“I’m all yours. Always.”
The water lapped against our bodies and I bobbed up and down a little. “Good to know. What do you want to do now? Should we take that kayak out?” I asked. Dad and I loved to kayak, and I was looking forward to showing off my skills.
“Yeah. I’m down. Can we do it naked or are you going to insist on wearing clothing?”
“We’re not kayaking naked,” I said with a laugh. “Let’s grab our suits. We can go adventure around the island.”
He carried me all the way in and set me down when we reached the shore. As I wrapped myself in the robe, I watched Cruz as he gazed out at the water. I never wanted this moment to end.
“Are you even rowing?” I panted, glancing over my shoulder, shooting daggers at him.
My boyfriend sat back, his legs were crossed at the ankles and hanging off the side of the kayak. I was determined to paddle out to this little alcove I spotted up ahead, but it was further away than I anticipated. We’d kayaked every day since we’d arrived, and I loved it. Cruz definitely preferred to sit back and enjoy the scenery.
“Baby, I don’t need to. You’re treating this like an Olympic sport. I’m just here to watch my girl go for the gold.”
I used my paddle to shovel water in his face. He laughed, before grabbing me from behind and tipping our kayak. We both went under, and his hands were on me as we surged to the surface.
“I can’t believe you tipped us over. We’ll never get there now that you capsized us,” I said, pushing the hair back from my face and trying to hide my smile, while treading water to stay afloat.
“I wish we could stay here forever.” Cruz kissed me before flipping our boat over and helping me back in. He jumped up and flopped into the kayak and I tried my best to steady us so we didn’t fall over again.
We’d spent the last few days in the water, lounging on the beach, and playing board games. Just me and Cruz. We’d talked about the future, and pretty much had sex in every room in the house as well as multiple times in the water. I’d never been so relaxed. We were going to be fine. Summer was just around the corner and this was exactly what we needed. Cruz barely drank the entire time we were here, and the only prescription he was taking was the Adderall. He promised he’d stop taking it as soon as he was done touring. He’d kept his promise to cut back on the drinking and I was proud of him.
“I wish we didn’t have to go back either. This is my new favorite place. It’s so peaceful.”
“Yeah, we only saw the one couple yesterday. It’s been so quiet. I love it,” he said.
“Are you referring to the couple we smoked in the kayak race?” I teased.
“Yeah. That eighty-year-old couple with a cooler on the back of their kayak, who had no idea we were in a race. They were out for a picnic and you fucking left them in your wake.” He laughed hysterically and I couldn’t help but join in.
“That guy bowed up when we pulled along-side him. It was go-time. I can’t help it if I smoked him. And no thanks to you. I don’t even think you put your paddle in the water once,” I said, rolling my eyes.
I stopped and moved to sit between his legs. I took in the beautiful surroundings. The water glistened in the light shining down, and the sound of the water lapping against the shore filled the space around us. Tranquility at its finest. All of our hard work to stay together had paid off. We were in the final stretch, and we were closer than ever.
And I’d never been happier.
Chapter Sixteen
Cruz
“You’ve been in a perpetual bad mood since your trip to Gilligan’s Island, Winslow,” Tia said as we exited the tour bus and made our way into the hotel.
“It’s called Little Gasparilla Island.” I rolled my eyes and stepped on the elevator. She was right though. I was being a dick. Spending those days with Jade reminded me of what I was missing. Not only my fucking amazing girl but the normalcy she brought to my life. Stepping away from this chaos proved how much pressure I’d been under. The label was up my ass for more lyrics. Luke still hadn’t locked either of the two dudes they were considering down. The hours were brutal. I was trying not to drink and had cut back on my pill intake, and I was miserable. I never knew what day it was, or when it was time to sleep. I was a walking zombie. And Tia was annoying as hell as she insisted on reminding me daily how grumpy I was.
Lennon was crazy fucking in love with Bailey, and I was happy for him. My brother was in a good place. I could finally step away without carrying the weight of the world and the fear that I might be hurting him. But for now, I was stuck in this limbo state and I hated it. Adam was the only one I really talked to about it, because he understood my misery. He loved the band, but he wasn’t like Lennon. He could see a life beyond it. For now, it was his livelihood, and he kicked ass at it, but I could see him stepping away in a few years. And Dex—that little prick was on my last fucking nerve. He brought chicks back to our suite continually. All of us had girls now, yet he continued to push these girls on us. It pissed me off. He was drunk more than he was sober, in fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen Dex sober. Not since we’d been out on tour.
“Ah, so that’s what you’re crabby about. My lack of knowledge in geography?” she grumbled in the elevator.
“I’m fucking tired. We’ve been traveling more than usual, and I’m burned out.”
“Yeah. I’m ready for a weekend off, too.” She walked beside me down to her room and pulled her baggy out of her back pocket and popped a few pills in her mouth.
“You sure are taking that shit a lot,” I said.
“Are you a doctor now?”
“Nope. Suit yourself. Just know a pill popper when I see one,” I said, stopping at my door and swiping the keycard.
“Fuck you, Winslow.” She stormed to her room.
Jesus, I needed a break from all these people. I dropped on my bed and called Jade. She answered the phone groggily, and the sound of her voice calmed me.
“Hey, baby,” I said. Her room was dark, but I could see the outline of her pretty face.
“How was the show?”
“Good. Crazy. Long,” I said, tugging my shirt over my head.
“You sound tired. You okay?” She turned on her side, and the light from her phone illuminated her, allowing me to make out her features.
“Yeah. Just need a shower and some sleep. I love you.”
“Love you, more. I’ll call you in the morning, okay?” she said, and her sleepy smile did crazy shit to me.
“Yep. Talk to you in the morning.”
“Good night,” she said before we disconnected the call.
After I rinsed off, I climbed into bed, desperate for sleep. My head hit the pillow and I was gone.
A banging on my bedroom door startled me from sleep. The room was still dark, so I knew it wasn’t morning yet. I was going to kick someone’s ass for waking me up.
“Cruz,” Luke shouted through the door.
I stumbled across the room and flipped on a light. What the fuck was going on? This wasn’t like him at all. The dude didn’t party, and he wasn’t an asshole.
I yanked the door open.
Luke stood on the other side, and the look on his face made my heart race.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s your mom. She’s in the hospital. I need to get you and Lennon on a plane now.”
He stepped inside and shut the door. I dropped to sit on the edge of the bed. “What happened? Is she okay?
“I don’t know Cruz. Your dad said she never woke up. She’s in a coma.”
“A coma? How the fuck is she in a coma? Was there an accident?”
“That’s all I know. It’s not good. Your dad is a mess,” Luke said.
I pulled on some joggers, a T-shirt, and a hoodie. I grabbed my phone and my Adderall and dropped it in my backp
ack. I was going to need to be coherent today.
“Where’s Lennon?”
“He’s getting dressed and meeting us downstairs in ten minutes. See you down there,” Luke said as he answered his phone and stepped out in the hall.
We made it to Los Angeles in two hours and found Dad sitting beside Mom’s bed. He looked the way I felt. Like he couldn’t figure out what the fuck was going on. I stared at my mother, hooked up to tubes and machines, looking lifeless. Lennon dropped down on Mom’s bed and sobbed. I didn’t cry. For some reason I couldn’t access that emotion. I’d been through this before, with my brother. Maybe I’d lost my ability to feel the devastation of what was happening. Or maybe I didn’t want to believe another family member had numbed themselves into a fucking coma. That’s what we’d been told. She’d taken too many pills. Mixed all sorts of prescriptions and washed it all down with half a bottle of vodka. And she never woke up.
“She’s going to be fine, boys. We have the best doctors in the world working on her. This was a terrible accident.” My father met my gaze as the words left his mouth.
“A terrible accident?” I repeated his words.
“Yes.”
“We sure have a lot of those in our family, huh?” I said.
“What the fuck does that mean? This was an accident, Cruz. She’s going to be fine.” My father pushed to his feet and started to pace the length of the room.
The beeping in the background from the monitors irritated me. A reminder of where we were.
“By definition, an accident means that something occurs unintentionally. Popping a shit ton of pills is an intentional act,” I said, and my gaze locked with his.
He pointed his finger in my face. “I don’t want to hear your psycho-babble right now. Show some fucking respect.”
Respect? I didn’t have any for this man. He was the reason my mom was here. He was the reason Lennon had been here not so long ago.
Lennon gasped from where he sat on the bed as he stared at his phone screen. His words broke on a sob, “You motherfucker.”
I moved to my feet as my brother charged my father, slamming him up against the wall across from Mom’s bed. I scrambled to maneuver between them, shoving them apart. As much as I wanted to kick my father’s ass, this wasn’t the time or the place. It was also very unlike Lennon to stand up to my father, so I was on edge as I held my brother back while my father straightened his dress shirt.
“You fucking did this. You piece of shit,” Lennon spat. He shook his arms, breaking free of me and moved to the bed to grab his phone. He held the screen in front of my face. “He fucking cheated on her.”
Fuck me.
I did not see this coming. The only normal thing I’d ever had in my life—my parents actually loved one another. Almost obsessively. My mother gave up all her dreams to follow my father. Hell, she gave up being a mother to Lennon and me during our childhood, all to support this man. I’d never understood it. But now, we didn’t even have that? The final nail in the coffin for the world’s most fucked up family.
I didn’t charge him. Didn’t speak. There was nothing to say.
“We’re fine. It was a mistake. It’s already taken care of,” Dad said, dropping to sit in the chair beside Mom. He ran a hand down his face, and his hair was a rumpled mess.
For the first time in my life, he actually looked broken. He hadn’t been affected when Lennon overdosed and nearly died. But today, it was all catching up to him. And I was fucking glad. I wanted that motherfucker to feel what we all felt in the wake of his selfish, narcissistic behavior. He was a destructive prick and karma was a bitch, and she was paying him one hell of a visit.
“It’s taken care of. Meaning you paid off your whore and now everyone should just get over it? I don’t think anyone’s fine here, old man. This is anything but fine. Look at your fucking wife. She’s lying in a bed after trying to take her own life because the man she loves betrayed her,” I said.
I grabbed his chin between my thumb and my finger and yanked it in the direction of my mother. I wanted him to acknowledge what he’d done. To actually own something for one time in his miserable fucking life.
He didn’t push my hand away. He didn’t fight me at all. Instead he wept. His sobs vibrated off the walls, and I dropped my hand and stormed out of the room. Luke stood in the waiting room along with our security team of four men. Yeah, Exiled traveled with security now, which meant I never got a fucking minute to myself.
“Cruz, how is she?” Luke asked.
“Not good. No news. Has the story broke yet?” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets. Lennon had seen something on the internet, so I assumed it was out there now.
“Yeah, it’s still early so we have a few hours to get in front of it. We’ll have you and Lennon release a statement this afternoon and ask your fans to respect your privacy. But, honestly Cruz, your father’s a public figure and people love a cheating scandal, and with the band’s popularity right now, I think it’s going to be a social media nightmare,” Luke said, pausing to clear his throat.
A blur in my peripheral had me turning, and Jade rushed into my arms. I buried my head in her neck and took in her scent.
Sunshine and goodness.
“I got here as soon as I could.” She dropped her backpack on the chair beside us and studied me. I’d called her from the plane, but I’d told her not to come. Jade had a shit ton of tests this week, and she didn’t need to deal with my bullshit.
“I told you to stay at school. There’s nothing you can do here. She’s in a coma,” I said, wrapping my arms around her and kissing the top of her head.
“I want to be here for you.” She hugged me tighter.
Lennon stepped out in the lobby. “Cruz, the doctor’s in the room. Do you want to speak to him?”
“Yeah. I’m coming.” I kissed Jade on the forehead, and she dropped down to sit beside Luke.
Dr. Song proceeded to fill us in on all the unknowns. This wasn’t new for me. I’d heard all of this when Lennon was in the hospital; however, Lennon hadn’t been in a coma. There were a lot of factors that were unknown as my mother was currently not responsive. Injury to the brain can occur during overdose. He filled us in on hypoxic brain injury, which is a lack of oxygen to the brain, not uncommon after overdose. We wouldn’t know the extent of the damage until she was awake. The paramedics had administered Naxolene, which is used after an opioid overdose, in an attempt to revive her. Jesus Christ. This was my family. This was our norm now.
“Any way of knowing when she’ll wake up?” I asked.
“Unfortunately, it’s impossible to say. It could be hours, months or years,” Dr. Song said, flipping some papers on his clipboard and meeting my gaze.
“Unacceptable. We brought her here because you’re supposed to be the best. You’ve got to have a better answer than that. You need to fix her,” my father shouted, startling everyone in the room. He hadn’t heard a word Dr. Song had just said. The man was on send. He didn’t listen. He just demanded. And this time his money couldn’t fix the situation.
“Mr. Winslow, I understand your frustration. Unfortunately, there isn’t a doctor in the world who could tell you when your wife will wake up. We are doing everything on our end to make that happen, but it’s up to her now.”
“Didn’t you go to Harvard Medical School?” My father continued his tirade, pacing the room as he barked at the doctor.
“Yes, I did. And if you don’t feel comfortable with me as her physician, feel free to bring in someone else. I can only tell you what I know.” Dr. Song shook mine and my brother’s hands, before nodding at my father and exiting the room.
“You’re an asshole,” I said when it was just Dad, Lennon, and me. And my lifeless mother who was hanging on by a thread while her cheating husband berated everyone for trying to help her.
“She will get the best medical
care out there,” Dad said, his hands fisted at his sides as he stared out the window.
“Do you know who he had the affair with?” My brother’s voice was just above a whisper.
“Not now, Lennon.” My father huffed and moved back to his chair beside my mother.
“Does it matter? I don’t give a shit who she is.” I stared out the window. A little girl walked between a man and a woman, who I assumed were her parents. They each held one of her little hands and swung her between them. Her small feet barely touched the ground and her head fell back in a fit of giggles. I’d never walked like that with my parents. Couldn’t remember a time I’d ever held my father’s hand. Or giggled in his presence. Even as a little boy. He’d never been that guy.
“He’s been seeing Victoria Regate. He tried to end it and she decided to tell Mom.” My brother stared at my father with disgust as the words left his mouth.
I wasn’t hearing him correctly. He must mean Victoria’s mother, Lana Regate. “Victoria or Lana?”
“Victoria.” Lennon pushed to his feet and stormed over to stand beside me.
Victoria was the daughter of my father’s attorney and closest friend, David Regate. She and Lennon had dated on and off for a few years.
“What the fuck. What is she, twenty?” I stared at my father in disbelief.
“Nineteen,” Lennon said, his arms folded over his chest and absolute hatred poured from him.
“Enough. It was a mistake. Let’s call it my mid-life crisis.”
I shook my head. Unbelievable. “Your entire life has been a mid-life crisis. You’ve been seeing a teenager. Cheating on your wife and betraying your best friend. Not to mention your son used to date her. This is all kinds of fucked up. Even for you. The press is going to have a field day with this. She’s younger than Lennon and I. How could you do that to Mom? To David and Lana? Do you have no shame?”
“Trust me. I’m not proud of my actions. But I don’t need my sons judging me.” He stood and shoved his hands in his pockets.
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