And wait.
And hope that Raven could find her strength before it was too late for the both of them.
Raven finger combed her auburn curls. They barely reached her chin, which made separating them an easy task. She twisted her coffee cup between her hands while staring down the café door.
Just as the clock’s hands moved to 9:00, the door opened and Bastien sauntered in. He was attractive, from an objective point of view. He raked a hand through his black hair and left it curling away from his face. He wore a pair of sleek black trousers and a black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
Where Bastien was darkness in a slender package, Adrien was sunshine packed with muscle. She sighed, bothered that her mind kept crawling back to Adrien over and over. She didn’t want to forget about him. All she wanted was the ache in her chest to hurt a little less when she thought about him.
Bastien saw her, but made no effort to greet her before heading to the café counter. She listened to him place his order. Of course, he demanded a black coffee. Men like him were always afraid that someone might discover that they liked flavor. Brewed correctly, coffee could be delicious. This wasn’t one of the places that could do it.
Flavorless coffee in hand, he took the seat across from her. His legs were spread wide in some sort of effort to stake his territory. He kept one hand curled around the base of his coffee cup as he stared her down. She studied him and noticed there wasn’t a single scar on his body.
If she asked, he would say that was because he’d won every fight he’d ever been in. She knew better. A man without scars had never been in a real fight.
She leaned forward in her seat. “We need to lay some ground rules if we’re going to make this work.”
Bastien raised a brow in obvious challenge. He expected her to back down, but Raven was too tired to care about what he wanted.
“I know you’re going to try to make my life a living hell when I leave with you.” She looked him in the eye. “I’m going to let you know that my life has been a living hell since the moment I came into this world. There is not a damn thing you can do to make it worse.”
A cruel smile reached the corner of his mouth. She saw a flash of beastly light cross his eyes. He straightened his spine so that he would tower over her. It didn’t quite have the same effect while they were seated on opposite sides of a table.
“Not even if I kill that pretty Barnes boy you’re so infatuated with?”
She had expected this. A laugh escaped her. “If you were capable of killing Adrien, you would have done it already. The fact that you used my Uncle’s senile behavior as a way to get the job done is a sign that you can’t do it on your own.”
Bastien scowled.
“Like I said, there are going to be some ground rules. You have no choice in this.” She felt powerful until she watched his hand curl into a fist atop the table.
She couldn’t back down now, though. Even if Bastien could hurt her, she could endure it. This man would not break her. She had known devastation and despair. She had also known love and joy. Bastien couldn’t change anything about her past. He was powerless in that regard.
“First,” she began. She laid out the rules for him.
Bastien’s expression didn’t change. He glared at her like he wanted to leap across the table and strangle her. It filled her with a mix of fear and exhilaration. Making him angry was strangely satisfying.
Her future might have been decided for her, but she wasn’t going to go into it with no plans. She would take the reins like her mother had. This marriage would give them both what they wanted.
Bastien leaned across the table and whispered, “Do you really think you have the power to control me?”
Of course, she didn’t. Raven had spent her life wearing a mask. She knew how to fake everything. The only person she’d ever set the mask aside for had been…
She couldn’t think about that right now.
“You clearly want this union, or else you would have given up after Uncle Quincy whooped your ass.”
Bastien’s lips tightened. Though she’d suspected it to be true, his reaction proved it. This man likely wasn’t as high up in the clan’s ranks as he’d boasted. Marrying her likely meant rising in power because of her father’s status. Then, his legacy would thrive once they had children.
“You are not my keeper,” she told him. “You do not have any right to me. Everything you ask of me is a request and not a command. Do you understand?”
This conversation was not set in stone. She knew that she would have to draw this boundary time and time again. He would constantly test his limits. She would have to hold firm each time. Though it seemed exhausting, this was the only way she could endure what was to come.
Perhaps she could be strong. This wasn’t the kind of strength that her mother had. It wasn’t even the kind of strength that River had discovered. Raven wasn’t anything like either of them. She was her own person. It had taken her too long to realize that.
The bonds between mother and daughter, or triplet to triplet, had confused her for too long. Raven could be her own person. She didn’t have to walk in anyone’s footsteps. All she had to do was stay on the path ahead.
Her beast hated the thought. It filled her mind with images of Adrien until her chest ached. She blinked away tears of regret. If she could have the strength that her sister had found, then she could have what she wanted.
Think of the devil, and he shall appear.
Outside, Adrien walked past the window. She watched him backtrack and shove his way through the door. The baristas’ heads shot up in surprise. He took a tentative step toward them, seemed to remember himself, then made a sharp turn toward the counter as if he’d entered for a coffee and not to interrupt a meeting between Raven and Bastien.
Raven hid her smile. Bastien couldn’t see how delighted she was to see Adrien again. She tried to not stare at the way Adrien’s shaggy blond hair fell over his face as he thumbed through the bills in his wallet. She had to tear her gaze away from him time and time again.
“You belong to me,” Bastien whispered. “Not him.”
Adrien’s shoulders tensed.
“Just because I’m marrying you doesn’t mean that I belong to you.” She reached for her coffee but stopped when she realized her hand was shaking. To hide the tremble, she kept her hand on the table.
Adrien rocked on his heels near the coffee pick-up counter. His attention was on her the whole time. She wished he would look elsewhere. If he could be any less obvious, then maybe this would be easier. Adrien refused to be subtle.
After getting his coffee, he approached their table with a devious grin on his face. She wondered what he was up to until he stood beside Bastien and stared down at him. The scent of Adrien’s sugary latte reached her and nearly made her laugh. Adrien blew on his drink while continuing to stare at Bastien.
Bastien nearly vibrated with pent up anger. He served Adrien with a dark glare, but Adrien remained unfazed. To make matters worse, Adrien smiled and winked at Bastien.
She could have called Adrien a fool or told him to leave, but this was too much fun to watch. She might never meet anyone capable of making Bastien fume this way. It took her far too long to realize that Adrien was also fuming.
Adrien stood beside the man that would be her future husband. The tension in Adrien’s shoulders gave away his hatred. Once Bastien slid the ring onto her finger, then Adrien would never be able to hold her again.
The thought struck the air from her lungs.
She tried to shut the feeling down, but it refused to give way despite her best efforts. The thought took over her mind. The ugly truth tormented her. She could walk the path her mother had set forth, but she would never do it happily.
Happiness was out of her grasp. She wished she’d never realized that. If she could have lived in ignorance, then the future might have been bearable.
Adrien turned his attention on her. In his eyes,
she could see everything she was thinking reflected back at her. He gave her an opportunity. All she had to do was take it.
Caught in indecision, Raven hesitated a moment too long. Adrien took that as an answer even though he hadn’t asked anything. He nodded and turned away from her, already heading toward the exit.
Raven ignored Bastien’s attempt to grab her arm. She lurched out the door and caught up to Adrien. Once they were out of sight of the café’s windows, he whirled on her. There was frustration darkening every line of his face. The moment they locked gazes, his expression softened. She could still see the light of his beast in his eyes, though.
“I don’t get it,” he growled. “He tried to kill me. You were there.”
Raven straightened even though she wanted to shrink. When she spoke, her voice was small—rightfully so. “I have a duty.”
The word made the light in his eyes blaze, but he said nothing. She wanted that smile to return to his face. She’d never seen him so angry before. He took half a step back. Her heart stuttered.
It was for the best. They had to part ways eventually. Just because they had found each other’s orbits again did not mean that they would stay that way forever. Something had to give for her to move on.
Yet, nothing in her life had ever been as difficult as this moment. She could almost feel him in her hands. The taste of him danced upon her lips. He would always haunt her. She wondered if the same were true for him. Would he look back and yearn the same way she would?
“Can we have one last evening?” she asked.
Adrien shuddered. She watched him try to fight his response. He struggled against himself. The sight made her wary of what came next.
“Never mind. Pretend I never asked,” she said as she backed away.
“No. Don’t go.” He caught her hand before she could escape. “One night. Meet me at the pumpkin field tonight.”
She furrowed her brow. “The pumpkin field?”
“You’ll see.”
Adrien released her before she could agree. She felt a presence at her back and turned to see Bastien standing outside the café. She didn’t have to feel bad about disappointing him. He would never be pleased.
Bastien stood beside her as if that might remind her of who she would be pledging her life to in the end. His presence chilled her to the bone. She didn’t dare turn and look him in the eye for fear of the vitriol she might see there. He had no love for her.
He never would, either. They wouldn’t have the kind of relationship where they would slowly fall for one another. This wasn’t an arranged marriage romance story. Their kind of relationship would be the one their children would whisper about in hushed tones for the rest of their lives.
The thought of her children seeing her so miserable sickened her. She’d always wanted her own family. She’d told herself that she would do better. Everything that her mother had taught her would get tossed out the window. Raven would start fresh.
At least, that was what she’d wanted. With Bastien, she doubted that would be possible. A spark of fear turned her chest cold. He might never let her be the kind of mother she wanted to be. He would turn the kids against her. It would be all too easy to convince their innocent minds that she was weak and not to be respected.
A growl vibrated in her throat. She clenched her fists at her sides.
“What has your panties in a twist?” Bastien asked.
“Not you,” she said. “That’s for sure.”
He grunted, clearly unconvinced. Her conviction wavered. She wanted escape but feared her life would only get harder if she stepped off the path. The future held one misery or another for her. She couldn’t see a path that would lead her toward happiness. It seemed absolutely unattainable.
What would her sister say? River would tell her that one kind of misery might outweigh the other if the benefits were worth it. Could Raven trust that advice, though? Could she risk ruining Adrien’s life if she chose him?
12
Raven stood in the empty field. A layer of pristine snow covered it and any pumpkins that might have been leftover. Not long ago, River had met her future mate here. It was still strange to think that her sister had mated with a Barnes shifter—not because the Barnes men were horrible like all the Montoyas thought. The union was strange because Raven wanted a Barnes man, too.
Once again, Raven marveled at all the things she could not be. She didn’t know how to get to the place where River found her strength. The concept of strength seemed so tangled in Raven’s mind. It was so many things, all the things that Raven wasn’t.
She was afraid that she’d faked it earlier, during her meeting with Bastien. Though she’d felt in control for a short while, it hadn’t lasted. She was caught between a cruel man and the one who’d made her feel loved for the first time in her life.
Raven wanted to call her sister and ask for advice. She wanted to beg Reece to keep her company while Bastien was around. Neither would give her what she wanted. Raven didn’t want to hear River’s advice, because she knew exactly what her sister would say. Reece wouldn’t come down from his roost. He would stay hidden, away from the drama that Gale had started.
Three Montoyas had fallen in love with Barnes shifters. Raven desperately wished she could be the fourth.
“You were number one,” Adrien said behind her.
She turned, her heart racing.
“You were always my number one,” he said. He closed the space between them.
The heat radiating off them made the air ripple. She exhaled and breathed in his scent. It was intoxicating. She wished she could bottle it and take it everywhere with her.
“I was worried that you wouldn’t show up, but I should have known you wouldn’t let me down.” He smiled as his knuckle grazed her cheek.
She leaned into his touch despite the awful thoughts in the back of her mind. She would let him down. He couldn’t rely on her to choose him because she was weak willed. She ignored that for now, tucked it deep down so that she wouldn’t have to face the truth tonight.
Tonight was for the two of them.
“What did you have in mind?”
He grinned. She loved that rakish smile. “Well, I thought we would begin with sledding.”
She gawked at him before bursting out laughing. “Sledding?”
He didn’t say anything. Instead, Adrien took her hand and led her to the edge of the field. There, he took a turn and brought her to a hill. She studied the scene before her, unable to shake a strange sense of déjà vu.
Adrien grabbed the black plastic sled that had been on the ground and set it before her. He gestured for her to get on while he held it. She hesitated, but only for a moment. She had barely settled before he shoved them both forward and hopped onto the back.
The wind tousled her hair. She laughed gleefully as they careened down the hill. They hit a bank and were airborne for a heartbeat. When they hit the ground again, it was slick and sent them spinning. She realized why this hill had seemed so familiar, yet wrong.
They were sledding over a frozen pond. The snow had disguised the pond as ground, which had confused her at first.
When the sled slowed, she looked up at Adrien. “Are you sure this is safe?”
He held a hand down to her to help her to her feet. “Nothing bad can happen to you while I’m here.”
Raven was all too ready to give herself over to his words. She wanted nothing more than to relinquish the worry that constantly plagued her, but she held it close out of the fear that if she relaxed, then everything bad would catch up to her. She knew that was not a good way to live, but what else could she do?
Adrien tugged her up and into his body. His arm snaked around her middle. She rested her cheek against his chest because she knew she would be too tempted to kiss him if she lifted her face. The steady thump of his heart calmed her and set her soul at ease. Her worries melted for a little while. She let out a breath that felt as though it had been trapped in her for years.
> “Let’s do that again,” he said into her hair.
He made no movement to climb the hill, though. They played a game of chicken to see who would break the embrace first. He swayed gently. She wanted to explore his body, grab him by the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss, and push him down into the snow.
They couldn’t do that while standing on the pond. Their dragon heat in the throes of passion would melt right through it. She wasn’t about to take an unplanned skinny-dip in the middle of this date.
Raven pulled away first. She took Adrien’s hand and led him back to the top of the hill. He set the sled down and gestured for her to get on. This time, she rode down by herself. The circular sled twisted in circles until she was dizzy. The world turned into a grey and white blur while one figure stayed still. Adrien, in his bright red coat, watched it all with a big smile on his face.
She could have this every day, she realized. All she had to do was defy her mother. If she turned Bastien away and told her mother where she could shove it, then Raven could be with the man who clearly loved her. Adrien obviously felt something for her. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t keep crossing her path and pulling her off it.
His presence tempted her to throw caution to the wind. She was afraid, though. She didn’t want to burden him with her anxieties. He deserved a partner who was an equal, not a coward who would hide behind him for the rest of their lives.
For the first time, she wondered if Adrien would ever choose anyone else. He ran down the hill toward her, sliding on his feet part-way until he could jog again. He helped her up and flashed the happiest smile she’d ever seen. How could he choose someone like her?
She wasn’t beautiful. She wasn’t particularly great at anything. Most importantly, she was a coward. Most shifters chose a mate with their beast, but she believed his beast had made a mistake.
“You’re thinking too hard,” he whispered as he stood close again.
The ice beneath them cracked ominously. They needed to move before their heat sent them plunging into the cold water. Raven stared up at Adrien for too long, though.
A Star Crossed Fate (Great Plains Dragon Feud Book 4) Page 10