Not sure what was going on with Kepler, but pretty sure it made me sad. I didn’t like seeing him like that.
I slid the cardboard boxes back under the table and scanned the room one last time. That was it – I had looked at every single thing in Duncan’s lab.
If the Magic Lamp existed, it wasn’t in here.
Bummer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Christmas Eve.
Fifteen minutes until the next Power Battle, and I was ready to rock. Duncan’s antigravity supersuit, which had less fabric than I originally thought, fit snug as a bug under my clothes.
I still wasn’t sure exactly how to work the suit, but I was sure it would be easy.
Millie told Joel to open his portal earlier than usual that night so the Braver Ravers could go down and set things up.
I wondered if Jennifer would be there. I wasn’t sure since it was Christmas Eve, and she was probably with family.
I was wrong.
She was waiting for us in the alley.
‘How’d you know we’d be here?’ I asked.
‘I told you,’ Jennifer said, ‘I drive by every night. I saw kids, and I parked.’
‘Sorry about last time,’ I said.
‘Why?’ Jennifer said. ‘It wasn’t your fault.’
‘Right,’ Noah said. ‘It was mine.’
‘It wasn’t anybody’s fault – the battle just got a little out of control. It happens.’
‘Why’d you just leave us like that?’ I said.
Jennifer laughed. ‘Would you believe I just panicked and ran?’
I smiled. ‘We all did the same thing.’
Penny looked around the dark alley as snow started falling. ‘Why aren’t you home with your family? It’s Christmas.’
‘If I had family, then I’d be home with them,’ Jennifer said. ‘But … my family’s gone now.’
‘Ohhh,’ Penny said awkwardly.
‘Hello?’ someone said from the end of the alley – a teenager with a few of his buddies behind him. ‘Is this where KA-POW is?’
None of us knew what he was talking about.
‘What’s KA-POW?’ Jennifer asked.
‘Like, an underground wrestling thing or something,’ he said.
Jennifer’s face turned red. ‘It’s Christmas Eve. Everything’s closed. Go home, dude.’
‘But we got a Facebook invite that said it was—’
Hoots and hollers came from inside the factory.
The Power Battle had started.
‘Oh, cool, it is here,’ the teen said.
He and his buddies walked into the building full of top secret superpowered kids.
Jennifer shook her head, groaning. ‘I better get in there to make sure this hasn’t gotten out of hand.’
The three of us followed behind her, shocked at what we saw.
The crowd that night was the biggest by far, and not all of them were Kepler students.
The teens we followed were waiting at a table, where Millie was taking admission.
‘Text your friends!’ she said, counting notes. ‘Share my Facebook invite and get a dollar off!’
I could hear Jennifer’s teeth grinding. ‘She put the name of the academy right in the title.’
When Millie saw me, she stood on her chair and belted, ‘Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you – Braverboooy!’
Everybody cheered.
And by everybody, I mean only the Braver Ravers.
Millie ran over with a gift-wrapped box. ‘I made you something for your match tonight!’ She gave me the cheesiest smile ever, pecked my cheek, and then ran back to the admission table.
All I could do was confusingly shrug as Penny stared daggers at me.
Inside the box was a cape that smelled like Millie had sprayed it with perfume. Wrapped in the cape was a custom plush doll of Braverboy.
‘Holy goats!’ Noah said. ‘Millie brought Totes!’
I turned and couldn’t even.
Like, I literally could not even.
Totes, the goat who hated giving people rides, was in his own little booth … giving people rides for two bucks a pop.
‘This is a circus,’ Jennifer said.
The crowd ohhh’d! at the two kids in the Power Battle. Noah and Penny rushed to catch the end of the match. I tried, but Jennifer pulled me back, and she did not look happy.
‘Ben, this needed to be low-key,’ she said. ‘I can ignore a few kids in an empty building, but you got a whole audience here! There’s a goat giving rides!’
Why was she getting mad at me?
‘I didn’t do this!’ I said. ‘Millie’s the one who—’
‘Don’t! The old man hates attention, which means I hate attention, and this? This is attention! This is on the edge of getting outta hand. I can’t keep this a secret if half the city knows about it!’
‘But—’
‘If I don’t report this to Lindsay, I’ll be in just as much trouble as you!’ Jennifer said. ‘You’re putting me in a terrible position, Ben!’
‘I’m not—’ I said, wanting to defend myself, but I couldn’t.
Vic shouted from the ring. ‘Five minutes, people! Ben Braver and Christie Tigerlilly, please report to the ring! Braverdork versus the Snot Rocket! Five minutes, people!’
I was next up in the Power Battle.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Five minutes later, I stood in the ring, opposite of Christie Tigerlilly – aka the Snot Rocket, a sixth grader who I hadn’t met yet.
Just like the first time I was in the ring, Millie started a chant, but this time they were saying, ‘Braver-boy! Brav-er-boy! Brav-er-boy!’
I think she wanted me to be a superhero even more than I did.
After stripping down to my supersuit, I stood at the side of the ring, feeling a draught on my inner thighs since Duncan’s suit was less of a full-body suit and more of a woman’s bathing suit.
The Snot Rocket mean-mugged me, finger under her nose to keep snot from dripping.
We walked out to the centre and bumped fists.
‘Hi, I’m Ben.’
‘I am the Snot Rocket!’ Christie shot back.
‘Yeah, no, I’m Braverboy, but my real name’s Ben. And you’re Christie, right?’
She curled her lip. ‘I am the Snot Rocket.’
Clearly she wasn’t gonna break character.
Good for her.
I waved to the Braver Ravers. They jumped like baby birdies, reaching for me like I was their mama about to puke some food into their tiny empty beaks.
Wait, no, that’s – forget I said that.
‘Battle!’ Vic proclaimed.
The Snot Rocket sneered and pulled a thick rope of yellow snot out of her nose.
It was so gross it was probably illegal.
Everyone squirmed. Pretty sure someone in the back barfed.
The Snot Rocket whipped her rope at me like she was Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom. I somersaulted out of the way as her lung butter slapped the floor like fresh guacamole.
‘My turn,’ I said, secretly activating my supersuit by slapping the gloves together.
I waited.
She waited.
The crowd waited.
I had no idea how to work the suit.
Christie jammed her thumb against a nostril and blew, firing off actual rockets of snot across the ring.
The first couple skimmed past me, but the rest of her nose nuggets splashed against my neck, exploding in a soggy mess of nastiness.
I ran around the ring, clapping my hands over and over, trying to get the suit to activate, but it just looked like I was giving myself a round of applause.
My opponent came at me screaming like a banshee, carrying a softball-size snot bomb that she smashed into my face. Snot filled my eyes, my nose, my mouth … every hole in my head!
I fell to the ground, still trying to get Duncan’s stupid suit to work.
Christie towered over me, snorting deeply, preparing
her finishing move.
And then it happened.
The suit activated.
The fabric cinched up and tickled my skin with what felt like humming. I still wasn’t sure exactly how to shoot an antigravity pulse, but Christie helped me figure it out real quick.
She craned her neck, tightened her lips, and blew her nose hard, sending a tidal wave of wet boogies my way.
I aimed my hands at her and pushed my fingers out, feeling energy zap out of my gloves. I shut my eyes and let loose a barrage of blasts, hoping one would hit her.
People screamed as chairs clanged.
Penny shouted, ‘Stop!’
Noah shouted, ‘Keep going!’
Totes shouted, ‘No free rides!’
I finally dropped my hands, and the blasts stopped.
I opened one eye.
Christie floated helplessly about a metre off the ground. So did the rest of the crowd behind her side of the ring.
I turned to face the kids behind me, who were still standing. Saucer-eyed and jaws dropped, they gazed at me in awe. The teens who had come in were blown away.
‘Best battle ever!’ Arnold declared.
Millie grabbed my arm and held it up. ‘Braverboy for the win!’
Everyone went ballistic, jumping up and down, chanting my superhero name.
Noah and Penny smiled from ear to ear.
Dexter was fuming.
I did it.
I was the winner.
I mean, that’s what I planned on doing the whole time, but I couldn’t believe I actually did it!
I was awesome. Amazing. Remarkable.
I was unstoppable!
I jumped as high as I could. ‘HECK YEAH, I’M THE ULTIMATE CHAMPION OF THE UNIVERSE!’
I was on top of the world.
And nothing could bring me down.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Mid-January.
‘Ah, you should’ve seen it!’ I said to Brock, still reeling about my completely colossal grand slam at the last Power Battle. ‘Kids were all over me for autographs.’
I threw a couple of punches into the cold night air, making sure I was in full view of the North Star, because it felt like I was showing off for my dad.
‘I’m, like, the coolest kid in school right now! Everybody wants a piece of me, or they want to be me! I can’t believe I was such a lamewad at the beginning of this year. I wish I could go back in time and tell that scared little baby Ben how awesome he’d be by the end of the semester!’
Brock agreed, obviously.
‘This is what I’ve always wanted, dude … if only my parents could see me now.’
I found the North Star and stared at it.
‘Can’t wait to tell them when I get home. They’re gonna be so proud of me. I mean, not for faking a superpower, but for getting over my fear.’
I sat on the stone snake, catching my breath.
I was afraid for so long – afraid of failing, of worm-eaters, of what other kids thought of me – that I almost forgot what it was like to just be chill.
I liked this feeling.
It was a feeling I hadn’t had in a long time.
I wasn’t afraid anymore.
Nailed it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Late January.
Time flies when you’re having fun, and the amount of fun I was having was off the flippin’ charts.
I was a king.
I didn’t have to carry my own books anymore.
I didn’t have to buy my own snacks anymore.
Pretty sure I wouldn’t even have to wipe my own butt anymore, but that’s just – that’s too far. Way too far.
I could sit anywhere I wanted at lunch, and any place I picked would instantly swarm with students who loved me.
It was so much fun that January breezed by like a fart in the wind. Soon it was time for the next KA-POW. I walked into the factory with my boys – Noah, Jordan, and new recruit Arnold – behind me.
Penny wasn’t with us.
She was doing that a lot lately. I think she was just annoyed with the big crowds that worshipped me.
I mean, why else would she avoid me like that, right? People were everywhere. Kepler students and random teens from the city eating snacks, waiting for the battle to begin under the giant KA-POW banner.
My face adorned the shirts of many that night.
More than I’d like to admit were I a humble man.
But I’m not humble.
And it was a ton of shirts.
I looked for Jennifer, but she wasn’t there. Not sure if that was a good thing or not. Last time we talked, she scolded me for how big the Power Battle had grown, like it was my fault that happened. She’d totally change her tune if she could only see how much everyone loved me now – I think. I dunno – it made sense in my head.
The Braver Ravers waved me over to the ring. Millie had found a cruddy old couch in one of the back rooms and set it up in the front row.
Someone handed me a soft drink as soon as I sat down, but it was flat, so I sent it back.
‘Don’t even bring me another one if it’s not fresh!’ I said.
Noah gave me a look.
‘What?’ I said.
‘Nothing, man. It’s just … That kid brought you a soft drink, and you yelled at him for it.’
‘Not enough suds, bro!’
Noah shook his head, and then he got off the couch.
‘Where you going?’ I said.
He shrugged his shoulders. ‘I just – I can’t. You’re too much.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I said, but Noah was already gone.
‘It means you’re being a thick jerk,’ Jordan said, right before he left the couch, too.
I laughed.
My friends were so funny.
Penny climbed through Toby’s toe ropes with her costume and uke.
Millie went out to join her.
‘Geez, nobody wants to wrestle that guy,’ Millie said. ‘I need to find someone else for you to battle then.’
‘I’ll go!’ Arnold said, shooting his arm up.
‘Fine, get up here,’ Millie said, and then she yelled, ‘Um, five minutes until the first battle! Penny Plum versus Arnold Solis! The Creature Queen versus the Mooch! Five minutes!’
‘Where’s Vic?’ Arnold asked. ‘She always announces.’
‘I don’t know; I couldn’t find her,’ Millie said. ‘Dexter’s not here, either.’
Penny plucked the strings on her uke, tuning it by ear.
‘Go, Penny!’ I said loudly. ‘You got this, guurl!’
Arnold looked over, like, ‘What about me?’
‘Uh, you got this, too … guuuy.’
The kid with the flat drink returned with a second one, and the amount of fizz was pleasing to me this time.
Yes, I was pleased.
With the soft drink.
With my seat.
With my life.
Millie made the announcement.
And the battle began.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Penny danced along the sides of the ring, tickling the strings on her ukulele.
Arnold made some ‘gonna getchoo’ thrusts but never went into full attack mode. With his ability to steal someone else’s power, all he needed was patience.
The Braver Ravers around me cheered loudly for Arnold, but Noah and Jordan loyally supported Penny from the other side of the ring.
I didn’t know who to cheer for.
If Penny, then the Braver Ravers would be mad. If Arnold, then Noah and Jordan would be mad. So I watched quietly.
Arnold dashed towards Penny, chomping his teeth, but she bounced off the rope, flipping right over him. When she landed, she threw her hair back and strummed wildly.
Someone screeched from the back of the room.
Then a whole line of people screeched, and the crowd quickly parted.
Penny must’ve called her army of mice.
I expected to see
a hundred cute, button-nosed vermin charging the ring, but instead—
‘CHICKENS!’ somebody shouted.
Flocking to the ring was a platoon of poultry, clucking and flapping wildly. The birds gunned for Arnold, who was understandably frozen in place.
Penny climbed a corner of the ring, propped her foot up, and twirled her head as she ripped a killer solo on her small uke.
The chickens stacked on top of one another, forming a human-shaped walking chicken Voltron monster.
Penny soaked in the crowd’s praise, having chicken-man take a bow. But her showmanship became her downfall.
Arnold broke through the wall of birds and tore across the ring straight for Penny. He grabbed her leg and gnawed on her calf.
Penny dropped her uke and fell off the ropes.
The chickens tumbled down, clucking and confused.
And then Arnold took the uke and began playing.
In precise unison, the fat birds snapped their beaks towards Penny.
‘Ah, spit,’ Penny said.
As Arnold strummed, the chickens flipped out, swarming Penny as she screamed.
‘Hey!’ Noah shouted at Arnold. ‘Penny didn’t make them peck at you!’
My best friend was in trouble.
Good thing I had my supersuit under my clothes.
I powered up and slid to the rescue under Toby’s toes.
My fan club cheered for me, but other Kepler students weren’t too happy that I crashed someone else’s battle.
I shot an antigravity blast at the cluster of chickens that sent them flying, and then I held my hand out to my damsel in distress.
She wasn’t as grateful as I thought she’d be.
‘What’re you doing?’ Penny said.
‘I’m rescuing you!’
‘I don’t need to be rescued, Ben! Get outta the ring and let me handle this!’
Students flooded the stage to pull me out.
The Braver Ravers ran in to stop them.
The one-on-one battle between Penny and Arnold quickly became a no-holds-barred Royal Rumble with superpowered kids.
Ben Braver and the Incredible Exploding Kid Page 8