The maître d’ came through the doors in time to hear the end of his sentence. ‘I’ve already taken care of that,’ he said. ‘They’ll be here any minute.’
CHAPTER TEN
LACHLAN WAS CONSCIOUS by the time medical assistance arrived but his level of consciousness was down far enough to make him seem drowsy and his speech was a little incoherent so he’d been helped into the back of the ambulance to be assessed. The results from the ECG monitor, blood pressure check and oxygen saturation clip were normal enough not to cause concern.
‘How much has he had to drink?’ one of the paramedics asked.
‘Not enough to do this,’ Josh told them. ‘I think there’s something more going on here.’
‘Gotta go home...’ Lachlan tried to sit up. ‘It’s my mother... She’s the one who’s sick...’
‘She’s all right.’ Flick was standing by the open back door of the ambulance. ‘I just rang Mrs Tillman to tell her that I would be going to the hospital with you so I might be later than expected.’
But Lachlan was shaking his head. ‘No need. I’m fine. And it’s my mother you’re employed to care for...not me... I don’t need it... Can look after myself...’
Flick clearly tried to hide her reaction to his words but Josh could see they’d been hurtful.
‘I’ll go with Lachlan,’ he told her. Don’t worry, he tried to add silently. He won’t be alone.
Flick nodded. ‘I could take Stevie home, then.’
‘No...that’s in totally the opposite direction.’ Josh turned to catch Stevie’s gaze. He wanted to ask her to come with him as he accompanied his brother to Cheltenham Central, which would be the nearest hospital. He wanted her by his side as he waited to find out what, if anything, was wrong. But who knew how long that might take? She had to get home for Mattie.
‘I’m going with Lachlan,’ he said, to Stevie this time. ‘I’ll follow the ambulance in my car, so is it okay if I get a taxi to take you home?’
Stevie nodded. ‘Of course.’ She held his gaze. ‘Call me later—when you know what’s going on?’
‘It might be late.’
This time she shook her head. ‘I’ll still be up,’ she told him. ‘It doesn’t matter how late it is.’
She was going to wait up for him to call.
Josh was smiling, even after the taxi had left and he was in his own vehicle ready to follow the ambulance.
It didn’t matter that Stevie wasn’t coming with him to share the wait and any news—good or bad. She was going to be waiting up for him and that was enough.
Oddly, it felt like she would be holding his hand, anyway.
* * *
Josh arrived at Cheltenham Central to find Lachlan in an observation area attached to the emergency department.
‘They want to keep me in overnight.’ Lachlan looked almost as pale as the pillows he was lying back against. ‘I’d make a fuss and discharge myself but I’m... I’m just so damned tired, I don’t want to move.’
‘What do they think caused the syncope?’
‘They’re waiting for the blood results to come back. Consultant here thinks it could just be some kind of virus. I’m running a bit of a temperature and it fits with my not feeling so good in the last week or two.’
‘What sort of “not so good”?’ Josh could feel his frown deepen as he perched his hip on the end of Lachlan’s bed. ‘I did think you’ve been looking really tired. And you’ve lost some weight, too, haven’t you?’
‘A bit...’ Lachlan closed his eyes. ‘I’ve had some abdominal pain on and off so I haven’t been eating much.’ He managed a smile. ‘And, hey...thanks for being here. Who knows, if I find I need a new kidney or something it could be really useful having a twin.’
Josh grinned back but the smile faded as he held his brother’s gaze. He could actually feel the connection between them moving up a notch at this moment. Several notches. Had he really believed that he never needed or wanted family? This was his brother. His identical brother. It could be him lying in that bed and, if it was, he’d want family beside him.
It was Lachlan who broke the silence that had fallen.
‘I was blaming how I felt on the stress of all the insanity of the last few weeks. I felt like someone had taken my life and turned it inside out. And upside down. And stomped on it. I was blindsided by finding out I’d been adopted. That the woman I thought was my mother had never wanted me in the first place. But finding out I’ve got a brother...well...that’s a good thing.’
Josh nodded. He needed to swallow hard.
‘And Flick...she’s a good thing, too. You freaked me out back there by suggesting that it could be something permanent, mind you.’
‘I get that.’ Josh sighed. ‘I think I freaked myself out a bit as well. I’d actually started thinking—’
He didn’t get a chance to confess that he was starting to change his own mind about that aversion to permanence, thanks to how he felt about Stevie, because the curtain around Lachlan’s bed opened.
‘Hope I’m not interrupting anything. I’m Graham—a consultant here.’ The newcomer held his hand out to Josh. ‘Wow... I’ve heard about you two but you really are identical, aren’t you?’
‘I’m the better-looking twin,’ Lachlan said. ‘You’ve probably heard that, as well.’
Josh could see that, behind the attempt at humour, Lachlan had become very still. He was looking at the paper the consultant was holding in his hands and Graham’s smile had vanished by the time he spoke again.
‘You’ve got something going on, Lachlan,’ he said. ‘Your blood count’s all over the place. White blood count’s way up and red cells and platelets are low enough to be concerning.’
Josh actually felt a chill ripple down his spine. He’d seen blood results like that come in on children all too often. He might have referred those patients to the oncology team instantly but he was often there as the parents were given the devastating news that their child had leukaemia.
Lachlan had joined the dots as quickly as Josh had. He could see the shock in his eyes, even though he was doing his best to hide it.
‘Not just a virus, then?’
Graham could see that both the doctors in front of him knew exactly how serious this could prove to be. ‘We’ve already lined up some more tests for first thing tomorrow.’
‘Do they include a bone-marrow biopsy?’ Lachlan asked quietly.
Graham nodded. ‘I’ve already been in touch with the team you’ll be admitted under. The HOD of Haematology is a great guy. He’s offered to come in and have a chat with you tonight, if you’d like.’
But Lachlan shook his head. ‘I’m really tired,’ he said. ‘I think I’d rather get some sleep.’
Josh was still sitting on the end of the bed when the emergency department consultant left. The shock was still there but he knew how to keep it from showing in his voice.
‘Can I get you anything?’
‘No, thanks.’ Lachlan didn’t open his eyes as he spoke. ‘You should get home. That dog of yours probably needs to get outside.’
‘I can stay for a while.’ Josh didn’t want to leave his brother alone. His own mind was racing fast enough as it gathered the implications of what they’d been told. ‘If you want to talk.’
But Lachlan turned away. ‘Go home, Josh,’ he muttered. ‘I just need to sleep.’
‘I’ll be back tomorrow, then.’ Josh hesitated as he turned towards the door, however. He was pretty sure Lachlan was not about to go to sleep but his brother clearly wanted to be alone.
Because, like Josh, he’d spent his life having to deal with the tough stuff alone?
‘Just call if you want to,’ he added softly, his fingers curling around the phone in his pocket. ‘Anytime.’
He had the phone in his hand by the time he got back to where he’d parked his
car. It was almost a shock to realise that it was only a matter of a few hours since he’d had Stevie sitting in the passenger seat and they’d been on their way to a fabulous restaurant. Before his life had been derailed—again.
He wished she was sitting there right now. He wanted to tell her how afraid he was that Lachlan was seriously ill. And he could do that. She was, after all, waiting up for him to call but, if he started, where would he stop? Would he just let it all come rushing out? Tell her that he was scared that maybe he’d discovered he had a brother only to have to face losing him?
That he would tell her how much he’d wanted to have Stevie holding his hand for company and support tonight. That he wanted her to tell him that it was all going to be okay. That he wanted to feel her arms around him. To hear her say that, even if it wasn’t all going to be okay, she’d be right there beside him.
That he would never need to be alone again.
But...what if she didn’t say that? If she didn’t feel that way? It wasn’t as if they had a definitive diagnosis for Lachlan yet, either. That would come tomorrow, probably after a raft of more focused investigations, and he would be seeing Stevie at work so there would be plenty of time to talk. Maybe the weather would be nice enough to have lunch on the roof? It was a shame they’d missed everything other than the starter at that posh restaurant.
Josh didn’t put his phone away, though, even after he was sitting inside his car. He found Stevie’s number and sent her a text.
No real news yet. Talk to you tomorrow when we get more test results. Maybe we could meet for lunch?
Her response was so quick she must have had her phone in her hand already.
Sure. See you tomorrow. Sleep well.
It was time Josh put his phone down and headed for home but he wasn’t quite ready to move. He opened a browser and found a site that he relied on for accurate and up-to-date medical articles.
Adult onset leukaemia, he typed into the search bar. Diagnosis, treatment and prognosis.
* * *
Gloucester General’s rooftop vegetable garden seemed to have become the background setting that marked milestones in Stevie Hawksbury’s new life. It had been where the aftermath of that awkward first meeting with her boss had been smoothed over enough to be forgotten. Where they’d shared secrets and cemented the first foundation stones of their friendship in place.
It was where so many private conversations had taken place in snatched minutes of shared lunches. It had been one of those conversations that had persuaded her that Mattie was old enough to travel alone to visit his grandma and she was still seeing the benefits of the independence and confidence that weekend had given him. Or maybe it was her son’s relationship with his Big Brother mentor that was making it seem like Mattie was growing more mature and grounded day by day.
It had been the weekend of that independent trip that had been one of the biggest milestones of all—when she and Josh had made love for the first time. Another ripple from the stone that had been cast on the day that Josh had brought her up here to these gardens. She loved coming here. Except that, today, Stevie was barely aware of where they were. All she could think about was how pale and drawn Josh was looking when he arrived. All she wanted was to put her arms around him and hold him as tightly as she could.
All she did, however, was to pass him the plastic triangle that contained the sandwiches she’d bought at the cafeteria, although she let her hand brush his and their eye contact to linger for a heartbeat. She knew there was a group of junior doctors sitting not that far away, having also chosen to take their lunch break where they could find a bit of sunshine and, even though Josh had been happy to take her out to a famous local restaurant last night and it had felt almost like a date to start with, at least, Stevie was quite sure he wouldn’t want rumours about them to start circulating around the hospital. Especially not today, when he looked tired enough for it to be too much effort to even open that plastic triangle.
‘Did you stay with Lachlan all night?’ she asked.
‘No. He told me to go home. Said he needed to sleep but I think he just wanted to be alone. I was there this morning, though. I was with him when he got the results of his bone-marrow biopsy.’
Stevie had opened her own sandwich container but any appetite for lunch evaporated instantly on hearing those words. She felt fear, she realised. For Lachlan. But even more for Josh because she could see her fear reflected in his eyes and she could feel the painful cracking in her own heart. She didn’t need to ask the question.
‘It’s AML,’ he said quietly. ‘Acute myeloid leukaemia.’
‘Oh... God...’ Stevie totally forgot about anyone who could see them. She put her hand over Josh’s and held on.
‘We both had our suspicions last night,’ Josh continued. ‘After the results of the blood count came through and we added up all the other symptoms, like extreme fatigue recently and odd bruising and a fever and so on. The ED consultant even said that the haematology consultant was prepared to come in and talk to Lachlan right there and then but the diagnosis wasn’t official until the results of this morning’s biopsy came through.’ Josh closed his eyes as he rubbed his forehead. ‘There should be less than five percent of blasts in bone marrow—they’re the immature white blood cells. Lachlan’s got more than twenty percent.’
Stevie swallowed hard. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she whispered. ‘How’s Lachlan coping?’
Josh seemed to squeeze his eyes even more tightly shut. As if he was staving off tears?
‘The first thing he said was that I’d better get myself tested. That if there was a genetic component to being at risk then I might be next.’
The wash of fear that Stevie had felt only minutes ago came back so fiercely that she instinctively broke the skin contact between her hand and Josh’s in case he could feel it too. But the words came out before she could stop them and it felt all too obvious that she was afraid.
‘That’s not true,’ she breathed. And then she caught the corner of her lip between her teeth. ‘Is it?’
Josh opened his eyes and turned towards Stevie. He wasn’t smiling, but the crinkles at the corners of his eyes deepened, as if he appreciated that she was so concerned about him.
‘Funnily enough, when I was sitting up all night, reading up on every type of leukaemia I could think of, I came across a fairly recent article about identical twins getting diagnosed with AML within days of each other. Concordant AML, it’s called...’
‘And...?’ Stevie couldn’t bear the pause.
‘They were just kids.’ But Josh found a lopsided smile. ‘But they had a sibling who was an HLA match and they got a stem cell transplant, which has apparently cured them. They didn’t even get any GVHD.’
‘GVHD?’
‘Graft versus host disease. It’s a common complication with any kind of transplant that can be serious. It often goes away after a year or so but the better HLA match you can get, the less risk there is of getting it in the first place. HLA is human leukocyte antigens.’ He let his breath out in a long sigh. ‘I think I reviewed my entire haematology course between about four and six this morning.’
The cracks in Stevie’s heart deepened. She wished she’d been there for Josh. To bring him something to eat or just coffee. To talk things through. Just...to be there...
‘I will get myself tested,’ Josh added. ‘Not to see if I’ve got anything abnormal going on in my blood. To see if I’m going to be the perfect match to donate my bone marrow for the transplant.’ That crooked smile was back. ‘And, if anybody should be the perfect match, it’s got to be an identical twin.’
‘That must have helped.’ Stevie said. ‘To tell Lachlan that.’
‘I haven’t told him yet.’
‘How come?’
‘It got mentioned, of course, but it’s down the track and there’s some rough stuff to get through before a stem cell
transplant is going to be on the agenda. The focus right now is on getting more information about the subtype and staging and planning the chemotherapy regime that needs to start as soon as possible. Hopefully tomorrow. And...’ The expression on Josh’s face was a silent groan.
Stevie hadn’t thought her heart could sink much further but she’d been wrong. ‘And what?’
‘There was other stuff happening. Between Lachlan and Flick. She was there this morning, as well. You should have seen her face, Stevie.’ Josh had to stop talking. He took a deep breath and then cleared his throat. ‘She looked like the world was ending. Said she was so sorry but she couldn’t do this again. And then she walked out of the room.’
‘Again?’
‘Lachlan told me later that her husband had died—a long time ago now—from pancreatic cancer. Six weeks from diagnosis to death and she never left his side. It broke her, he said. She’s been running ever since.’
‘But I saw the way she looked at him,’ Stevie said softly. ‘And we were talking while you were outside with Lachlan at the restaurant. I know she’s in love with him.’
As much as she was in love with Josh...
‘Well...she can’t face this.’
Stevie was quite sure of what she knew about how Flick felt. How powerful did the shadow of her past have to be to make her walk out at a time like that? How devastating that must have been for Lachlan. And for Josh to be there and witness what could have been a sudden end to his brother’s relationship.
‘How did Lachlan take it?’
Josh was rubbing his forehead again with his middle finger, as if the touch might reduce the discomfort of his thoughts.
‘He kind of shrugged it off. Said he didn’t blame her, after what she’d been through. But you could see that it hurt. I told him I’d be sticking around but...you know what?’
Stevie didn’t say anything. She just held his gaze.
‘I hate myself for saying it but I get why she’s running.’
A Pup to Rescue Their Hearts Page 13