by T E Elliott
“Really?” she smiled, “And how old were you when you tried to win her heart?”
“Oh, ten, I think.”
“A strapping young man, I’m amazed she could refuse!”
“I suppose I can’t blame her, she was fifteen at the time. I guess she had no interest in younger men.”
They both laughed and continued to the garden. He opened the door for her and she walked into what seemed like a fairy world. Colors exploded everywhere, trees for shade and fruit speckled the landscape, expertly carved marble statues of graceful women and perfect men ornamented the lawn.
“It’s beautiful!” She took a few steps in awe, drinking in the delightful place.
“I’m happy you approve,” he said proudly, “Lambert and I have worked hard to make it a haven.”
“No wonder you can be in here all day,” she turned back toward him. “Show me what you see. Let me see it through your eyes.”
A spark lit in those delightful green eyes. “The thing about plants,” he began, “is that there is such a diversity of purpose while also being so pleasing to the senses. Take Calendula Officinalis for instance.” He walked to the side and knelt down by a patch of dainty yellow flowers. Léa did the same. “A humble flower, pretty but not very refined, the yellow adds a brightness to the garden that is hard to resist, but what you don’t see is that it actually has remarkable healing properties. It can be used to fight infection in a wound as well as a number of other uses.”
Standing up, he took her to another section that looked to contain herbs. “Rosemary, thyme, and so many other herbs add flavor to our food and have medicinal uses as well. Valerian has a wild sort of beauty as well as a strong scent, but under the surface, its roots can help to calm you and aid sleep.” He continued walking and Léa followed, delighted by what he was describing as well as the joy he seemed to derive from it all.
“Trees give shade on a hot day and also produce fruit to feed us. Not to mention they’re lots of fun to climb! For little boys, I mean...for children, they’re fun for children to climb.” He cleared his throat.
Smiling, she asked, “Does that mean you don’t climb them anymore? What a pity!”
“In truth it wasn’t so long ago,” he laughed.
“I wish I could climb trees.” It was an offhanded comment, she wasn’t really expecting him to respond.
Audric suddenly had a far-off look in his eyes and he chewed his bottom lip, then he looked her dress up and down.
“Is that the look you make when you’re figuring something out?”
“Huh? Oh,” he chuckled, “I suppose it is. Does the less formal dress you were in before allow for...hm...greater movement?”
“Well,” she laughed, “it does, yes.”
“Hm,” he nodded his head, and was lost to thought again.
She smiled to herself as she walked to a large and deep fountain and sat at its edge. Fish were swimming peacefully beneath the surface. “Do you think a water nymph lives in this fountain?”
“If she does, I certainly don’t have anything to fear from her.”
Léa gave him a questioning look.
Audric explained, “Some believe that water nymphs, drawn to the beauty of men, will pull them down into the watery depths. I don’t think one would find me worth the trouble.”
Instead of responding, she looked away and noticed the cottage. “You have a cottage in your garden! Do you store your tools there?”
Laughing, he took her hand and led her to the little cottage where she peered in a window. “Oh, how cozy! Ah, and another harpsichord!”
“Yes, feel free to play here as often as you wish.”
Leaning down, she smelled the roses that were all around the cottage. Without thinking, she said, “No wonder Father thought I’d enjoy these!”
“I’m sorry?” he asked, confused.
“Oh, nothing, Father just knows I enjoy roses.”
She sat down on a marble bench and leaned her head back, drinking in the sunshine and atmosphere. Audric sat down on the ground and leaned over to rest on his elbow. He plucked a blade of grass and fiddled with it. Léa brought her head down and observed him. Upon looking up, he caught her staring and was suddenly uneasy. He looked down again and asked soberly, “What is it? Do I ruin the scene?”
“No,” she knelt down off the bench and billowed her skirts out before her in the grass, “No, not at all,” she looked steadily into his face. “I was just thinking,” she continued, “as nice as this place is, how have you been able to bear so much solitude? I adore the quiet and peace, but even I would find myself longing for company after so many days alone.”
He slid over on his back and blew the pieces of grass out of his hand. “It’s always there, the loneliness. The ache of it isn’t always as strong, but it never really goes away.”
“How unhappy you must be.” He turned his head to look into her doe eyes. She was like a little mother hen that had found her chick had wandered off and gotten hurt.
“Not as much as you might imagine. Of course, I’ve had some dark days over the years. It was the worst when I was about fifteen, not quite a boy, not quite a man, trying to find my place in the world—realizing more and more that my world was incredibly small. I had no companion, no friend, I was beginning to see that no woman would ever love me—except my mother,” he let out a sardonic breath, “The ache at the core of my being felt like it would squeeze the life out of me.” He glanced over to find her listening attentively. “I cried out for God to just let me die. My parents, my tiny sister, they would all be better off with me gone.” He went back up on his elbow and stared intently up at her. “And that’s when I heard his voice for the first time. He said, ‘My son died so that you could live.’” Noticing that he was losing her a bit, he stood up and found the shears, clipping a rose.
Hunching down in front of her, he continued, “I found something that day, a beauty in the pain, a joy in the loneliness. Many think...well, so I’ve read,” he admitted, “that pain and happiness can’t exist together, that it’s one or the other, but I’ve found that at times the two can walk hand in hand; like the rose.” He handed the freshly clipped rose to her. “Thorns connected to something so delicate and beautiful.”
Holding it gingerly between her fingers, she brought it to her nose, then looked over at him, the light in his eyes was bright as he explained further. “That day I felt a love wash over me that was so deep it made my heart want to burst open. That love has a name, Léa!”
Léa stared into his eyes with a soft smile on her lips.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“They call you a beast, Audric, but I have known men who deserve that title far more than you do. You have a beautiful soul!”
He laughed softly and looked down.
“Don’t laugh, that’s something that few have, even among good men.”
“Yes, well, I lack one thing that a good, ordinary man might have.”
“What is that?”
“The ability to captivate your heart.”
Chapter 13
Marguerite caught up with Francine as she left the house with Monsieur’s lunch tray. Francine gave her a questioning look. Marguerite shifted Léa’s tray in her arm and explained that Mademoiselle was in the gardens today. As they came to the formal gardens and didn’t see her, they wondered where she could be.
“Did she return to her room?” Francine wondered.
“No, for certain, I checked there first.” Marguerite responded.
They stared at each other and grew excited.
“You don’t think…”
“Surely he wouldn’t take her there already.”
“Could she be in the sitting room?”
“Devereux didn’t mention it.”
Then, all at once, they took off toward the hedged garden as fast as they could without upsetting their trays. They stumbled over each other to get through the door. Sure enough, Mademoiselle was sitting on the grass
with Monsieur. They gave each other an astonished look, then both began to smile. She must be special if their master brought her to the sanctum sanctorum, not even Duchesse d'Aramitz was welcomed to stay there for long.
They tried to approach the pair discreetly. When they came close enough, they noticed that Mademoiselle had a troubled look on her face. Upon seeing them, Audric stood up and Léa sat back on her knees.
“Forgive us, Monsieur, Mademoiselle, we did not mean to intrude,” Francine said as she set her tray on the bench. Marguerite followed suit.
“No intrusion, Francine, perfect timing in fact,” he glanced at Léa, who tucked her head and looked away as she tried to ignore him. He didn’t expect her to be in love with him, but the fact that she didn’t attempt to deny that he had no chance told him all he needed to know about how she felt. He didn’t blame her, it only confirmed what he thought would be true before she even arrived.
“Is there anything you need, Mademoiselle?” Marguerite asked.
“No,” she stood up and brushed off her skirts, “I think I’m going to return to the house just now.”
Dismayed, Audric took her hand, “Please stay, for a moment at least.” She nodded but kept her eyes down. The two maids quickly curtsied and moved to leave the garden.
“Come with me.” He kept hold of her hand as he led her to a nearby tree that had a pleasant shady spot underneath. “I apologize, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable just now.”
She studied her hands, “It’s not that, Audric, it’s just…”
“Yes? You can tell me anything, I won’t be angry with you,” he encouraged her.
“I care a great deal for you already, I love our talks every evening and I count you a dear friend, I just don’t know…” She couldn’t continue.
“If you can ever love me,” he finished for her.
She looked up into his eyes, “Yes. That is, when we are married, we’ll be husband and wife, of course. I know what is expected of me, and a certain measure of love could certainly follow. But I find I am not...”
“Attracted to me? Léa, I don’t expect you to be.”
“I’m so sorry. I just don’t want to give you false hope for something that I don’t feel at the moment. I feel horrible for saying it.”
He turned his head down, picked up a stone and flicked it, then rested his arm on his knee. When he spoke it was full of tenderness, “When Mother said she’d found me a wife, I was terrified. How could she—you,” he corrected and smiled, “possibly know what you were getting into. I hardly expected you to be so thoughtful and gentle, that you would call me friend. Of course there’s the hope for more…but I know that may never happen. I just thought that if perhaps we could come to a mutual respect, it might be enough, that staying here with me wouldn’t be...unbearable. As far as ‘what’s expected of you,’ well, I lay no such claim on you. I have hope but no expectations. Can we simply take the path as it comes?”
She nodded her head and smiled in appreciation. “It’s certainly not unbearable to be with you, Audric, I do enjoy your company,” she added, dearly wishing in that moment that she could give him the love he so deeply craved. “Thank you, Audric. You’re a better man than you know.”
“If you say so,” he gently bumped her shoulder with his, “And, of course you may go to the house if you wish, but don’t leave on my account, I can go if you would like to stay longer. You’re always welcome to come here whenever you desire, whether I’m here or not.”
“No, don’t go, I’m better now, and I couldn’t possibly make you leave your own treasured place.”
Before he could respond, his mother came through the garden door. “It would seem my treasured place has become a free-for-all today! I’d better go see what she needs to speak to me about. Excuse me.”
He jumped up and went over to meet her. Léa stood up as well and made her way to the lunch trays, picking up something to eat and watching the two as they talked at a distance from her.
As Audric approached his mother, she waved a letter at him. “Audric,” she was slightly out of breath, “you will never believe the letter I’ve just received from your sister.”
“What is it? Is she well?” his face clouded and his voice carried worry.
“Yes, yes, quite well, but she says she’s coming to visit. She received my letter saying you’d taken a wife and now she wants to meet her.”
“I can’t imagine Aunt has approved of this, she’s never wanted to travel down this far to give Lisette a visit before. Or, at least, that was the excuse. I know it was me she didn’t want to see.” He paused, “You told Lisette I’d taken a wife?”
She lowered the letter, “Yes, well, I thought the deed would be done before it would matter to your sister.”
“Hm, when is she coming?”
“Tomorrow! It says so in her letter. My sister will not accompany her, but she will have someone to travel with to be sure. Oh, Audric, I need to find Villeneuve, she needs to prepare Lisette’s old room and go to the city. We’ll need to plan her favorite meals and what else? We’ll need to choose a different maid for Mademoiselle Du Bois, Lisette will want Marguerite. Or do you think she’ll bring one of my sister’s maids?”
“Mother, Mother, calm down.” He took her by the shoulders, “We’ll work everything out.”
She gave him a condescending glare, “That’s what your father used to say. Men never know what multitude of details go into entertaining. Well, well, I have to track down Villeneuve, but I wanted to tell you first off.” She squinted as she glanced in the distance. “Is that Mademoiselle Du Bois?” They both turned to see Léa, her mouth full, sitting by the food trays. She stopped when she saw them staring in her direction, put a hand to her mouth and tried to swallow the large mouthful of food. Not knowing what to do, she waved.
Audric waved back then turned back to his mother, “Yes, I invited her here.”
“Well, if that is what you wish, I won’t stand in the way.” She turned to leave, then stopped, “Oh, and do be so good as to speak to her about behaving herself in front of Lisette.”
He gave her an incredulous laugh, “And what do you think she’ll do to embarrass you, slide down the banisters?”
“You never know with these village girls. I am off!” She lifted the letter and bustled away.
Upon returning to Léa, he told her, “It would seem my sister has taken it upon herself to visit at last.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful! Isn’t it? I know it’s been some time, but you’ll be happy to see her, won’t you?”
“I’ll be happy to see her, of course, though I do wonder how much she remembers of me and whether she still thinks of me fondly.”
“Why is she coming now, after all this time?”
“Well, we have you to thank for that. I do have to warn you though, Mother has told her we’re already married. I hope that won’t be too embarrassing for you.”
“Oh, well, I’m sure once she knows that we plan to, all will be well.”
“Of course.” He smiled, grateful for her understanding.
“You should eat, it’s very good.” She gestured toward his untouched tray.
Planting himself on the ground, he reached for a strawberry and brought it to his mouth, then stopped, “I wouldn’t have thought even two weeks ago that I would’ve been ready to be seen by you, Léa, and you have been so good to me.” He looked up to her. “Now I find myself apprehensive at the thought of going through it all over again. Do you think she will accept me as she once did? She’s likely to be a different person now.”
Léa leaned over, “Audric, I don’t believe she would come here now, uninvited, if she didn’t remember her brother fondly and desire to join in his happiness.”
He looked down at his strawberry, then back up at her, “I’m thankful to have you by my side at least.”
“And I’m happy to be there for you.”
After lunch, Audric encouraged her to change. “For tree climbing,” he’d said.
She did so, but she was still doubtful it would work out. The tree he chose had sturdy, spread-out branches that would be easier to reach, and he produced a ladder for assistance.
He took off his coat and heavy boots, and Léa gave him an apprehensive look.
“I’ll climb up first, then we’ll work it out from there,” he told her before climbing to a limb with the agility of an acrobat. By now, she was interested to see how this was going to play out.
“Climb up the ladder, it will be easier for you that way,” he called down as he held it steady from above. Léa hitched her skirt up and climbed until she was a little higher than level with the branch.
“Now, perhaps, give it a hop on over and I’ll steady you.”
Léa laughed at the very idea of all this. She made to do it, then stopped. “You promise you won’t let me fall?” She eyed him warily.
“I wouldn’t encourage you to do it if I thought you’d fall,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Of course,” she nodded and drew in a breath, “Well, do or die, I suppose.” She then hopped back onto the branch beside him and, sure enough, he caught her around the waist and steadied her against him. He didn’t let go until she adjusted into a secure position.
Léa looked out over the garden. Seeing it from that vantage point was like looking down on a painting. The birds chirped and sang and the sunlight sent its rays through the branches above them. As she turned her head up to take it all in, Audric thought how nice her nearness felt. How many times when he was younger had he sat here longing for someone to share such peaceful moments with, and his heart ached again, so near, yet he feared she might be just out of reach forever.
Turning her gaze to him, she smiled and his breath caught, she really was distractingly beautiful. He smiled back and had Léa been able to look past the animal-like hair of his face, she would have noticed that he had a decidedly attractive smile. Instead she sat there oblivious to it, thinking instead how thoughtful it was of him to find a way to bring her up here.