh, gee. I don’t know. Seems like ever since the Fourth of July carnival you’ve been wallowing in your own private bubble. I believe I could say that Devlin had something to do with it.”
I felt a nauseous feeling crash over me, and I closed my eyes. “I was so stupid to go off with him that night.”
“No, you weren’t. What you were stupid about was falling for him.”
“I didn’t fall for him,” I scoffed, crunching my eyebrows together.
“You’re lying. You said it was the best sex of your life. Was there more to it than just that? You were only supposed to screw him for a good time and then pat on that nice ass of his to send him on his way. ”
“I… tried.”
“I know. Instead, he got into your head and changed you somehow.”
I looked at her wanting to tell her everything but not knowing how.
“I’m sorry you weren’t able to find him again, Naomi. But, I think it’s for the best. He probably would have broken your heart. It’s not like he’s the kind of guy to stick around, ya know? Hell, he’s probably five states away by now.”
“Yeah.” Tears welled up in my eyes, and I pushed the covers off my legs to get away before the waterworks began again.
“Naomi,” she called after me. “What’s wrong?”
I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. “I’ll be out in a minute,” I choked.
“It’s something more than Devlin and that night, isn’t it?”
I let the water run out of the faucet, the cold water smoothing my hands. The image I saw looking back at me in the mirror wasn’t the woman I knew. I wasn’t familiar with the pregnant eyes looking back. “How did I get here?” I asked the reflection in a whisper. “What do I do now?”
I cupped my hand and let the water pool up before bringing it to my mouth. The cold water running down into my stomach felt good. I covered my face with my hands and let the coldness battle the heat from my cheeks.
Truth was I have always wanted a child, a family of my own to care for, but I didn’t want to do it alone. This moment was supposed to be shared happily with the man I was in love with, the man I had married, the man I wanted to grow old with. Nausea hit my stomach again, and I pooled the water into my hands once more, bringing it to my mouth. Unfortunately, all the sips in the world would have done nothing that time, and I emptied what I had in my stomach into the toilet.
A soft knock on the door was followed by Mia’s tender voice. “Are you okay, Naomi? Can I get you anything?”
Devlin would be nice, I thought. I wondered how he would have reacted to my news. A drifter on his way through town being stopped by the likes of me and his unexpected offspring. What would he have done? I scoffed and shook my head at the thought. I would have been raising this child on my own regardless if he knew or not. Maybe it was a good thing I didn’t find him.
I leaned against the bathroom wall and smiled at the memories of that night. He touched me with such passion, a feeling I had never known. He was so tender yet so dominant. I closed my eyes and relived the way he’d made love to me. I had fantasized about that night over and over again, wishing I could have seen him again. I never regretted my night with him, but I wondered how different things would have been if I had been a little smarter about it. I was like a sex-starved maniac only caring about the act itself and how amazing he was. I didn’t bother getting his phone number or last name. I didn’t bother about protection. And there I sat pregnant, single and with no way of contacting him.
I began to laugh.
“Naomi?” Mia knocked on the door again. She rattled the doorknob. “Open the door. Is there a demon in there possessing you or something?”
“No. I’m just realizing how comical my life is right now.”
“Yeah. Really funny in a boring, stay-at-home sort of way,” she replied.
If she only knew.
“You’re going to that beach party with us. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
I opened the door with a smile on my face and nodded. “Yes, I am.”
After a full day of shopping for the right swimsuit and cover-up, Camilla, Mia and I went to dinner. We feasted on everything we shouldn’t have, and when I chose water with lemon over their mai tais and Long Island iced teas, that warranted a curious look from Mia.
“I’m still not feeling the best,” I defended. “And you know I rarely drink.”
“Oh, yeah. The way you polished off your dinner I can see that. You’re totally under the weather.”
“I… was hungry. At least I got my appetite back. I guess the ‘flu is over after all.”
“Who puts syrup on steak, anyway?” asked Camilla. “Even the waitress looked at you weird when you asked for it.”
“I’m trying new things. I saw it on Pinterest. It’s actually pretty good. You should try it.”
“I’m good, thanks.”
She glanced at my plate with just a bit of the evidence of my odd cravings and frowned.
I didn’t know how long I could keep my pregnancy from them. I knew I had to tell them sooner or later. More added stress.
I awoke the next morning to a beautiful day — Labor Day — and I still hadn’t told anyone about my situation. I looked in the mirror at my stomach after I put on my new suit. I didn’t look any different, but I sure did feel different. Luckily, the nausea had subsided, and I was finally feeling upbeat. I wanted to have a good time at the beach, and I had decided to make the best of the situation. I was going to have this baby and raise it the best I knew how. I had my best friends by my side, and my mom was only a phone call away. I decided to tell them after the party was over if they weren’t too drunk to comprehend it all.
I was putting the iced tea I was planning on drinking next to my beach bag that was already full of all the necessities of a day at the beach when I hear a knock at my front door. I took a big breath, and walked across the room, opened the door, and smiled. Mia and Camilla waltzed in parading around in their perfect swimsuits with their perfect bodies. All the while, there I was feeling defective. I slid my hand over my stomach and tried to join in on their happiness.
“Looks like you are ready for the day,” Mia said.
“I am. I can’t wait to get to the beach.”
She eyed me curiously before saying, “Let’s get this party started.”
I grabbed my beach bag and followed them out the door.
By the time we had got there, a line of grills were smoking and loaded with every kind of meat one could imagine. A few guys we hung out with were busy flipping burgers with a spatula in one hand and a beer in the other and hitting on every pretty girl who passed them by.
“Hey, ladies,” one of them called out. He held his beer up and smiled. “Lookin’ good.”
“Hey, Jamie,” Camilla cooed.
“God, some things never change,” Mia scoffed.
“Let’s hope not.” Camilla had her eyes glued on him as she slowly turned around walking beside us.
We found a spot near some other friends
playing frisbee, and Camilla threw her things down and ran up to them. “I’ll play!” She was never one to hold back from the fun.
I laid my beach blanket down and pulled the sun lotion out of my bag. Mia sat next to me and cracked open a fruity drink from her cooler.
“This is nice,” she said. “I’m glad you decided to come with us.”
“Like I had a choice?”
She giggled and held her drink up. “Touché. I’m your best friend. I wasn’t going to let you stay at home and sulk over whatever you are still sulking over. What kind of friend does that? Now, where’s your drink?”
“I’ll get one. I’m not ready yet.”
I covered myself with sun lotion and took my time rubbing it in before laying back. I still had my cover-up on for fear of too much sun on the baby. I didn’t know all the rules yet, and maybe I was being overly cautious, but I didn’t care.
I closed my eyes and listened to everyone around me.
Mia interrupted my thoughts of the baby. “Some of the guys are going to the other side of the reefs to do some scuba diving. Wanna go?”
“Sure. That sounds fun. Is the water warm enough to dive down to the reefs?”
“They said it is. They have extra suits if we need them. It’s worth the walk anyway. There are a bunch of people over there already.”
Mia grabbed an extra drink, and we motioned for Camilla to join us.
“I’m going to stay and play some more,” she yelled back while secretly pointed to one of the other players who looked damned good shirtless.
Mia’s mouth dropped open, and she giggled. “Let me know how it is.”
“She’s hopeless,” I said, shaking my head.
“Agreed. Come on. Let’s get over there,” Mia grabbed my hand, and we ran along the shoreline until we reached the reefs. There were more people on the beach there than there were at the other one.
I took a sip of my drink and looked around. Mia gasped, and I snapped my head to her. She quickly looked at me with wide eyes grabbing my hand.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she blurted. “I’m just excited to scuba dive.”
“You’re acting weird. What gives?”