by Belle Kayce
Lance’s head turns to where I am momentarily staring in horror, and I impulsively place my hands on his eyes.
“Don’t!” I screech. “Close your eyes tightly, turn around slowly, and pretend you didn’t see anything.”
“Alright.” His voice is laced with amusement.
“Are your eyes closed?”
“Yes.”
“Should I believe you?” I ask, wondering why I am teasing him.
“Always.”
I slowly peel my hands away from his eyes. Sure enough, his eyes are shut, but his mouth twitches up.
“Now, turn around.”
Lance turns around, too slow for my liking, but at least the view of my room is already away from his sight.
“Now, just walk away. Act like you’ve seen nothing, Lance Stryder. Let me know you understand.”
“I’ve seen nothing,” he repeats.
He walks further and I quickly shut my room. I lock it, then turn around to my mess of a room. My ankle hurts too much to clean right now, but I’m putting the Victoria’s Secret bag into the farthest depths of my closet.
***
I stare at my phone and lay down on my bed per Lance’s order. I accidentally let the phone fall to my face.
Dang it! Why does this always happen?
I sit up and sift through my messages. I haven’t heard from Julia in a while, and all Lisa has said is, “we’re good”.
I miss them so much. I miss mom and dad, my sister, and my best friend who might as well be a sister.
I just want to see them and hear their voices.
Julia isn’t the type of person to make me worry like this. She’s always good about sending me a message on my phone to say she’s okay. It’s really hard to know what is going on there, if she’s okay. The constant worry I have will not go away soon.
When I’m stressed out, I either eat a lot or don’t eat at all.
I’m currently in the not-eating-at-all phase, and Cook is taking notice.
“You didn’t complain about your iron pill,” Cook comments.
I look up from my plate and give him a fake smile. “Yeah.”
I guess I should stop complaining all the time and being dramatic, but I’m just not in the mood. I feel like a zombie right now. I don’t know what Lance is going to do with Paxon. I don’t even know what I want right now. I’m stuck in this place, and I need to get out. Go somewhere.
“But I also see you haven’t eaten anything from your plate.” Cook gives me a look of concern. “Is it something you don’t like?”
I look down at my plate of grilled chicken, broccoli, and some brown rice. He’s right. I only took a bite of the chicken, which is surprisingly flavorful, but that is it.
“Oh, no, anything you make is awesome.” I shake my head. “I just don’t have an appetite.”
“Ava, I also noticed you didn’t touch your breakfast either. That was six hours ago.”
“I’m just . . . . stressed.” I sigh. First world problems.
“Stressed? Is something or someone bothering you?” Cook asks. “I love Lance like he’s my own, but I can beat him up for you if you’d like.”
I smile. “It’s not him. It’s just my friend from my old pack. I’m worried.”
“Ah, I see.” Cook washes his hands in the sink. “I don’t know everything, but I surmised your peculiar predicament. You can have one of the pack members to go there and check up on your family and friends for you.”
“I can?”
“Well, you’re the luna.” Cook gives me a knowing smile. “You can basically do everything.”
Hmm. The thing is, he’s right.
***
I barge into Lance’s office without knocking. Lance lifts his head up from some paper he is looking at and our eyes meet. Momentarily forgetting what I wanted to say, I let out a small squeaky “hey” to him.
“Ava,” Lance greets, surprise evident in his voice. He stands up, gesturing to the chairs in front of him. “Please make yourself comfortable.”
“I want to talk to you about something,” I say before I forget what I want to say again. I walk towards the nice leather chair in front of his desk. After I sit down, he does the same.
“You could have called me. I don’t want your ankle to hurt coming up the stairs,” he says. “What is it?” he asks, leaning forward.
”Don’t exclude me out of anything that relates to dealing with Paxon.” This is important because I need to make sure we get it right, that I get it right. I heard with my own ears who killed his mate, and Paxon deserves to know.
“Okay,” Lance agrees.
“Okay?” I ask.
“Okay,” Lance repeats, nodding.
“Okay. Okay, if I hear that word one more time, I’m going to scream.”
Bo enters the room, looking at us like we’re interesting pieces of meat. “You guys don’t need to be reenacting The Fault in Our Stars.” Bo sits at the chair next to me, leans back, then weaves both hands together at the back of his head. He looks at both of us expectantly. “Don’t stop on my account. This conversation is so interesting.”
I roll my eyes. “Or you could stop eavesdropping on us like some animal.”
“Technically, we are—”
“That reminds me, Bo bear,” I say to him sweetly, giving him my biggest smile, “I have a request of you.”
“Oh?” Bo looks at Lance, and I look at him too. Lance looks interested in what I’m about to say. Hopefully, he will not have any objections to this. “I’m not doing anything embarrassing,” Bo warns.
“I’m not you,” I shoot back. Bo clutches his heart as if I just hurt him. “What I want to ask you is of great importance.”
“Oh boy,” Bo mutters, “this is going to be fun.”
“I want you to visit my pack,” I tell him, glancing at Lance to see if he approves or not. Not that I care, Bo better do this. “My best friend, Julia, hasn’t been answering any of my messages, and I’m worried about her. Obviously, I can’t go but you can check up on her. Please.”
“Since you asked so nicely,” Bo grins at me, “sure thing. I can just say I’m passing by and make up some lame excuse.”
“In the meantime, Ava and I can go visit Paxon,” Lance says.
I swallow. Visiting Paxon is going to be where it will either turn into a crap fest or everything will finally fall into place for me. It’s been a long time coming. Whatever storm that is going to brew in for us, we have to be ready.
After I get up, I say goodbye to Lance. Bo catches up to me by the stairwell. “Wait up, Ava! There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
“Bo, I already asked Lance once today about the pool. I’m trying to keep it a once-a-day-ask-Lance kind of thing.” I sigh, looking up at him. Bo looks super nervous, which is so unlike Bo.
“No, no, it’s not that even though,” he grins,” you still have a pool to pay.”
“What’s up?” I ask him curiously. He shifts one foot to another.
“It’s nothing. I mean, it’s not nothing. It’s something, something big, and I would hate it if you didn’t know this about me—”
“Just spill. It can’t be that bad,” I tell him, laughing at how nervous he is. It’s making me nervous too. What can it be to make Bo so nervous? Is he some serial killer?
“I mean a luna’s approval is really important, and it’s really important because you’re important—”
“Bo!”
Please tell me he’s not a psychopath. Does he hate me?
“I’m gay,” Bo spills out hurriedly. He meets my eyes, and I can see him hold his breath.
“Thanks for telling me. I still love you the same.”
Bo’s face twists in relief. “Oh, glad to know. You’re not . . . well . . .”
“Homophobic?” I ask, frowning, wondering if he had to deal with anything like that with anyone close to him. “I’ll beat anyone up for you.”
“Thanks.” Bo chuckles. “I mean it. Thanks.
”
“Duh.” I roll my eyes. “I can’t let anyone hurt my Bo bear.”
“Don’t use Bo bear.” Bo groans.
“You would so love it if your mate used it on you.” I grin at him. I take a step forward “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” It kind of hurts that he didn’t think I would take it well or that he didn’t trust me with the information.
“I don’t know.” Bo rubs the back of his neck. “I thought it’d change what you think about me.”
“Well, someone must sure be stupid if being gay changes anything,” I say. “You’re one really cool cat, er, werewolf.”
“You’re not so bad yourself.” Bo smiles at me.
I roll my eyes. “I know.”
“So humble,” Bo says.
“Uh, so am I the only one who knows?” I ask.
“Definitely not. Lance was the first one I told. Cole and Meg know. Just not my . . . parents.” Bo makes a face. I nod. It’s important to ask if anyone knows because of stuff like your family not knowing.
“I’m sorry. That must suck,” I say sincerely, glad that I have a good family although I don’t know what their reaction would be if I came out gay myself.
“Grandmother Sebastian wants grandkids,” Bo mutters. “It sucks big time. She keeps on saying it at every family meeting, how she can’t wait for my pups.”
“You can always adopt if you ever want ‘em.” I shrug. There’s not much abandonment of pups, but some wolves would give their children away if they had them with someone who is not their mate. Those wolves are usually the lone wolves and the runts of the pack. They need help. “Any pup would be lucky to have you. You were so good with lil Edith.”
“Edith.” Bo sighs. “Miss her.”
“Me too.” I frown. “It feels like the pack house is so empty without her.”
“I know.” Both Bo and I are thinking of that chubby munchkin baby. “We should visit her soon.”
“After you’re done doing some werewolf spying for me,” I hint.
“That’s going to be so much fun. Going to enemy territory.”
“If anything happens—”
“They wouldn’t do anything to me.” Bo shrugs. “I can always lie about where I think you are. I get out of dire situations, maybe not always in style, but I make a way. That is if anything were to ever happen.”
I don’t buy it. Maybe it is a bad idea for him to go.
“They don’t know anything, Ava. It’ll be fine. I’m just going to investigate and come straight back.”
“It’ll be a breeze.” I hope.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Everyone is out doing something important, so I don’t have someone to watch television with.
But, for some reason, Cole is in the living room with me. This is an unlikely pairing. His presence here makes me feel like I should talk to him. I haven't even tried getting to know him. Underneath that intense exterior is heart break, especially with what Lance had told me.
I sneak another glance at Cole.
"Is there something you would like to say, luna?" Cole asks me, breaking our silence.
Busted.
"Nope," I shake my head, lying. "Just, uh, I really think you're cool."
Cole raises an eyebrow and looks up from his phone. "Thank you.” A pause. "What is it, luna?"
"Okay, one, call me by my name." I cough a little. "I'm sorry by the way." I haven't had a chance to speak with him after I heard about his horrible past.
Cole sighs. "It's not your fault, lu . . . Ava. Lance told you, I assume."
"We were talking about how much Steven sucks." I shrug.
Cole gives a small snarl at the mention of Steven's name.
"You don't deserve that. No one does," I say gently. "I guess what I want to ask you is if you're happy now."
Cole looks at me in surprise.
"I didn't want to live after . . . he beat me, but Lance saved me in a way." Cole looks like he's remembering something. "I told Lance I'd be anything he wanted. He told me, 'You're free to do whatever you want in my pack'. I'm sure if I ask if I could be the alpha, he'd give it to me. I realized who Lance was then. Everyone heard rumors about Noctis Luna and about Lance, and I was intrigued. I thought Lance was the one who took over packs and triedto reign supreme—he has the power to do so—but he just does his own thing. He doesn't interfere with other packs’ business unless he's trying to help them out."
I grunt. "Well now, because of me, he can't mind his own business."
Cole gives a low chuckle. "I don't think he minds it for you. Paxon should listen to what you have to say." After a pause, Cole says, "I believe you too, Ava, about Steven killing Vanessa."
"Thanks." I smile nervously. "I don't know if Paxon will believe me or not."
"You have my unwavering support when we get there."
My lips tremble a little. I think about how Cole was as an alpha, probably a great one.
"Lu . . . Ava? What's wrong?" Cole is looking at me in concern, and I shake my head.
"It's nothing. I don't know why. I'm just getting emotional," I brush it off. First, Lance, and now this. It must be something in the water that gets me all emotional like this. "You're awesome, Cole. Just keep being awesome."
"Are you sure you're alright?" His eyes are looking at me like I might burst out in tears.
"Yeah, just . . . if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."
Silence.
"I tried to break the bond with her," Cole tells me suddenly. "When I figured out what she did, I wanted to reject her. I had only known her for a few months. Steven was my beta. It seemed like she was in love with him. I didn't know. I was so stupid then, trying to think everything was fine in my pack, that I could be like my father. But," Cole leans back, shrugging, "I wouldn't change anything. Noctis Luna is a place where changes my father wanted would be possible, and it’s also something that I want. Lance shares the same ideals I do when it comes to packs. I will follow him to my last breath," Cole glances at me, "as I would follow you."
"Hm, say I tell you to punch Lance," I say hypothetically.
"Then he must have done something that would make me also want to punch him."
I grin. "I don't know much about packs, but I'm starting to, and you're right. Lance does want change. Can you believe packs still use a whipping post?"
Cole's mouth sets in a grim line. "In an alpha meeting, Lance tried to propose the ban, but many elder alphas disagreed and wouldn't hear of it. The younger generation can stop it though, if they stopped listening to everything their parents tell them."
"Alpha meeting?" I knit my eyebrows.
"Alphas meet at least once a year to discuss things between packs. Usually, it is to let packs know about new territories or new policies, like banning whipping."
"How do you guys all agree?"
Cole gives a harsh laugh. "We don't. There are the progressive ones and then there those that want to keep traditions, including the whippings. Many alphas don't like changing the old ways."
"The old ways suck." I snort. They need a huge reality check.
Cole nods in agreement. "They do."
***
Meg asks me if I can go to the daycare to take care of the pups later in the day. I agreed to take her position for the day because, let's face it, I have nothing better to do. Anything to keep my mind off of my family, Julia, and Lance.
It's been three whole days with Lance has been away. Not that I'm anxious or counting or anything.
What better way to get your mind off things by helping out with the children?
When I get to the place that Meg showed me, I see that it's a pretty decent-sized building, and I walk into where the entrance is with sliding doors.
A tall woman with killer black heels and a high-placed bun is the first person I meet.
"You must be Ava," she says. "I'm Heather, one of the teachers here."
"Hey," I say, shaking her hand.
"The children are all outside, and if y
ou need help, I'll be right in my office," Heather tells me warmly.
I gulp when I look outside. There is a huge playground with pups screaming. I've never worked with pups before, but I know they're hilarious.
I walk outside the daycare. There is a huge fence surrounding the area, where the pups can play. I scan the area for any children that look like they need a friend as much as I do.
Three small pups all run up to me, looking up at me. "Are you Alpha Lance's wife?" a girl with a Dora-the-Explorer haircut asks me.
"No." I shake my head, laughing a little. That would be something.
"Then, what are you?" another girl with these huge chocolate brown eyes look up at me. Her hair is a cute little afro.
"The love of his life?" another girl intervenes, wearing her black hair with pig tails, looking so cute and adorable.
"Something like that," I tell them. They all ooh and ahh.
The Dora-look-alike says, "I'm Cindy." She points to pig-tails. "That's Wendy and this is Gwen. We all love Alpha Lance because sometimes we make him play with us."
I'm taken by surprise by this new piece of information. I imagine Lance, all tall and serious, playing with kids. I smile at the thought.
"I'm Ava. Nice to meet you." I wave at them.
"You know, I hope I get to have some hunky wolf like our alpha." Wendy sighs dreamily.
Is this seven-year-old lusting after Lance? Looks like I have some tough competition.
I laugh a little. "You will someday and you better make sure he treats you right."
"Does Alpha treat you like a queen?"
He does give me whatever I want. "Yeah, in a way. You're all queens though in my eyes."
"Really?" Gwen asks, eyes wide. "Why doesn't Oliver think so?"
"Oliver . . . he, he is so mean to Gwen and calls her fat," Cindy says.
"Whoever this young brat is making fun of your weight needs to get taught a lesson." We make our way to where the younger male pups are playing and laughing. "Which one is it?"
Gwen points to this tall lanky pup who is laughing loudly. "Him. He's the bully."
"Oliver," I call. The lanky pup looks at Gwen and sneers. He marches towards us with some other kids. His posse, I presume. This one pup that's walking next to him has snot dripping from his nose. Eeck.