There was something that Stevie wasn’t saying. Josh couldn’t decide what it was, exactly—was it too much to hope that she might be telling him that he wouldn’t have hurt her by offering her a ‘friendship with benefits’ because she wouldn’t have expected anything more than that? That she wasn’t actually looking for a long-term commitment from any man because she had her life sorted perfectly well enough already? He had to clear his throat before he could say anything else and, even then, the words came out in a low kind of growl.
‘What is it that you want, Stevie?’
‘I want to know that Mattie’s safe.’ Her words were no more than a whisper.
‘He is.’ It was a vow. ‘So are you.’
‘We are good at keeping secrets, aren’t we?’
‘We are.’ Josh held Stevie’s gaze and it felt as if he was pulling her closer and closing that gap between them. ‘And that kiss can always be a secret if that’s what you want.’
‘What do you want?’
Josh could feel a smile trying to escape. ‘It’s kind of more what I don’t want.’
‘Which is?’
‘To spend the rest of my life wondering—if just a kiss could be that mind blowing—what would it be like, even just once, to really make love to you?’
Oh...the way the electricity in the air between them reached a point where you could almost hear it sizzling. And the way Stevie’s tongue appeared to touch her lip like that as she struggled to find any words in response. It was all Josh could do not to lean in and close that distance between them instantly. But this had to be her choice. Maybe he did lean a little, because Lucky stirred and slid off the couch to go and lie down with a disgruntled thump by the fireplace. Stevie didn’t seem to have noticed.
‘Just once?’
‘Just us,’ Josh murmured. ‘Just tonight.’
Stevie’s eyes closed for a heartbeat. ‘A secret?’
‘You said it yourself. We’re good at secrets.’ He was so close to her now. How the heck had that happened? When Stevie opened her eyes, she was going to see that he was close enough to kiss her.
Or maybe she felt it and moved herself. Because Josh was quite sure he hadn’t leaned any closer but he could feel the warmth of her breath against his lips.
‘I know what I want.’ The words were no more than a sigh.
‘What’s that?’
‘You...’
Josh had to take a very deliberate, slow breath to steady himself before he gave in to the overwhelming need to kiss Stevie again. To scoop her into his arms and carry her to his bed.
To give her everything he had to give her of himself.
Because if it was only going to be once, he was going to make sure that neither of them would ever forget this night.
CHAPTER SIX
‘WHAT’S WITH THE hairy roof, Mum?’
‘It’s a thatched roof, Mattie. It’s old and special.’
‘Looks like it’s going bald.’
‘Yeah...it’s going to need some fixing up. Let’s go inside.’
‘Why?’
‘I told you. It’s the last open home before it gets sold this week and I wanted you to see it.’
‘Because you’re going to buy it?’
‘I hope so.’
Stevie lowered her voice as a couple went past them to go through the gate, not wanting anyone to hear any note of confidence in her voice, but it really did look as if things were coming together after weeks of effort. Her mother was providing a deposit from the ‘rainy day’ shares her father had put aside years ago and the bank was on board for a mortgage. Her limit for bidding in the auction was strict but she had to be in with a shout given how much work the cottage needed.
She clearly wasn’t the only person seriously interested, however. Judging by the effusive welcome from the smartly dressed estate agent waiting to greet the couple ahead of Stevie and Mattie at the front door, this wasn’t their first visit to the property. Turning her head, she glanced at the late model European car parked behind her reliable but rather old hatchback and it felt like her dream might be developing some slippery patches as she tried to hang onto it but that just made Stevie even more determined. She’d won battles before and this was definitely worth fighting for.
‘It’s got a garden,’ she told Mattie, brightly. ‘Just a little one, but there’s a village green not far down the road with plenty of room to ride a bike or kick a ball around.’
The mention of the garden seemed to have given Mattie a reason to get far more interested in this weekend outing. ‘So this would be a real house, then? Our house?’
Stevie nodded and couldn’t help her smile turning into a grin. Because she could see the way Mattie’s face lit up with that kind of glow she had been seeing more and more recently—especially when he’d been out for his weekly session with Josh and Lucky. She could feel a very similar glow herself quite often these days and that also had a lot to do with having a session of her own with Josh.
Once would never have been enough, would it?
Not when the physical chemistry she and Josh seemed to have together was enough to stop the earth turning for a significant length of time. When even thinking about the touch of his fingers, or his tongue or of her touching him could make something in Stevie’s gut ignite with a heat so intense it was painful.
‘So this is the living room. Look at that fireplace.’
Stevie had had to learn the new skill of finding something else to focus on very fast when that heat threatened to melt any rational thought and she’d become very good at it because she’d had no other option. She had to work with Josh, after all, and going weak at the knees was simply not acceptable.
And she had to keep their secret from everybody. From her colleagues, including Ruby who had a well-honed radar for any shenanigans going on in her patch between staff members but, so far, she didn’t seem to have picked up on any glances that lingered a little too long, that Stevie and Josh often shared a rooftop lunch, and that their rosters might have been juggled to give them the same days off more often than not.
It was a secret Stevie had to keep from her son, too, and, like most children, he had an uncanny ability to pick up on things that weren’t being said. He was staring at her now, with a somewhat bewildered expression on his face.
‘You really like this place, don’t you, Mum?’
‘I love it,’ she whispered. ‘But don’t tell anybody.’
‘Why not?’ Mattie whispered back.
Stevie tilted her head towards where the real estate agent was talking to the couple in the kitchen. ‘When people use an auction to sell a house, it’s kind of a competition,’ she explained. ‘And it’s better not to let the others know what you’re thinking.’
Especially when it involved X-rated memories, like the one that came from nowhere as Stevie took her gaze away from that inglenook fireplace, thinking that it needed a lot of work to look anything like the one in Josh’s house, which led to a flashback to that first time together that was so vivid Stevie had to bite her lip quite hard to distract herself this time. They hadn’t managed another night together since that weekend Mattie had been away but... Oh, my... Some of their afternoons when they both had a day off and Mattie was at school... Stevie could actually feel a blush warming her cheeks.
But Mattie clearly hadn’t noticed anything amiss. He was smiling at her, in fact.
‘What?’ Stevie smiled back. ‘What are you thinking?’
‘About Josh.’
Stevie blinked. ‘Oh?’
‘It was something he said. About when we didn’t have to live in that apartment any more. When we had a proper house?’ His smile stretched into a grin. ‘He said that Lucky could come and live with me.’ The smile faded too fast then. ‘But that was a long time ago. Do you think he might have changed his mind?’
&nb
sp; ‘I wouldn’t think so. Josh isn’t the kind of man who would change his mind about something important.’
Stevie certainly knew that much about Josh—that he was completely trustworthy. And honest. When they’d both realised that not ever repeating that one-off, amazing night was going to drive them both completely insane, they’d both made a promise that it was never going to affect Mattie. And that if this overwhelming attraction between them fizzled out, they would make sure it didn’t destroy their friendship or do any damage to Josh’s relationship with Mattie.
Okay...so maybe it was a bit more than friendship on Stevie’s part but she was confident she could handle this ‘friends with benefits’ thing. The trick was to focus on the present and not try and imagine a future that involved any dreaming about things that might never happen because that was the way to avoid getting your heart broken. If a friendship with Josh was all that was ever going to happen between them, she would make the most of everything it brought into her life.
She was applying the same strategy to what this cottage represented as the potential home she was in love with. She was focusing on only what was happening now and the need to succeed in the auction this week. It was possible she might never be able to afford the kind of renovations that would make it perfect but just living here would be enough and she would make the most of everything that it could bring into both her life and Mattie’s.
Mattie wasn’t looking convinced by her optimism about whether Josh would keep his promise, however.
‘Talk to Josh about it, next time you see him.’
‘But that’s not for days and days.’
‘He doesn’t live so far from here.’ Stevie spoke without really thinking. ‘Maybe we could go and say hello to Lucky on the way home.’
‘Is that allowed? When it’s not our usual day?’
‘It’s probably bending the rules a bit,’ Stevie admitted.
‘And how do you know where he lives?’
It was easy enough to shrug off the awkward question. ‘Josh and I work together, remember? We’re friends, too.’
It could be stepping over the boundaries they had clearly marked in the different ways their lives connected, though, so it might be a good idea to think it through a bit better. ‘I can text him,’ she told Mattie. ‘And make sure he’s home.’
The real estate agent and the other couple were coming back into the living room. ‘Why don’t you go upstairs and look at the bedrooms?’ Stevie suggested. ‘I need to ask a couple of questions about the auction.’ To register her interest, in fact, though she was going to wait until she could speak to the agent alone.
‘I don’t know, darling.’ The man was frowning. ‘It needs an awful lot of work. Like totally gutting the place. And getting rid of that fireplace.’
‘Ah...’ The agent’s smile was cautious. ‘This is a Grade Two listed property.’
‘What does that mean?’ The blonde woman was a lot younger than Stevie. Was she his daughter or his girlfriend?
‘It means it’s legally protected from being demolished, extended or significantly altered without special permission.’
‘It means a nightmare from what I’ve heard,’ her partner added. ‘You have to get permission for anything you want to do to the place like changing a tap and it can take months. Years, even.’
‘Oh...’ The woman pouted. ‘But this place is so cute.’
The man sighed. ‘All we want is a weekend bolthole from London,’ he told the agent. ‘But if Autumn’s got her heart set on this place, we’ll have to at least think about it. As long as the price is right, of course.’
If he could afford a car like the one parked in the lane, he could probably buy this cottage without even worrying about a mortgage. Stevie could feel her optimism taking a huge dive. Enough to create fear, even. Then she overheard the man as he left, telling the agent that they had more properties to view, hope soared back again and the roller coaster was starting to do Stevie’s head in.
She needed support, she decided, and she only had one really good friend available in her new life. One who, coincidentally, lived just down the road. What would happen if she just turned up on his doorstep, unannounced, with Mattie in tow? If nothing else, it would certainly let her know if she was right to trust him as much as she did.
And...she couldn’t help the bubble of something else surfacing. The hope that she might see that there was something else she could trust? That what she and Josh had found together might actually be enough to change his mind one day. That he might come to believe—like she did—that family was really the most important thing you could find in life?
* * *
For a moment, Josh was stunned by the unexpectedness of finding Stevie and Mattie on his doorstep. It felt like planets were colliding when they weren’t supposed to be even be in the same orbit.
But then Lucky launched himself at Mattie with a joyous bark and Mattie dropped to a crouch to cuddle the little dog, which left Josh and Stevie looking at each other and he could see that she was apprehensive.
‘We were just down the road,’ she told him. ‘At the last open house for that cottage. You know, the one I told you about at work?’
There was something more than apprehension in her eyes. A plea of some sort? Josh wasn’t sure what it was but he was absolutely sure that he would oblige if it was at all possible. Because he wanted to see Stevie smile. Because her happiness made him happy. And suddenly that made it feel perfectly okay that she was on his doorstep. That she—and Mattie—could be part of any aspect of his life. Quite apart from a sexual relationship of a kind he’d never had in his life before, he and Stevie were friends and they’d both sworn that nothing was going to change that. If this was some kind of test of that friendship, he knew he could pass it with flying colours.
‘Come in,’ he invited. ‘Tell me all about it. I’ll make us a cup of tea. Mattie, bring Lucky back inside. You can go and play with him in the back garden, if you want. There’s lots more space out there and you’ll find a few tennis balls hiding in the grass. Lucky’s very good at playing fetch and the vet says it’s good for his leg to get a bit more exercise now.’
But Mattie didn’t head straight for the meadow out the back. He followed the adults into the kitchen and Josh couldn’t miss the significant look that Stevie gave her son, clearly encouraging him to say something.
‘What’s up, buddy?’
The squeeze that happened in his chest when Mattie looked up to meet his gaze had become very familiar for Josh. The connection he’d felt with this boy right from that first meeting had grown into something very solid that only became stronger whenever they spent time together. He cared very much about Mattie and very much wanted to be a part of his life for many years to come.
‘You know what you said about Lucky that time? That if me and Mum got a proper house one day, Lucky could come and live with me?’
Josh nodded gravely. ‘I do. And I remember saying that it would be up to your mum to say yes.’
Mattie turned that desperate gaze onto his mother. ‘You will, won’t you, Mum?’
‘If we get the cottage, of course I will,’ Stevie promised. ‘But remember that it might not happen this time, Mattie. It could be that we’ll have to keep looking for another house.’
‘Like this one.’ Mattie’s smile was bright. ‘I really like your house, Josh. Come on, Lucky, let’s go outside.’
Josh reached for a teapot and some mugs. ‘When’s the auction?’
‘Wednesday. One o’clock.’
‘My afternoon off.’ He winked at Stevie. ‘I’ll come with you, shall I? And then we can celebrate afterwards.’
‘Oh, I hope so...’
The way Stevie’s eyes were shining as they held his gaze gave Josh an even bigger squeeze than his connection with Mattie ever created. It was the thought of getting the house of h
er dreams that was making her glow like that, of course, but maybe a part of it was the thought of just how they could celebrate afterwards when they had the rest of the afternoon to themselves. He made a mental note to put some champagne on ice.
It was all he could do not to reach for Stevie right now, in fact, and pull her into his arms. To lace his fingers through those delicious curls tumbling to her shoulders so that he could hold her head steady as he kissed her completely senseless.
And it was obvious that she knew exactly what he was thinking about. The way she caught the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth was a dead giveaway so it was probably just as well that Mattie chose that moment to come back into the kitchen.
‘I’m hungry,’ he announced.
‘I’ve got biscuits.’ Josh let his gaze hold Stevie’s for just another heartbeat before he turned away. ‘I might even be able to find a chocolate one.’
Mattie was silent for a moment. He looked at his mother and then at Josh.
‘Is Mum your girlfriend?’ he asked.
They both laughed. They both said ‘no’ at precisely the same time—as if the very idea was ridiculous.
‘But she’s your friend, isn’t she?’ Mattie persisted.
‘Absolutely,’ Josh agreed.
‘And we work together,’ Stevie added.
Mattie ignored his mother’s comment. He was still watching Josh. ‘And she’s a girl.’
Josh laughed again as he held out the biscuit tin towards Mattie. ‘Can’t argue with that.’
He didn’t dare catch Stevie’s gaze. He had to slam a mental door, as well, to stop a rush of pure sensation that was determined to remind him of exactly how feminine Stevie was and how much he loved every aspect of that gorgeous body of hers.
Mattie simply nodded, apparently satisfied. Then he took two biscuits and ran outside again with Lucky staying close.
A Pup to Rescue Their Hearts Page 8