Going Under

by LeTeisha Newton

  “Fuck me, please,” she whispered.

  “Melody?”

  “Fuck me. Now. Hard.”

  She undulated on the concrete, her mouth wide and slack. I ripped the blindfold off and met her glazed, dilated eyes.

  “Fuck.”

  He’d given her something.

  “What did you take, baby? What did he give you?”

  She smiled nice and sweet. “He sent me to heaven.”

  No, he’d sent her to hell, but I was going to bring her back.

  13

  Melody

  “What the hell?”

  The voice woke me up, my head protesting my awareness.

  “I’ve got to have her some place safe, Lana.”

  Jack. His voice wrapped around me and pressed through my pain. A cold chill slithered down my back as I clenched my teeth. I turned my bleary eyes to Lana. In her jean shorts, black halter, and her hair pulled back into a ponytail, she looked younger, lighter. But I couldn’t say anything. My stomach protested, clenched, and then heaved.

  “Get her to the bathroom. She’s going to hurl!” Lana hollered.

  I jostled in Jack’s arms as he raced through Lana’s house and into the back to the bathroom. I only had a fleeting second to notice he hadn’t asked her for directions before he pushed my head over the porcelain bowl and I lost my battle to keep down the acid in my throat. The places where my bones connected ached, and I didn’t want to move. If Jack hadn’t been holding me I’d have face planted into my own vomit. I knew what was wrong, and it would last for days on end. Each time I got high, I had to come down, and my body craved the drug. Once an addict, always an addict, and my captor had given a feast to a starving woman.

  “Jack, get cleaned up. I’ll stay with her.”

  Lana’s voice was soft, worried even, as I leaned my face on the toilet seat and sucked in deep breaths.

  “I need to stay with her until she kicks this,” Jack told her.

  “What do you want with a druggie anyway? She can’t shake the habit,” Lana returned.

  “She didn’t choose to shoot up this time,” Jack growled.

  I swallowed and released a shaky sigh. What happened? Always the same shit, the blank time when I shot up. I couldn’t answer Lana’s question. But Jack’s response sent rage and disgust coursing through my body. I’d been taken, I remembered that, by someone from the club, the man Jack had been searching for. He was the one to push the needle in my arm. But after that? My brain went fuzzy and only snatches of feeling and darkness filled my head.

  “Fuck. Who’d touch yours?” Lana asked.

  “Just stay with her until I can get this shit off me, okay?”

  Lana must have nodded because Jack left the room and cool, narrow hands pushed my hair away from my face.

  “Who did this to you?”

  Her question was soft, too soft, and it carved a dam through me. I didn’t know. My throat ached and hot tears leaked out of my eyes. How could I explain the hell I felt inside? For three years I’d stayed away from the drug that had ruined my life; I’d found some semblance of control. I chose how I had sex, the way my body was used, and I got power in that. I had the final say in my life. From my dead-end job, to the nights with bar goers, it didn’t matter. And Jack? He and I found release from the world that shit on us. Those moments, those feelings of freedom, were priceless to me, and they had been stripped away. I spewed it up from the dregs of my gut, dirty and covered in shit. I sweat it out and racked with tremors because of the loss of it.

  Who did this to me?

  Only Jack knew the answer to that and what happened in between.

  “Come on, honey. It’ll feel better when it’s out.”

  Lana rubbed my back and held my hair for me as I cleared my system of the toxins. And when I finished, she placed a cool washcloth on my face and cleaned me off.

  “Do you have another bathroom somewhere?” I asked.

  “What?”

  “Where Jack is cleaning up?”

  She paused. “In my bedroom.”

  I nodded, too tired and aching to dissect anything. Why he chose her to come to. Why she opened the door and let us in. Or even why she rubbed me now, like a mother did for a sick child. Too many emotions and not enough answers to put them in order.

  Sleep seemed the better option.

  Jack

  I burned my clothes in Lana’s garage and washed my cut in her bathroom sink. Once that was done, I took a shower to get rid of the blood left on my skin and padded into her bedroom. A twinge made me grimace when I pulled a pair of jeans and a shirt out of her drawer. Of the Honeys that belonged to the club, I’d frequented Lana the most, like any other biker, but she’d welcome me into her home, into her personal space where she was more than a Honey. I knew what it meant, but I’d never taken her up on the silent offer. Until Melody, I’d never wanted to give myself to anyone. Too much pain and too many secrets in my past. I never trusted anyone to see past what they knew of me.

  Now, I forced Lana to help hide Melody and me until I figured out how to get rid of Fix and the evidence. It wasn’t fair, and that knowledge led me to clear out the clothes I’d left in her drawer. I collected everything I’d left, every remnant that marked Lana as property, and put them in a trash bag. Melody was all that mattered, and I’d find a way to make all this shit right. I tossed the trash bag in the living room and padded back to the guest bathroom where Lana and Melody were.

  “She fell asleep, but I couldn’t move her,” Lana explained as I stopped in the doorway.

  Lana held Melody’s head secure and kept her from falling.

  “I’ve got her. The spare room okay?”

  It seemed late to ask now, but I was grateful when Lana nodded. I picked up Melody’s slender form and carried her to the spare room. Decorated in pale yellow and white, the room was soft and sweet, with a lingering smell of something floral. It didn’t fit the slender body covered in sweat, with her hair sticking to her face and her dress covered in dirt and grime, lying in the center of the bed.

  “Want to tell me what happened now?” Lana asked.

  I sighed. I had to. “Fix took her to get at me.”

  “Fix wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

  “He did. Our friendship was built on his need to replace me. It was never real. He planned on killing Melody and me out there in his garage, but we made it out alive.”

  I didn’t add that Fix didn’t, but Lana saw it in my eyes. She knew who I was.

  She nodded. “Then go do what you have to. She’ll be safe here. Show your face in the club, or it will be too obvious.”

  “I know how to do my job.” I shot her a lopsided smile; it didn’t reach my eyes, but it softened to blow of my words.

  “I know.”

  “Lana, look—”

  She shook her head, cutting me off. “I get it, Jack. We had fun, and you trusted me enough to bring this to my doorstep. Some shit just isn’t meant to be.”

  “I’m sorry anyway.”

  “Don’t say you’re sorry,” she whispered. “It’ll mean you’re sorry about me.”

  She hovered at the side of the bed, her fists clenched and a muscle working in her jaw. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears, but she stood tall and looked me in the eye. I padded toward her and pulled her into my arms.

  “I’m not sorry about you, Lana. She just …” I let the words trail off, not sure how to explain it. I didn’t know the words to put to it myself.

  Lana wept softly into my chest, her tears soaking my shirt.

  “I know,” was all she said.

  14

  Jack

  Melody tied me up into knots. I could smell her everywhere, taste her on my tongue, and feel her on my cock even while I worked. I spent half the day thinking about her, and the other half searching her out.

  She’d been in my bed, in my world, for over two months. She’d gone through withdrawals for two weeks, thrashing and cursing in Lana’s spare bed, but
we pulled her through it. We healed together, and no one was the wiser of what happened to Fix. Rex didn’t ask any questions, and I didn’t offer. But things felt … off. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but every time I attempted to secure her “Property of” patch, Samuel waylaid me into something else. As my Old Lady, even without the ceremony, she deserved her own cut and the visible stamp of belonging to me. Every Old Lady at the club had one, and Melody without it rubbed me wrong.

  The girls were beginning to talk, and I didn’t like it.

  “Samuel, when will Melody’s patch come in?” I asked.

  Melody helped the girls on the floor as we waited for Samuel to call an unofficial meeting to include the Ladies. I didn’t want to ask then, in front of everyone, and prove there was a problem.

  Samuel looked over at me and shrugged. “No big rush for it. The OS club just rode out a week ago, and we’ve got a deal in the pipeline. After those things would be soon enough, wouldn’t it?”

  Reasonable, sure, but I knew he wasn’t telling me the truth. We always had something going on. On any given day we could have deals, transactions in motion, and clubs coming in and out. We had a few groups we were working on patching over into Diamond Eater to grow our base numbers. If I waited for all of that to finish, it could be a year before Melody was officially patched. Unacceptable.

  “We will have things going on for quite some time—”

  “Let’s get the meeting started, fellas. You can bring your Honey with you, Jack,” he interrupted me. “Jasmin, let’s go.”

  He walked away from me toward the meeting room, leaving me gritting my teeth where I stood. I wondered how much blood I could get on the walls if I bashed his head in. I should have thought about killing that fucker years ago. Respect be damned, he was pushing me too far. How much disrespect and hatred would be enough? Now they included Melody in the games, and it infuriated me. She didn’t deserve to be stained with my history.

  “Come on, Firecracker.”

  She nodded and passed the beers in her hands to one of the Honeys and came to my side. As I tucked her against me, I swallowed my anger. Her presence soothed me, her small hand against my chest steadying me. No, she didn’t deserve any of this, but I wouldn’t let her go.

  We met Rex and the others as we entered the meeting room. Once a month, Samuel liked to have a meeting with the officers and Old Ladies to talk about the new additions to the club, the business side of running the bar and mechanic shop, and family matters. Many biker clubs didn’t include their women in business, but that was one thing in the bylaws Samuel hadn’t argued about.

  Old Ladies held degrees ranging from accounting to nursing. Each of them plied their trade and many worked outside of the club. Jasmin was the only one who didn’t, watching the books with the Treasurer. Well, her and Melody. Eventually, though, I’d make sure Melody was afforded the same freedoms as the others.

  “Do you want to go to school?” I whispered in her ear.

  She frowned up at me. “I already did. I graduated magna cum laude with a bachelor’s in finance.”

  “No shit?”

  She shrugged and rested her head on my shoulder. “I had plans before …”

  Her words faded and I let them go. We tripped over the skeletons we’d left behind with every step we took. I stroked her hair and pulled her tighter to me. Her cool fingers curled against my chest and her soft lips pressed against my throat.

  “You will use it one day,” I promised her. She didn’t respond, but she didn’t have to. Trust didn’t come easy for people like us, but she’d find out.

  “It’s good to see you doing good,” Jasmin said. Melody shifted in my arms and looked over at the President’s Old Lady.

  What the fuck?

  “What?” Melody asked.

  Jasmin sighed. “We got off on the wrong foot, you know? You were new, and I didn’t know you. Jack has been with us since he was a kid, and we care about him. We didn’t know if you’d be a danger to us. And after seeing your picture on the news, we worried you could do more harm than good staying here,” Jasmin explained.

  Bullshit.

  Jasmin smiled sweetly, and Samuel nodded his head, but I wasn’t the only officer looking at her as if she’d grown two heads. Rex frowned at her then looked to me. He shrugged, and I swung my gaze back to Jasmin. What was their angle? What did they hope to accomplish?

  Melody gripped my leather. “Things happen,” she said. I barely heard her whisper, “Pick your battles.”

  I kissed her brow and the top of her head to soothe her. If Jasmin wanted to play nice, the best course of action was to accept it. If things changed, she looked stupid, not Melody.

  “Hopefully, you girls will get together soon. Melody here has a degree in finance. Could help with things around here,” I said.

  Jasmin cleared her throat. “We still have a few things to clear up, but I don’t see why not. Later, of course.”

  There it was—the banked anger. Jasmin cut her eyes to Samuel and back before she smiled again. But her eyes were dead. What did I miss? What could she do in front of everyone?

  “We can hold up on that, baby,” Samuel said. “We’ve got a few other things to discuss first. The shop is operating in the black, and with the dues, we can go ahead and pay off both homes for Hitch and Jacob’s families. Are we all in agreement on this?”

  “Yes,” Rex said.

  “Of course,” Sloane added.

  “I’m with it,” I answered.

  Samuel nodded. “I’ve also factored in the taxes on the properties and we can afford to cover those this year. We still in agreement?”

  “I am, as long as they are in the house. They sell it, we pull financing for the family,” Sloane said.

  “Fine,” Samuel said.

  We all agreed.

  “Next matter of business?” Rex asked.

  “Go ahead, baby,” Samuel said to Jasmin.

  “Look, Melody. I’m not ready to say you are completely in with us. I just know we have to make what changes we can, you understand?”

  “What is it you want me to do to prove myself?” Melody asked.

  “I want you to run The Gauntlet.”

  Melody sat up, but I pulled her back down to keep my hands busy. Anything to stop me from strangling Jasmin.

  “The Gauntlet?” Rex asked.

  “That hasn’t been done in over ten years, even if it is in the rules. You can’t honestly expect her to agree to that. No other Old Lady has had to do that. The last one was an exhibitionist and wanted that shit,” I argued.

  My muscles locked hard and I gritted my teeth. These assholes. These fucking backstabbing, out-for-blood bastards. They knew I’d never agree to it, but the test was out there, in front of everyone. I’d already fought for her once; it wouldn’t happen again.

  The Gauntlet came about in the first days of DE when hippie ideals of freedom and love were in. Old Ladies didn’t marry their bikers, but instead put him first in an open relationship. The Gauntlet was that test. If an Old Lady could handle being open with sex. Over time, it changed from accepting multiple partners in a public setting to just taking the biker she was tying herself to.

  Either way, they expected Melody to fuck me, in plain view of the entire club.

  Not going to fucking happen.

  “The rules of the club are the rules, Jack. You can argue if you want, but isn’t it your job to enforce them? You really want to let your woman break them any more than she has? We’ve allowed her to go patchless for weeks, the club allows for two when it comes to introduced Old Ladies. She is still working the bar like a honey instead of a regular job to assist with the club, and she hasn’t made any contributions yet. I think we are being lenient to let her do this one act to clear her,” Samuel said.

  I gripped Melody’s thigh under the table. She flinched, but I couldn’t relax my fingers. She was mine. Mine. No one saw her naked but me. They didn’t deserve to see her body the same way I did, or know how we came
together in bed. I’d asked for weeks to get her patched, and they both knew it, but I’d refrained from asking publicly and they’d used it against me.

  “I thought Jack has been asking to get Melody patched?” Amanda asked. Rex’s wife didn’t come to many meetings. Since their second child, she preferred to stay home to take care of them. Tonight, though, I could have kissed her.

  “Get your Old Lady clear, Rex. We had shit going on and he should have waited to make her his Old Lady when the timing was better,” Samuel hissed.

  “How would I have timed it better?” I asked. The Old Ladies didn’t need to know the choice I’d had to make, but I wasn’t going to let Samuel just run the show. As he spoke, the urge to fuck all the honor and the position I’d clawed my way to grew.

  Samuel looked at me, and the hatred in his eyes matched mine inside for him. “You had a choice, you chose wrong.”

  “She is my Old Lady, papers be damned, and you will respect—”

  “I don’t have to respect a fucking thing. You chose that bitch when you could have removed her from the equation. Everyone sitting here knows it, so don’t make this out to be some sort of witch hunt.”

  “But it is,” I said. Fuck sitting back. Forget letting him rule my life after everything I’d ever done.

  “Watch yourself, Jack,” Samuel warned.

  Melody gripped the hand I squeezed her thigh with and held on with a punishing grip. No. I wasn’t going to watch myself. Samuel pushed me to limits I never thought I’d go. Melody in my life changed things. I’d made her a promise and I intended to keep it. If that mean burning this entire club to the ground, I’d do exactly that. Everyone wouldn’t agree with Samuel. They couldn’t. Most felt like Rex; I’d served my punishment and it was over. Sloane angled for the President chair so his vote didn’t fucking count.

  The world calmed. I rested back in my seat and displayed a crooked smile. Melody perched on my lap and held my hand as the coldness seeped in. For too long I’d let him play this game; I was over it. Rule enforcement didn’t only matter for the patch members without position. Even ranking officials could be kicked if they broke them. Samuel was skirting them now, but that didn’t mean he’d always succeed in that.