by J. N. Chaney
The way he said it made me think it wasn’t the first time.
Instead of offering my hand as I might have to another unedited person, I nodded in acknowledgement. “Good to have you awake, Jay. I trust you’ve been brought up to date?”
His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, then corrected so fast that no one who wasn’t one of the Black Shield would have seen it. “Yes, sir.”
“Good. Let’s talk.” I turned to Director Wright. “I’ll be in your office at 1800.”
The man looked from me to Jay, appraising. “Why do I feel like I need to tell you two to play nice?”
Jay’s face went slack at the informal tone but he recovered quickly. “My civilian training has not been as extensive as 94—Kent’s, Director. Given time, I will acclimate.”
“We’ll be fine,” I assured Wright.
“I expect nothing less. Get to work. We don’t have much time.”
He left us on that note. Both Jay and I watched him go until he disappeared from view. When he had, our eyes locked once more. Without the company, I saw something there. Pain.
“Headache?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Come with me.”
He didn’t move. “With all due respect, Director Wright told us to get to work.”
I considered my words carefully. Unlike everyone else on this ship, I knew exactly what Jay was going through, both physically and mentally.
“In order to do the job, I need you at one hundred percent. As your direct superior, that’s an order.”
To anyone listening, it might have sounded like I was pulling rank. Or, as Tara put it, being an asshole. The truth was that Jay had been thrown into a new situation. Where no one had been there to help me, I could try to ease some of the discomfort.
“How long have you been awake?”
“Thirty-one hours, sir.”
“Emergency recovery?”
“Yes, sir.”
Okay, I was starting to understand why people gave me looks when I used the same language. It was annoying.
Falling silent, I led the way to a smaller med closet in one of the maintenance shafts. It had been damaged during the attack and blocked off. Because of its location, most people didn’t even know it existed. I’d put something there in case it was ever needed.
I reached inside and grabbed my makeshift emergency kit that held dosages of a dampener cocktail. Even when the time had passed where I might have used it, something prevented me from getting rid of it.
Jay recoiled when I uncoded the small box and showed it to him. “I do not use illegals.”
Looking down, my confusion dissipated when I saw how it must look to him. Instead of designated injections that would have been neatly labeled, there was a small collection of pressure syringes that could have held anything.
“AMI,” I hailed, holding up my wrist.
Her catsuit-clad form appeared a few beats later. “Yes, Kent?”
“Please explain to 1286-J what I am holding in my hands.”
“Of course.” She spun on an elegant high heel to face him. “There are no dampeners on board the Exodus Ark. They were deemed unnecessary. Without them, you will continue to experience withdrawal. Our fearless leader here had the same experience.”
Surprise registered on Jay’s face at the admission.
“So, I helped Kent make up a few doses in case there was a problem. The doctor on staff weaned him, but at that point he was already half off of them.”
“They are for emergencies,” I told him. “Take one now. Then you can go to the medical bay after our debrief. Dr. Gray can assist you.”
He took the offered dose, and his hand shook slightly. Now I knew why he’d been standing so stiffly when we first met.
When the syringe was empty, I locked the box and placed it back in the closet. I didn’t like that there was a slight urge to palm one of the syringes for myself, but that would be pointless. On top of that, AMI would see and no doubt give me an earful.
As for Jay, the change was instantaneous, and I could all but see the headache receding. “Better?”
He relaxed a fraction as the dose hit the rest of his system. “Yes, sir.”
I almost told him not to sir me, then decided to wait. Like mine, Jay’s world had been turned upside down. Too many changes at once would just exacerbate that. Given his history, I thought it best to let him keep a few things normal.
“Good. Remember to stay hydrated. That will help. Let’s go.”
He followed me back out to the main hall, but I had to stop when I realized I didn’t know where we were going. “Where have you been planning while I’ve been on planet?”
“This way, sir.”
I let him take the lead, though it felt somewhat... wrong. Like I was giving up my position. A few weeks ago, I’d have preferred someone tell me what to do. Now that I was intimately involved in the fight with the First, things had changed. I had changed. My gaze flicked to Jay, and I couldn’t stop the stab of envy that hit me.
Then again, the withdrawal period hadn’t exactly been fun.
We came to a stop in front of a conference room near the main security hub where I’d first woken. Jay stepped back, waiting for me to enter. It felt odd knowing that back home he would have been above me in BSC ranking, but this wasn’t home.
I stepped inside and found a holo table waiting for me.
In the corner, light shimmered and pixelated, forming a familiar face. I was used to seeing her on a small scale though. The image before me came up to my shoulder.
“AMI. I didn’t know we had this capability.”
“It’s something I’ve been working on. I have to say, being human sized has its perks.” She looked down at an arm and smiled. “Not whole, but as close as someone like me can get. Anyway, I’ve taken the liberty of queuing up your plans.”
“Okay, what do you got?”
She snapped her fingers, and lists began to cascade above the table. “Materials needed to build a new base. Separated into mobile and stationary. There are many avenues you can take. It all depends on how close you want to be to the mountain.”
“If we’re mobile, that doesn’t matter as much. Maybe we can use the ruins as a temporary location.”
“That is one option,” she agreed. “However, as my systems have been undergoing repair, I’ve been rescanning the planet’s surface.”
“You found something.” It wasn’t a question.
“I found lots of somethings. Most interesting were a number of buildings run by the Turned. The probabilities I ran scored high on the side of them being defensive encampments. Because they are already being used for that purpose, if you were to stake a claim on them they would be in a good position while also dealing a blow to Makin.”
I smiled, liking the idea. “AMI, identify the best outposts for us to hit based on location, probable inhabitants, etc.”
“Working.”
Jay had said nothing since entering the room, so I turned to him. “Have you had a chance to evaluate the security associates?”
“I have.”
“What are your first thoughts?”
His answer came immediately. “Inadequate to be effective as a fighting force. Sir.”
The pick me up had done its job. Jay’s face was completely devoid of emotion, and I knew this was his honest opinion. It was refreshing to know he meant exactly what he said with no subterfuge or confusion.
It also happened that I didn’t disagree. While some of the security personnel might be termed adept at combat, no one was on our level. There wasn’t much we could do but work with what we had.
“Whatever number AMI comes up with, double it. I want two teams ready to go. The rest will continue training until we need them. Hopefully we won’t.” I checked the time and saw I had about fifteen minutes to get to the Director’s office. “When you’re both done, send me the report.”
Jay saluted again, the movement stiff and exacting. I hesitated only slightly
, then returned it. The gesture felt familiar and foreign at the same time. It had been months since I’d saluted anyone, and it no longer felt natural.
As I exited the room, I decided I didn’t envy Jay after all. The former Black Shield operative had only experienced a taste of what his new future would be. He was in for a rude awakening and a longer road.
11
“I still don’t see why you’re doing this,” chided AMI.
The AI was in my ear instead of utilizing the holo visual on my wrist unit. I had the distinct feeling that she was doing it out of spite.
“As I mentioned before, civilian training covered this. It’s considered good etiquette in situations like this.”
“That’s all fine, but didn’t Director Wright order you to get some rack time? That should be priority.”
I paused in front of the hospital entrance, considering. “His exact words were ‘You need to refuel and get some rest,’ AMI. I don’t think that qualifies as an order.”
She must have sensed the argument was fruitless because the next thing I heard was an irritated hmph, followed by the telltale click that signaled she’d ended the open comms channel.
Sooner or later I was going to have to deal with the discord between the two, but for now I had a task. The Ark was a colony ship and as such benefited from a number of medical bays scattered strategically throughout. The Hospital Hub was the largest and functioned like the ones back home, if on a smaller scale.
It had an emergency section, a few private rooms, surgery suites, and ample recovery units. After the First’s initial attack, the place had been crowded with the wounded and dying. Ever since our arrival in Red Shift and then Kainos, the rooms had gradually cleared.
I found Tara in one of the recovery wings, alone. She still looked pale, but much better than when I’d last seen her. As I approached the bed, a muscle in her face twitched and I stopped to study her.
“Nice of you to come see me, Chief,” she said without opening her eyes.
“Glad to see you aren’t getting lax while lazing around,” I told her. “I’m a little surprised you knew it was me though.”
She scoffed, cracking one eye open a fraction. “You kidding me? You might move like a ghost on an op but get you around civilized people and I’d know that clomp anywhere.”
“I do not clomp,” I retorted, somewhat offended.
I moved closer to the bed and stuck out my hand, offering my recent purchase to her. Tara’s eyes widened and her mouth fell slightly open.
“You—you bought me flowers?”
Looking down at the bouquet she had to take, I frowned and started to withdraw my arm. “Well, if you don’t want them.”
“Oh, I do.” She snatched them before I could pull back. “I just didn’t know you knew that was a thing.”
“Ah, so you don’t know everything about people training,” I told her, only half serious. “I don’t pretend to understand how this can improve your health, but I need you back on duty eventually.”
She let out a laugh, one of the light and airy ones that didn’t come often. I liked it, though I couldn’t have said why. “They don’t fix anything medically. It’s just a nice gesture that can make someone feel good. It can help mentally. It’s harder to heal if you’re a sourpuss all the time.”
I looked around at all the equipment in the room. “Isn’t that what all this is for? Healing?”
“Sure. But there is such a thing as the will to live.”
Huh. I’d never thought about that before. It was true, and something I had seen in person. That’s why not every Black Shield trainee became a full fledged agent. The ones that didn’t make the grade were disposed of. If we wanted to live, we had to prove it. I supposed the methodology wasn’t much different when applied to other situations.
“Fair enough. You’ve missed some stuff while you were napping. Want me to brief you?”
She held up a pad. “I have the basics. AMI’s working on this outpost situation with Kent 2.0.”
I stared at her. “Excuse me? There isn’t a cloned version of me.”
“The secondary Mission Ward,” she clarified. “It’s a joke. He’s former Black Shield, like you.”
“Oh, I see. Yes, 1286, new designation Jay. He’s coordinating with AMI. Once we hear from Riva, we can solidify how to move forward to construct the first ground base.”
“Sounds like a plan, boss. Can’t wait to pay those assholes back for...”
Her words trailed off and both lids started to droop. I started to back away when they fluttered open again and her hand reached out to grab mine. “Thanks for coming, Kent.”
The unexpected touch threw me off and by the time I recovered, Tara was out again, snoring gently.
“The flowers are nice, Chief Mission Ward.”
I glanced over my shoulder to find Dr. Gray in the doorway. “The gift shop told me they’re treated and should last a long time,” I said after disentangling my hand from Tara’s.
“That’s good. I’m sure she appreciates them. Why don’t I put them in some water anyway? Familiar aesthetics can be comforting.”
“For healing,” I commented.
The doctor looked over in surprise. “Yes, I suppose some say that. I must confess that I just like getting flowers. Never been good at keeping them alive long. Still, there’s something about getting flowers that makes a woman feel good. I guess I’m just a walking cliche.”
I had no idea what she was going on about but didn’t say so.
“Well. As far as Miss Perez’s health goes, the wound is already healing on schedule. She’s tired, which is to be expected from regrowing tissue. She’ll be back on her feet by morning.”
“Thanks. I’d like to stay updated on her progress.”
“Of course, Chief.” She paused, drawing in a breath. It was the sound of someone steeling their resolve.
Curious, I took in her body language. The slight crease in her forehead and tight jaw spoke to some unknown tension, as did the grip she had on the flowers.
“Is everything okay, Dr. Gray?”
“Yes, mostly.” Another hesitation, but this time her gaze shot to where Tara lay. “I do need to speak with you about another matter, however. Would you accompany me to my office?”
As we walked, I wondered what could be bothering her. Nothing came to mind, so I continued the short walk in silence.
“Please, sit,” she said, motioning to a visitor chair when the door closed behind us.
I didn’t really feel like sitting, but I did anyway with the hope it would put her at ease. Dr. Gray went to a wall cabinet and pulled out a vase. She set the flowers on the counter a few seconds later, neatly arranged.
“I’ll make sure to get those back to Miss Perez,” she assured me. “Now, for the reason I asked to speak privately. I spoke with your secondary Mission Ward a little while ago.”
“Designation Jay,” I confirmed. “Yes, I told him to come see you. Is there a problem with his acclimation?”
Leaning a hip against the desk, she pursed her lips, then visibly relaxed. “There isn’t. But I am concerned by what he told me. That you supplied him with your own private concoction of dampener medications.”
“Yes, I did, after observing symptoms of withdrawals similar to what I experienced. This appears to be an issue, but I don’t understand why.”
“I can see that,” she murmured. “And I can see that you didn’t mean any harm, so I won’t berate you. Still, this is a problem.”
I frowned at her. “If one of my people were hurt in combat, like Tara was today, I’d administer first aid. As you saw with the Volcuri herbs, sometimes the unconventional is best.”
“Out in the field you do what you have to,” she agreed. “On a fully staffed ship with access to all the medical services you would need, you defer to the chief of hospital staff. Namely, me.”
It took some doing, but I kept my temper in check. “Dr. Gray, I wasn’t aware of a policy that required me t
o gain permission for something like that.”
She threw her hands up, agitated. “It’s not about permission, Chief. It’s about common sense. You don’t have a medical degree.”
I found myself getting angry now. “Common sense is that no one knows what is required of Black Shield agents to be efficient, or what it feels like not to get the dampeners because Rodon Corporation is too cheap.”
The doctor’s face immediately softened and her eyes filled with pity. It wasn’t the first time someone had looked at me that way. Before I hadn’t really cared, but now, for some reason, it bothered me.
“You’re right. I didn’t take that into account and I’m sorry. But look at it from my point of view. The dampener cocktail you made was based on your body chemistry and physical needs. It could have had a serious adverse effect on Jay. We can’t afford to lose either of you to a simple mistake.”
The heat of anger began to cool as I took in the explanation and saw she was right. Abruptly, I got to my feet. “You have my apologies. It won’t happen again.”
“Kent, wait. I really am sorry. It’s true that no one can possibly know what you’ve gone through or what you’re still going through. No one except Jay. That has to be hard. If you need to talk to someone—”
“I’m a soldier, ma’am. That won’t be necessary.”
Tara might have had something to say about being rude to a fellow professional, but I didn’t care right then. All I wanted was to be away. Given the day I’d had, my next stop should have been my sleeping quarters. I was too wired to sleep and opted for physical activity instead.
I was itching for a fight.
If I looked hard enough, I might have even found one. As satisfying as that would be, I knew better than to be that stupid. Most of the gyms aboard the ship were untouched and featured plenty of machines that I could punch.
A few minutes later, I was dressed in activewear emblazoned with the Exodus Ark logo and standing in front of a combat dummy. Satisfaction surged through me when my fist plowed into its face the first time.
Reveling in the catharsis, I rained down more blows and let myself forget.