by Jossy Loes
—Can you tell me what is it that you want? —I asked her with harshness—. Since we met the first time you've treated me as if I were the flag bearer of the self-centered, then you apologize and you do the things that leave me hallucinating, but later you kick me off again. —I set my hands on the head, tired of that day filled with strong emotions—. After having sex like we had, telling me that I mess around with the first one who crosses my path has been a great present from your side. If only you had stopped for a moment and observed, you would have noticed that I'm not the one who has another girl each week.
Her face reflected embarrassment, she sat next to me and sighed discouraged.
—I have followed you since you have started. I was in Liverpool once, I heard you playing and I loved it —said Erin—. I searched you on the social networks, attentive to everything that you did. I went back to the city and had the occasion to meet you, but you were so focused on other girls that you looked at me as if it was nothing and I thought that the fame made you feel so important.
"Two years ago, one of the shareholders of the hotel suggested to change the festival, to make it more international and I gave him the idea to invite your band, I never thought that it would be realized. I was overwhelmed by surprise buying tickets to go home, I was a year out of Ireland and was excited to come back in the summer, I saw you at the airport, but you were so entertained with the fans that I remembered the day when I tried to meet you, I reproached myself for being so silly.
"You're an artist, you owe it to your audience and I'm a simple college student, who chose to be far from home to feel free. Not even in the most unreal dreams it could work out, however, the secretary and Máire, one of the tour guides, told me about your closeness with the people yesterday. I couldn't believe it, he wasn't the same moron from the airport, I wanted to believe them, even when I had to replace another guide. I was nervous when I saw you and you acted the same way.
—I didn't, you know that I'm telling the truth. —Erin panted—. I can say that you have been very unfair —I told her directly.
She clenched her lips, avoiding to rebuke me and not looking at me. I smiled knowing that I had won this game, I left my guitar aside and turned her face with my hand.
—What do you think if we started again? —I suggested. She bit her lip for a few seconds, let out another puff of air and nodded.
—But I can only promise that every time we're together will be unforgettable. —I looked at her for a few seconds realizing that she was right, my continuous touring, living in different countries would make hard any start of a relationship and I accepted that what would happen during the following days would be a summer romance.
—Ok —I answered.
I felt a huge relief, and a joy that I had never experienced. I didn't have to say a thing, she took refuge in my arms as we were accepting together the sensations that were being born.
Nicole looked at me with tenderness, sighing at the same time, I smiled, thinking that some I would publish my history and that day would arrive soon. She looked again at the departures screen and got up quickly.
—Damn it, I had not seen the gate number! —she exclaimed nervously, looked at me, eager to hear the end of the story, but there was no time—. I want to know more, but I have to go.
I looked at her smiling sideways and got up.
—I think we're on the same flight. —She opened her mouth by surprise—. I'll make it somehow that you sit next to me.
Nicole blushed, grabbed the handlebars of her suitcase, I picked up mine, the guitar, and we went together to the boarding gate. Twenty minutes later, after a couple of selfies and signatures, Nicole sat next to me.
—It's obvious that you know very well how to use your stardom.
I laughed nodding.
—Where were we? —I asked her mockingly—. I remember! A kick in my leg woke me up violently. Niall was looking at me with a silly grin since it seems that I had fallen asleep hugging my guitar. Erin had not even had the decency to say goodbye and I felt betrayed, I even doubted if she was real.
I ignored my friend and went back to my room for a shower, hoping that the days would pass by quickly, I will not ask for explanations, I had her number, I could call her and reproach her, but if she didn't want to say goodbye, why should I? However, Brett appeared with another of his evil grins that were driving me crazy and handed me a note.
I took it reluctantly and I read it. Erin was apologizing, explaining to me that we shouldn't risk it, I had to accept it, I had to focus on rehearsals and to finish my song.
In the evening, we went to another pub to distract ourselves and there I saw her with a group of young people. I felt jealousy, I wanted to be by her side, and not listening to the whistles for us to play, so we played to please our fans, but it was what I least wanted to do.
When we finished, I went out to smoke, I don't usually smoke, but I was frustrated and nervous, I wanted to forget how a stranger was putting the arm on her shoulders and joked intimately with her, I threw the cigar feeling angry and smoothed my hair ready to return to the hotel, but somebody grabbed my hand and I saw her.
—At the end I was able to escape, come with me, I know a place where we will be more comfortable. —And dragged me to the end of the village, pulled out a flashlight with a belt, I was a little puzzled to suppress myself this time, but I let out what I felt.
—I thought that it was me who makes you go down the wrong path.
She roared with laughter, stopped and brought the lantern close to her face.
—Appearances can be deceiving. —I smiled at that entertaining Erin standing next to me. We arrived to a cabin, she took out the keys and opened the door, lit up several gas lamps and I looked at the place from the threshold of the door.
The cabin was cozy, I saw her approaching to the modern fireplace and turning it on. My mind imagined all we could do to when I noticed several pillows and blankets on one side; she spread them out and sat staring at the fireplace waiting for me to say something.
—Well, Erin? I hope you won't bail out on me, I have no new excuses for my friends.
She smiled and moved closer to me.
—This time it's not going to happen, I want you to make me feel that you want me as you've never wanted any woman. —I knelt down in front of her and moved closer holding her neck to kiss her fiercely, penetrating with my tongue, quivering with hers and exploring her mouth.
Again I smiled, making it clear to Nicole that I wouldn't continue and she accepted. Although, once more, I began to remember how my hands glided under Erin's shirt, as well as her hands played around with the button of my jeans.
After each kiss that I gave her, she sighed loudly asking me for more, I took off her shirt and she opened the zipper of my jeans, started to torture me again with slow caressing, I managed to remove her trousers to kiss the inside of her thighs and beyond. Without wasting any time, I got off her panties and sank again into her.
—I don't know how much time passed, but I assure you, Nicole, that night was born another song.
—Oh, I know which one! —she said excited— The chords of the heart. —I could not repress a smile, and she imitated me, while through my mind flew those moments that I lived with Erin, how I whispered in her ear every word that was popping up in my mind and later I presented to the band a draft which was utterly deplorable.
—My friends decided not to ask —I went on telling to Nicole—. Maybe my idiot smile made them draw their own conclusions about where I had gone.
"Days later, at night, we escaped admiring the wonderful sunset over the cliffs of that region, where the sound and the breeze from the sea together with the flowers helped us to hide and to be able to feel that attraction that was overwhelming us and, when she was mine again, she whispered to me in Gaelic not to cease to love her as I did.
Those days I fell in love with not only with an Irish girl, I fell in love with a country, the Emerald Island, its people, its landscap
es.
On the day of the concert everything changed. Out of nothing appeared more people than we expected and the parking of the hotel was filled to the top. My friends accepted to play "The chords of the heart". Erin was on the first flat and, listening to it, she looked surprised, but instead of excitement, I saw disappointment, understanding instantly that she wanted the intimacy that was born between us remains unveiled and that was the last time I saw her.
Nicole's eyes opened, and I hurried to explain.
—For some time I tried to speak with her while I was still in Ireland, but commitments prevented me from returning to Howth, and when I could have gone there, her sister explained to me that she had gone to a country on the other side of the ocean, she was disappointed for what she had considered moments that she kept in her heart.
Months of messages on WhatsApp without getting any response were driving me crazy, until we had the opportunity to go to the United States. I managed to fly to Seattle and I went to her apartment.
As soon as she saw me, she almost fainted from the impression. The truth is that I had a bunch of reproaches, but, upon seeing her, I forgot everything. We entered and we sat next to each other without knowing what to say.
—I never imagined that I would see you again —she said, breaking the silence.
—If at least you had responded to my messages, we would have saved this moment —I reproached.
—Logan, I feel like a merciless, I have behaved since the concert as an ungrateful and it is not fair.
—I should have told you that I was going to sing that song, my original idea was to surprise you, I wanted to show you what I feel for you, but I think I did it in a wrong way.
She breathed deeply and looked at me.
—It's a beautiful song.
—Dedicated to a woman who I fell in love with.
She looked me in the eyes and sighed.
—What will we do now?
—What if we simply follow what life brings?
She interlaced my hand with hers and told me.
—I have to stay here for three more years and I will be able to go only in July to Howth.
—I'm willing for you to disappear for a week, to go each July to Howth under one condition.
—Which one?
—That we wander around in the corridors of the castle and you tell me all the history and legends that you know.
—What if I start telling stories from now on?
—I'm all ears —I said. Erin came closer to me, cradled under my arm and began to tell the story of two young people who met at the airport, and while she remembered our story, I started to love her as I had desired for months.
Nicole looked at me not knowing what to say.
—Oh! Tell me what you want to know —I suggested that she might ask whatever she wanted.
—Do you want to say that this year she returns forever? I can't believe that I had luck of getting to know the story of a pop star!
—Now you see, we are mortal beings of flesh and bone just like the others.
—This happened for real?
—You will know it when you cross the exit doors.
In that moment, the flight attendant came to announce that soon we'd come to Dublin and asked Nicole to return to her seat, she smiled nervously, I breathed deeply, remembering every moment that I had with Erin.
Every year when we were celebrating our anniversary, she used to call it the renewal of promises and I couldn't tell to Nicole that Erin returned from Seattle, enrolled at the University of Lancaster and in the summer months we lived our love in the most hidden places of Ireland.
From Andare with its legends about fairies and elves, hiding in the rainbow that reached every house of Kenmare, seeing the sunset in the green pastures of Calingford or simply going back to the cabin for which I later learned that belonged to the family.
I had fallen in love with Ireland, the Emerald Isle had caught my heart.
The pilot of the plane welcomed us and I wanted like every year to see my Irish fairy as soon as I get off. I came closer to the doors and, as soon as it opened, I saw her. Erin ran up to me despite of who I was and I kissed her with passion that I felt. I saw Nicole, smiling, winked my eye and pointed with the finger that she should keep the secret.
Erin noticed it and became quiet, I put my arm around her shoulder and we started walking to the exit of the airport.
—Logan, don't you ever get tired of telling people our story?
—You know it? —I said to distract her—. I'd like you to tell me that legend of the pop star who fell in love with a young woman of the Irish nobility.
—Wow! A story became a legend —she said sarcastically—. I don't understand how nobody betrayed us until now.
—Possibly because there's still no ending.
—And you want it to have it?
—If it's in Howth, in a cabin at the exit of the village, I will accept it with pleasure.
A Date at the Cinema
Smooth loudmouth!
2
I was preparing to go to the cinema with my nerves on the edge. It was the first time that I went out with Alberto since our last meeting. Cunningly, he convinced our friends after clarifying a misunderstanding that has been dragged over the whole summer.
Following the advice of my friends I didn't send him any WhatsApp to fix it and it wasn't fixed until the end of July, when I was visiting one of the beaches of Fuerteventura where I saw surfers, and then I understood that I had to make the move. After many messages, I had the feeling that I was coming back to the point where we stopped.
But a couple of more weeks passed by without knowing anything about him, until my friend Anna wrote me a message with emoticons of amazement and happiness. Without knowing what was coming, I asked her if she had drunk another energy drink. She ignored me deliberately, leaving me in uncertainty for a good while, until she continued writing.
—I have the order to force you to go to the cinema no matter what, and can you guess who requested it?
Then she put an icon of the little devil. I was studying, because I was repeating some stuff to move to the last year of the high school, and, why to deny it, I fell off the chair, so I could not concentrate, and I barely passed my exam the next day. Since then, my nerves have been on the edge.
When the day came, I was on the verge of a hysteria attack, thinking what I could wear to call his attention, and nothing seemed good enough. The shorts I used almost on a daily basis, the skirt didn't entirely convince me, and the dress was too formal... I was so indecisive that I closed my eyes and I chose the first thing that I touched with my hand.
A short summer overalls paired with sandals of color nude. I combed my hair and put on make up as natural as possible, I turned my face from one side to the other letting out a long sigh, went to Ana's house to go with her to the nearby mall on the beach of the Canteras.
Since the weather was fine, we took a long walk along the promenade of the Canteras, seeing some children playing in the sand, others bathing in the sun and, at the same time, people on the terraces using the opportunity to gather and enjoy. On the way I met my brother, who was skating close to Santa Catalina park, looked at me and pointed at me with a laugh.
—And where is the handsome[2]? Looks like you're going to be lucky.
I hated it when she came out with such crap in front of others, jerk showed me up, so I decided to let him go. I wouldn't have been target of his jokes, the problem was that everyone knew me, and they began to make fun of me.
—Xio!, if the glutton doesn't take the initiative, I'm here to serve you —said Rayco raising his eyebrows.
—Idiot! —shouted Ana—. You have mixed her up once! —she noticed.
Rayco lifted the middle finger and she returned the gesture, I covered my face, shaking my head. Last two days I have been thinking that everything was going to end up badly, so I couldn't endure in those moments Rayco and his foolishnesses. Ana, sideways, observed me and
tried to reassure me, she knew my doubts and my fears.
—Do not listen to that fantasizer, think positive— she said, but, seeing her face, I realized that even she wasn't sure about her words. You're ok, don't take any notice! Anyway, you don't have to worry, you have already clarified it all.
I didn't want to answer, I was restless, because, according to the horoscope in the newspaper, regarding love issues not everything is going to come out as I wanted. Yes, I knew that clinging to an anonymous and his improbable predictions was a clear sign of my despair, but in my short life I was in that stage where I believed in all announced by astrologers and fortunetellers, like the one that people used to watch in the early mornings on some TV channels.
When we arrived to the mall, I was so nervous that my hands were sweating. It was the first time it happened and, unconsciously, I wiped one with my clothing, leaving a quite remarkable stain. I could not be certain what I saw, I felt like I was part of one of those scenes where they just have finished the tests of some committed crime.
At the moment when I almost cried out a yuyu, I turned to Ana to help me with a handkerchief or, generally, find some quick solution to fix my big problem and, instead of helping and comforting me, she laughed at me what a wreck I had become.
Why not to say it, I was a bundle of walking nerves.
—Let's see, Xio... —she said, suppressing the laughter—. I believed you were more brave, we're talking about Alberto, not Mario Casas.
I took some air and looked at her in a bad way, I was aware that he wasn't Mario Casas, or at least not for her, but for me he was. We walked, trying to dry that horrible stupid spot and, in the distance, I saw him, my heart started speeding up. If I was nervous before, now I could go to a Guinness Records competition in category the greatest number of heartbeats per second. Maybe I wouldn't win, but I would be among the first five, and my nerves were very noticeable.