by S. E. Smith
April 12, 1919
I died today. I am so scared. I haven’t even had a chance to live and already my life is over. I came home late because of the rain. It took me longer than I expected. I should have stayed home. Maybe Momma and I wouldn’t have died if I had stayed home. The mud was so hard to walk through it took me longer than I expected to go to town and back. I wanted to let the Sheriff know about the threats James Butler had made last night. I knew something was wrong when the house was dark. Momma always had a light shining for me. I found Momma dead. James Butler had raped and beaten her. He said he was going to do to the same to me. I fought him and ran out the door. If only I could have gotten to the Peterson’s place. He caught me down by the river. I fought him off again but there was nowhere to run. He had me trapped. The river was swollen because of all the rain we were having. I’m so sorry Momma. I wish I could have saved you. I can’t let him do to me what he did to you. May god have mercy on my soul. I would rather face death than have his hands on me. He said I didn’t have a choice but I did. I chose the river.
May 23, 1919
Today would have been my eighteenth birthday. I don’t know where I’ve been for the last month. I know I died. I watched as they buried my beautiful Momma next to Da. At least they are together. I saw the volunteers looking for my body. I called and called to them but no one ever turned around. I knew I was dead when I tried to stop Mr. Peterson. My hand went right through him and I saw him shudder. It is strange to know you are dead and can do nothing about it. I feel so alone. Is this the price I must pay for taking my own life? Oh, Momma and Da, I miss you so much.
Oklahoma Press
Wednesday, April 12, 1919
Mother and Daughter Killed by Local Man
The body of a local woman, Maureen O’Donnell, was found beaten and strangled to death. Her daughter, Lily O’Donnell, has not been found but is presumed dead. Lily O’Donnell had gone to the local sheriff complaining of threats made by James Butler, a local farmer. It is suspected Butler killed the mother before attacking the daughter and tossing her body in the local river swollen from the recent rains. Law enforcement officials have arrested Butler after he confessed during a drunken rage. Volunteers continue to search the river for Ms. O’Donnell’s body. Burial for her mother will be at the Oak Grove Cemetery in the year of our Lord, April 25, 1919 at 2:00 p.m.
Ethan’s hands and voice were shaking so bad he had to stop. He looked at the obituary and newspaper article Lily had placed in the journal. He lifted tortured eyes to his brothers as he handed it to them.
“Is it possible?” Allen asked shakily. “This is crazy.”
Caleb didn’t say anything he still held the picture of Lily with her parents. The girl in the picture could have been Lily’s twin.
“There’s more.” Ethan said quietly. Ethan read entry after entry recorded for almost a hundred years. Lily talked about how there were times she just seemed to float through years without really existing. She knew everything that was going on, she was just more of an observer than a participant. It seemed only when someone called out for help that she existed in the physical plane. Each time, once the person or family had been helped she would ‘die’ again. She had appeared this time when she heard Maggie’s call for help. Her last entry was dated Thanksgiving morning.
November 24, 2010
I spent the day yesterday with Helen. I was so confused and needed someone to talk too. I have never felt the way I do about anyone the way I do about Ethan, Caleb, and Allen. It hurt so much them not talking to me. I didn’t know what to do. I love them with all my heart but I know I won’t be here much longer. Already they are healing and won’t need me. I shouldn’t let them fall in love with me knowing our time will be so short. I remember the pain of losing Momma and Da. I can’t imagine surviving the lost of someone who is the other half of me. Allen told me he loved me. What will happen when I ‘die’ again? I have no control over it. I needed help and Helen gave me so much more. She made me realize there were no guarantees in life and I should grab what I can and hold on to it as long as I can. It was funny all the things I was supposed to help Ethan, Caleb, and Allen with were things I had problems with as well. Ethan had trouble enjoying the simple things in life. He was always so worried about everyone else he forgot about himself. I realized I had done the same thing. Before, I worried about Momma, then all the other families I had to help. I’ve decided if I am to help Ethan than I had to realize I needed to help myself. I plan on grabbing hold of life and living it to the fullest every day I am given with my men. Like Caleb, I bottled up my emotions, holding them inside me where they ate away at me. Never again will I hold back. Last night I let my men know I loved them with everything I was. I wanted to scream to the world I loved them all. My last challenge was Allen. My beloved Allen. Like him, I had given up on life. He showed me how much I had to live for. His love broke the wall I had surrounded myself with. For the first time, I want to fight to have a life. To love and be loved. Momma, I wish I could tell you I have found a love like you had with Da. I love my men so very much. If I am given a short time with them so be it. I would rather have had the chance to love them than to have never loved at all. Your faithful daughter, Lily.
Ethan closed the journal. All three of them sat quietly reflecting on what they had just discovered. They had learned things about Lily they had never expected. Ethan ran his hands over the cover.
Chapter 12
Lily had woken as Ethan had begun reading some of her newer entries. She knew they had her journal. A single tear tracked down the side of her face as she listened to her struggle and subsequent discovery of accepting her unconditional love for them. Would they feel the same now they knew what she was? Who she was? Would they want to be with her knowing her time with them would be short? A second tear slid down her cheek then another and another until uncontrollable sobs shook her fragile body. Her grief could no longer be contained and she sobbed out all her years of loneliness, pain, and fear.
Strong arms wrapped themselves around her shaking shoulders. Lily felt Caleb’s arms as they held her close to his chest. She turned her face into his soft shirt absorbing his strength.
“Hush, Lily. It will be all right, baby. You’ll see. It will be alright.” Caleb said as he ran his hands over her hair.
Lily felt the bed dip next to her and felt more hands on her. Running over her hair, her shoulders, her arms. Turning tear-filled eyes toward the three men sitting on the bed next to her, Lily whispered softly. “I love you all so much.”
“Lily, it doesn’t change anything. You’re still ours.” Ethan said quietly.
“We love you, Lily. No matter what, we love you.” Allen said gently.
Lily turned to look up at Caleb. “Caleb?” Lily looked up uncertainly at Caleb.
“I love you, Lily. Always.” Caleb’s arms tightened around Lily and he buried his face in her hair. He shuddered. “I thought we had lost you.”
“I did too for a little while.” Lily said softly. “What happened? I don’t remember very much after I fell through the ice.” She shivered again. She didn’t know if she would ever feel warm again.
“Allen and I had made it to the other side of the bridge. We were going to attack the man who took you from both sides right before he drove off it. When we saw your body falling from the bridge…,” Caleb stopped and took a deep breath, “we should beat your ass for that little stunt.”
“Who took you, Lily? Did you know him?” Allen asked. “I couldn’t get a good look at him.”
Lily shook her head. She was about to answer when a soft knock sounded on the door. Ethan got up and opened it. Matt stood outside the door. “Is she awake?” He asked quietly. Ethan nodded and opened the door further.
“Lily, this is Matt Holden, he’s the sheriff for Boulder Flats.” Ethan said. “He needs to ask you some questions.”
Lily held the Sheriff’s gaze for a moment before nodding. “Okay.” She couldn’t help searching for Allen
’s and Caleb’s hands. She needed them close. She watched as Ethan walked over to the chair by the window and casually slid the journal out of view.
“Lily, can you tell us anything about the man who abducted you?” Matt asked.
Lily shook her head. “I don’t know who he was. I had gone to check out the house Allen, Ethan, and Caleb had grown up in while they checked on the barn. When I went into the kitchen he came up behind me. He hit me with something and I don’t remember anything more until I woke up in his car.”
Allen moved to sit on the bed so he could pull Lily into his arms. He hated how she had started shaking again. “It’s okay, Lily. Just tell us what you remember.”
Lily took a deep breath and sank back against Allen. “He said he wanted something but I didn’t understand what he meant.” Lifting her hand to the side of her face, she touched her bruised cheek, “He hit me. He said he was going to hurt me and anyone I loved if I didn’t help him.” Lily’s eyes filled with tears as she remembered the look on the man’s face. “I didn’t say anything else. I was so afraid. He was insane. I knew I had to get away from him. When I saw the bridge I knew he would have to slow down. I thought if I could jump from the bridge he wouldn’t be able to get me. It didn’t look as high as it was. Then the ice broke and I couldn’t get out. I don’t remember anything else. I’m sorry.” Lily closed her eyes, exhausted.
Caleb stood up and brushed a gentle kiss across Lily’s forehead. “That’s enough, Matt. Lily’s exhausted and needs to rest. You can ask more questions later if you need too.”
Matt nodded and picked up his hat, walking toward the door with Ethan he turned at the last minute, “I’ve posted a man here at the hospital to keep an eye on Lily. I know you three won’t be leaving her side any time soon, so I feel better. Ethan, if you have a moment I’d like to talk to you out in the hall.”
Ethan nodded and looked at his brothers. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Both men nodded. Allen was gently laying Lily back down. She had already fallen back asleep.
Matt waited until the door closed before turning to look at Ethan carefully.
“What is it? I don’t like being away from her right now for very long.” Ethan said impatiently.
“A funny thing happened when I did a search on Lily’s name.” Matt began.
Ethan looked sharply at Matt. “How could you do that without knowing her last name?”
“Helen told me. I don’t think she realized you and your brothers didn’t know it. I saw her last night when I went out to check on the evidence Trace and Brent had found.” Matt shifted nervously from one foot to the other.
Ethan braced himself. “What did you find?”
“Nothing much at the house. Whoever it was they had standard camping gear. We haven’t been able to pull any prints. With the cold weather the bastard probably wore gloves. We are checking to see where the equipment was purchased to see if we can trace it through a purchase receipt or if a store employee remembers him.” Matt looked hard at Ethan before continuing, “What do you know about Lily?”
Ethan’s mouth tightened, “My brothers and I know everything we need to know about her. Why?”
“I told you a strange thing happened when I put her name through the system. Seems there have been a number of strange disappearances concerning a girl with her name.”
“What does that have to do with Lily?” Ethan asked impatiently not liking where this was leading.
Matt ran his hand through his hair, looking at the closed door before answering. “This is going to sound crazy, Ethan, I thought I was going nuts at first but after looking at the girl in that room and looking at the photos I have in my office I know I’m not. I just don’t know how it’s possible.”
Ethan put his hand on Matt’s arm. “Does it matter who she is? All I know is she is here now and Caleb, Allen, and I are going to do whatever we can to make sure she stays here with us. You don’t have to understand it anymore than we do, just accept she means everything to us and help us catch the bastard who almost killed her.” Matt studied Ethan’s face for a moment before letting out a relieved sigh. He really didn’t want to have to express his findings out loud. Ethan was right. Nothing mattered but keeping Lily safe.
Nodding his acceptance, Matt squeezed Ethan’s arm. “We’ll catch the bastard and keep Lily safe. She is a part of our community. We protect our own.”
Ethan smiled his gratitude before turning to go back into the room with Lily and his brothers. “Thanks, Matt.”
Chapter 13
Lily was released from the hospital two days later. The men had been adamant she let them carry her everywhere. Her hip and leg still hurt so it was difficult for her to walk without assistance. Once home, Allen wanted to carry her upstairs but she begged them to let her lay on the couch. She was tired of being cooped up in a small room although the master bedroom could in no way be described as small. Ed, Clive, Brad, and Harold all welcomed her home. Clive told her Helen was going to come over later to visit. Right now, Lily was snuggled up under the quilt Caleb had tucked around her and staring at the fire Ethan had built in the fireplace. Allen had brought her some of the books she had set aside in the den she had been planning on reading. He sat at the end of the couch with her feet on his lap and picked up a book.
“Guess it’s my turn to read to you.” Allen said with a grin. He was rubbing Lily’s feet and she let out a contented sigh. She wanted to feel him rubbing her in other places. She slid one foot over his crotch smiling when she felt his body jerk and his cock grow under it.
“Behave, Lily.” Allen said huskily, his eyes growing darker with desire. “You need to rest and heal before we make love to you again.”
Lily’s lower lip poked out in a pout. “I want you, Allen.”
“I want you too, honey.” Allen said tenderly. “Soon.”
The days passed quickly. The men always made sure at least one of them stayed with her. Helen came over almost daily and her and Lily’s friendship grew even deeper. For the first time, Lily felt like she could be herself. Helen had confided she had read Lily’s journal before she had given it to Ethan. She asked Lily questions and Lily answered them as best she could. A week after Lily came home she and Helen decided to make Christmas cookies for all the ranch hands. Caleb was sitting at the table eating some of them. He said he was the official taste-tester to make sure they were edible.
“Lily, can I ask you a question that has been bugging me?” Helen said as she placed more cookie dough on the cookie sheet.
“Sure.” Lily said reaching for the oven mitts.
“How old are you?” Helen inquired.
Lily paused as she took another batch of cookies out of the oven. Turning she looked under her eyelashes at Caleb. He had a cookie half way to his mouth. His eyes jumped to Lily.
Lily blushed trying to think of how to answer the question. “I’m almost eighteen if you go by the age I died.” She looked nervously at Caleb before adding, “But, if you calculate it from the year I was born I’m one hundred and nine.”
“You were only seventeen when you died?” Caleb choked out turning pale.
“I was a month away from my eighteenth birthday.” Lily insisted. “Many of the girls who were my age had already married and had children. Why, James Butler asked for my hand when I was fifteen.”
Caleb stood up and walked toward Lily menacingly, “You are only seventeen?” He seemed to stress each word.
Lily looked pleadingly at Helen, “No, not if you look at the year I was born. I might look seventeen but I’m not technically. It really doesn’t matter. I mean. If you really want to look at it I’m older than all of you. Isn’t that right, Helen?”
Helen choked back a laugh. “I think I’ll go see if Clive would mind going with me to drop a batch of these cookies off.”
“Traitor!” Lily called desperately at Helen’s retreating back. Looking at Caleb who looked like he was about to have a stroke from the color of his face, Lily reached out her
hands beseechingly, “Caleb, it doesn’t matter.”
“Like hell it doesn’t matter. Shit, Lily. You would be jailbait.” Caleb ran his hands through his short hair pacing back and forth. “Shit!”
Allen and Ethan were coming it the back door when they heard Caleb’s loud expletive.
“What’s wrong?” Allen asked looking back and forth between Lily’s pleading eyes and Caleb’s pale face.
“Wrong? Wrong?” Caleb shouted. “I’ll tell you what’s fucking wrong. Lily’s only seventeen. That’s what’s fucking wrong. What we did to her was what is fucking wrong.”
Lily drew back as if Caleb had hit her. Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over as she stared at him.
“You regret making love to me?” Lily asked in a strangled voice. Caleb just turned and stared at her silently.