by Belle Kayce
Another emotion hits me: sadness. I try to blink back tears. I think about how the people I lived with aren’t my parents. Maybe this is true. A tiny annoying voice in my mind tells me it is. It is true. Lance looks physically hurt seeing me like this. It’s too much for me to handle at this moment. I want to just crawl in a corner and never see daylight again.
“The one you know as your father is your biological father. You haven’t been lied to about that. Your mother is the witch.” Lance suddenly digs into the pocket of his dark jeans. “Remember when Paxon told you that you look like his dead mate?”
I nod slowly, thinking back on the moment I first met Paxon. “You look like Vanessa.”
I don’t think I want to hear this.
Lance holds out a picture to me, and I take it reluctantly. I see her. She must be Vanessa, the one that is turning my life upside down. In the picture, Paxon is next to her, smiling and looking more alive than when I saw him. I see it now. I do look like her. She’s hard to miss. Her amber eyes seem to glow even through the picture, and her brown hair’s length is almost the same as mine, which is a few inches down my shoulder.
I almost look like the spitting image of her. The only difference is that my skin is darker.
My half-sister, the one I could’ve known, loved, and looked up to. But I’ll never know her, never meet her. I can only see her through this picture, and she looks so beautiful. Her smile looks like she knows a secret she’d never tell you as she looks straight at the camera. Paxon’s clear joy and happiness shines in this picture as he looks at her. That’s what I call love. You can see it in Paxon’s eyes. A pang of sadness hits me for Paxon and the destruction he must be feeling. I wonder if he will ever find happiness like that again. It’s clear he loved her, still loves her.
“I’m surprised Paxon gave you this,” is the only thing I can muster to say.
“It’s not Paxon’s,” Lance tells me. “His beta, Sargon, gave me a picture of his twin sister.”
I hold the picture even tighter. I’m sure it’s going to crinkle up. Brother. I have a brother. My hands are shaking now.
“He told me his mother—your mother—left them when he was young. I think, at that point in time, your mother found your father and conceived you.”
I lean on my pillow, putting the picture next to me, trying to process everything he just told me.
“Ava.” Lance’s voice is very gentle, and he squeezes my hand. Something about his hand is so comforting, I want to cry. If one thing in my life is certain right now, it’s him. At least I know he’s my mate.
“Can I just be left alone?” I look down, closing my eyes, hoping this is some sort of nightmare. How can my entire life be a one big fat lie? My mom and dad is lying to me? Does Lisa know too? This entire time, they didn’t say anything?
“I’m a witch too.”
My head shoots up. I meet his gaze, and my eyes go as wide as saucers.
“Wh-what?” I ask him, totally confused. He hasn’t disclosed much information about his past. The only thing I know is that he has a vampire for a brother, and he’s some big shot at the alpha war.
Lance continues, “My mother was a witch. Typically, it depends on what genes are more dominant . It depends if you’re a strong witch or not, but having a father that was an alpha, my werewolf genes dominated over my witch genes. In your case, it’s as if the wolf genes and witch genes are balanced. I do think your witch genes will be more more dominant, so your mother must have been more powerful. It could also be because your father isn’t an Alpha or even a beta. He doesn’t have a very dominating gene.”
Lance’s mother was a witch? My mother was a witch too? Totally did not see that coming.
“How did I even created those fires?” I ask suddenly. Then I remember Alpha Kade grabbing me and then having a headache after. Tiffany asked me how I was able beat Kade. Was that my magic too?
Lance sneaks a glance at me then quickly looks away. He knows something.
“Lance?”
Lance clears his throat. “If magic like that is sudden, it’s because of emotion. Your feelings.”
With Kade, I felt threatened. Maybe my magic surfaced without me knowing.
Oh my gosh. During the time we were at the infirmary and he kissed my knee, a fire just emerged . . .
“You knew this?” I ask weakly.
“I didn’t think anything of it at first. After that, the curtains went on fire, and now the rogues. I’m thinking about what could have caused the strong feelings, and I just thought . . .” Lance pauses for a second. “I thought that those feelings were of hatred.”
My heart constricts for a second. Lance thinks I hate him? “I don’t think I could ever hate you,” I tell him honestly, my gaze colliding with his. Something in his eyes flicker, but it’s gone in an instant. Unexpectedly, he reaches out to me, engulfing my hand with his. Something about his hand is so comforting, I want to cry. If one thing in my life is certain right now, it’s him. At least I know he’s my mate.
“Well, we’ve always known something was messed up about me,” I start.
“Nothing is wrong with you, and it doesn’t change anything.”
I want to change the subject. Fast. I don’t like where this is going. It’s too much pain to handle. There’s too much change happening that I can’t fully comprehend.
“C-can you do magic too?” I ask him.
Lance shakes his head. “Only . . . when I shift into my wolf.”
I narrow my eyes at this. Interesting. I’ve never seen his wolf. In fact, I distinctly remember Cole telling me he can’t shift and didn’t give me a reason for it.
“Tell me something else,” I say, wanting to know a little more since he’s telling me about himself. ”Is it true you killed six alphas when you were only fourteen?” I don’t want to beat around the bush. I have to hear it straight from his mouth. Everyone seems so assured of Lance beating these alphas, but he never talks about it.
“Yes,” Lance says hesitantly, “and I regret it every single day.”
No wonder he never says anything about it. He is so humble. I bet if this is any other alpha, he’d have it on a plaque in his office.
“W-why did you do it?” I ask. I think, deep down, I want him to tell me it isn’t true. This wolf right in front of me is actually so caring and kind. I cannot imagine him doing something so horrible. It was war, I know, but why?
“I . . .” Lance takes a deep breath.
I’ve never seen him look so vulnerable before.
“You have to know something about me first. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how to bring it up. I probably am going to scare you.”
I swallow. It couldn’t be that bad, could it?
Could it?
“You can’t scare me anymore, I think.” I laugh a little, more out of nervousness than anything else. “I just figured out my whole life’s a lie. I have a mother who I never knew, a sister who I’ll never know, and a brother out there. Also, I just figured out that I’m a witch.” We both momentarily look at each other like we both realize our lives suck.
Lance takes a sharp inhale. “I’m cursed.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Eight years ago
The worst cruelty to be endured is the gradual kind.
Lance entered his pack at the age of thirteen, much to the chagrin of his dad, Damien Stryder, King of Vampires. He argued with his dad about letting him go back to his roots. He wanted to see Xavier, his biological father.
Damien lied to him about his biological father not being alive.
One day, Xavier showed up out of the blue when Lance was out in the park. Xavier introduced himself as his biological father. Angry at Damien and wanting to hurt him for keeping such a secret from him, Lance demanded to live with Xavier for the time being.
“He needs to shift soon,” Xavier told Damien that day. “I’m sure a vampire has no idea what to do.”
“You’ll need to tell Zeke,” Damien told Lance
. It was something Lance didn’t wish to do in the future or at all.
As Lance packed his belongings, he felt guilty for leaving his brother. He never wanted to see Zeke upset. Zeke always smiled at him with nothing but admiration.
Lifting the small duffel bag up, Lance pulled the straps on his shoulders.
Zeke was pressing down soil in a small terra cotta pot, his face full of concentration.
“Lancey! I just planted my first strawberry seed. Soon, I can have strawberries whenever I want. Pretty neat, isn’t it?”
Unable to speak the words to his younger brother, Lance felt his throat clog. It was easy to manifest his anger at his dad. It was different with Zeke.
Looking up, Zeke met Lance’s gaze. Zeke’s grin instantly fell.
“What’s wrong?” his little brother asked him.
Lance couldn’t meet his brother’s eyes. “I’m leaving to go to my pack.”
The pot shattered into pieces, and Zeke took a step back. Lance started, “Zeke—“
Zeke vanished from in front of him.
Walking out of the castle in defeat, Lance met his biological dad with tired eyes.
Damien stood next to Lance. “Take care of my son, Xavier.”
Xavier pulled Lance into an unfamiliar hug while he narrows his eyes at the vampire king. “Don’t worry. I will.”
***
In about a month, the cruelty began.
“You will never have a mate.”
Xavier stared at Lance in complete contempt. It was an offhand comment that Xavier would always make to him. The look Damien was giving him was something that Lance had never been used to. He never grew up with this look from his Damien.
Lance wondered what caused it all of a sudden. Stiffly, he stood in front of Alpha Xavier’s desk. Even Lance had to respect and submit to the alpha of Noctis Luna. Not saying anything was better than to speak back to Xavier.
His mother once loved Xavier, he knew, but her true mate was Damien. Damien always spoke about his mother. She was a strong and powerful witch. He used to wonder if there was ever a time Xavier ever loved his mother.
If Lance did not defy his dad, Lance would have never known the cruelty of Xavier. It was a slow, gradual process after living with him for less than a year. He ultimately came because Damien also thought Xavier could help Lance shift.
“Have nothing to say?” Xavier asked, daring him. “Are you mute?”
“May I leave?” Lance asked just as the door opened. The beta, Thane, walked in. Thane was his father’s spitting image in everything, except Thane was bald and had a scar running across his eye.
“Thane,” Xavier’s voice was lighter. “Tell me you have the good news.”
“The witches are located in the northern parts of the mountain, Alpha Xavier.”
“Excellent.” Xavier turned his attention back to Lance. When his icy blues met with the Lance’s aqua ones, Xavier smiled wickedly. “We need to figure out how to control your wolf. Who knows what power it possesses when you shift.”
Lance could not get out of the pack house fast enough as he walked along the worn path that only he and Jeff used to get to their hideaway spot every single day.
Leaving his home at Haven’s Way, where he lived in the castle with Zeke, Lance thought it would not be easy to make friends. As soon as he got to the pack, Lance met Jeff in the kitchen, who was a helper and the “pack runt”. Lance was thirteen and Jeff was sixteen at that time. Regardless of being a runt or being older than him, Jeff was the kindest soul Lance had ever met in the pack. He was the only wolf he met that was nice to him. Being the runt and the kitchen help, Jeff had little to offer, but he still gave his small portion of food to Lance when he was prohibited from eating. Quickly, they became best friends. Jeff’s kindness was something Lance admired greatly. Wolves always thought kindness was a weakness, but Lance thought it to be the greatest thing someone could have.
Jeff just came back from something he called a “horrible family dinner gathering”, which Jeff’s aunt and uncle hosted. Jeff thought it was the worst thing ever.
Jeff’s small frame came into view, and Lance was relieved Jeff didn’t look too angry from the dinner.
“How did your family meeting go?” Lance asked.
Jeff groaned loudly and laid down on the grass. They both enjoyed being away from the pack house and the rest of the pack. They usually stayed at a small meadow they found when they were wandering the area as kids.
“Not that good?”
“My cousin, Bo, wouldn’t stop talking,” Jeff said. “He also tried to prank his own parents, but that didn’t work out, and we both got lectured on how we should respect our elders. I didn’t even do anything!” Jeff took a sharp inhalation of breath. “I love that annoying pesky cousin of mine because his parents are really strict and you know . . . conservative.”
“What do you mean?” Lance asked.
“Bo is gay. His parents want him to have pups someday. Grandma wouldn’t stop talking about it. They keep pushing him, not me.” Jeff snorted.
There were wolves that did not think being gay is “natural” because they had backwards mentality that thought mates were only meant for procreating, which was the worst thing Lance ever heard.
“I don’t think many people know the meaning of what a mate is,” Lance murmured, bringing his knees to chest and tucking his chin under them. “Having pups isn’t even a big part of anything.” It physically pained him when he thought about it and how he was constantly reminded that he’d never get one. The idea of someone loving him unconditionally was too good to be true. If he knew anything about this life, it was that something that great would never happen to him. ”You’re a monster”. His father’s voice echoed in his mind.
“Don’t worry. We all can’t be special like me.” Jeff grinned.
Lance smiled softly for his friend. He was genuinely happy that Jeff got her as a mate, and they only found each other two weeks ago. Jeff acted like a tough guy on the outside, but inside he was a mess that Lance found humor in. Jeff did not have the nerve to talk to his mate at all. Every time they saw each other, Jeff just gawked like a fish.
Lance raised an eyebrow, “I don’t think she likes you all that much.”
“She’s been staring at me a lot,” Jeff scoffed. “Why do you think she comes to the kitchen so many times?”
“To eat?” Lance suggested. Jeff rolled over, and pushed Lance, but Lance did not budge.
“Are you made of steel or something,” Jeff grumbled, getting up. “Come on. I have a mate that I need to stare back at.”
“I think maybe you should try to talk to her,” Lance squinted at Jeff.
“Shut up.”
As they made their way back to the pack house, Jeff announced, “I want to get out of here. I want to go out there in the world and explore. I just need to save more money and then I’m off.”
“Where would you like to go?”
“Japan,” Jeff said. “Definitely Japan. What about you? Where’d you go?” Lance looked away. He didn’t even dream of going any place. The trivial thought would have been laughed at from Xavier.
“I...” Lance hesitated. “I’ve never got to swim. I would like to go somewhere near the ocean one day. It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah, it is,” Jeff sighed wistfully. “We both should leave this place.”
“You can run off with your mate,” Lance said.
“And leave you to fend by yourself?” Jeff scoffed.
Lance watched as Jeff made conversation with his pack mates. Jeff could carry on a conversation so easily, Lance wished he could talk to his pack mates. It was difficult. Lance knew his pack mates thought him to be somewhat erratic and odd. Even if Jeff was the so called runt of the pack, he could talk to anyone about anything. Lance had trouble even saying a greeting without looking like a complete fool. Jeff told him once he needed to know more social skills and how to make friends. Jeff told him that Lance could not only have his brother as a f
riend.
“I have Reggie and Iggy,” Lance told him. Thinking both of them were close to him.
When Jeff’s mate was sneaking glances at him, Jeff turned back to Lance, and quickly grabbed his shoulder. “She’s too beautiful how do I even talk to her? What would I say to a goddess of that caliber?”
“You sell yourself short,” Lance said to his friend. Although, he didn’t know anything about love.
Jeff smiled, sighing deeply. “Everyone needs a Lance in their life.”
Lance shook his head, “It is I who is the lucky one.”
“You know you’re right,” Jeff grinned, laughing. “I am pretty awesome.”
***
It was the day before the Alpha War.
The day before Lance would shift at the age of 14.
Xavier was standing in front of the entrance to the house. Waiting for him. Lance’s stomach turned as he saw Xavier give him a smile. Never a good sign.
Lance truly had no place inside the pack. Xavier made clear when he locked Lance up in the dungeons for months. The cruelty of Alpha Xavier was known amongst all of the supernatural creatures. Except they did not know what it did to his son.
Zeke would talk to him, asking about visiting all the time as did Damien, but Xavier kept making excuses as to what Lance needed to do- travel, go places. Lance never did those things.
Xavier was always watching what Lance did. Who Lance talked to. Making a strict policy on the pack to not let vampires in.
“We’ll see about what can ever keep me away from my son,” Damien told Xavier on the phone once.
Lance thought it too good to be true. Five months with Xavier was brutal for him.
Taking over small packs was a sport for someone like Xavier. He ruined lives. Took them. Buried them. Feeding off the weak because, Lance had realized, Xavier was a weak wolf himself. Xavier could only control over the powerless. Never someone that was a challenge.
This is what made Xavier a complete coward to Lance’s eyes. He made those smaller packs fear him which in turn made them hate him.