by Cee, DW
“How about a Disney princess puzzle?” Ali nodded her head and laughed and laughed. It was freaky how much she loved these made-up characters, already. “With your beautiful red hair, you could look like Ariel one day.”
Jackie picked up the Ariel puzzle piece and Ali proceeded to slobber all over it.
“You accept my apology?” I watched grandma and grandchild play. “You do understand it was Mar who broke up with me? She called me and told me we were done. That doesn’t feel as if I really broke your daughter’s heart.”
Now I got a scary look from Jackie. “After having known Mar since birth, did it not seem out of character for her to call you and end everything you two had?—a relationship, a friendship. Did it not also seem odd that she did this the summer she came home and saw you and Melody together in her bedroom?”
“No way, Jackie. Don’t go there. Nothing happened with Mel. I never, ever, ever cheated on Mar!”
“Maybe not physically, but emotionally, you already belonged to her little sister. You two were best friends since you could talk. She knew you better than anyone. She could read what was happening between you and Mel. She wanted to save you and herself heartache from the inevitable.”
“How could Mar have known? I didn’t even know.” Now I felt like a world-class dick. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. You know I loved her—as deeply as a teenager could love.”
“I know, Ben. Let’s forget this conversation ever happened. If you had no idea how hurt Mar was when you and Mel finally had the guts to tell her you were dating, I suppose my daughter didn’t want you to know. It was an asshole move to lead her to believe that you two got engaged after only dating for three months.”
“Damn, Jackie. You’re pouring hot sauce over an open wound.”
Jackie bellowed a loud, “HA!” which startled Ali and had her staring at her grandma. Because Jackie started laughing, Ali followed, though my little girl had no idea that her grandma’s laughter was a cynical, slightly scary one.
“Don’t you tell me about an open wound when my daughter suffered through many over the course of your entire courtship and marriage. You, Ben Howard, have knowingly and unknowingly turned my daughter’s open wound into a blistered, festered, untreatable infection. There are no antibiotics out there for Marni.”
“Jackie...what the hell have I done so wrong? You have to tell me everything so I can make it right. There’s no way in hell I’ve wronged Marni to the point of disgust I hear in your voice. Please tell me.” How had I lived life this long and not known I’d done so much damage to one person—a person I considered a true friend.
“Just know that Noah is good for my daughter. If she wants to marry him, I hope you won’t stop her.”
“But what about Ali…and me?” I whispered. “What would we do without Mar?”
“I don’t know, Ben. As much as I love Ali, I love my daughter more. There’s nothing a divorced mother wants more than seeing her daughter happily married to a man who will be true to her and only her. Everyone else in life is secondary to your child. You already understand that, don’t you?”
I understood. Because I understood this idea so well, I would do everything in my power to keep Marni with us so Ali could have an aunt who would love her unconditionally. For me too, my daughter’s well-being came before Jackie’s daughter’s well-being.
Chapter 7 Marni (Past)
Unconditionally ~Katy Perry
“It’s always so much easier to move at this time of day.”
“You sound like an old lady, Marni. What’s wrong with walking the Trastevere neighborhood mid-day?”
“Syl, you yourself complained that it’s too hot to walk anywhere midday. It’s easier when the sun starts setting.”
We were almost at the end of our semester and since classes had wrapped up last week, every day was a fun day. Sylvia and I decided to visit every rione, or neighborhood, in city-center Rome; today was our final day of playing tourist. Gone were the chilly spring days, replaced by the heat and humidity of summer. Regardless of the weather, Sylvia and I were determined.
“Is Noah joining us today?”
“He is. His mom and stepdad are here from New York. He went to meet them for breakfast and he’s meeting us at Piazza Santa Maria in a few minutes.”
“What are you going to do about Noah?...and Ben?...and your sister?...”
“What’s there to do? Noah and I are friends. Ben and I are done, and my sister and I will forever be sisters.”
“But Noah is in love with you.”
“I think love is a strong word. He likes me. I like him, though not as much as he likes me—end of story.”
“You do like him?” I didn’t know why Sylvia was so surprised. She, Noah and I hung out together all the time. She must have seen some interest on my part.
“Yeah. Something wrong with that?”
“Nope.” She smiled weird.
“Your expression is giving me the heebie-jeebies. Don’t get any funny ideas.”
“Uh-huh. Whatever.” That look was still there. “Your friend is walking toward us with his own special expression just for you.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head at this friend who was going to give me a hard time today. I didn’t have to ask. Her brain was scheming.
“Hello Pretty Ladies,” Noah greeted us with his usual charm.
“Hey,” Sylvia and I spoke simultaneously.
“What’s the plan for today?”
“Hadn’t we decided to hang out in Trastevere?” I asked.
“I actually have to go meet with my school group in fifteen minutes. How about we catch up later in the day?” I glared at my roommate.
I knew what she was doing and I didn’t want her to go through with it. Today was our final day of fun before we all hopped on a plane and left for school. Not only did I want to spend time with Sylvia, but I also didn’t want her to lounge around on her last day, doing nothing.
“You never mentioned this.” I accused.
“I forgot until now. Something about seeing Noah reminded me. Bye.” Sylvia ran off without giving us a chance to change her mind.
“That was abrupt.” Noah paid regard to the back of her figure disappearing into the open-air market. “I guess it’s just the two of us. Where would you like to go?”
“I thought I wanted to hang out in Trastevere, but I think I want to go around and see all the famous sights one last time before we head home.”
“Come with me, then.” Noah held my hand to a shop where they rented out Vespas. “Have you ever ridden before?” I shook my head no. “Then, how about we get a two-person moped and I chauffeur you everywhere?”
“Sounds like a plan, but I thought we might talk about a few things before we start the day?”
Since Noah had gone on his date with his ex, he’d been distant. Though it had been only a few weeks, there were aspects of him—intangible, unapproachable undercurrents—that had changed. Seeing as how we weren’t a couple and I hadn’t declared my feelings, I had no right to expect anything from him. Regardless, it bothered me that his attention was elsewhere.
“What’s on your mind?” His guilty, I-wish-I-wasn’t-here, demeanor hurt. My heart felt a physical ache and I placed a helmet over my head before he could tell there were tears in my eyes.
I shook my head to explain I had changed my mind. Walking to the Vespa, I kept the hurt to myself and tried to enjoy the day.
We hopped on the scooter as though we’d been doing this the past four months and headed to the Spanish Steps. The ride was just long enough to dry the tears.
“Stay here.” Noah led me all the way to the top of the Spanish Steps and told me to stay put like a dog. The frown on my face must have explained I didn’t like this command. “Please, stay here? I want to go get something for us.”
I nodded and decided to change my attitude. There were no reasons to be heartbroken. Noah and I were only friends. If his ex became his girlfriend, I could regret my inaction,
but not complain.
While Noah was gone, I looked around at all the tourists who were walking up and down the steps, taking pictures from all angles. This famous place wasn’t too crowded yet, but there were plenty of locals strolling about the shops.
It was when I was mesmerized with a set of siblings, running up and down the steps that Noah came back to me with two giant waffle cones in hand.
“Noah Bergstrom. That’s a ridiculously big cone. Why’d you buy two when we could have shared one?”
Noah looked surprised. “You would have done that with me?”
“Done what?”
“Shared a gelato cone?”
“Do you have cooties or something? Why couldn’t we share a cone?”
“I thought you might be upset with me. Plus, it seemed a little intimate…” Noah’s cheeks were a little flushed and I couldn’t help laughing.
“Why would I be upset with you?” I asked as if I didn’t know. “As for the intimacy, it’s not as if we’re sharing a bed. As long as you don’t give me the cooties, or worse yet, mono, I’m good with sharing gelato with you. Next time...” I spoke, but wondered if there would be a next time.
Because I was now red in the face, I dug into my dessert with gusto.
“You wanna trade?” he asked after a few minutes. “You actually took the flavors I was going to eat.” He sounded so self-conscious about sharing gelato with me. Perhaps I wasn’t wrong thinking this was going to be our last gelato outing.
“Sure.” I handed him my cone and dipped from his occasionally. “How come you got the better flavors?” I accused.
“What do you mean?”
“Your waffle cone is filled with straciatella, Nutella, and dulce de leche. Mine has mango, orange, and coconut.”
“Yeah, so?”
“I don’t like fruit flavored gelato.”
He looked at me as if I had just come out of the mental ward. “First of all, coconut is not a fruit. And secondly, why the hell do you eat blood orange gelato every day with your dinner if you don’t like fruit flavored gelato?”
“Because there are no other choices. It’s that or panna cotta that tastes like thick vanilla. And coconut, too, is a fruit.” I gave that lame argument.
“It’s a nut, you nut. There are no seeds in a coconut.” As soon as he was done with his botany lesson, he swapped cones without another word.
“That’s it?”
He gave me that are you mental glance again. “Is there another problem, Ms. Montgomery? What can I do to make your life easier, now?”
“You’re just giving me what I want without a fight?”
“If you haven’t figured it out by now, Marni, I’m that kind of guy.”
I watched him eat his dessert without a complaint and affirmed, “You are that kind of guy—generous and unconditional.”
He grinned, but frowned soon after. “I have a confession.”
I didn’t want to hear this. The last thing I needed was another broken heart. During this trip, I saw myself falling for Noah. If he told me he was getting together with that gorgeous Italian woman, my self-esteem would die from another blow.
“Go ahead,” I had no choice but to give him permission to break my heart.
“Remember how I told you that Siena was my ex?”
Oh God… “Yes.”
“Well, when we hung out, she told me she wanted us to start dating again.”
And there it was. Heartbreak. Pain. Feelings of betrayal. “And?” I tried damn hard to blink back tears.
“Shit. Are you crying?” Noah grabbed the napkins from his pocket and dabbed at the sprinkles. “Do you actually care that Siena wants to get back with me? You like me? You do like me! We have a future together? This is fantastic. This is what I’ve been waiting for. Why haven’t you told me?” He was off on all kinds of tangents. “Talk to me.”
“What’s there to say?” Somehow, I forced back the tears and went back to the security of paying attention to my dessert.
“Tell me how you truly feel.”
At the first sign of being humiliated, I decided to be honest for a change. “I like you. I always have. There will always be a part of me that loves Ben, but it’s now more of a familial love. There can be no other love for my future brother-in-law.”
“Now that we’ve gotten Ben out of the way, could you talk only about me?”
“This trip has opened my eyes to the possibility of us. It makes me happy to think there might be an us.” I slowed my speech. To reveal everything to a man who was telling me about getting together with his ex was not in my best interest. “Since your interest lies with a beautiful Italian, I’ll stop here and tell you that I won’t necessarily be happy you’re with Siena, but I hope we can stay friends.”
At this point, I couldn’t help crying. I cried more out of frustration for losing a good man because I pined over a man who would never, ever, be mine again. A man who stopped loving me years ago, a man who was completely lost to me, even if he and my sister chose not to marry.
“Hey.” Noah placed his arm around me. “Let me start by saying I feel foolish for having been tempted by Siena. She’s always had a way of being my compass—her direction was always my direction.”
“She is beautiful, vivacious, and incredibly captivating. She seems like the type everyone wants to befriend.”
“She is, no doubt. But truth be told, I’d prefer to be your friend, your only special friend if you’ll accept me.”
Before answering his question, I wanted to be sure of his question. “Are you asking to be together with me, exclusively?”
He nodded his head. “That’s what I’d like. What do you want, Marni Montgomery?”
“Are you sure?”
Noah laughed. “Am I sure I want to be with you?” I nodded. “Yes! Now do you want to be with me?” I nodded again. “In the most roundabout way, we’ve declared we are together. Let’s start our official date with visiting the rest of Rome’s landmarks.”
Just like the Vespa ride, we behaved as if we’d been dating a lifetime. The easy conversation, the intimate body language, the comforting touches—we fell into place without any need for instruction. Because of our ready-friendship, a relationship was a most natural progression.
Our next stop on this Roman tour was the Trevi Fountain. We threw in our obligatory coin with a wish and browsed the neighboring shops. Neither of us had anything in particular to buy. This just seemed the perfect way to spend the last day in Rome.
“Would you wear this if I bought it?”
Noah picked out a delicate gold chain with the word “Rome” in the center. Usually, these types of necklaces screamed cheesy, but this one was dainty and fragile looking—something you might find at Tiffany & Co. The Italian soccer jerseys and copious magnets proved without a doubt that we were in a tourist trap. The necklace, though, was something out of Via Condotti.
“Uh, if it’s not too expensive.”
“You’re worth every euro.”
My head tilted slightly and I reassessed what Noah had just said. Was I really worth every euro, dollar, pound, yen…to somebody? Anybody? After losing Ben to my sister, I wasn’t convinced this statement was true, even with Noah.
“Thank you,” I whispered when Noah placed the delicate necklace on me and led me to our next destination.
“Lunch with my parents who are both in Rome and dying to meet you, or lunch just the two of us?”
“Your mom and dad are here? It’s not your stepdad?”
“Cecily Hanover, aka Mom, and Admiral Elijah Bergstrom, aka Dad, are waiting for us at a restaurant not far from here. They would love to meet you, but it’s not a must. Don’t feel pressured to do anything that doesn’t work for you.”
“Will I meet Carson Hanover, aka Stepdad, as well?”
“Cute.” Noah tousled my hair and kissed my cheek. “Carson’s in Paris right now. You can meet him if you’ll forget your sister’s wedding and fly to Paris with me after school is d
one.”
“Cute.” I gave Noah the same treatment with hair and cheek.
The quick scooter ride to lunch did awful things for my curly red hair. The helmet made my hair flat up top and even curlier on the bottom.
“Great,” I groaned, knowing how badly my hair looked even with the absence of a mirror.
“You’re beautiful, Marni. Mom and Dad will love you regardless of your frizzed-out hair.”
“Ugh!” I yelled unattractively right before I saw a beautiful red-haired woman stand to greet us. “Damn, this can’t be happening. First the hair, now the howl. Just take me back to the dormitory and let me shove my head under the pillow,” I bemoaned a whisper.
“Come on.” Noah laughed at my faux pas. He held my hand and weaved us through the sidewalk tables, toward his parents.
“Noah!” Cecily Bergstrom Hanover greeted her son as any mother who hadn’t seen her child in four months would. She was strikingly beautiful, reminding me of an Upper Westside New York socialite.
“Marni, I assume?” Admiral Elijah Bergstrom asked while giving me a paternal embrace. The Admiral was striking in his own way. He was a tall, Pierce Brosnan look-a-like. Noah favored his mom in coloring, but his dad in looks. Only now did I notice how good-looking Noah Bergstrom was.
“Where’s my hug?” Cecily Hanover’s personality was as attractive as her looks. Between the parents, I felt underdressed and unattractive.
“What have you done since we last saw you, Son?”
Noah smiled at his mom and told her all the touristy sights we’d visited. “I also bought Marni a little gift to remind us of Rome.”
“Let’s see.”
The necklace I pulled out received a delightful smile from both adults sitting across from us.
“Good choice, Son.”
“Thank you, Mother.” Noah’s look of joy was identical to his mom’s. The three of them made a beautiful family.
“Have you had a good time in Italy, Marni?”
“Oh, definitely, Admiral Bergstrom. Studying in a city filled with so much history and culture has been a dream fulfilled. I hope one day, I can return to this magical place.”