People at the tavern looked up as soon as Paul entered. They stared at him—from the top of his head to the tip of his toe. And suddenly Paul realised he was dressed very poorly indeed. Everybody else wore clothes made of silk threads with belt buckles made of diamonds. When Paul approached them to make conversation, they turned away. Nobody wanted to talk to him. They gave him food alright (for everything was free in that country), but otherwise no one was interested in him.
Paul spent some time in the City of Gold, but he did not make a single friend. Finally, he said to himself, “I am very lonely with no one to talk to. I am different from these people. Although it is very comfortable here, I think I shall go away.”
And so the next day, Paul resumed his journey. After many days of travelling, he came across a beautiful valley, lush and green with vegetation. As he approached closer, he saw a number of beautiful giants! They had long flaxen hair and deep blue eyes, slender bodies and long, elegant limbs, “This must surely be an ideal place,” Paul thought.
He ran as fast as he could until he reached the edge of the valley. He could hear a dog barking, coming closer, followed by his mistress. “I’m sorry Apollo has bothered you, come, Apollo.” She was the most beautiful living being Paul had ever seen and in spite of himself, he could not take his eyes off her.
“Tell me, Miss, what is this place? And what are those large glasses you have around your neck?” Paul was trying to make conversation, for in truth, he simply didn’t want her to leave.
“You must be new here,” she replied, looking at him rather curiously. “Our place is called ‘Valley of the Gods’. Legend has it that our forefathers came from a place called Mount Mythikas. And these pair of glasses?” She was laughing, “Why, they’re magnifying glasses. You see, we’re so tall that sometimes, especially when a thing is tiny, we can’t see it very well. So, I have to wear them all the time. By law. You end up in jail if the police see you not wearing them. But they’re ugly, aren’t they? I don’t wear them when no one is looking,” she giggled. “You won’t tell on me, will you?” Having been reassured by Paul, she merrily skipped along, Apollo running at her heels.
Paul stayed for a long time in that valley, for he enjoyed looking at beautiful people in that beautiful land. But after a while, Paul grew tired of the snickers he would hear when people thought he wasn’t listening, or the curiosity he would elicit whenever he walked down the streets. For, indeed, Paul looked different. He was fat and squat where everyone else was slim and tall. He had black hair and black eyes when the rest had light hair and eyes. He thought light was beautiful and dark ugly. And he sported a little moustache on his round face when everyone else’s skin was smooth and clean.
One day, Paul said to himself: “The Valley of the Gods is truly beautiful. But I have no single friend here and I am lonely. Even if I shaved my moustache, I would still look different, so very different. I think I shall have to go.”
So, Paul resumed his journey once more. He travelled for months without seeing any human habitation. Finally, he saw a man who, like him, was dark and squat. Paul was very happy indeed. “Stranger,” he hailed the man excitedly. “I am tired and hungry. Do you by any chance know of an inn where I could spend the night?” Of course, what Paul really wanted was to be invited into the stranger’s country.
The stranger was very friendly and told Paul to follow him. On the way, he chatted amiably. His country was small as well, just like Paul’s.
“Are your streets paved with gold? Are your women beautiful?” asked Paul.
“Oh no, we live simply. Some of our women are, perhaps, beautiful and some aren’t. These things are not very important to us,” the stranger’s voice was reassuring. “Come and see for yourself.”
Paul’s room in the inn was clean and comfortable, and soon he was ready to come down to dinner. He could hear the buzz of voices, and soon saw groups of people at round tables engaged in animated discussion. Paul spotted an empty chair at one of the tables and decided to join them. “Ah,” said a youngster addressing Paul, “what is Pi R Squared?” Paul smiled for he was indeed hungry. “A square pie should be delicious! Can I have one please?”
Suddenly, the room fell into hushed silence. An older man whom Paul presumed must have been one of the leaders of the group asked him, “If you were travelling at the speed of light, how many years before you reach Mars?” Paul had never heard of any such thing about Mars Bars, and even though it was his favourite, words failed him and he could only manage to gulp. Everyone stared at him in amazement before slowly turning around and resuming their conversation. Paul could only hear snippets of them. “When the elasticity of demand…” said one. “In behaviour therapy, reciprocal inhibition…” said another.
Night after night, Paul joined them at their discussion tables, but nobody minded him. Finally, Paul admitted to himself. “I have spent a great deal of time here and have tried hard to make friends. But no one wants to be with me because I am so different. I am lonely. I think it is time to leave this Land of Brilliance.”
Paul didn’t know where else to go, so he decided to go home. “At home,” he said, “it is hot and it rains all day. Above all, we have the dragon. But at least, I have my family and friends. And the other people there are just like me.”
His family and friends were overjoyed to see him. Paul was so happy he didn’t even think of the dragon. Instead, when it rained mud, he remembered the crystal dome he saw in his travels. Such a dome would protect us from the mud, he thought. When he saw a tiny flower bud peep through, he remembered the magnifying glasses of the beautiful woman he had met. If only he had a pair of these, he thought, he would be better able to see the splendour of that bud.
“Those countries I visited in my travels, they did something to solve their problems. We can do the same,” Paul decided.
The next year saw Paul busily making round tables and chairs, much like the ones at which he had sat. When the tables and chairs were all finished, he invited everyone who would like to come, to discuss what they could do to make their country beautiful and rich again. At first, few people came to Paul’s nightly discussions. Instead, most would all say, “There is nothing we can do to slay the dragon. We cannot solve such a big problem. We’re simply wasting our time.” So they would stay home and sleep.
Even those who came were not helpful as they only grumbled and exchanged shocking stories about the evil deeds of the dragon. Finally, Paul turned around and asked: “How do you eat an elephant? Or a dragon, for that matter?” No one could answer him. “Piece by piece,” Paul said.
And so, they sat down and made their plans, each table tackling its own “piece”. When others heard of the progress being made at Paul’s nightly discussions, they too decided to join. In no time, three groups were formed.
Allowed into these groups were only those who could prove they were pure of heart, and their minds had to be cleansed of all distracting thoughts. They had to swear that they would not be lured into the dragon’s treasures, for many a noble person had been ensnared by these treasures. And they must be ready to often go hungry, for the journey to the dragon’s lair was long and arduous with no source of nourishment along the way.
At last they were ready.
The first group, headed by Mariana the Smart, talked to the goblins and elves. These loyal servants of the dragon guarded its treasures, which were found underneath each tentacle. They alone could lift the tentacles and distribute the treasures to anyone who could give them information about what people in Paul’s country might be plotting against their master. Cleverly, Mariana and her group fooled the goblins and the elves by giving them wrong information so that the dragon thought the country continued to cower in fear.
The second group, headed by Javi the Bold, went to talk to the dwarfs who knew where the dragon lived. The drawfs, too, suffered from the dragon’s tyranny and readily cooperated. They were tasked with na
iling the tentacles of the dragon to the ground while it slept.
While Javi’s group immobilised the dragon’s tentacles, the third group headed by Paul were riding on the wings of a giant eagle. At the eagle’s head was Myza the Fair, the helmswoman who steered the bird, with directions relayed by Mariana through a magic earpiece, which Myza wore. The old hag who had tried to slay the dragon once before sat on one wing, brewing her magic potion that would make the dragon sleep forever. On the other wing sat Paul, getting ready to attack the monster.
Paul and his friends knew they were nearing the dragon’s lair as they heard its snores like thunder, getting louder and louder. The fire from the dragon’s breath grew hotter, the flames leapt higher and the smell turned fouler. Soon, they were directly on top of its open mouth. Very quietly (for the dragon was known to be a light sleeper), Paul lowered himself inside its mouth and poured the hag’s magic potion, making sure not one drop was lost. The dragon gagged and snapped its mouth shut just as Paul lifted his foot clear from it. The old hag and Myza the helmswoman hastily hoisted the rope on which Paul clung for dear life. As the dragon, with eyes wild, jerked its head to catch them, trying with all its might to lift its nailed tentacles, the eagle swiftly flew away.
From the distance, they could see the monster suddenly give up the chase, yawning with its jaws stretched wide. Its eyes rolled up, its lids drooped down, and it was instantly asleep, forever.
When Paul and the rest of the members of the expedition reached their homes, they were surprised to see everyone there had fallen asleep too. Slowly, as the spell broke, each one opened their eyes—one eye first, then the other—rubbing the sleep from them. They turned to one side, then the next, before slowly sitting up, and finally standing so they could see what the commotion was about. But Paul, Mariana, Javi, Myza and all their friends saw how everyone suddenly looked healthier and stronger and happier. The evil dragon was gone and with it the hot mud and the putrid smell Paul’s country became beautiful again.
There was much rejoicing in the land. Paul invited the people he had met on his journey to share with him and his friends in their celebrations. But just in case, everyone had their turn to volunteer as look out, to make absolutely sure the dragon stayed asleep forever.
Acknowledgements
I want to give my sincerest appreciation to Karl French for his mentorship—pointing me in the right direction, to Fran Bailey for patiently editing my manuscript, to Joe Sedgwick for his many helpful suggestions and referrals, and to Matador for its assistance in the production of this book.
Special thanks go to my niece, Mariana Bantug, for reading my first drafts and encouraging me to move on, to Gerry van der Linden for giving me feedback on my chapter on religion, and to Christian Perez for his stories that have contributed to my chapter on collectivism.
Finally, I would like to especially mention my young assistants who helped me put the book together—encoding texts, arranging photographs, compiling entries for the glossary of terms and bibliography, and—the most tedious part of all—getting copyright permissions for the various quotes used in the book. Thank you, Kristine Lanting, Jennylyn Noriega, and Vernalyn Mendoza.
Glossary Of Tagalog
And Ilonggo Terms
Amo
n. boss; master; employer; manager
Aswang
n. shape-shifting flesh-eating witch in Filipino folklore, usually the subject of a wide variety of stories
Bagat
n. evil spirit who waylays passers-by in isolated locations
Bagonetas
n. carts on rails used to transport sugar cane from the haciendas to the mill
Bahala na
n. phrase that means “whatever happens, happens’; entrusting the uncertainty of the situation to fate
Bakya
n. footwear from local lightwood; wooden clogs
Balato
n.,v. money given away as goodwill. To give a gift to friends and companions in order to share one’s success
Balay Daku
n. big house
Balay Gamay
n. small house
Balik
v. to come back, to return (e.g. balik-scientist means return-scientist)
Barkada
n.,v. Philippine slang meaning to hang out or do common activities with regular members of the group; a gang
Basahan
n. scrap of cloth used for cleaning
Batibot
n. Filipino TV series patterned after Sesame Street
Bayan
n. town; country; fatherland or motherland
Bayani
n. hero; a person with extraordinary courage or bravery that ignores extreme danger and exhibits strength to overcome difficulties in order to serve the common good
Buhangin
n. sand
Bulalakaw
n. fiery bird in the Philippine mythology
Colegialia
n. girl attending an elite school, usually run by a religious order
Colegio
n. private school run by nuns
Capellas
n. chapel
Carosa
n. float in a parade
Daan Banwa
n. Old Town
Encomienda
n. land grants given by the Spanish crowns to their nationals living in the colonies
Espunghawo
n. naturally wavy hair
Filipina
n. Filipino girl or woman
Haciendas
n. large tracts of land used for extensive farming; plantation
Haciendero
n. farmer or farm owner
Handaan
n. a party
Hiyain
v. to embarrass or to shame causing one to lose face
Hiligaynon
n. member of people inhabiting Panay, Negros
Ilonggo
n. dialect spoken in Negros Occidental and some other areas in western Visayas
Kababayans
n. fellow countryman or hailing from the same town or province
Kaayong Lawas
n. good health
Katipunero
n. member of a secret society formed to raise armed rebellion against Spain
Lantiog
n. long-legged giants in Filipino methodology said to step over rooftops
Lechon
n. local dish featuring a whole roasted pig cooked on a spit over charcoal
Libingan
n. cemetery; graveyard
Lunok
n. big impenetrable tree, which could possibly be the grand house of spirits
Luzonian
n. natives or inhabitant of Luzon island
Mabait
adj. literally translates as “good” but usually in reference to being pleasant and easy to be with
Magikland
n. amusement and theme park in Negros
Mayamot
adj. tight-fisted
Mah-jong
n. game of Chinese origin usually played by four persons with 144 domino-like pieces or tiles marked in suits, counters, and dice, the object being to build a winning combination of pieces
Mahal
n. beloved
Mahinhin
adj. refined; artfully shy
Maskara
n. street festival in the island of Negros held every October; the word is of Spaniard origin meaning ‘mask’
When Turtles Come Home Page 24