by Cecy Robson
“I don’t want to stop kiss kissing you,” I rasp.
She turns away, glancing toward the door. “I don’t want to stop either.”
I tilt her chin so she’ll look at me. “Then let’s not stop.”
I attack her mouth. She doesn’t fight me, pressing her body tight against mine.
“Oh, shit,” Apollo says, causing Aedry to jump and break our kiss.
“What the hell?” I say, keeping my hold on her.
“My peas melted,” he says tossing the bag into the sink. “I didn’t know I was going to walk in on this shit,” he adds, laughing.
Aedry waits until she hears his door shut before lifting her bright pink face. When I try to kiss her, she presses a hand against my chest, keeping me in place. “I’m sorry, but it’s hard to kiss you―”
“Didn’t seem that way just now.”
Her mouth twists. “I mean, knowing you already kissed another woman today.”
“I didn’t kiss her. She only spent the night―”
She holds her hand up. “I’m going to stop you right there, big guy.”
“She stayed in my bed, but I didn’t stay with her. I slept on the couch.”
It’s the truth, but she still seems hurt.
My lips brush over her forehead as I speak softly. “Look, Aedry. I don’t know what’s up with you and me. Like I said, dating women isn’t something I do. But I want to do it with you or at least try.”
“I want to try, too,” she admits.
I don’t say anything more. I’ve already said too much. But maybe it’s enough.
“I like you,” she tells me. “I think despite everything you’ve been through, you’re a good man. But I’ll be honest, sometimes you really scare me.”
I frown. “I wouldn’t hurt you―or force you to do anything you don’t want or like. You have my word.”
“Okay,” she says, like she’s been waiting to hear it.
“You want to date me?” she says after a moment. I answer with a stiff nod, even though I’m still asking myself when I became such a pussy. “All right,” she says. “But even though we’re not sleeping together, I won’t keep dating you if I know you’re with other women.”
I raise a brow. “You’re asking for commitment? Already?”
No sooner do I spit the words out than her finger glides along my lips, silencing me. “Not a commitment, only honesty. If you’re with someone, tell me.”
“But you’ll walk away.” I’m not trying to tell her I’ll lie to keep her. I’m only pointing out what I know she’ll do.
“I will,” she admits. “But only because I don’t want to get hurt.” She sighs. “I don’t know what it is about you, but I already know you have the power to hurt me like no one else . . .”
Chapter Thirteen
Salvatore
The sit-down Vin has with Raphael goes as well as I thought, which means everything goes to shit. Raph didn’t mince words and told Vin flat out he wants his domain. Vin, being who he is, answers with an immediate nod that gives Lucca the okay to shoot Raph point blank in the face.
We had a plan, me and Vin. Hear Raph out, give him the terms. “Stay loyal or pay the price.” Vin jumps straight into pay the price, so now me and Raph’s enforcer are fucking each other up.
Monster―no shit, that’s what he goes by―takes a swing. I duck out of reach, but he still catches me in the skull, sending me flying into the wall. My foot nails him in the gut when he hurtles towards me. He stumbles back just far enough for Benny to empty his clip into him and not shoot me.
Vin is still hiding beneath the desk where I shoved him. I stagger to him, holding tight to my upper arm where the Monster stabbed me. Inches. He missed my heart by inches. If I hadn’t turned when everyone started swinging―
The barrel of a gun comes flying out over the desk. I dive out of reach when Vin sets off three rounds. Benny isn’t so lucky.
“Mother fucker,” Benny howls, falling to the floor.
“Vin―Vin!” I shout. I’m ready to kill him my damn self. I keep it together enough to control him. “It’s over, boss,” I say.
Vin stands, blood pouring from his mouth from his brief interaction with Raph’s second. What the hell would this little bitch have done without me? He can’t do shit right. Problem is, he knows it, which is why he demanded I show. I mutter a swear, nailing him with a glare as I address his men.
Everyone is breathing hard from the fight and from the rush. Eight dead. Two of them ours, and now Benny’s lying on the floor bleeding. I kneel next to Benny, ripping what’s left of my jacket off and pressing it to his thigh. “What do you want us to do, boss?” I ask.
It’s my way of giving control back to Vin. His men are looking at me, waiting for me to make a decision. He needs to answer and call the shots, and he needs to do it fast before he loses any more face. “Boss?” I question, louder. Like his men, I can’t wait to get the hell out of here.
Vin hurries out from behind the desk, but it’s not to talk. He kicks Raph’s already mutilated face. “Mother fucker!” he yells.
Christ.
The men gathered look from Vin to me, their expressions hard, annoyed, but mainly pissed. This is the man they took an oath to. The one they’re risking everything to stay loyal to. Almost in unison, they meet my eyes. I swipe my face, knowing there’s nothing left to do but lead. “Sam, Dino, Mattie, you’re in charge of clean-up. Lucca, call the doc, tell him you’re bringing Benny over and to be ready. Tony, you help.”
They nod and move. By now, Vin’s stopped kicking. He’s breathing hard from the breakdown, but also because he’s pissed, probably at himself. I want to fly out of here. I want to rage. I want fucking out!
I glance away from the bodies, from the splatters of blood painting the walls like I’m forming a plan. I’m not planning shit. My head is pounding brutally from the stress, and from how hard I had to fight to stay alive.
I can barely see straight. Each heartbeat is like a stab through my lungs. I’m ready to lose it, but I know I can’t if I’m going to survive.
Without trying, my mind fills with images of Aedry. We had dinner at that converted church where they make brick oven pizza a few nights back. The pressure in my skull lifts the more I focus on the details, how she looked in that dark dress. How she laughed when I dripped sauce on my chin and how she smiled when I kissed her goodnight. It’s the only thing that keeps me from falling to my knees and heaving.
I don’t speak again, not until the bodies are taken away and the rest of the crew files out. “You can’t pull this hysterical shit again,” I tell Vin. “We’ll both end up dead if you do.”
He lights a cigarette and takes a long drag. “I wanted to go big, make a statement. It would have worked if . . .” He drifts off and, for a second, it’s like he’s no longer there.
He’s crumbling, falling apart. I bring him back with the truth, fast. “You looked weak,” I tell him, meeting his narrowed eyes with my own. “You want to play big, then play big, go strong. Don’t pull this half-assed shit.”
“I have to do something, don’t I?” he asks, understanding where I’m going with this.
I nod, but I don’t offer anything, even though I know that’s what he wants.
He lifts his cell phone from his pocket and makes a call. “Dino, it’s Vin. Cut out Raph’s heart. Send half of it to Leo, the other half to Marlo . . . yeah, that’s right. The other two bosses in New York . . .”
Aedry
“How’s it going with tall, dark, cranky, and hot?”
I grin as I place the roast in the oven. Autumn always has a fun way with words. “Good. It sounds silly, but I feel like a teenager.”
“Because you’re horny?”
I laugh. After two weeks of only kissing, she’s not far off. I’m ready for more. “He’s taking things slow.”
“It’s what you wanted, right?”
“Not this slow. Even annoying Marlon had whipped off my bra at this point. Sal
. . .”
“Makes you hot?”
“Yes.”
“Sharpens your girl parts to Number 2 pencils?”
I think about how he kissed my neck and left me those hickeys and how I’ve had to wear scarves all week at school. “Yes, that, too. But what I mean is ―”
“Makes you want to ride him into the sunset like a bronco with no saddle while wearing a prairie maiden dress―sorry, that was my fantasy about him.”
“Autumn!”
“Aedry, can you blame me? I have no one. I look at vaginas all day and treat for syphilis. The least I can do is live vicariously through you. Seriously, think about getting a prairie maiden dress. It’s a little-known fact, men like hot prairie maidens.”
“I’ll keep it mind,” I tell her.
“Are you going to tell me what’s bugging you?”
“I will if you let me.”
“What do you mean?” she asks, laughing. “I’m all ears.”
“Sure, you are,” I say. I shut the oven door and set the timer on my cell phone. “Autumn, it’s as if now that he knows I’m a virgin, he’s afraid to touch me or hurt me, or something.”
“You’re kidding? He doesn’t, like, touch you, touch you?”
“Not as much as I’d like. I think it’s because I remind him of his mother.”
“Oh, um. How can I say this? Oh, yes, ew.”
I burst out laughing. “Not like that.”
“Okay, then please explain. You’re seriously killing my hot cowboy fantasy.”
“You have more than one fantasy about my almost boyfriend?”
“Aedry, I have needs, girl.”
“Clearly.” I carry the plates and silverware from the kitchen to where I made up a small dining area in my living room. As I set my borrowed table, I do my best to explain my situation. “His mother was a virgin before Sal’s father came along. His father wasn’t good to his mother and I think it hurt Salvatore to see her in pain. From what his brothers tell me, she’s the only woman he’s ever loved.”
“Mm. He has daddy issues.”
I place the fork down over the carefully folded napkin. “Yes.”
“And mommy issues.”
“Apparently.”
“And now, because of it, he won’t touch you.”
I sigh. “I think so.”
“Well, that sucks.”
“I know,” I agree, trying not to grumble at the thought. “It explains why he reacted the way he did when he found out I was a virgin.”
“Yeah. It does. I think you should put it all out there. Let him know you have experience, even though you haven’t played the ‘V’ card. Otherwise, he may never touch you―you do want him to touch you, right?”
My body heats at the thought. “You might say that.”
“Then, go for it. In the meantime, I’ll look online for naughty prairie maiden outfits. I may be able to find something cheap now that Halloween’s over.”
“You’re a real friend, Autumn.”
We disconnect at almost the same time Salvatore rings the front door. I buzz him in, but I’m not expecting the condition I find him in when I open the door.
His right eye is horrifically swollen and an array of bruises line his jaw. “Holy―what the―shit!”
I haul him inside. “I’m fine, Kansas,” he says.
I place him on the couch. “No. You’re not. You need ice.” My gaze sweeps over his face again. “Lots and lots of ice.” I hurry into the kitchen and sort through my bags of frozen vegetables. “What happened?”
“Donnie wanted to go into the city for lunch at this restaurant she heard about. It wasn’t in the best part of town and some guys gave us trouble on the way out.”
I reach for a towel to wrap the frozen bag of corn in, my movements slowing as his words sink in. “I thought you weren’t seeing Donnie today.”
“What?”
I walk slowly back into the living area, my hands squeezing the bag with how nervous I suddenly feel. “When you called me this morning, you said someone else was watching her today.”
He straightens slightly. I stop with my knees just in front of his. “You weren’t with Donnie, were you?”
He tightens his jaw, a motion that must kill him considering how swollen it is. “No,” he says.
Silence settles between us, neither of us moving or speaking. It’s as if he’s waiting for me to ask him to leave and not come back. But I don’t.
Salvatore is a hard man whose life is probably harder. But that glimpse of vulnerability he shared with me gave me a view of his tortured soul, and a better understanding of this man I’ve completely fallen for. Instead, of pushing him away like he probably expects, I sit on his lap and place the bag of frozen corn on his face.
His arms find my waist as my free hand lifts to stroke his temple. Small soft bristles of thick hair tickle against my fingertips. He hasn’t shaved his head in a while and I’ll admit I like the way it feels beneath my touch. What I don’t like are the lies.
“What really happened today?” I ask.
He waits, as if debating whether to speak. “You know how I work security for Donnie’s lover, Vincent?”
“Yes.”
“I mostly watch Donnie, but sometimes I have to watch Vin, too.”
“He’s successful, but not the way corporate men are in the city. Most of his businesses are small, delis, bars, some mom and pop shops. They’re scattered throughout the Tri-State and not in the best areas.”
“Why doesn’t he just move them to better locations?” I ask, once more taking in his injuries. “Or invest in other means.”
His voice lowers. “You take businesses out of struggling areas, it destroys what’s left of the economy. The area turns to shit and never comes back. Look at all the places that have ever had riots. Businesses leave, but it’s the residents who suffer.”
He considers me a moment, as if debating whether to continue. “Early today, he was rounding on some bars he owns in Newark. I went with him, but word got around to the local gangs that he was in the area. We got jumped on the way out.”
“My God,” I say. “A gang tried to rob you?”
“They tried,” he says. “Since I was with him, they didn’t succeed.”
I cover my mouth. “Did you call the police?”
“We did, but the police can’t do shit until after the fact. That’s why I’m late. We had to fill out a bullshit report.”
“Salvatore, I don’t like this,” I say. “Anything could have happened to you. Those people could have had guns—”
He takes the bag in my hand and tosses it on the table, then clasps the back of my neck and pulls me in for a deep kiss. “I don’t want to think about them anymore,” he says between kisses. “Not when I’m here with you.”
He slips off the scarf I’m wearing and dips his mouth to claim my neck. I’ll admit, his switch from tough guy to lover catches me off guard. That doesn’t mean I don’t welcome his tongue or the brush of his hard chest against my breasts.
As my muscles tense further, he breaks away. “What’s wrong?” he asks. I don’t answer. He frowns. “Do you want me to stop?”
Heat crawls its way along my face. “No,” I admit.
He glides his hand between my breasts. “Why does it feel like something’s wrong?”
“It’s not that anything’s wrong,” I say, my skin warming further.
“What is it?” He cocks his head. “If you have something to say, just say it. I don’t want things to come between us.”
Neither do I. I owe him the truth, not that it’s an easy truth to share. “I’m not ready for sex,” I tell him. “But I am ready for more than kissing.”
He leans back a little, watching me closely. “Yeah?”
I force the word out. Salvatore is simply that intimidating. “Yes.”
His already gravelly voice grows gruff. “Have you messed around in the past?”
Without meaning to, I laugh, causing him to smirk. I
should be embarrassed and I am, but laughing seems to lift the tension I’m feeling. “Just because I’m a virgin, doesn’t mean I’m completely inexperienced. I’ve done plenty of things with other men . . .” My voice fades in time with his deepening frown. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask, realizing he’s majorly pissed.
“I don’t want to think about you with other men.”
What remains of my humor dissolves. I know exactly what he means. Envisioning him with other women in any capacity absolutely crushes me. But neither of us can change our pasts, or the fact we’ve experienced intimacy with other people.
“I’m not with those men now,” I assure him. “Nor do I want to be.”
He keeps his expression tight, but his strokes along my spine remain tender. “I still don’t like it,” he murmurs.
The intensity behind his gaze drills straight through me, stimulating every part of me that for too long has been ignored, including my heart.
Yet, it’s what he says next that fires a need only he can invoke. “You’ve had your breasts touched, your nipples sucked?” he asks, his voice lowering with every word.
My breath quickens as I struggle to speak. “Yes,” I manage.
His hand leaves my back to slide around my hip. “Have you had fingers slip beneath your panties?”
Now he’s the one breathing hard. “Yes,” I stammer, trying to keep from trembling.
“Did you like it?” His fingers dig into the fabric of my dress as he reaches my inner thigh.
“It’s been . . . okay,” I gasp.
He leans forward, whispering close against my ear. “Just okay?” he asks, his hand lowering.
“Um.” Oh, my God, I have nothing better.
His fingertips swirl, grazing just above my folds. “And has anyone kissed you here?” he teases, two fingers skimming down. “Licked you until you were begging for it―”
My cell phone timer goes off, making me jump.
“Damn it.” I reach for it on the coffee table and tap the screen to silence it. He withdraws his hand and chuckles. “Sorry―sorry,” I add.