Vaughn blinks at me. His eyes are dilated again. Which means the beast is telling him something. “You’re...amazing.”
“I’m really not.” But he’ll hate me soon enough. No need to rush that inevitability by telling him I can’t stay and be his mate. “So, no pregnancy resulted?”
“No. Not from any of Brennan’s forced pairings.”
“Were you not genetically compatible? And fertile?”
“I suspect we were both, or Brennan wouldn’t have locked us in together. But Dreyer and I swore to each other that even if we had to give in to the urges, we didn’t have to do it in any way that could result in pregnancy. Or that was likely to, anyway.” His focus seems to shift to something I can’t see. “The other guys and I have never discussed it. We have a sort of ‘what happens in the breeding room stays in the breeding room’ kind of unspoken agreement. But I assume they all made a similar pact with Dreyer.”
Yet I’m still stuck on what he said before that.
I drop my spork into the half-full packet, my food forgotten. “There are ways to engage in sex that can’t result in pregnancy, with a fertile woman?”
Vaughn’s expression sends heat dripping down my spine to pool low in my belly. “I have so much to show you.” He lifts my food packet from my hand and props it against the wall, so it won’t spill. Then he leans in and slides one hand into the hair at the back of my neck—careful not to touch the wound higher up on my scalp—and kisses me.
I should stop this. Sleeping with him again would be leading him on, knowing that I can’t stay and be his mate. But he tastes good. And he feels good. And he smells so good.
His tongue slides into my mouth, and I moan as I welcome him in. Completely unintentionally. That strange oscillating sound echoes from his throat, and moisture gathers between my thighs.
Vaughn groans and pulls away to whisper against my lips. “I can smell you getting wet for me.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” That sound echoes louder as he kisses his way along my jaw, headed for my neck. “You smell delicious. I want more of that.”
His hands wander over my new vest, and I feel him tugging at the buttons. “Wait,” I say, but he’s already ripping the vest open. “Oh no!” I sit up, pushing him back, and glance around on the floor for the buttons he’s surely popped off of my new clothing. But there are none. I laugh. “Sorry. I forgot it’s magnetic.”
“Well, that’s anticlimactic,” he murmurs as he slides the vest off of my shoulders. “I really wanted to rip your clothes off. But I guess there will be other opportunities.”
Only there won’t be. I’m going to have to give him up at the next stop the Dinghy makes. Which means this might be our last chance to indulge in each other.
“Vaughn,” I breathe, as he lays me back on the blanket and pulls open the magnetic clasps on my new blouse.
“Yes.”
“I want something.”
The oscillating sound echoes even louder from his throat, as his hand skims down my stomach, his fingers venturing beneath the waist of my new pants. Where they pause, to my utter frustration. “Name it.”
“I want you to show me one of those things you mentioned. One of the things I’ve never done.”
His hand slides farther down, and his finger circles my clit once. Then he slips two fingers inside me and I groan. “God, you’re wet.” He pumps into me, the heel of his hand rubbing against my clit with every stroke, and my head falls back as I give in to the sensation. To the spiral of pleasure already building. “We’ll have plenty of time for those other things, once you’re swelling with my child,” he whispers. “But right now, I need to feel you clenching around my cock. I need to release deep inside you.”
Blood drains from my face, leaving me cold. “Vaughn.” I try to sit up, but he growls softly and pushes me back with one hand on my chest.
“I can feel how close you are, already, my lustful little mate. Let me make you scream, so I can join you in your next orgasm.”
“Wait,” I insist, and he pulls his hand from my pants. But instead of sitting up to see what’s wrong, he only glances at me briefly, giving me a glimpse of flashing, fully dilated golden eyes, before he begins tugging my pants over my hips. “No! Vaughn stop!” I try to crawl out from under him, and he growls softly while he pulls me back, until I’m looking right up into those extraordinary eyes.
“What’s wrong?” He looks worried as he scans my face for the source of my objection, but he’s still making that sound in his throat. I’m still dripping wet beneath him, and aching to be filled like I’ve never ached for anything in my life.
“We talked about this. I can’t give you children.” But maybe this is what we need: a problem he’ll understand. A legitimate reason to accept the fact that I can’t be his mate.
“Yes, you can. I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet, but Sotelo said that something in his bodily fluids went to work in Lilli’s body and made her fertile again, years after she was sterilized by the prison. It’s the alien genes. They evidently work miracles, to make sure they’ll be passed on.”
I stare up at him, stunned, and when he rises onto his knees again and starts pulling at my pants, I realize he’s mistaken my shocked silence for…happiness? Acceptance of this reproductive miracle?
“Wait!” I shove him off again, hard this time, and when I scramble to my feet, he’s right there, growling softly. Invading my space. Walking me slowly backward until I’m pressed against the cold wall of the cargo hold. “Vaughn,” I say, but my objection sounds more like a groan of pleasure, because he’s licking my neck again, taking sweet little nibbles between strokes of his tongue, as his hands slowly work their way beneath my waistband to cup my backside.
“Stop!” I shove him, and he stumbles back, but this time there’s more gold showing in his irises. Less pupil. He’s wrestling back control from the beast, though that seems to take an extraordinary amount of effort. “You said you’d never make me do anything I didn’t want to do.”
“And I never will.” Every second brings more gold into his eyes. He sniffs the air, and I think he’s trying to scent…my mood? “But Grace, you want me. I can smell how badly you want me.” He sniffs again, moving a step closer. “Yet I also smell your distress. What’s wrong? You want me to show you something new? I’m sure we can compromise. As long as in the end, I get to release deep inside you.” The gold in his eyes narrows with that thought, and I groan when he resumes that soft rumbling from his throat, and the ache low inside me swells.
“Stop. You have to stop that sound.”
“No. I need to touch you. And you need to be touched. Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it. I’ll keep you in orgasmic ecstasy all night long, if that’s what you need.”
“No, Vaughn, it isn’t that simple.” Not that that sounds simple at all. And my insides clench at just the thought of the number of orgasms that could fit into an entire night. “I can’t—” I suck in a deep breath. It’s time to tell him the truth. I owe him that. “I can’t have your children.”
“Yes, you can. Sotelo said—”
“No, I don’t mean I’m not capable. I mean that I…well, I shouldn’t. I can’t stay here. I can’t— Vaughn, I’m so sorry, but I can’t be your mate.”
13
VAUGHN
I FROWN AT GRACE, trying to understand. “That doesn’t make any sense. You already are my mate.”
She took your seed, the beast insists, pacing angrily inside me. She is yours.
“No, I’m not. I can’t be. I’m so sorry, but I know you’ll find someone else. Any woman would be beyond lucky to have you.”
“You don’t want that.” I ignore the pain slicing into my heart while I study her face. Then I lean in to sniff her scent again. “I can smell the truth, Grace. Pushing me away hurts you. The thought of my hands on someone else sends a distressed scent straight from your pores. If you want me, why would you push me away?”
“Because what I w
ant doesn’t matter.” Her voice sounds as agonized as her scent tells me she is. “The truth is that I used you. And I’m so sorry. But I had no other choice. The only way to make sure Meshach couldn’t give me to his son was to give myself to a man, and I didn’t want a stranger. I wanted you. That was selfish of me, and I’m so sorry. But…I wanted you.” The admission seems to render her helpless.
“I wanted you too.” And the truth was that she had no choice, at least about that part of it. If she’d picked another man, the beast would have killed him. “I still want you.” I reach for her, but she slides to the left against the wall. Out of reach. “I need you, Grace.”
“I know. Which only makes what I did worse. But if I stay with you, I’m going to get your entire crew killed. Including Lilli and her baby. And I can’t do that. I can’t keep you guys in that kind of danger.”
“You won’t be. Meshach doesn’t know you’re with us.”
“But he’ll figure it out. If any of his men saw the Dinghy re-dock on Miscellany, they’ll have seen us come on board. And even if no one saw, eventually he’s going to figure out that the woman you gave my sheath to was a decoy. He’ll assume I snuck on board the Dinghy when ‘you’—who was really Captain Sotelo—did.”
“He’s no threat to us,” I insist.
“Not one on one. I’ve seen you fight. But you won’t get a chance to fight him if he blows up this entire ship.”
“We’ll figure something out.” I reach for her again, and this time she darts to the right and takes off for the hatch in the ceiling.
Adrenaline surges through my blood stream, and I lunge after her, while the beast howls with excitement inside me. He’s thrilled that she’s running from me, because that gives me a chance to catch her. To impress her with my speed and strength.
That isn’t how seduction works in human circles, but I can’t let her go. I can’t lose her. So I lurch forward and grab her around the waist, then I swing her away from the stairs. “Grace,” I whisper into her ear. “Do not run from me.”
I clutch her to my chest, her feet dangling a foot off the floor, and she starts kicking, slamming her soft-soled heels into my shins. The pain is negligible, but my cock gets harder with every blow. The beast loves her struggle. Her fight.
She will be a fierce, protective mother to your children, he insists.
“Let me go!”
“No,” I growl softly, burying my nose in her hair. Breathing in her delicious scent. “I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you. But I can’t let you go, either. You are mine.”
“I’m not anyone’s!” But then she groans as I let the mating call swell from my throat again, and I can scent the resurrection of her arousal.
“Why are you lying to me? I can smell how badly you want to be mine. How desperate you are to spread your legs for me. How your body hungers for what I can give it. For the pleasure I can draw from you. For the babies I will put inside of you.”
“Stop,” she moans, trying to fight her way free. So I turn and press her against the wall, her cheek flat against the cold surface. I put one hand on her back, holding her in place, while I run the other down her flesh, shoving at first one side of her pants, then the other. Freeing her firm backside so I can squeeze it.
Fuck, she’s beautiful.
“Vaughn, please,” she begs, and I can’t tell whether she’s asking me to stop or to keep going. So I shove her pants down her thighs and watch them pool around her feet on the floor.
“Tell me what you want, Grace. What you really want. Tell me where you want my hands. My tongue.”
“Everywhere,” she admits. “I want you everywhere. But what I want doesn’t matter. I can’t stay here, and I can’t get pregnant, because I have to go. At the next stop. I have to get far away from this ship, so that if Meshach finds me, he won’t find me here.”
“You will not leave with my baby,” the beast growls.
“No, I won’t. Because we’re not having a baby. You’re not listening to me.”
“I’ve heard every word you’ve said, but few of them have made sense. You are my mate. You agreed to that. You accepted me. You took my seed. You could already be pregnant.”
“No.” And suddenly her scent changes. Fear overwhelms her arousal, and the sour smell of it in her sweat hurts me.
Comfort her, the beast demands.
“Grace?” I step back and let her go. “What’s wrong?”
She turns, and tears shine in her eyes as she stares up at me. “We’ve only had sex once. There’s no way I’m pregnant. I mean, even for fertile women, that’s a long shot, from what I understand, and that genetic witchcraft from your…fluids? It wouldn’t have had time to work yet. Right? It’s only been a few hours.”
“It’s been half a day, at least, since I licked the blood from your pinched finger. That involved my fluids and your body.”
“Okay, well, if that was enough to fix whatever’s wrong with me, would I know it? Wouldn’t I feel…different?”
I frown down at her. “I don’t know. Maybe we should ask Lilli. She’s already been through this. Sotelo said after they had sex, she fell into a coma, and when she woke up, she was…fertile. Days later, if I recall correctly, she was pregnant.”
“A coma?” Air wheezes in and out of Grace’s lungs, and the scent of distress emanating from her swells drastically. “I can’t be in a coma. What if I’m unconscious when Meshach finds me? I won’t be able to defend myself.”
I shrug. “That won’t matter, if he’s just going to blow us out of the sky.”
Her eyes widen. “Aren’t you supposed to make me feel better? That didn’t make me feel better.”
“He isn’t going to find you. And if he does, he won’t shoot us out of the sky until he knows you’re no longer an option for his son, right?” I ask, smoothing her hair back with one hand. She nods, and I don’t know whether it’s my words or the physical contact she finds soothing. “So we won’t tell him, until and unless we see him in person. And if I see him in person, I will kill him.” I tug her toward me and run my hand down her bare back. “Does that make you feel better?”
“A little,” she admits. “But I don’t know why.”
“Because I am your mate. Being near me will always make you feel better. And the inverse is also true, because this doesn’t just mean that you are mine, though that is definitely true. This also means that I am yours. Forever.”
“Vaughn, I can’t just—”
I lean in and kiss her, to shut her up, and after a stiff-lipped moment of protest, she moans and opens her mouth for me.
She will always open for you, the beast purrs, as I tease her tongue with mine.
“Your worry and your protests are pointless,” I tell her when I finally gain the willpower to pull away from her mouth. “You can’t run from our connection. You can’t sever it. And if you try to resist it, you’ll drive both of us crazy. You accepted me, and there’s no going back from that. The only way through this is forward. Together. That’s how we will face every challenge from now on. Every threat. Including Meshach.”
“But what if—”
“Shhh… His could be the first blood we shed together. The beast believes I should bathe you in it. Or at least smear it all over you, to glory in our conquest. But I think that part’s optional, if it doesn’t appeal to you.”
“It does not,” she confirms.
I cock my head to the side. “I wish I could say the same. Two years ago, I would have been able to. But now, rubbing the blood of our enemy all over your naked body is the most erotic thing I can imagine. Other than seeing you swell with my child.” I let the mating sound echo from my throat again as I slide my hand between her legs, and to my utter joy, she adjusts her stance to make room for me there. She groans as I rub the sensitive focal point of her pleasure, then slide two fingers inside her. “Stop fighting what you want and let me bring you pleasure, mate.”
“I want to. But Vaughn, I don’t want to be in a
coma.” The swell of fear in her scent again tells me how terrified the thought makes her. “I don’t want to be…defenseless.”
“You won’t be. I will be here with you, the entire time. Standing watch over your beautiful, sleeping body, while it prepares to become a home for our unborn child.”
“But—”
“And we don’t even know for sure that that will happen. We don’t know the source of your infertility. It’s entirely possible that repairing your reproductive system won’t syphon as much energy from the rest of your body as the same process did for Lilli.”
“So, there might not be a coma?”
“I honestly have no idea,” I admit. “You’re only the second human woman ever to mate with a man like me, so I think the things we don’t understand yet still far outnumber the things we do. Anything is possible.”
“Maybe it won’t work on me,” she says. “Maybe I can’t be fixed.”
“First of all, even if your reproductive system can’t be repaired, you are not broken,” I tell her, running the back of my knuckle down her cheek. “And it is possible that my fluids will have no effect on you,” I admit, because the thought appears to bring her some odd kind of comfort. But I have my doubts. Sotelo seemed confident that my beast wouldn’t have chosen her if he couldn’t sense somehow—something in her scent?—that she was capable of giving us both children. “But either way, there’s no point fighting this. Your body wants me, and eventually it will get what it wants.”
“How do you know?”
“I watched Sotelo and Lilli go through this. They tortured themselves, trying to resist.” Though really, that was all Lilli. “But now you’ve seen how devoted they are to each other.”
Vendetta (Project Vetus Book 2) Page 17