“I want to repair the cracks in my family,” Adrien confessed.
Raven laughed, though the sound was bitter and hollow. “That can’t be that hard. I mean, they’re not Montoyas. We’re always at each other’s throats.”
The Barnes family wasn’t power hungry like the Montoyas, but they had their own problems. After two of the male shifters died in their mission to get more territory, the family had splintered. Marjorie Barnes did her best to pull everyone together, but she had become a single mother surrounded by people who weren’t her blood relatives. The clan didn’t listen to her the way they should have.
The family had felt disjointed for as long as Adrien could remember. Baylee and Jensen had the chance to grow up in the warm bubble their mother had made for them. Their house had always been filled with love. Ember had done her best to raise Teagan after the strain had pushed Teagan’s mother away.
Adrien’s struggle had been similar, but the only person he’d had to raise was himself. He recognized how lucky he was that he didn’t have another person relying on him or else he might have folded under the pressure. Somewhere in the middle, with resentment and gratitude toward his position, Adrien did his best to keep everyone afloat.
Raven twisted and leaned into him. He let her lay across him. He even put an arm over her, which she clutched like a prized plushie. He sighed, content.
“You told me to stop changing for everyone around me,” she said.
He could hear the beginning of a point coming. “It’s not the same.”
She was quiet. He could feel the thump of her heartbeat beneath his arm. They should have savored this little bit of time alone. He doubted they would find it again any time soon. Someone would knock down their door and ruin everything.
“Besides,” he said. “I don’t have much to do since you broke up with me. I needed to apply myself to something.”
She shut down, her face becoming a blank mask. Her gaze shifted away from him. Regret uncoiled inside him like a hissing snake. As badly as he wanted to pull her closer, it seemed like he only knew how to push her away.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said softly.
She nodded. With her voice small, she explained what had happened. Adrien kept from rolling his eyes. Shifters who thought too much of themselves loved to start trouble, and Raven’s family had just invited another to join their ranks.
Adrien recalled the dragon on the road, how the beast had stared Raven down until she’d caved and followed him into the dark. Adrien’s lip curled at the thought. He didn’t realize that his grip on the arm of the couch had tightened until the wood support inside it groaned pitifully. He released his grip and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes.
He heard Raven stand, listened to her slow footsteps as she meandered away. He didn’t know how to pull her back. Had he ever really understood her? Or had his love for her tricked him into believing things that weren’t true?
His beast snarled at him and his foolishness. The dragon thought it would have handled the situation already if Adrien would only let it out. Adrien highly doubted that sentiment. The beast alone could not show Raven that she was loved.
Dragging in a steadying breath, Adrien pulled his hands away from his face. He had to keep trying.
He had to.
8
Raven wished she could stay forever. She knew, however, that lingering in Adrien’s presence would only entice more trouble. Bastien would find his way to Adrien’s doorstep. She didn’t doubt that Bastien would be itching for a fight after meeting her uncle today.
Glancing over, she noticed Adrien staring. Her cheeks warmed. She looked away and tried to push back the yearning filling her chest. If only she could throw caution to the wind and take what she wanted. If only she could be more like her sister.
It didn’t seem fair that River had been born with all the confidence and power while Raven struggled to find her voice in almost every situation. Even now, with only Adrien in the room with her, she couldn’t bring herself to speak.
Adrien seemed fine with the silence. He folded his hands behind his head and settled back into the couch. His eyes closed, but that big smile on his face was easy to read. She’d never seen a dragon man more at ease in her life. Maybe that’s because she lived with dragons who were always waiting for signs of weakness. Her family clamored over one another to snatch power from one another.
She’d never liked that kind of life. She saw no meaning in it when those who took the power couldn’t lead. It wasn’t like Quincy had been leading them. She hated to say this, but she doubted her mother would be a good leader, either. The clan was honestly better without a leader. If each of them could look after themselves the way they had been for the past decades, then perhaps they would be a happier family.
“You’re thinking too much,” Adrien said. He leapt to his feet and snatched his keys from the table. “Let’s go out and get something to eat. How about that?”
Raven hesitated. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”
While here, Raven could hide away from her inevitable future. Or, at least, she could pretend for a short while that they couldn’t find her. She knew that Bastien and her mother would hunt her down. They wouldn’t let her go.
She was too valuable.
Raven sighed. A scream was climbing up her throat when Adrien appeared beside her. Gentle hands on her elbows, he turned her toward him. He stroked her jaw before cupping her cheek.
“You don’t have to be afraid of anything while I’m here.”
He used to say that all the time, whenever a sound startled her, whenever her nerves got the best of her. Adrien had comforted her with the simple promise. Back then, she had believed him. Right now, she didn’t want to put him in harm’s way.
But she also couldn’t bring herself to walk away from him. His gravitational pull drew her closer and closer until she pressed her cheek to his chest and listened to his heartbeat. The sound, quickening now that she held him, comforted the nervous crackle in her own chest. She sighed, too happy.
“This won’t last,” she whispered.
Adrien stroked the back of her head. “It won’t if you don’t fight for it.”
She groaned. Hands turning to fists in his shirt, she pressed her face into the fabric and breathed deep. Her core trembled with fear. The future was so uncertain.
She didn’t know if she could ever have what it took to take her life into her own hands. Though she wanted to feel the reins in her own grasp for once, she doubted she would be able to hold on for long. Someone would tear them away from her.
Bastien would drag her off to his clan. Her mother would snip her wings. Someone would always be there to remind Raven that she had no control.
Raven released Adrien’s shirt. She pressed her hands to his chest with every intention of pushing him away. His touch fluttered down her waist and over her hip. He wound his arm around her and pulled her tight to his chest. This close, she heard the hungry growl of his beast. Her own beast rose and echoed it.
“Don’t marry him,” Adrien said.
Raven tensed, ready to push Adrien away. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Her beast needed him. She needed him.
“Don’t let that man hurt you.”
What could Raven say that would show Adrien just what kind of position she was in? Trapped on all sides, Raven couldn’t make a move without someone else stopping her.
“I said I would protect you,” Adrien reminded her. His arms tightened around her. “You don’t have to be afraid of anything.”
His words broke through the weak barrier she’d been trying to keep between them. She tilted her head back, and his lips met hers. A small moan escaped her as she opened to him. Adrien growled and pushed her against the counter. He pushed until it felt like their bodies would meld into one.
Raven missed this more than she wanted to admit. She missed the feel of Adrien against her and his lips on hers. The way he kissed her always stole
her breath, no matter if it was the first time or the fiftieth. He always managed to unravel the tight bonds she wrapped around herself. Undone, Raven felt like a whole new person with him.
She put a hand on the back of his neck to hold him close. Adrien laughed against her lips. She bit him to show him she was nothing to laugh at. He groaned. She felt his knees tremble. How a woman like her had this kind of effect on a man as hot as Adrien, she would never know. Everything she did brought a reaction out of him.
Breaking the kiss, she tilted his head back and pressed her lips to the soft spot beneath his chin. He shuddered, his fingers digging into her. She continued kissing her way down his throat.
“I need you,” he growled.
She could already feel the physical evidence of his need growing against her. She throbbed, too. Couldn’t she have one last time with him before she had to walk away forever? She’d given him up once, in order to protect him from her family. Her feelings for him had never faded. They’d remained constant and unwavering, unlike herself.
Raven knew she was not strong enough for him, though. Adrien would have to be strong for the both of them, and she knew that wasn’t fair. River and Jensen were equals. River had stepped into her own and become just as strong as her mate.
Raven was afraid of failing Adrien over and over.
She stepped back. Her hand went to her mouth because she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to stop without a barrier in the way. Hurt flickered across Adrien’s face. Though he hid it, she knew him too well. She could never forget him, no matter how long they were apart.
“Bastien is going to be able to smell you on me,” she said quietly.
Adrien’s growl grew loud before he swallowed it back down. The furrow of his brow told her that the effort took a substantial amount of willpower. Her own beast gnashed its teeth unhappily. Raven knew this was for the best, though. They couldn’t stand together if she couldn’t even get her feet beneath her.
“So, that’s his name?” Adrien nodded pensively.
He put his hands on his hips and looked out the window. Though the window didn’t point towards home, she knew where his thoughts were. When he turned back to her, there was a light in his eyes that scared her. She didn’t think he would hurt her.
No, that was never a question in her mind.
This time, she was afraid Adrien was going to get hurt.
“If I challenge him and win, will your mother approve of me?”
Raven was acutely aware that Adrien avoided saying us. He didn’t treat this idea of challenging Bastien as a way to win Raven, but as a way to show her mother that he was worthy. Earning Raven’s love was another feat altogether.
She sighed. “I doubt it. You can’t change your name, Adrien.”
He laughed. “Of course, I can! I can head down to the courthouse right now and fill out a name change form. It’s that easy.”
“You know what I meant.” She wanted to fling her hands in the air. The view outside the window kept tugging at her. She expected Bastien to appear out of nowhere like he had the night before.
This wasn’t going to work. Adrien could joke all he wanted, but it wasn’t really that easy. Nothing about her life had ever been easy. That was why she’d kept to the path of least resistance for as long as she could.
Adrien had been her only act of rebellion ever.
Raven grabbed her jacket. “I should get going. Mom is going to be pissed.”
Light on his feet, Adrien moved and gently caught her by the elbow before she could reach the door. “Stop thinking about your mother’s feelings for a few minutes. She doesn’t have to dictate your entire life.”
“Just because you had the freedom of no one breathing down the back of your neck while you were growing up doesn’t mean you get to tell me how I should behave. You don’t have a shifter parent. You cannot understand the restraints I have to navigate every day.”
Adrien recoiled as if physically slapped. Raven immediately regretted her words, but she couldn’t take them back now. They’d already made their way into the world. No amount of apologizing would fix what she’d done.
Head down, Raven shoved through the door. She threw herself into the driver’s seat and let her head fall against the steering wheel. Lingering too long might draw Adrien out to check on her, so she forced herself to turn the key in the ignition and put the car into reverse. Once she was away from his home, she allowed herself to pull over onto the side of the road.
She sat back in her seat and cried. She cried for all the things she could never have. She cried for the future she had to walk. She cried for the man whose feelings she had just stomped underfoot even though she loved him.
“I’m such a damn fool,” she whispered to herself as she wiped away tears.
Her phone buzzed. For a moment, Raven didn’t want to pick it up. Her mother wouldn’t text, though. If Alice wanted to find her, she would call and call until Raven went mad or picked up. Whichever happened first.
The text was from River. She didn’t bother asking. Instead, River told her sister to pick up a stack of pizzas that the clan had already ordered.
Raven laughed, though it wobbled from all the crying she’d done. She fired a text back, letting River know that she would grab the pizzas. Alice probably wanted Raven to come home, but Raven wasn’t ready yet. She was tired of being talked about like a prized mare. Maybe if she stayed out a while longer, they could get all that talk out of the way so she wouldn’t have to hear it when she went back home.
Yeah, that was unlikely.
She parked outside the pizza place. The air smelled like crispy pepperoni and savory parmesan. Though the scent enticed her, she hoped that River had thought to order a barbeque chicken pizza because that was her favorite and River knew that.
The man at the counter didn’t even wait for Raven to give her sister’s name. The triplets were unmistakable.
“Is your mom hosting a pizza party night?” the man at the counter asked, a hint of friendly laughter forced into his nervous question.
Raven watched him add a container of cookies to the order even though River hadn’t mentioned cookies. “Ah, no. This is for my sister.”
The man seemed to hesitate, his eyes on the package of cookies that he’d already added to the stack of pizza boxes. When he looked up, his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Raven wasn’t one for confrontation, so she gathered the boxes and pretended not to notice the cookies because the man might say something if she left them behind.
When Raven left here, she would finally be free of her mother’s legacy. Leaving here meant becoming Bastien’s wife, though. The idea left her unsettled. She had a good idea of what her life would be like once she left, and she wasn’t looking forward to it.
She would much rather go back to Adrien’s house. After Callum helped her take Adrien home, she’d explored the house. She’d found the remnants of their relationship—not tucked away in the back of a closet, but lovingly stashed in his nightstand where the memories would always be at hand.
Lost in her thoughts of Adrien and their relationship, Raven forgot to watch where she was going until she ran into a solid wall where there shouldn’t have been one. The pizza boxes tumbled out of her hands and landed on the ground. A familiar, frightening scent enveloped her.
Raven almost didn’t want to look up. She forced herself to meet Bastien’s gaze anyway. His eyes burned with a vicious light. The twitch of his upper lip told her all she needed to know. When he took in the boxes and raised a brow, she dragged in a breath and tried to steady herself.
“Where were you headed?” he asked, voice low and threatening.
If River were here, she would have rolled her eyes at this man. He was all bark and no teeth. At least, that was what Raven hoped.
She flipped the pizza boxes over and scowled at the grease stains bleeding through the box lids.
“Am I going to marry a woman who doesn’t know how to behave according to her husband’s wishes?�
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Raven swallowed. “What are your wishes? You haven’t expressed them yet.”
“No, because I haven’t been able to get even a moment alone with you. You’re like a flighty bird, always on the run.”
That was because she didn’t want to be alone with him. The very thought made her shudder. Cold chills crept up her spine and stole her breath. She wanted nothing more than to grab the boxes and walk away, but his gaze kept her pinned to the spot like a specimen tacked to a board.
She dragged in a shuddering breath and wished it could steady her. She wasn’t anything like her mother or sister. She couldn’t even pull off the flippant disinterest that Reece seemed to do so well. Raven was exactly what Bastien thought.
“It’s time you and I got to know one another,” Bastien said.
There was an ominous note to his voice that made her wary. She scanned the street in the hopes that she would find a way out. No one appeared to save her, meaning she was on her own.
“Come with me,” Bastien commanded. He hit a button on his key fob and lights flashed on a nearby SUV.
Raven frowned. “I have my own car. I can’t just leave it here.”
“What did I just say?”
Raven stood and rocked back on her heels. There was a promise of violence on Bastien’s face. She spent a moment debating whether that violence would take the form of fists or words. Her beast writhed inside her. It chomped at the bit, hungry for a fight for the first time in her life. Something about Bastien gave her a taste for blood.
“I have to get these pizzas to my sister,” Raven said as firmly as she could manage. “I’ll meet up with you after I drop them off.”
Bastien’s upper lip curled, which gave Raven a taste of satisfaction. His eyes narrowed. She could see the gears moving behind them.
“Fine. I’ll follow you. The moment you hand over the food, we’re leaving.”
A Star Crossed Fate (Great Plains Dragon Feud Book 4) Page 7