by Emma Dean
“I watched you and Armad train in the mornings,” she admitted, tilting her head to study him. He looked even bigger than before, if that were even possible. The training with the older raven had been good for him.
“I didn’t see you.” His red eyes glowed at her in irritation.
Mika grinned. “I know.”
She felt nothing but relief. His anger was waning, and she was just so…tired. But fighting him, sparring – it felt good. It reminded her of her place in this world, just like the training had done. It grounded her, the same way the plants and nature did.
The blood magic was all she knew otherwise, and it was…
It was everything and nothing. It was the reason her sister was dead. It was the reason other witches had turned against them. It was a skill too powerful for the rest of the world to accept.
“A new spell?” Corbin asked, eyeing the way she held the knives she’d conjured, forged with her own blood. “I don’t even care,” he admitted when she didn’t respond. “I just want to talk to you, find out how you’re doing.”
“Well, since you didn’t win, I suppose I don’t have to tell you anything,” she said with a shrug, taunting him.
Mika kept her knives but turned and headed towards the temple.
She hoped he would attack her.
This fight – it was the first time she’d felt anything in weeks.
Corbin appeared in front of her like a phantom and his snarl should have scared the sense into her – he was an assassin after all. But Mika only smiled, grateful he wasn’t giving up.
She dodged his first strike and then his second. Mika twisted and drove her knife into his side, but Corbin was too fast. It only nicked him. He hissed at her in irritation, and then finally came at her with all the training a raven assassin possessed.
Mika lasted longer than she thought she might, but she was still pinned to the tree and breathing hard in less than a minute.
“Talk to me,” Corbin demanded.
She grinned, tasting blood. Mika licked it from her teeth and held up her hands, the knives melting back into her skin. “What would you like to talk about?”
His grip on her softened and Mika felt her feet hit the ground. “Why wouldn’t you let me in?” he asked.
Finally, the real question.
The question she would have to answer for each of them.
Because I’m a monster, and I had to find out what kind.
That was the answer she wanted to give, but Mika knew Corbin didn’t care about her darkness. None of them did. That wouldn’t be good enough. She had to tell them all the other truth.
Mika refused to feel guilty for trying to put it off for as long as possible.
“I didn’t want you to see me broken,” she whispered. “I didn’t want anyone trying to make me feel better about what I did. And I didn’t want to have to pretend.”
His grip on her tightened at those words. She watched the red flare and then drain into his gorgeous green. Mika heard him grit his teeth and she could practically feel the strain in his muscles as he kept from lashing out.
Not at her, never at her.
But at whatever those words told him – that he wasn’t enough? She wasn’t sure.
“Why would you have to pretend?” he finally asked, letting her go completely.
“I would have to pretend to be anything but what I am,” she told him, brushing the dirt and leaves from her clothes. “That I’m not…this.” Mika gestured at herself vaguely, knowing it was difficult to understand.
It wasn’t easy to explain in words either. So, Mika sliced her thumbnail along the inside of her wrist. She kept it sharp for exactly this purpose now.
Corbin watched as her blood gushed from the wound, but he didn’t lose his shit. He just waited.
Mika visualized one of the spells she’d memorized, so strange and dark, but exactly what she needed.
A second version of her took form and Mika stared at the phantom of herself. It lasted a few hours and was able to do what Mika did, but it couldn’t speak. It was what she’d used to trick Corbin and Armad into thinking she was still on her property when she left.
“The spell says the doppelganger will only look as realistic as you can make it. It will only have as much soul as you can put into it,” she explained. Mika twirled her finger, so her doppelganger faced Corbin. “As you can see, she has no soul.”
Her eyes were completely black from corner to corner, but it didn’t have the stars and the galaxies the Morrigan’s did. This Mika was nothing more than a husk, able to do simple tasks.
“You think killing your sister took your soul?” Corbin asked, avoiding looking at the doppelganger. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. “That sounds like bullshit to me.”
“No, I still have my soul,” she admitted. “But I can’t pretend to be the Mika I was before I killed her.”
Corbin’s arms dropped to his sides. “I don’t expect you to be.”
“Yes, you do,” she said as gently as she could, wriggling her fingers in a specific pattern to dispel her doppelganger. The blood swirled through the air and back into her body thanks to how close she was to it.
“Mika, don’t you dare put words into my mouth,” he growled. “I watched over you for nearly three weeks. I’m here now, and I’m not leaving you no matter what happens. I am pledged to you whether you like it or not.”
She studied him, knowing he was right in a way. “What if I can’t get it back?”
Her hands started to tingle – the sensation terrifyingly familiar.
Before he could answer, she walked briskly to the temple, needing to feel the power that always called to her, even when she was across the country. The second she hit the stones; Mika felt like she could breathe easier. When she reached the Morrigan’s statue she fell to her knees, ignoring the sound of bone hitting stone.
Corbin was already there, waiting for her. “What if you can’t get what back?” he asked.
Plunging her hands into the fountain, the water always staying freezing cold despite the weather, Mika breathed deep. The sensation of that roaring magic trying to burst out of her skin died down.
For the first time since her sister’s death, she felt something flicker deep down.
It terrified her.
“What if I can’t feel the way I used to?” she asked. It was difficult to admit to a male she had felt so deeply for. “What if I can’t love the way I used to?”
She blinked and he was suddenly beside her. “This is normal,” he told her. “This numbness.”
Mika glanced sideways at him, studying his green eyes for any hint of a lie, but his blood pulsed steadily, and his breathing was even.
“It’s not the same numbness I felt when I found out my father had betrayed me,” she told him. “It’s not like when my mother or my grandmother died. It’s more like…” Mika trailed off and winced at the memory. “It’s more like when I was raped.”
Corbin’s eyes went from green to red in a flash, but nothing else changed. “And you came out of that eventually.”
She let out a shuddering breath, remembering those years after and everything that had come of it. “It took me three years and I lost everything. What if I’m not strong enough to do it again?”
Gently he took her hands out of the water and held them in his own warm ones. “You’re not alone this time. We all gave you the time you needed to get over the shock. Now let us in.”
Learning how to reconnect all over again sounded exhausting and she was soul weary. But there was work to be done and she planned to do it. Could she do the emotional work as well, or would it all be too much and she’d end up crumbling under the pressure?
“Let me in, Mika.”
She laced her fingers through his and looked up at him. A flash of the love she knew she felt for him went through her and she took a shuddering breath. “Okay.”
Biting her lip hard enough to bleed, she leaned forward and kissed Corbin �
� a soft and gentle kiss, laced with her blood.
His sharp inhale made her feel hot and then cold, and then hot again. Her grip on his hands tightened and she slipped her tongue in his mouth, enjoying the taste of him. Corbin bit down on his tongue and she tasted his blood as it gushed into his mouth.
It was vibrant and full of life, but also dark and delectable. Mika wanted more of him, but this exchange of her power was enough for today. Pulling back, she licked her lips and studied him.
There was a flush on his cheeks and his ruby eyes were glowing at her. Corbin was a beautiful monster, just like her.
“Ready to help me change this world?” she asked.
Corbin grinned at that. “As always, I’m at your service, dove.”
3
“Other than irritating you, leaving when I did as I did was for a reason,” Mika told Corbin as they headed toward the coliseum. Audrey was training there with Malachi. Lucien and Ethan would be watching from what she’d gathered in Audrey’s messages.
“Mm, why am I not surprised pissing me off was still at the top of the list?” Corbin mused, staying as close to her as he could without touching her.
Mika couldn’t help her grin, even if the amusement she felt was minimal. Corbin had always been able to reach down deep inside her. “The Council is no doubt tracking my every move. If not them, then the Head Witch. I needed to get a few things done before they realized where I was.”
Corbin eyed her, impressed. “Armad is tracking the Head Witch when he’s not with me. If we could tell the others in the flock…”
Mika shook her head. “Not yet, but soon.”
The surprise in his eyes lasted for only a second before it disappeared. Mika was grateful when he didn’t ask why.
What she didn’t need was an entire flock of raven assassins descending on this island, bringing more attention to her. But as soon as she’d done what she needed to, every raven on the planet could know, and she wouldn’t care.
“What exactly are you planning, dove?”
The coliseum came into view as the trees thinned and Mika felt oddly melancholy. This semester she wouldn’t get to play battle magic dodgeball. She wouldn’t be spending as much time with Audrey, and she wouldn’t get to be the college girl she’d always wanted to be.
Mika was matriarch of nothing.
But she was also a blood witch, and the world was starting to remember what it had forgotten. All she needed was to push it in the right direction, so it happened when she wanted and not as a surprise.
“I have a few things to finish up here first. My petition to let shifters into the school will go in on the official first day back. I will find what I need here regarding the blood witches, and I will enjoy Homecoming and Samhain,” Mika told him. “Well, as much as I can, given the situation.”
Corbin nodded as they started up the winding steps to the stands where they could watch the game. He could easily fly up, but that he was willing to walk with her made a small piece of her click back into place.
Neither of them made a sound as they climbed the stairs. Mika kept her voice barely more than a whisper as she spoke, keeping her senses sharp for potential eavesdroppers.
“After the challenge and everything that happened with the sacrifices last spring, it’s only a matter of time before the Council or the school tries to remove me from these grounds – from the island that is rightfully mine,” Mika gritted out, feeling the old fury rise. “The castle in the ocean, the temple…all of this is mine and I’m not going to let them just take it from me. But I will have to retreat first before I can truly reclaim it.”
Corbin didn’t say anything when they stepped out onto the top level of the coliseum. Mika followed the familiar path to the stadium seating, remembering her first day at Morgana when Audrey had been the one to lead her here.
She’d been anxious and desperate for a whole different set of reasons back then, but there was a certain level of déjà vu as she stepped out and saw Malachi on the field far below her.
The difference this time was that she knew people in the stands, and Audrey was on the field – her chosen sister had made the Morgana Marauders.
Corbin and Mika silently walked down the steps until they found Lucien and Ethan. She slipped into the shadow realm and heard Corbin chuckle when he did too. Making sure not to jostle anyone, Mika took the empty seat next to Ethan and Corbin took the one next to Lucien.
On an exhale she fully re-entered their world. “Audrey is kicking ass,” Mika stated as blandly as she could.
Ethan jumped and cursed, just as she’d hoped he would. “Fucking hell, Mika. Give me a heart attack next time. It would be kinder.”
“That can be arranged,” she teased, studying him from the corner of her eye, hoping he wouldn’t notice as he settled.
Lucien jumped when Corbin reappeared and then he glared at them both. “Showoffs.”
“You’re early,” Ethan stated carefully, eyeing her from head to toe. “How are you?”
Mika shrugged. It would be stupid to lie to him, or to Lucien with his fox senses. “I’m coping.”
“Not well, but better than I expected,” Corbin muttered.
“Considering you locked us out? Yeah, I wasn’t sure you’d come back,” Lucien told her, carefully hiding any emotion he might have on the subject. But the fox eyed her from head to toe, almost as if he saw something she could never hide.
“I almost didn’t.” But there were too many things on this island she needed.
A public place prevented Ethan and Lucien from getting weird and possessive. It prevented them from asking some of the harder questions. Mika had thought this through as well as she could despite all she’d had to deal with mentally.
Arriving two days early gave her the advantage. Mika could choose when and where and how their reunion would go. She could choose to ease into this, become familiar with them again, and still do what she needed to do.
And now a vial of the blackthorn’s blood, and hers, was hidden at the temple. Corbin had promised to get a female raven’s blood. She wasn’t sure if the spell required a female’s, but it did say daughters specifically, so she wasn’t going to chance it with Corbin’s blood.
Then she just had to find a banshee and a necromancer willing to hand a stranger their blood. Not to mention Aine – if she was even still alive. Mika would have to ask the next time she tried to speak to the Morrigan, but with how weak the goddess was she didn’t think she’d be able to contact her.
“Are you going to tell us why?” Ethan asked, turning his attention back to the players on the field.
Out of all of them, she knew Ethan was hurt the most. Corbin had been the angriest, and Lucien panicked and demanding – he went to hell to get Lucifer to force open her wards after all. But Ethan wasn’t just upset, he was hurt even if he’d respected her wishes and told her he’d be there when she was ready.
Mika didn’t know how to explain, and she didn’t think any of it would make him feel better. “It had nothing to do with you,” she murmured, knowing the words wouldn’t help. “I didn’t trust myself.”
Ethan didn’t respond to that, but she could feel him fuming beside her – very aware of the careful space she’d put between them and how she still hadn’t touched him yet.
“I’m not afraid of you,” Ethan finally told her. “What happened didn’t change that.”
A small flicker of relief eased some of her doubt. Mika hadn’t been sure despite how well she knew Ethan and Lucien. After what she’d done? She would have understood.
“Better her than you,” Lucien muttered. “And I don’t care how insensitive that sounds. I love you, Mika. All your scary magic doesn’t bother me. If anything, it’s kind of a turn on.”
She rolled her eyes at that but couldn’t help her smile. “What is it with you foxes and your infatuation with what can kill you?”
Hunter, Finnick, and Ash seemed to have the same affliction.
“We like chaos and game
s,” Lucien said, turning back to the field as well. “Not knowing what’s going to happen next is always the best part – that no matter how well I know you, there will always be something new.”
Her heart squeezed at that confession. Mika glanced at Corbin, but the raven’s eyes were on the practice game below. She watched as he threw an arm around Lucien’s shoulders and Mika felt something deep down flicker again.
Seeing them like this…even if they were mad at her, she was glad she’d done it. For herself, and for this new camaraderie between them all.
“How’s Malachi doing?” Mika asked, turning to the field as well.
She could pick Malachi out even with the helmets on. He was one of the biggest and fastest. Every spell he threw was brutal and vicious and efficient. She tilted her head slightly and watched as he and Audrey knocked out three opponents.
His style was different than last year’s. Interesting.
“Better,” Ethan admitted. “Rooming together has helped him get back into things, he says. He’s been doing good, he’s just…”
“Different,” Mika finished.
She related to that now more than ever.
Some people went through a metamorphosis in their lifetime. Some went through several. But it wasn’t always the advertised transformation where one ended up more beautiful and kinder, gentle and giving.
Sometimes the change forged a person into something new – harder and tougher and more deadly, just like iron becoming a sword.
Whatever Malachi had done over the summer had forged him into a weapon.
Mika knew the challenge had done the same to her, but she was still figuring out exactly what that meant – what kind of weapon.
When Malachi and Audrey knocked out the rest of their opponents, everyone in the stands went wild. Mika was surprised to see so many people here before the official Welcome Week. But then again, the Morgana Marauders were like rock stars. Everyone wanted to know them, to get close to them even if it was only for a moment.
“I’m glad he’s doing better.” Mika wasn’t sure what else to say to Ethan and Lucien…not yet anyway. Her plans would have to wait until they were somewhere more private.