Apollo
The days after Sen is released from the hospital pass in a blur. My parents gladly take her in, and she makes the game room into her own space. Although they’re not overjoyed about it, they don’t say anything when they wake up to find one or both of us, or more often - all four of us, surrounding her on the mattresses.
Three days after the incident, the five of us attend our third funeral together – if you count the time we buried our dog, Patches, in our back yard when we were eight. That funeral had more emotion than this one.
Sen is confused, unsure whether she should mourn the mother who helped her in the end or not mourn the one who ignored her for so many years. We’re there for her, letting her come to terms with the events of the past week. The day is dark and dreary, and the weather finally acts like it’s January in Florida. The bite to the wind makes us huddle around Senya to protect her from the cold. We stand beside her and behind her, surrounded by our families. They’re there to support her, not necessarily to mourn her mother. The other guys and I are still a little angry at the dead woman. If it weren’t for her, the man would have never entered her life in the first place.
The loser, Lou Holder, is cremated without any fanfare and no loved ones surrounding him. It’s as it should be, and we’re happy there’s one less asshole in the world. Rumors circulate wildly, especially at school, but we form an impenetrable wall of five people. Some feel sorry for Sen and don’t say anything. Others, assholes like Jack, decide it doesn’t matter and spread rumors about her fucking all of us and twisting how her mom died. He ends up with two black eyes and three missing teeth until he finally learns to shut his fucking mouth.
A week after Senya is released from the hospital, we surround her on the mattresses in the game room. Her wrist is still in a cast, but her face only holds a tinge of yellow and green, and she can hobble around on her ankle even though the doctor told her to take it easy. Still, she doesn’t listen. She never does.
“I suppose we should talk about our project?” Orion groans, lying back on the makeshift bed with a thump. Mom and Dad had to buy new mattresses for our beds because we refused to move them back into our own rooms. If they have any ideas about what happened while they were gone, they don’t say anything. My dad does give an entire lecture about the Roman and Greek languages and how there are many words for all the different kinds of love. I think it’s his way of saying he supports us, even if Mom wants to believe we’re still virgins.
“School just doesn’t seem as important anymore,” Aric sighs.
“I know the theme of our magazine,” Sen says, and we all listen. If we didn’t realize it before we reconnected with her, we know it now. She’s our center, our sun, our star. We would be so much less without her. “It should be a celebration of life and death.”
Manny nods, his amazing brain computing all the components. I think about the photos I have, of this funeral and the others, of us laughing and playing together. I know Aric has sketches to contribute and Sen has been off in her own world writing lines to a poem. She says it helps her process what happened, and we love watching her when she disappears into the creative process. She bites her lip, and her eyes shine. It’s beautiful.
I nod. “I think that’s a great idea.”
“I know what to do to celebrate life.” Orion smirks and his hand slowly travels up Sen’s leg. My breath sticks in my throat. We haven’t done much with Sen since that night. There’s been lots of holding, cuddling, and a few tame make-out sessions, but we’ve been stalling anything else until we’re sure she’s ready.
“I don’t know,” Manny starts. He’s been the most vocal about waiting, not wanting to take advantage of her after she was almost raped. Just the thought is enough to steal my desire and my breath. I push it away, focusing on the beauty of the moment as Sen snarls cutely. She straddles Manny before he can say anything else.
“Shut up, bossypants.” She leans over and kisses him hard, bracing herself with her cast on the wall above them. We watch as our little pixie devours his anger, leaving only lust behind. When she sits back, she smiles. “I’m ready. I want to celebrate life. I want to feel alive. I want you all to remind me why I fought so hard to get away.” She swallows hard. She’s told us in the middle of the night, her voice thick with tears, that it was thoughts of us that made her keep fighting. She wouldn’t give in to him because she wanted to come back to us. I can’t imagine our little warrior giving in to anyone, but it affirms how important we are to each other.
She turns in Manny’s lap. His hands grip her hips and his breath pants in his chest. The desire in her eyes sparks my own. “Well?” she asks.
We smile as we surround her, careful of her injuries. We remind her and ourselves of everything that’s beautiful in life.
Epilogue
Senya
Ten Years Later
If you asked me ten years ago what happiness was, I wouldn’t have said family. I had a beautiful family once and it fell apart. I lost everything, and the time before I found it again was the most painful period of my life. I wouldn’t change anything.
My family surrounds me, nontraditional but absolutely beautiful. Orion bustles around the kitchen, cooking supper. He and Aric take turns because the only thing I’m capable of is peanut butter and jelly and mac and cheese. I know my strengths, and they’re not in the kitchen. I watch him as he glides around gracefully, his t-shirt taut against his firm muscles and his eyes sparkling with happiness. He’s still the fun-loving one of the group. He’s always smiling.
When one of the twins barrels into the room, chasing after the cat, Orion breaks off from what he’s doing and scoops Daniel up in his arms. The five-year-old squeals as he flies through the air like an airplane. Dennis follows right behind him. “Me too, Papa!” he begs, and Orion ruffles the brown hair on top of his head, a carbon copy of his. They look just like their dad, although no one is sure which of the brothers is actually the father. It doesn’t matter.
“Don’t burn the food, old man,” Apollo quips as he comes in from the garage. The brothers remain two of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen. They still take the time to work out. It’s almost a requirement for Orion’s job as a feature newscaster on the local cable station. Women pay attention every time he smiles at the camera. He also writes most of his stories, which isn’t common, but the network knows what a gem he is.
Apollo leans over and kisses the top of my head, his eyes lingering on my face. “How’s my beautiful woman tonight?”
“Perfect,” I murmur. This weekend is the anniversary of my mother’s death, but it’s also the anniversary of our first time together. It’s a bittersweet moment. Some years are harder than others. This time, I’m just grateful for everything I have.
“I have good news,” he says as he sits down next to me. The twins immediately scramble into his lap. He easily supports one on each leg, rocking them like he’s a horse. Dennis tugs at his beard and Apollo tickles him until he’s squirming and squealing.
“What’s that?” I can’t help but smile as I watch him interact with the kids. They’re all such good dads, all four of them.
“My contract got extended.”
A wide grin blooms across my face. I stand up to lean over the kids and plant a kiss on his lips. After his success in college football, he had the option to continue, but he chose to become a sports photographer instead. He travels occasionally, but I’m never alone. His contract extension as the exclusive photographer for the local teams means he can stay here longer. My heart swells with happiness.
“Mama, your tummy is too big!” Danny complains.
“Well, tell your little sister to stop growing.”
Denny, more serious than his older brother, pats my stomach and glares at his twin. “She’s perfect, Mama. She can keep growing, Danny. We want her to grow.”
“Yes we do,” I agree, planting a kiss on each of their heads as they wiggle and tumble from Apollo’s lap. They never stay in one
place very long.
“Speaking of growing, someone else wants her mama.” Aric carries our one-year-old, Maria, into the room and places the fussing toddler into my arms. She kicks me in the stomach, and I groan when the baby reacts by kicking back. Maria has Manny’s beautiful dark eyes and hair. The one inside me will be Aric’s. We decided it was only fair, even though I had to listen to the others complain about using condoms while we tried for it. Maria is a solemn, needy little one, but I never have to do anything alone. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even get to hold my babies except for nursing them because there are so many eager daddies willing to take them.
Aric stoops to give me a kiss. He’s cut his hair since high school, but it looks good on him. Tattoos, mostly his own designs, decorate his arms and spread under his shirt. His dad won full custody of Daisy when his aunt’s lawyer turned up the fact that his mom’s husband was embezzling funds from his company. Manny’s dad divorced Shelly at about the same time, and we had some happy parties in double celebration.
Now, Daisy lives just across the city and visits often. She has her own alt-chic clothing store. Aric spends most of his time in our ridiculously large garage, custom painting motorcycles. He’s paid really well for each commission and the funds support his hobby of fixing up old bikes in his spare time.
Only one more, I think as I look around our cozy kitchen. Outside the glass patio doors, the waves crash on the beach. We couldn’t resist the Oceanside view, despite the threat of hurricanes. It’s just too beautiful. I love to sit on the deck and listen to the ocean. At night, the stars sparkle over the sea, reflecting through the air like tiny lights. Apollo and Orion tell the kids that they’re little pixies that fly over the water. Denny is skeptical.
The front door opens and closes. Aric sits down behind me, pulling me back against him as Maria sprawls across my growing stomach. Now that she’s in my arms, she’s no longer fussy. She really is a mama’s girl, and I’m glad for the release from the overwhelming testosterone. The next one is a girl too.
“Look what came in the mail!” Manny crows as he enters the kitchen. I can’t focus on the package in his arms; I’m more interested in how sexy he looks in his three-piece suit. He’s loosened his tie, but it only makes him more attractive.
“Mama’s book!” Danny yells over and over as he screams into the kitchen. Manny puts the package down and scoops him up.
“Maybe it’s an elephant,” Manny teases as he plants a raspberry on the boy’s stomach.
“It’s too small, Daddy,” Denny says in all seriousness, climbing on the chair to look at the package now sitting on the table.
“A baby elephant?” Orion asks from the kitchen. He’s done whatever he needs to do and joins us at the table, drawing my hand into his. I hardly even need arms to hold Maria because she lies across my stomach, and Aric can help if she slips. Orion’s thumb rubs across the tattoo on the wrist that I broke that fateful day ten years ago. The Chinese coin matches his and his brothers’ tattoos. Manny and Aric got one too, both over their heart in their colors. The actual tokens are framed in a shadow box on top of the mantle. I thought it was cheesy, but Aric insisted.
Manny captures my lips in a searing kiss. There’s no trace of the anger that always rode him when we were younger. Instead, he channels his intensity into work, the gym, and our bed.
“How was the case?” I ask him.
“We won,” he replies with a quick grin. Pleasure fills me. Manny followed in his father’s footsteps. He’s a formidable lawyer. His focus is on custody issues, especially helping families that aren’t traditional – like ours and the LGBT community.
“Open it, open it!” Danny chants. I’d almost forgotten about the package, my attention tied up in my men. The twins are full of energy, partners in crime. They love telling their kindergarten teacher that they’re going to marry the same woman just like their daddies. It makes for interesting parent-teacher conferences. We’re not actually married. Manny used his lawyering skills to create an LLC so that everything is shared equally between us. I wanted it that way. I wasn’t interested in getting married unless I could marry all of them. We did have a beautiful commitment ceremony on the beach, though. It’s one of my favorite memories. We were surrounded by our families and the friends we made in college that got over their shock at our relationship enough to get to know us. My best friend, Belle, was my bridesmaid. She brought along her two boyfriends.
“Are you ready?” Orion asks. He looks more excited than me.
I shrug. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” Writing the book was the reward for me. It will be amazing to see it in hardback form, but my pride is already full to bursting with what’s around me.
There’s so much love in this house. Apollo is my reliable, strong protector. Orion is the fun-loving, excitable one who reminds me to never take things too seriously. Manny is my brilliant, passionate warrior striving for justice. And Aric is always so sweet, kind, and compassionate. I was lucky ten years ago, but I’m even luckier now. We don’t lack for anything. Although I’m excited about the package, it’s just a bonus.
Orion’s fingers tap a fake drumroll on the table before he rips it open with help from the twins. He takes out the glossy hardcover and waves it in the air. “Here it is!” he boasts proudly as if he’s holding the Holy Grail.
I couldn’t have done it without them. My first book, accepted by a New York publisher is a memoir about the girl who lost everything and regained it fourfold. Our secrets are in there. I’d been concerned about Manny’s and Orion’s careers and reputations, but they’d convinced me. They’d told me that other people needed to read about our lives. They insisted that what we have isn’t weird or abnormal and the world needs to know. Love isn’t divided between people – it’s multiplied. The book means more to me than just being my first publication. It’s a testament to the moment when I realized no one can survive alone in this world. Love is love even if it doesn’t fit into the mold, and families come in all shapes and sizes.
Tears stream down my face as I watch my beautiful family look through the first hardcover copies of my book.
“Why are you sad, Mama?” Danny asks.
Denny climbs down and pats my tummy under Maria’s feet. “Is it the baby?”
I laugh through my tears. “No, my little loves. I’m crying because I’m happy.” I release Orion to ruffle their soft curls.
“Group hug!” Danny cries out and Denny echoes him. Laughter rings through the house. Orion said it once, and the boys parrot it every chance they get. The others crowd around me, careful not to squish any of the littles. My heart grows impossibly big and full, so much that I feel it might burst from my chest. My men each smile at me and then at each other. It hasn’t always been easy, but we talked it out and made it through and are stronger every day because of it. I’m more in love with them today than I was ten, or twenty, years ago.
Sometimes, things get lost. If I hadn’t lost them, I might never have known or appreciated what I had when I found them again. The old quote about needing to experience the dark to see the beauty of the stars? It’s true. I’ve endured and lived, and now I can love.
One thing is for sure, though. I’m never letting go again.
About the Author
Serena has been writing stories since she was in second grade. Words, books, and tales have always fascinated her. She wrote her first novel when she was twelve and has been writing nonstop since then! Almost all of her books portray characters that push the boundaries of sexuality, gender identity, ableism, and nontraditional relationships.
Serena currently lives in Upstate New York in a developing intentional community. She believes in true love, multiple soul matches, the beauty of starry nights, and the power of touch. She’d love to connect with you on social media!
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