I spent the next two hours on the phone with Jade. Hearing about her classes and her research. We talked about the incident with Tia, and though she was still hesitant with me, I knew she loved me. I knew we were going to be okay. I agreed to take it slow, though that went against every instinct I had. I wanted to fly her here. I wanted her with me now. I was an impatient bastard, and I needed to work on that if I wanted Jade to trust me again.
Shit was falling into place. I dropped down in a chair in the studio, meeting my replacement, Zach Balsecky, for the first time. He was a cool dude, but all I could think about was the fact that his last name sounded a hell of a lot like ball sack. The kid must have been brutalized growing up. I shook it off and focused on the obvious—transitioning out of Exiled and back into a normal life.
I’d dropped the ball on my classes, so I planned on taking the last two courses I needed this summer. I was hoping Jade would still spend the summer with me on tour, but since we were still technically ‘taking it slow’, I didn’t want to push her. We were back to talking a dozen times a day, and I would take what I could get right now.
“So, Zach’s going to make a few appearances this summer with you guys on stage. We’ll be planting the seed of him joining the band, but no one will know the capacity until we need them to,” Luke said, running a hand through his hair. The guy had aged a lot this past year, as Exiled had definitely had its ups and downs.
“So, you don’t write music then? You just sing?” Dex asked, sitting all high and mighty on a bar stool, like he owned the place.
Zach didn’t write music, which was the reason the label was hesitant to choose him. But the dude was talented as fuck in every other way. His voice was kickass, and he played both the electric guitar and the drums. He wrote music, not lyrics, and Luke thought that Zach and Lennon would work well together in that area. The label had agreed to let me continue to write for the band after I left, and I was open to that. Hell, I liked writing. Liked creating something. So why did Dex feel the need to fuck with the dude?
“I also play a mean electric guitar.” Zach smirked, and my head fell back with a laugh.
I already liked him. Dex was being an asshole and Zach wasn’t going to take his shit. He’d fit right in.
“I’ve seen you play Dude, and I’d say your vocals are your strong suit.” Dex raised one brow before slamming a beer.
“Ignore him. He’s the staple dickhead in the group. He’s never heard you play, because he doesn’t have the attention span to go online and check you out, and he hasn’t seen you live,” Adam said, rolling his eyes.
“Whatever, asshole. I’m just giving him shit. It’s part of the initiation. Please tell me you don’t have a girlfriend. If I have to deal with one more bandmate with a chick, I’m going to lose my shit. We’re on the road. We’re fucking rock stars. We’re supposed to be acting like it.” Dex stood and dropped his bottle in the trash.
“No girlfriend right now,” Zach said, studying Dex as he staggered across the room before his gaze locked with mine. “So, Cruz, you sure you’re ready to give all this up?”
“Yes.” I didn’t hesitate and everyone laughed.
“He was ready before we even started,” Lennon said.
“Okay. I hear ya. It’s not for everyone.”
“Whatever. Who wouldn’t want this? He’s a dumbass,” Dex said, glancing over at me. If I cared about the dude, it might bother me. But I didn’t. We’d long passed caring. He’s an asshole and I don’t care what he thinks of my decision. I care about making sure my brother and Adam are okay. I care about making this a smooth transition for Luke as well. He’s been there for me. They all have. Dex is here for himself. He’s a one-man show.
Tia came barreling through the door and deadpanned on Zach. “Sorry, I’m late. You the new guy?”
“You’re not late. You weren’t invited.” Luke rolled his eyes. Tia inserted herself in our business because she was our opening act and insisted it involved her. She knew everything that was going on because her sister and my brother were inseparable, and he couldn’t keep his goddamn mouth closed.
She laughed. “Shit rolls downhill, Luke. I need to prepare for it.”
I glanced at my brother and shot him a look. It was going to be difficult to keep this shit quiet, and Tia was a loose cannon.
“We’ve got this under control. Your job is to do your thing as our opening act, and keep your mouth closed about the changes to come,” Luke said.
“Have I opened my mouth once to anyone but you guys? No. So stop telling me to be quiet. Loose lips over here is the one who keeps dropping shit to the press.” She flung her thumb at Dex, before turning her attention back to Zach. “Well, you’re not as pretty as Cruzie boy is, but you’ve got that rocker edge thing going for you. I watched a few YouTube videos of your shows, and you’re pretty fucking talented. Dex should be scared. You jam on the electric guitar, dude. Phenomenal.”
Fucking Tia loved to drop a bomb on the room. She and I had gotten back to normal. I’d been pissed at her for a while after that bullshit stunt she pulled, but I got over it. She wasn’t into me, she was into her career.
“Oh, yeah. I’m really nervous. Dickhead over here is leaving, I think my job is pretty safe, but thanks for your concern,” Dex said with a laugh.
“It would suck for you if the new lead singer is a better electric guitar player than you, though, wouldn’t it?” She taunted. Jesus. Tia had bigger balls than most of the dudes I hung out with.
Dex moved, getting in her face. “It would suck for Exiled to drop your lame ass, wouldn’t it? There’s a million piece of shit bands dying to open for us, so I’d watch yourself.”
Tia held her chin up, and I swear she puffed her chest out. My God, I think this girl would go to blows with him if it came down to that. Adam, Lennon, and I all moved between them within seconds.
“Easy, tiger,” I said, wrapping my fingers around her bicep and walking her back a few steps. “Chill the fuck out.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, good talk. Zach, welcome to the band. I’ll see you later.”
Tia stormed out of the room and Zach was the first to speak, “That was hot. What a badass chick.”
We all laughed, with the exception of Dex. His arms were crossed over his chest and he dropped back down on his stool. Zach was going to fit in just fine. We spent the afternoon rehearsing together before he took off. We wouldn’t introduce him to our fans until a few weeks before my departure. He’d perform with us on stage this summer, and I could already tell it would be an easy transition.
“Promise me you won’t cut it too close. The label’s breathing down my back with all the changes coming up, Cruz,” Luke said, walking beside me to my waiting car.
“I give you my word, brother. I just need to see her.”
“Alright. See you tomorrow.” Luke clapped me on the shoulder before walking back into the hotel.
Ponch had agreed to fly me to Chicago to surprise Jade. I needed to see her. Touch her. It had been weeks and I couldn’t go another minute. Surprisingly, it wasn’t about sex. I didn’t expect anything. I knew she needed time, and I’d agreed to take it slow. Which I would still honor. But I wanted to see her.
Thankfully, Ari was a willing participant and always helped me pull off a surprise for Jade. She’d been a little icy to me at first, but after a dozen calls over the last two days, Jade’s best friend had warmed up to me. Jade and I were talking all day, every day, but she wasn’t expecting me to visit. Our tour schedule was tight, and she was starting finals this week. I’d spoken to her right before I got on the plane, and she didn’t have a clue I was coming. It would be a short visit, but I needed to know we were okay.
When I arrived on her doorstep, I texted Ari. She opened the door and laughed.
“You know you’re crazy, right? Flying all the way here for five hours,” she whispered
.
“I’ve been called worse. Where is she?”
“In her room studying. I hope she doesn’t kill me for this. You’re supposed to be taking it slow. So, you best work your magic, so I don’t get in trouble for helping you.” Ari continued to whisper on the front porch like we were conspiring to rob a bank.
I knew Jade wouldn’t be pissed that I came. She wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see her. She was just guarding her heart this time around, but she didn’t need to. I’d never hurt her again.
“You worry too much,” I said, walking past her and heading down the hall.
Jade’s door was closed. I knocked lightly.
“Come in,” she called out.
I opened the door. She sat in the middle of her bed, papers and books sprawled everywhere. Her hair was tied in a messy knot on top of her head with two pencils sticking out of the bun. She looked like a mad scientist, yet the sight of her almost dropped me to my knees. It had been too long. A knot lodged in the back of my throat, making it difficult to speak. She stared down at her book, assuming Ari had just walked in. Her head turned slightly, and when she caught sight of me, she gasped.
She was on her feet, bed bouncing and papers scattering everywhere. “What are you doing here?”
Before I could answer her, she lunged from the mattress into my arms. Her legs wrapped around my waist, and her face buried in the crook of my neck. Her warm breath tickled against my skin, and I breathed in all her goodness.
Sunshine.
Everything I’d missed.
She quickly slid down my body, like she’d come to her senses and realized she’d wrapped herself around me, now putting a little distance between us.
“It’s a short visit. Just a few hours. But I wanted to see you. Tell you to your face how much I love you, and how sorry I am about everything,” I said. I held her face in my hands, taking her in. Fuck, I’d missed her.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” She smiled.
“Listen, I know you want to take it slow. I’m not here for anything more than this.”
Her gaze locked with mine. “Yeah. I definitely think we need to take it slow.” She twirled the ring on her finger. A habit she always did when she was nervous. Hell, I was just happy she was still wearing it.
“I’m fine with that. I just wanted to see you.”
Her hands settled on my chest before they came around my middle and she hugged me.
“I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered.
“Yeah?” I leaned forward and grazed her lips with mine.
“I’m not sleeping with you. You know that, right? We’re taking this slow,” she said with a chuckle, but I didn’t miss the tremble in her voice.
I laughed against her mouth. “Is kissing you off the table?”
“Kissing is as far as it goes, Winslow.”
My mouth came over hers. Slow and gentle. My hand moved into her hair, tilting her head back for better access. She moaned into my mouth before cutting off our connection. She took a step back and tucked her hair behind her ears. Her face was flush, and she licked her lips and shook her head with a laugh.
“Okay, we’re not going to be taking it slow if we keep that up.”
“I missed you so fucking much, Jade.” My fingers interlaced with hers.
“I missed you too.”
I dropped to sit on her bed, and she settled on my lap. My arms came around her and it was the most content I’d felt in weeks.
“Is it okay that I came?”
“Yeah. I’m glad you’re here.”
“I know you have to study, and I didn’t come here to interrupt your life. So, if you need to work, I’ll just sit with you and write,” I said, running my fingers through her silky hair.
“I was just about to wrap things up and get some rest.” She pushed to her feet and started collecting all the papers on the bed.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Good,” I said, and for the first time in my life, I was nervous. I didn’t want to fuck things up again, so I wasn’t sure what to do.
She walked in the bathroom and washed her face and changed into her pajamas, while I leaned against the door frame and watched her. She turned around when she took her top off, and I laughed. As if I hadn’t seen her a million times. She was apprehensive with me, and as much as I hated it, I understood it. She stepped back in the bedroom and climbed into bed.
“We can sleep together without doing the deed,” she said, wriggling her brows.
I laughed. “The deed?”
Her head fell back, and she chuckled. “You know what I mean.”
I dropped my jeans and tugged my T-shirt over my head before slipping under the covers with her. She reached and turned off the light, and we both rolled on our sides and faced one another. Our legs were tangled up, as if they had a mind of their own.
“I thought about what we talked about. You know, about spending the summer together on tour.”
“Oh, yeah?” I held my breath as I waited for what she had to say.
“I want to go with you. Let’s just see how the next few weeks go, okay?”
All the air left my lungs. We were going to be okay. She was giving me a second chance.
“Thank fucking God,” I said, moving closer to her and wrapping my arm around her waist. I settled my forehead against hers.
She laughed, and I swear my fucking heart squeezed. “We just need to see how things go. But, I want it to work. You know that.”
“I’m happy to hear you say that.”
“I just want to make sure you’re okay. How do I know this won’t happen again?”
“It won’t. I was just going through a lot of shit. It’s not an excuse. I really thought I was doing what was best for you at the time.”
“Breaking my heart is never what’s best for me. And you broke it, Cruz. And I don’t know if I can trust you. It’s not that I don’t want to, I’m just nervous now, you know?”
I played with a long strand of hair that broke free from her knot. I twisted it around my finger. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I know you are,” she said.
“I’m going to make it up to you, baby.”
“I hope you do,” she said, and her eyes closed. I tucked her head beneath my chin, and her breathing lulled me to sleep.
I only had two hours until I had to be back at the hanger, and it was completely worth it to have this time with her.
It was going to take time, but Jade and I were going to figure this out.
Because I’d do whatever it took to win her back.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jade
“I’m going to the store as soon as it opens to buy as many copies of Rock the Band as I can,” I told Cruz, as I brushed my hair.
The phone was propped in the sink while I got ready. We’d only had five hours together, but they’d meant everything to me. And now I missed him even more. It had been a few days since he left, but it felt like forever.
“I’m curious to see the article. I think most of it is about the band, but she did interview me separately, and I ended up talking about you the whole time.” Cruz laughed. He was lying on his side in bed as he FaceTimed me.
“Oh, this should be interesting. Do you know if they used you on the cover or the band?” I asked.
“They ended up using a solo picture of me. They included a bunch of group shots on the inside. I’m sure that will piss off Dex, but I had no control over it. I would have preferred a shot of the band on the cover.”
“I can’t wait to see it. And it’s your birthday in seventeen hours. I can’t believe I’m not going to be with you,” I said, frowning into the phone.
Were we back together? Kind of. We were taking it slow, which basically meant we weren’t havin
g sex. Everything else had gone back to normal. We were talking all day, every day, and had picked up where we left off. The truth was—Cruz is my best friend. I’d missed him. Did I trust that he was out of the woods with his battle with alcohol and prescription drugs? No. But I wanted to. I believed we would get there.
“I don’t give a shit about my birthday, baby.”
“I do. Of course, I do. It’s just impossible to get away right now with finals coming up.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll get to see you the following weekend. I just want to spend time with you,” he said, pushing to sit up. My gaze locked on his abs as the camera was propped on his bed.
I whistled and he laughed.
He lifted the camera and walked to the bathroom. “You like what you see?”
“Always.” I wriggled my brows.
“You have class and research today, right?” he asked as he brushed his teeth.
“Yep. I should be done before you leave for the show. I’ll try to call you then. If not, we’ll talk right after. I’ll be your first call on your birthday, which means we need to talk at 12:01 tonight, or technically tomorrow morning.”
“Alright. I love you.”
“Love you more,” I said before I hung up the phone and grabbed my backpack.
I grabbed several copies of Rock the Band as soon as I got out of class and swooned over the cover on my walk to research. The picture was gorgeous—A closeup of Cruz’s bare chest and face. The tattoo script: more Jade on full display. He wasn’t smiling or posed, it was more of a smoldering gaze. Honey brown eyes that I swore could see into my soul were shimmering with pops of gold and orange. I studied every single inch before sending him a quick text. He had a busy day with meetings and rehearsals before the show.
Me ~ Oh my gosh. Have you seen it? It’s amazing. I love it so much! Can’t wait to read the article.
Cruz ~ Haven’t even seen it yet. Been in meetings all morning. Glad you like it, baby. Yours is the only opinion I care about.
Me ~ It’s perfect. Love you!
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