I blamed me.
“It’s not safe for you to be away from the compound, now more than ever,” she said.
She was holding something back. None of this made sense, why the guards, why Wren had needed the protection of the Curtis Corporation to begin with. It wasn’t just my vision that had convinced her to send Wren away, was it? There was something more.
I remembered what Curtis had said.
“Who is Charlize Geard?” I asked. I’d spoken with her, but I had no idea what her company was about. That minor detail had been missing from our conversation.
Mom froze, her back straight, her shoulders rigid. What had she been hiding from me?
“She runs a private company,” she said.
I knew that much from my conversation with the woman. “And?” I prompted.
Mom gave me a sad smile. “And she, like others, are desperate to gain an edge on their competition. She’s after money and power, and an oracle could help her get those things. Your father and I tried to keep it quiet, but word got out about your and Wren’s abilities.”
I stared at her, trying to read between the lines. “So, what does that mean exactly?”
“It means we’ve been fielding calls from powerful packs and shifter corporations alike, all of them trying to bring you, or Wren, into their organizations. We’ve been putting them off for so long, though, that I fear they’re going to try to take you rather than coax you to them.” Her voice got tight with emotion. “That’s what we think happened to Wren. Why we sent her away, and why that...why that didn’t work.”
I shook my head. “No. This isn’t—I don’t—why is this the first I’m hearing of it?”
“We didn’t want to alarm you or Wren. You’ve been so happy here, living your carefree lies—”
“Happy?” I burst out. “You think I’ve been happy here?”
“Happier than you’d be out there, used and manipulated to serve some billionaire shifter’s business. You think some cold bitch like Charlize Geard cares about you?”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but I held my face a mask.
“You should have told me,” I said. My voice was cold, but I didn’t care. I’d been blaming myself for my sister’s disappearance, for her death. But I’d never had all of the information, only a vague flash of my sister’s fear, of pain if she stayed. Maybe if I’d known, I could have interpreted the vision better. Maybe none of this would have happened.
“We did what we believed was best, to protect you and Wren.”
“Get out,” I whispered. “Please, just go.”
She stood from the bed and turned to the door. I didn’t stop her.
Instead I grabbed my phone and called Mack.
“Sparrow, where the hell are you? You didn’t show up for your shift last night and—”
“My sister’s missing,” I said. “They say she’s dead.”
More than ever I didn’t believe it was possible. I’d Seen Wren just a few moments ago—shouldn’t that mean she was alive? Or were my visions wrong? Still, the fact remained that she was missing, and that wasn’t good news.
His gruff voice took on a softer tone. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Thanks.”
“Do you need more time off?” he asked. “You should take what you need. I’ll get Ian to cover, and I can pick up whatever slack. You need anything, you let me know.”
“Thanks, Mack.”
I hung up the phone and heard the front door of my cottage open and close. My mother had stayed to listen to my conversation—helicopter parenting at its finest. I tried to summon some more rage, but the truth was, I was too fucking tired.
I stared at the glowing screen in my palm. There staring back at me was a number I didn’t recognize, an incoming call from a few days ago. I remembered the man who’d called me and put me on hold, and the job offer that I’d declined. I had the means to reach Charlize Geard. I had someone to call who could give me answers, someone to blame for my sister’s disappearance other than myself.
Chapter Ten
First thing I’d done when I’d gotten off the phone with Mack was try to reach Charlize Geard. When no one answered, I’d showered and finally called Eveline back.
No matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t escape my feelings of anxiety and dread. Eveline was at my side, her curly brown hair bouncing in its ponytail. I was panting and gasping, and she was running like she could go for another hour or two. The river ran alongside us, and the air felt heavier and smelled sweeter.
My side hurt like a bitch and I could barely pull in enough breath to smell the air. Finally I slowed, clutching my side. “I can’t.”
Eveline slowed and turned to face me, jogging in place. “You said you wanted me to kick your ass with the running.”
“Mission—accomplished,” I gasped.
She gave me a withering glare. “I thought you run all the time.”
“Not like you, I guess,” I said. Stupid shifters and their stupid metabolisms and energy and superiority in every fucking thing.
She cocked her head as she bounced in place, staring at me, totally unaffected by my negative attitude. “Do you want me to make you keep going?”
Her sympathy hurt almost as much as my thighs. I was a horrible friend, and I wasn’t treating her well.
“No, please,” I said. “Thanks for bringing me out here, but I should probably be alone for a bit. You go on ahead, I’ll walk the rest of the way back.”
She looked behind me and made eye contact with my two guards for the morning. I hadn’t checked in with them, didn’t know who was on duty right now, but I was sure they were there.
Eveline pulled me into a half-hug and then took off down the path, going even faster than before. I hadn’t known it was possible. I wanted to stick my tongue out at her retreating back, but I couldn’t muster up the energy.
Once I reached the river path leading back to my place, I slowed down even more so I could watch the water.
As the current rushed past, a fine mist whipped upward and cooled my legs. There was something peaceful about the movement, the rhythm of the water. It wasn’t just the gentle sound, or the way it wore down everything in its path. Being here was like being lost in the heat of music, in bodies moving, in the fact that the river was just passing through. The water wasn’t trapped here. It was free, free to go.
I wished I was, too.
I wished I could find Wren.
The guys seemed hurt by my new distance, but I didn’t know how to bring myself back. I wanted the comfort of their arms more than anything.
I just didn’t deserve it.
I started jogging again, trying to escape the thoughts in my head.
As I rounded the curve leading back toward my cottage, a familiar form in blue running shorts approached, arms swinging. Zak. His chest was bare, his abs beautifully defined. The red scruff on his face was a little longer than it had been, and his auburn hair curled around his ears. Seeing him here, I was reminded of what we’d done the last time he’d found me running by the river. He sped to catch up with me, then turned around so that he ran at my side.
“Sparrow, you can’t keep running from us.”
“It’s what I do best,” I gasped.
“We care about you.”
“You’re paid”—I gasped—“to care about me.”
He stopped running, but I kept going, my feet hard and heavy on the path. When he saw that I really wasn’t stopping, he sprinted to catch up and grabbed my shoulder. The momentum caused me to spin and nearly fall into his arms.
It would be so easy to fall into his arms, but I held myself back.
“Sparrow, would you stop for two fucking seconds and listen to me?”
I stared past his face, just above his head. Eye contact hurt too much. His handsome face hurt too much. “What do you want to say?”
“This might come as a shock, but we care about you and we would care even if nobody paid us to be her
e. The checks are a bonus, babe. We’d be camped outside the compound every night if they didn’t let us stay here. We’d do whatever it took to be close to you, don’t you get it?”
I flicked my gaze down to his deep green eyes for the shortest of moments. He sounded sincere, but how could he be for real?
“It’s killing us that you’re hurting right now.” He still had my arm in his hand, and he tugged me closer. “Let us help you. Let us comfort you.”
I pulled away from his gentle touch and backed up, putting distance between us. “The only thing that’s going to comfort me right now is being able to See my sister.”
He looked at me, his beautiful face pulled down in sorrow.
I turned and ran back to my cottage, trying to escape everything, trying to escape my life.
The roof peeked out from behind the hill as I approached. I could feel my guards behind me, following at a respectable distance. I appreciated that they let me be. I was even less up for dealing with anyone than I’d been before I’d run into Zak.
My insides ached with regret from the way I’d treated him, another drop in the pit of my heart.
A few more steps and I realized something was off. It took a minute for me to figure out what it was. The orange of my car—I couldn’t see it. Between me and my Nova was a big black Land Rover. David.
I didn’t know why he would come to my cottage. He summoned me when he wanted something, and it wasn’t like I had anything definitive to share about my sister.
I found my door open. That was even less like him. David gave me my space. He’d never just walked in my cottage without Wren’s or my permission. It wasn’t like him.
Then I realized—it wasn’t David who’d come.
“Mom?” I set my keys on Wren’s table, eyeing the demon furniture with the ire it deserved and looked for a sign of my mother.
“In here.” Her voice carried from my sister’s room. Maybe she was doing the same as I had, taking comfort in my sister’s belongings.
I stepped into the doorway expecting to find Mom curled up in Wren’s bed.
Instead, I met a scene of disarray. The sheets were torn from the mattress, the sea glass was gone from the table, and the shelves were bare. Drawers were open, emptied. And in the middle of the floor was a near-full black contractor bag.
“What the hell, Mom?” I reached for Wren’s cream sweater, the one our mother was shoving into the trash. She didn’t let go so we both tugged on a sleeve. The seam ripped, and fury tore through me in a rush. It was my sister’s favorite. Everything in this room had been exactly where Wren liked it. It was how it was supposed to be. Mom had ruined all of it.
“I need to do this,” she said. There were tears in her eyes, resolve in her voice.
“Need to do what?” I yelled. I held back tears of my own, clutching the soft fabric of Wren’s sweater to my chest. It was fragile, it was sacred, it was torn. “Throw everything in the fucking trash like she never existed?”
Silent tears turned to sobs, and Mom sank down onto the bare mattress. “I’m not throwing it away,” she said. “I’m putting it away, for closure.”
“I don’t want closure.”
“Just because you want something doesn’t mean it’s what’s best,” she said. “I know you’re angry that she’s gone, but not everything is about you.”
I stared at my mother, unable to speak, then went into the living room and sank into the sofa. I pulled the demon table over, put my legs protectively on top of it, and leaned back into the fluffy cushions.
The tears I’d held back fell as I listened to the rustling sounds of my mother tearing apart Wren’s existence.
When she dragged the black bag past me and out the door, neither of us spoke another word to each other. She might be ready to hide any evidence of my sister’s life, but not me. I wasn’t going to let go. I’d never let go.
The next day Eveline texted me, threatening to come over. I didn’t want to see her face when I showed her Wren’s room, so I quickly told her I’d meet her at her place, instead.
When I went outside, Drake and Logan were on duty, standing at the porch. Quickly, I stifled my feelings of longing. I had no right to want any of these guys, no right at all.
I locked my door behind me and immediately heard footsteps. Roman, Zak, and Everett came around the side of my cottage.
I folded my arms over my chest and looked at all five of them. I didn’t say a thing. What was there to say?
“You want to See your sister?” Zak asked, a challenge in his voice.
I dropped my arms, surprised. Of anything, I hadn’t expected them to ask me about Wren. “Yeah.”
“Then let’s try to See her.” He held out a hand.
I looked around at all the guys. None of them seemed surprised by this offer. Was this some kind of Seer intervention or some shit? But the chance that they might be able to help me See Wren, the very idea that it might be possible, had my heart pounding faster in my chest with something too close to hope.
I held up my phone and quickly texted Eveline that I had to do something first, then I took Zak’s hand. “Okay.”
A wave of relief seemed to pass through them. They hadn’t thought I would do it, maybe, or they were just happy I was agreeing to something, finally.
It dawned on me that having four, maybe five, hot guys interested in me came with more responsibility. Everything I did, or didn’t do, affected a whole group, not just a single boyfriend. It seemed like the most common-sense conclusion possible, but I hadn’t thought of it until now.
Still holding Zak’s hand, I let him lead me down the path and toward the river, right where we’d argued this morning. Logan, Drake, Everett, and Roman all trailed behind us.
Zak stopped at a little trail that led to a tiny wooden dock. David’s fishing boat was tied up and the current flowed around it, mesmerizing me with its movement.
“We’re not going for a boat ride, are we?” I asked.
Zak shook his head. “Maybe some other time. I just wanted to bring you somewhere quiet so you could focus.”
“Emptying my mind doesn’t fucking work,” I said. “I can’t control my visions, they come whenever they feel like coming and then they go just as fast.”
Logan came up and took my hand. I turned to him in surprise. He was always the one who seemed to hold back—he and I hadn’t even kissed. He was attractive, but we still hadn’t connected in the same way as I had with the others. Maybe because he was usually acting like a douche. But now, as I looked at his piercing hazel eyes, he gave me a gentle smile.
“You can do this, Sparrow,” he said. “I know you can.”
I didn’t know about that, but something in me wanted to impress him. Still, I couldn’t impress him if I couldn’t do what he asked.
Shaking my head, I said, “I’ve tried. I’ve tried so much.”
Zak squeezed my other hand. “I think watching the water will help you close your mind to distractions. It’ll help you empty your mind of everything and allow the vision to happen.”
I let go of Zak and Logan and went to the dock. They waited on the shore with the other guys.
The dock swayed gently as I hopped onto it, moving with the river and my weight. I turned around and gave the guys a silly, exaggerated wave. “Okay, nothing to see here, folks.”
“We’re not staring at you or anything,” Zak said.
Roman’s voice was quiet, but carried just enough. “Speak for yourself, I can’t ever look away from her.”
“Truth,” Everett added.
I turned back around and faced the water, letting their voices fade from my attention.
“Just focus on the movement of the water,” Zak said again.
“Got it.”
I sat cross-legged and watched the river. It was so constant, so present and yet continuously moving. The water continued flowing. I stilled my mind and waited for a vision.
My knee itched. I tried to ignore it. The itch worsened, so I
scratched it. Immediately, my other hand started itching. My ass felt like it was falling asleep, and one of the boards of the dock was slightly raised and digging into my ankle.
No. I could do this. The itching and discomfort were all in my mind. If I just focused on my breath like Wren told me to, and focused on the water like Zak told me to, I’d be able to do it.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. My toes started twitching. I looked from the water to my feet. I just couldn’t sit still—I never could.
“I can’t do this,” I said, standing up. This was just like with my mom and David. Everyone wanting me to See something for them, and...nothing. “I’m sorry, but it’s just not happening.”
I moved to scramble back to the shore, but Logan said, “Wait.”
“What?” Like he would suddenly have an insight. At this point, everyone and their dog had tried to help me...I was just a failure, that’s all there was to it. The oracle who couldn’t See.
“When’s the last time you had a vision?” Logan asked, hopping down to the dock beside me.
“Yesterday.”
Logan sat down on the dock right in front of me, his knees touching mine. I didn’t feel the zing of electricity that I felt when I touched the other guys, but maybe that would come with time or maybe my crazy libido had just decided four dudes was enough.
“Okay,” he said, “and what were you doing right before?”
“I was…” I trailed off, embarrassed.
“It’s all right, I won’t judge you.”
There was something in his eyes that made me feel a little uneasy, but Zak was right next to me and he patted my knee. “I won’t judge you, either,” he said.
“I was holding Wren’s pillow,” I said.
“And what were you thinking about?” Logan asked.
“Wren. I was missing her, so much.”
“Then why don’t you find the vision that way?” Logan said.
“By missing Wren? I miss her all the damn time.”
He smiled, his teeth white and straight. “By allowing yourself to feel things.”
I squinted at him, puzzled. I felt things. It seemed I was always after a quick hit of physical contact or the kind of movement that tired me out and kept me from thinking.
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