The First Dodrupchen90 describes these three levels of attainment of loving-kindness:
Knowing that all the beings of higher and lower realms [of samsara] have been one’s father and mother, and wishing them not to have even the slightest experience of hurt or violence, as a child [wishes] for his or her mother, is the thought of loving-kindness that focuses on beings.
The bodhisattvas who attained the first stage up to the seventh stage are helping beings who are suffering [as the result of their] attachment to phenomena by perceiving them as real, though they have no reality—through teachings that will help them to realize the true nature of phenomena.
That is the loving-kindness focused on phenomena. [Bodhisattvas who have attained] the eighth stage or higher enjoy the loving-kindness that is free from concepts. Like wish-fulfilling gems, the loving-kindness of the Victorious Ones91 spontaneously serves the world because of their past aspirations, even though they are free from concepts.92
A sutra says:
“What are the three loving-kindnesses? They are the loving-kindness that focuses on beings, the loving-kindness that focuses on phenomena, and the loving-kindness free from concepts.”93
Whatever Dharma training we are pursuing—say, generosity—we should do it with emptiness united with loving-kindness if we can. The Third Dodrupchen writes:
You must train in giving with emptiness that is with the essence of compassion.94
However, right now, meditating on these various higher stages of loving-kindness may be hard for many of us to even comprehend, let alone practice. Though it is good if we understand and are interested in them, the important thing is to start from where we are.
So, whenever we can, we should exert ourselves to strengthen our loving-kindness. We should build the power of our confidence in the Buddha’s loving-kindness, in our receiving his blessings, and in our own mind. We should make our aspirations ever-broader and more inconceivable, and inclusive of all infinite beings. As Nagarjuna95 writes:
As the phenomena of beings are infinite,
So, too, does the wish of joy [for them] become infinite.96
We should enhance the purity of our goals, making them ever more selfless to the point that we have the “measureless loving-kindness.” Je Gampopa says:
You must try to develop a true wish of having happiness and benefit for all beings, limitless as space. If such a wish is developed—that is the actual loving-kindness. . . . Because of the force of kindness, if your eyes well up with tears and the hairs on your body stand up—that is the great loving-kindness. If you could develop this wish equally toward all beings—that is the measureless loving-kindness.97
What Great Masters Say about Loving-Kindness
Meditations on loving-kindness have been taught and praised by some of the greatest scholars of the four major Buddhist schools of Tibet. I summarize them here because each of these scholars understood and embodied Buddhist meditations on loving-kindness, and each presents his insights in a slightly different way. It is important that we follow them accordingly.
Je Gampopa Sönam Rinchen (1079–1153) of the Kagyu school writes:
Division: There are three divisions. They are: doing loving-kindness meditation on beings, doing loving-kindness meditation on phenomena, and doing loving-kindness meditation that is free from concepts. The Lodrö Mizepe Tenpa sutra explains:
“Loving-kindness of thinking about beings is the meditation of the bodhisattvas who have just developed bodhichitta. Loving-kindness of thinking about phenomena is the meditation of the bodhisattvas who are engaged in [bodhisattvas’] activities. Loving-kindness that is free from concepts is the meditation of the bodhisattvas who have attained confidence in the unborn truth.”98
Here, I will discuss the first one. In this, the object of meditation is all beings. The way of doing meditation is wishing them to have happiness. The formula of meditation: the root is remembering the kindnesses, so you must remember the kindness of beings. In this life, the kindest person for you is your own mother. What sort of kindness has she shown you? There are four: the kindness of developing your body, dealing with hardships [for you], giving you your life, and showing you the world. . . . As her kindness is infinite for you, you must develop loving-kindness, the thought of wishing her happiness, from your heart. Then not only her, but to all beings who have been your mother. Whoever has been your mother has been as kind to you as your [present] mother is. . . . So you must meditate to develop a genuine thought of wishing to help all beings and wishing happiness for all beings, limitless as the extent of space. When such thought is developed in your mind, that is the real loving-kindness. . . . Then, because of the power of this feeling of loving-kindness, tears will come to your eyes and your body’s hairs will stand up. That is the development of the great loving-kindness. When you have such experiences equally toward all beings, that will be [the development of] immeasurable loving-kindness. When you have no wish to have happiness for yourself, but only for others, then you will have perfected loving-kindness.99
Pandita Kunga Gyaltshen (1182–1251) of the Sakya School writes about loving-kindness:
How to meditate: It will be easier to meditate if you see all beings as your loved ones. In some sutras, it is taught to meditate on them as your mothers. Some tantras, such as Dorje Tsemo,100 teach you to see beings as your child. There is no person who hasn’t been your father, brother, and so on. So you must train to meditate on loving-kindness toward all beings [by seeing them] as the person you feel close to and care for.
However, wishing that sentient beings be happy alone is not enough. You need to meditate from your heart-core, wishing that all beings have not just happiness but also the causes of happiness. Happiness means being joyful as the result of mentally and physically living in accordance with Dharma. Wishing to have the cause of happiness means [wishing them] to meet holy Dharma, since if you train in Dharma, the cause, you will have ultimate joy as the result. By familiarizing yourself with these again and again, loving-kindness toward all beings as a mother toward her only child will take birth.101
Omniscient Longchen Rabjam (1308–1363) of the Nyingma school writes:
The object of meditation of loving-kindness is all beings.
The method is to meditate on wishing that one person, [building up to] all,
In all directions to the limits [of space],
Enjoy the temporary happiness of the gods and human realms
And the ultimate happiness, enlightenment.
The sign [of your progress] is that the excellent universal loving-kindness,
A love that is greater than that of a mother for her only child,
Will take place.
At the end, contemplate the state of equanimity,
The great loving-kindness that is free from concepts.
The sign [of perfection] is unifying loving-kindness and emptiness.
The result is that you will see [beings] to be pleasing and pure.102
Je Tsongkhapa Lobzang Tragpa (1357–1419), founder of the Gelug school, writes:
Pay attention to beings who are bereft of happiness. The method is thinking, “How wonderful if they were happy!” “May they all have happiness.” “I will provide them with happiness.” . . . The sequence of doing meditation on loving-kindness is: First meditate on loved ones. Then gradually meditate on neutral beings, then on foes, and then on all beings. The ways of doing meditation are [as follows]: You must think again and again about the suffering that beings endure. Then compassion will develop in you. Likewise, you must think about how beings are bereft of happiness—both contaminated and uncontaminated happiness.103 When you really feel this, then you will spontaneously wish them happiness. Then think about various kinds of happiness in your mind and offer them to those beings.104
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THE FOUR BUDDHA STAGES
THE MEDITATIONS IN THIS BOOK help us steadily increase our loving-kindness, bodhichitta. We start with the first stage, the Outer Buddha, b
ecause, in my experience, it is easier to develop loving-kindness by first developing devotion and trust in the Buddha and by feeling and receiving his loving-kindness. The Buddha said:
When you remember Lord Avalokiteshvara,
Your mind instantly becomes the mind of lovingkindness.105
In the second stage, the Inner Buddha, we recognize the loving-kindness that the Buddha has activated in our own mind and contemplate it. We then expand that feeling of loving-kindness to the entire universe.
If we practice with that state of mind, we will benefit all receptive beings in their present life and cause them happiness and enlightenment in their future lives.
Actually, because we become what we think, our mind already becomes a mind of loving-kindness in the first stage, since we think about and feel the Buddha’s loving-kindness then. In the second stage, however, we start to see and enjoy the Buddha’s loving-kindness as awakened in our own mindstream, in our own heart and body. The unconditional love that we saw and felt in the first stage, we now understand as being within us. In the second stage, the epicenter of the theater of our spiritual experience is our own mind, instead of somewhere external “out there.”
At first, our awakening might be fleeting. However, no matter how long it lasts, it is important that we recognize that the Buddha’s loving-kindness is not somewhere else. It is present in us. Our newfound inner loving-kindness has actually always been there as our own true inherent pure quality, as Buddhism teaches. But we need to discover and realize it, which we do through the meditations in the second stage. We must keep enjoying and rejoicing in the discovery of the great awakening of loving-kindness within us. By remaining and resting in it over and over again, we strengthen it so that it becomes a long-lasting state.
As always, we must guard against falling into the trap of letting our ego swell, thinking “I am pretty good” or “I’m a realized one,” and against burning with attachment to “me,” “mine,” or “my” meditative experience. Nor should we allow ourselves to collapse due to lack of self-confidence, thinking, “My experiences can’t be real” or “I’m not good enough.”
The key is to keep doing whatever meditation we are doing, without fear or hope, doubts or expectations, because these are the two major issues for meditators until they transcend all obstructions.
Keep Connected with the Outer Buddha
Whatever progress we make, we must keep connected with the Outer Buddha. That will strengthen our fledgling new feelings of loving-kindness. When we feel the Outer Buddha’s loving presence, it is almost impossible not to develop the blissful heat of trust and devotion to him.
The feeling of devotional bliss arouses an uncontrived and spontaneous trust in the Buddha. Every hair of our body will start to rise and tears of joy will start to rain from our eyes. These are the indications that the true blessings of the Buddha of Loving-Kindness have entered our mindstream and true spiritual attainments of loving-kindness have taken birth in us. Our heart’s mundane thoughts and emotions will transform into the energies and movements of enlightened qualities. If we could keep remembering the Outer Buddha and his loving-kindness and could experience that newfound unconditional love within us, even the hardest-hearted of us would transform into beings with flower-like minds that are soft, gentle, radiant, and loving.
So we need not only to realize that loving-kindness has developed within us, but also to maintain and nurture that realization through the skillful means of meditation with vibrant memories of our meditative experiences and consistent mindfulness. The more vividly we can see the Buddha’s loving face, filled with his beautiful, joyful smile, the more strongly we can feel his unconditional love in our heart. And the more we can maintain that state, the more firmly the experience of loving-kindness will be anchored in our heart and the more stable, perfect, and pure our progress will be.
Remain in the Newborn Loving-Kindness of the Mind
Again and again, we must enjoy and remain in the newborn loving-kindness of our mind. We must rejoice and celebrate over the new dawn without grasping. We must rejoice over and over again at the awakening of such a precious treasure in us. By pouring in the energy of rejoicing and celebrating, we strengthen the power of our loving-kindness and greatly extend and deepen its scope.
We should prolong and expand thoughts and feelings of loving-kindness for all and try to integrate it into our every mental and physical activity—instead of falling into waves of turbulent thoughts, emotions, and actions. Pray again and again, “May this amazing loving-kindness, bodhichitta, be fully developed in my mind and in the mind of every mother-being.” This is the focal point of our training in loving-kindness.
Dealing with Various Obstacles
The obstacles that we may face include having expectations, lack of self-confidence, indifference, and unwholesome distractions and activities. If we keep entertaining these negative acts and not believing in ourselves, thinking, “I’m not doing the practice well enough,” “I’m not capable,” “Everything is fated, so why should I try?”—at best, these acts and thoughts will divert us from our goal and slow down our spiritual progress. At worst, indulging in distractions, unwholesome activities, and negative attitudes will drag us on the wrong track and slowly lead us into the worst possible way of living, destroying all the possible fruits that this amazing human life could bring us.
It is important for us to reflect on how we got to where we are today and how we can change in the future. Let me illustrate how our thoughts and feelings can change the quality and direction of our life. Unfortunately, if I use a negative story, it might be easier for us to get the point, as we are all personally well versed in such things.
So, say that we have an unpleasant exchange with a co-worker one day. It isn’t significant, but we keep thinking about it and feeling dislike for that person. Soon, whatever this person says or does, whether it actually touches us or not, annoys us. Every exchange, whether smiling or frowning, triggers harsh feelings in us toward them. After some time, even seeing this person’s e-mail in our inbox can make our heart skip a beat. Then, merely thinking about this person makes us feel frustrated and miserable. It doesn’t matter if they are miles away. It consumes us. We constantly bring their annoying demeanor vividly to mind and keep hearing their irritating voice loudly—as if they were right in our face. Obviously, real harmful actions and harsh words will fly back and forth when you actually meet. We may force ourselves to smile, but whatever we say or do relating to this person will become harmful. Our forced nice gestures won’t charm anyone, as they came from an agitated state of mind. This illustration is probably familiar to many of us.
But it is ourselves that we harm most. We accumulate poisonous emotions that hurt the elements and energy systems of our body and can lead to sickness and disease.
So this means that we can lead our lives in the right direction by controlling our mental attitude. We should learn to refrain from falling into the misery dumps of life by moving forward with our positive mental and emotional experiences, such as our meditations on loving-kindness.
At the same time, we must also refrain from grasping at our meditation experiences, getting attached to them, craving the feeling of loving-kindness, or constantly looking for other new paths. Just enjoy the qualities of your newfound experience with full attentiveness and remain in it as if you were resting in your own cozy, familiar home, with total ease, freedom, and openness.
We must have confidence that, by the power of focusing our mind on the Buddha of Loving-Kindness with devotion, the total openness, loving-kindness, which has always been ready to awaken in our mind, has now been awakened. With such unwavering confidence, we should recognize and trust that loving-kindness has taken birth in us today!
Our Karma Determines Our Future
According to Buddhism, the cycles of cause and effect of our negative deeds (karma) yield only pain. When we die and our mind escapes from the web of our material body, we begin our journey through th
e transitional state (bardo) to our next rebirth. Whether our subsequent rebirths are pleasant or not depends on the habits that we have generated in our mind. Whatever negative experience we have today is the product of some unwholesome mental and emotional tendency, or karma, from our past. In the earlier example, the unhappy episode grew from a thought of disliking a co-worker.
Karma can also work in our favor, however. Thanks to karma, if we could sow a seed of positive perceptions and feelings, we could turn our mental and emotional tendencies to positive ones and start to enjoy a peaceful and joyful life.
That’s why, if we can see clearly and feel deeply the incredible qualities of the Buddha of Loving-Kindness from our hearts, and if we can strengthen that feeling, then before long, our mind will be able to enjoy the Buddha’s real enlightened qualities. His all-knowing wisdom, unconditional love, and invincible power will gradually awaken in us. Our mental and physical activities will turn into the sources of benefits for many, as we share the lights of love and happiness with whomever we are in communication with.
The Heart of Unconditional Love Page 6