Love Means Everything

by Emma Easter

  Fifteen minutes later, Rania came out dressed in a long, lilac gown and a matching turban. She got into the back of her car and her driver drove away. Nabil came out ten minutes later and was driven away in his black Mercedes.

  Zainah heaved a sigh of relief and came out from behind the curtain. She carried her gear to Rania’s room and cleaned the entire room and bathroom in an hour. She went to the master bedroom and started cleaning the bathroom first. Soon, she heard the bedroom door open, and assuming it was Mira, continued cleaning. Two minutes later, when Mira still hadn’t come into the bathroom, she went out to see what the caretaker wanted.

  Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of Nabil standing in the middle of the room, staring at her. She forced a smile and greeted him. “Good morning, sir. I thought you had left.”

  He gave her a sly smile. “Of course you did. You have been avoiding me for weeks now. I’ve finally caught you.”

  Her heart began to race in fear as she looked at him. The lustful look in his eyes told her clearly what his intentions were. She looked at the door and began to mentally calculate how she was going to get past him. She decided to distract him. Turning toward the bathroom, she forced herself to be calm and said, “There is something clogging the sink. Can you take a look at it?”

  He smiled smugly, clearly his way of letting her know that he knew what she was trying to do. “I’ll look at it later on. I’m more interested in looking at you now,” he began to walk toward her, “and touching you.”

  She desperately whispered under her breath, “Lord, please help me.” She waited for him to reach her and then dived for the door. She twisted the handle but it did not open. He had locked it. She shook the door in frustration and then turned to glare at him.

  “Open the door now or I’ll scream!”

  He laughed. “No one is going to hear you. I sent everyone away on errands.”

  She began to suck in deep breaths as terror gripped her. “Please let me go.”

  Like a flash of lightning, he reached her and grabbed her hands. “I’m not going to hurt you, Zainah. I just want us to enjoy…”

  She kicked him as hard as she could in the stomach, and he doubled over. He groaned as he held his belly and she frantically searched his pants pocket for the key. Finding it, she unlocked the door. Quickly, before he could recover, she ran out of the room and down the stairs. She bolted out of the house, ran to the staff quarters, and entered her room. Leila was still in her nightgown, roaming the room aimlessly.

  Zainah yelled, “Leila, pack your things now! We’re leaving!”

  “What!” Leila’s face contorted with confusion.

  Zainah threw open the closet, brought out a traveling bag, and began to grab the small number of clothes she had. She dumped them into the bag, along with her two pairs of shoes. She looked up at Leila, who was still staring at her, a perplexed look on her face.

  “Leila, I said you should get your things. We are leaving this place right now!”

  “Why?” Leila asked, unmoving.

  Zainah said, “I’ll explain later, but we need to leave now. Before…” She stopped talking and began to bring out Leila’s clothes as well. She dumped them on the bed. “Here are your clothes, Leila. Pack them up into a bag now!”

  She quickly zipped up her own traveling bag and then looked at Leila, who was slowly packing her bag while grumbling.

  “I don’t even know why we are packing, Zainah. Can’t this wait until tomorrow?”

  Zainah sighed in frustration as she watched Leila packing her things very slowly. She went out to the door, opened it, and looked out. Thankfully, Nabil was nowhere in sight. But who knew when he would decide to come after her? She went back to Leila and saw that her friend had stopped packing.

  “What are you doing, Leila?” she cried. “Why are you not packing your things?”

  “I don’t want to leave, that’s why. How can you suddenly decide…?”

  “Nabil tried to rape me!” Zainah said.

  Leila’s eyes grew round and her mouth fell open. She shook her head and said, “He what?”

  “Please, Leila. I’ll tell you about it later. Pack up!”

  Leila began to pack her things quickly. In just a minute, she said, “I’m through, Zainah. Let’s go.”

  Zainah hastily left the room with Leila. She was thankful no one was around as they ran to the gate. The security men looked at them a little strangely.

  One of them stopped her and Leila. Zainah’s heart drummed as he looked at their bags and asked, “Are you both leaving?”

  She tried to steady her voice as best as she could as she said, “Just running some errands, that’s all.”

  He nodded to the man who manned the gates. Zainah breathed a sigh of relief when the gate opened up for them.

  They walked for a long time, on their way to Fatima’s house. At last, Leila sighed wearily. “I can’t go on anymore with this bag. Can’t we take a taxi there?”

  Zainah mentally calculated how much she had. Most of her earnings from her housekeeping at the Rahmanis were in the bank account she’d opened when she’d started the job. She had a little cash with her, but she needed all the money she had now. Tears stung her eyes as she realized she wouldn’t be able to hire the private investigator anytime soon, as she still didn’t have enough money. There was no point keeping what little she had on her, anyway. She might as well get a taxi for both of them before they fainted on the way.

  They stood by the road and waited. Soon, a taxi approached and they waved it down. They entered after telling the driver where they were going. They got to Fatima’s thirty minutes later.

  After Zainah narrated everything that had happened, Fatima shook her head with a mournful look on her face. “I feel so guilty. I wish I had not encouraged you to work for that beast. I should have suspected something when Hadiza told me the Rahmanis’ former maid quit so suddenly. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Zainah said. “You couldn’t have known.”

  Fatima sighed sadly. “Anyway, you are both welcome to stay as long as you like. I hope you will be able to get another job soon.”

  Zainah nodded. It was imperative that she did or she could kiss finding Faizan goodbye.

  Chapter Eleven

  Faizan looked up from his Bible when someone called his name. He had come to the church earlier than usual for the welfare meeting. He’d gone to Trisha’s in the afternoon, and since he had stayed a bit longer than usual, he had decided to go straight to church so he wouldn’t be late for the meeting.

  Lauren stood in front of him, smiling.

  He smiled back at her. “Hi, Lauren,” he said. “You are early today.”

  She sat next to him and nodded. “I went to visit the Gibsons and decided to come straight to church rather than go home.”

  He grinned. “Same here. I went to Trish’s house and then came straight here.”

  “How is Trisha?” Lauren asked. “I haven’t seen her since her engagement party.”

  Faizan shrugged. “She’s still with Stan, if that is what you are asking. She and Audrey are at loggerheads these days. Ken must have told you how Audrey is. She says exactly what is on her mind.”

  Lauren grinned. “I have actually been at the receiving end of her brutal frankness. She once threatened to shoot me.”

  Faizan lifted his brows. “What?”

  Lauren laughed. “She thought Ken and I were an item. That was before they got married.”

  Faizan shook his head, amused by the story.

  “So, Audrey told Trisha exactly how she feels about her fiancé?” Lauren asked.

  Faizan nodded. “Trish was angry with her for not coming to the party and confronted her about it. Audrey told her, amongst other things, that she would not step into her house until she got rid of Stan.”

  “I don’t blame her for saying that. I would if she were my sister, and if I had the guts that Audrey has.”

  Faizan chuckled. “I
guess Audrey says the things that are on our minds but which we are too scared or diplomatic to say.” He remembered how brash and unsympathetic he’d been before he’d given his life to Christ and said, “I used to be like Audrey in my past life, but much worse. At least Audrey’s brutal honesty comes from a place of love. Mine came from a place of self-aggrandizement and a total lack of empathy.”

  Images of his past, times when he’d been a total jerk, crossed his mind, and he shuddered. Where would he be if Christ hadn’t saved him? He might be dead now and in a place of eternal suffering for all his sins.

  Lauren gazed at him with curiosity clearly written on her face. “I’ve only heard bits and pieces of your testimony. Can you tell me about it?”

  He looked up thoughtfully and said to her, “I don’t know if you’ll want to hear the details of my life before I met Christ. I don’t even want to remember the kind of person I was.”

  “I can handle it. Just like I told you, I come from a pretty violent past as well.”

  “I know you do,” he said. “But the violence in your past was perpetrated against you. Mine is the other way around. I was terribly violent. Just what you’d expect of a…” He sighed, not wanting to say the word “terrorist.”

  “If it’s too painful for you to tell me, you don’t have to.”

  “It is painful, but I’ll tell you. The Lord has delivered me from it all.” He gave her a brief but thorough narration of his past. When he was through, he laughed harshly. “I haven’t done that in a year. But it’s good to remember how far the Lord has brought me.”

  She shook her head as she gazed at him. Finally, she said, “Wow! What a story. You have truly come a long way.”

  He smiled and then realized that she was the first person he’d actually told in real detail about his past. Several times, he’d been called upon to tell his testimony in church on Sunday or at mid-week services. He had always kept some of the more violent stories to himself. He blinked. He hadn’t even shared his past in such detail with Zainah. He wondered at that. Why had he been so comfortable sharing so much with Lauren when he hadn’t with Zainah? He searched his mind but came up with nothing.

  He started when Lauren took his hand in hers, and she quickly let go. “I’m sorry,” she said, looking embarrassed. “You looked so troubled that I wanted to offer some comfort.”

  He gave her a small smile. “It’s okay. I’m not offended.”

  Her eyes searched his. “You told me that your heart belonged to another woman. Was she someone you met before you gave your heart to the Lord?”

  His heart suddenly filled with pain as he thought of Zainah. He didn’t want to talk about her with Lauren. He thinned his lips and then hid a sigh of relief when three other members of their welfare group came into the vestry. “We need to start now,” he said to Lauren and stood up. He went to the front of the group just as more members walked in.

  He struggled to put away the misery that had settled on him since Zainah had come to his mind a few minutes before. He raised a praise song and his group members joined in. He sang a few lines of the song, but found that nothing could distract him from his despair.

  He signaled for his assistant to take over the praise and prayer session and went to sit at the back, misery encircling him.

  Is this how my life will continue to go? he thought. Every time something brought Zainah to his mind, he grieved for her as though she were dead. If only he could see her again and at least get some relief from his despair.

  He remembered what Audrey had said to him some time before. She’d told him that seeing Zainah now might not bring the relief he thought it would. Audrey believed it would make his pain worse since he would not be able to act on his love for her.

  He thought about it for a short while and knew it was true. It would be pure torture to see her again and be reminded that they could never be together. He couldn’t touch her the way he wanted, he couldn’t kiss her. Most of all, he wouldn’t even be able to really tell her he still loved her with all his heart, as he didn’t want to interfere in any way with the vow she’d made to God.

  Why do you keep torturing yourself like this? he thought. He looked up and the first person he saw was Lauren. Her golden hair swayed back and forth as she danced to the rhythm of the praise song. She lifted her hands in worship and he sighed. Here was a girl who was beautiful, loved God, and liked him. She had actually expressed her desire to date him. Like Trisha had asked him, he wondered why he couldn’t just open up his heart to find love with someone else. It was over a year now since he’d seen Zainah. It wasn’t like she was going to break her vow to God, nor would he encourage her to do so, and that was if he ever saw her again.

  He shut his eyes. Maybe he needed to give Lauren a chance; to give himself a chance to love and be loved by someone other than Zainah.

  But his heart rebelled against the thought. He loved Zainah too much, and he knew she loved him, even though they couldn’t ever be in a romantic relationship.

  When he got home from church, he found Ken alone in the living room.

  “Where is Audrey?” he asked.

  “She went to Green Valley to see Sienna. I think she’ll spend the whole day with her and return tomorrow morning.”

  Faizan sat across from Ken and looked at him. “You have to help me, man. I’m going crazy thinking about Zainah. Please call Jake.”

  Ken shook his head. “I’m not calling Jake anymore. You call him yourself. You remember what he said the last time you told me to call him because of your Zainah. He flat out refused your request to see her.”

  “Ken, you have to try again,” Faizan pleaded. “If I thought he would listen to me, I would call him myself. But I know he won’t. He’s your friend, so he’s bound to at least hear you out. I need to see Zainah, or at least speak to her on the phone. I know he can make that happen.”

  Ken shrugged. “I don’t know, Faizan. Okay, I’ll try to call Jake, but I don’t think his answer will be different from what he told me last time.”

  Faizan stared intently at Ken, and Ken raised his brows. “Oh… you want me to call him right now?”

  “Yes,” Faizan said. “Please.”

  Ken looked weary. He sighed loudly and then picked up his cellphone from the coffee table. Faizan watched as he dialed a number and then put the phone to his ear. A few seconds later, he said, “Hi, Jake. I’m calling because of my brother in-law.” He paused and then sighed. “Yes, that one.”

  He told Jake about Faizan’s request.

  Faizan had not spoken to him for a long time, but as Ken argued with the man, Faizan decided he needed to speak to Jake himself.

  “Let me talk to him,” he said to Ken, as his brother in-law didn’t seem to be getting anywhere with Jake.

  Ken sighed again and handed Faizan the phone. Without mincing words, Faizan told Jake about his quandary concerning Zainah and that he needed to see her.

  “I have already told Ken that it’s not going to happen. You can’t leave the country.”

  Faizan had fully expected the reply Jake gave him. He went to his plan B. “You have operatives all over that region. Send one of them with a phone to the women’s camp so I can at least speak to Zainah and know she’s okay.”

  Jake didn’t say anything for some seconds, and then he said, “Okay. It’s not my priority right now… but if I find someone we trust over there, I’ll let you know. We can arrange for you to talk to your friend then.”

  Jake’s answer seemed slightly evasive to Faizan, but he knew it was the best he was going to get for now. He exhaled and then said, “Okay then. Thanks.”

  When the call ended, Faizan looked at Ken and shook his head. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope Jake keeps his word. But if I don’t hear from him in two weeks’ time, I’m going to have to contact him again.”

  Ken nodded. “Yeah! I guess all you can do right now is to keep your fingers crossed.”

  A thought flashed through
Faizan’s mind. Here is what you can do right now. You can just move on!

  He shut his eyes to get rid of the thought. He wasn’t going to move on.

  His emotions continued to roil as the logical part of him kept telling him he needed to move on, while his heart held on tightly to the woman he loved dearly. He knew holding on meant continued misery, but he couldn’t help it. He decided as he went to his room that he would find a way to see Zainah, or at least speak to her, with or without Jake’s help. Even if that later left his heart in tatters.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sienna opened the door and grinned when she saw her sister there, a duffel bag in her hand. Audrey had already told her on the phone that she was coming to spend the day with her. Since then, she’d been waiting excitedly for Audrey to arrive.

  Sienna hugged her sister and then chuckled as Audrey bent down and rubbed her belly. “You haven’t added any weight, Sienna,” she said. “But you are super slim anyway, so I guess you might not even add much until you are almost ready to give birth to your baby.”

  “I probably will way before then,” Sienna said. She sat down on the couch and Audrey sat beside her.

  “Where is Bryan?” Audrey asked.

  “He’s taking a nap. We went to see his parents this morning. His brother was there with his wife and four kids. Bryan played with those boisterous kids throughout our visit. I think they tired him out.”

  Audrey laughed. “He better get used to spending time with kids. I know you want lots of children.”

  “I do… and so does he.” Sienna’s smile widened. “I’m so happy that you came to spend the day with me, Audrey. But I feel a little sorry for Ken. He’ll miss you.”

  Audrey chuckled. “He’ll survive. Besides, we sometimes have to spend a full day apart when I come to Rosefield before he does or vice versa.”

  Sienna sighed sadly. “You both are so lucky to be able to move back and forth between Rosefield and Miami.”

  Audrey’s eyes pierced hers. “You look sad suddenly, Sienna. What’s wrong?”