by Marlie May
As if Roan sensed me near, he turned.
“Need something?” His gaze drifted from my eyes—his deepening to slate—to my mouth. His broad shoulders strained the fabric of his shirt, and his hair stuck up in places. I scraped my teeth across my lower lip.
His hands lifted from the sink, and bubbles slid down his forearms to plop onto the floor. “Cara?” he whispered.
“I…I…” Pivoting on my heel, I fled back down the hall. My body shook, and my hands twitched.
I needed to get away from Roan before I did something stupid.
Like back him against the counter and kiss him.
Roan
I should’ve left after delivering Cara’s tea. A shit-load of work waited for me at the bottling plant.
Why was I still hanging around, then?
Yawning because I’d barely slept last night, I followed Cara and Arie down the back stairs and out to the sidewalk to wait for the bus. Arie leaped from one snow pile to the next, excitement blasting off her like laser beams. Southern California didn’t see much snow. What kid wouldn’t be eager to play in it?
“I’m goin’ to school. I’m goin’ to school,” she sang in a chirpy voice.
She was pretty damn cute, as far as kids go.
Grabbing her hand, Cara swung her arm and sang, “Arie’s going to school. Arie’s going to school.”
And Cara was an awesome mom.
Arie ran to the snowbank spanning the front of the building. Leaping off it, she crunched through the sheen of ice skimming the top of a frozen puddle. When the ice let out a sharp crack, she grinned and looked for another to break.
I’d loved doing that as a kid.
Cara buttoned her flannel shirt all the way to her chin. She stomped her slippers on the sidewalk and trembled.
Where was her winter coat? Her boots? She was not dressed for Maine’s January weather. I wanted to put my arm around her shoulders like I’d done when we were younger. Be her friend; lend her my warmth. But I wasn’t sure how she’d take it. And I didn’t want to ruin things like I’d done before.
Where did I hope to take this situation with Cara, anyway? Buying her tea was one thing. Sharing breakfast hadn’t crossed the line. But warming her up could be mistaken for pushing for something further.
Jason was gone.
Thinking his death might change things for Cara and I made me an outright bastard. It smacked of taking advantage of her vulnerability. I’d stolen from them once and refused to do it again. I needed my best friend back in my life. That had to be my sole priority with Cara.
Her teeth chattered.
Okay, so I’d be a crappy friend if I let her freeze to death. Striding over to her, I unwrapped my scarf and looped it around her neck. She jumped when my fingers brushed her face, but she couldn’t be scared of me, could she? She had to know that Florida would freeze over solid before I’d ever hurt her.
The warmth in her gaze when she lifted it to meet mine suggested a different reason for her jump. “I meant to grab my coat, but I…” Her breath caught, and color filled her cheeks. From the cold, or was the color from something else? If I didn’t scare her, and I’d caused her to blush, it might mean she liked being close to me. My heart tripped over the idea, picked it up, and ran with it. I stomped my heart flat before it shot ahead because feeling this way was wrong.
But this is Cara. Years ago, I would’ve killed to find a way into her life permanently.
Maybe she’d forgiven me for what I’d done. I’d never meant to drive a wedge between her and Jason. I’d kicked my butt for a long time after Jason cornered me and shouted that I’d messed up their relationship.
Wondering if Cara might be open to anything more was going to drive me out of my mind. Because I needed a distraction, I slipped off my coat, wrapped it around her, and tucked her hands through the sleeves.
“Wait. What are you doing?” She blinked up at me while I tugged on the zipper.
My hands stilled, and I lost myself in her beautiful gray eyes. Wilder than a stormy sea and just as dangerous.
“You need your coat,” she said.
“You need it more.” If only I could run my fingertips across her pink cheeks like I’d done that one time. Kiss them.
Kiss her.
“I can’t take it. You’re only wearing a t-shirt.” She tugged on the zipper.
Pivoting, I raced toward where Arie was destroying more than her fair share of ice puddles. If the kid kept at it, there’d be none left for me.
“Roan,” Cara called out, but I ignored her. Keeping her warm meant a lot to me, more than being warm myself. And the idea that she might be open to more than friendship was sending an inferno through my veins. At this rate, I wouldn’t need a coat all winter.
My grin could not be denied.
I loved this time of year.
While growing up, I’d tried to talk Cara into snowmobiling up north. Snowshoeing. She’d shot me down every time. The bravest thing she’d done was full-moon trail hiking in April, complete with pup tents and sub-zero sleeping bags. She’d quivered as we strode along, insisting she was a summer girl, only happy while soaking up the heat. But she’d curled under the blanket with me when we sat in front of the fire after dinner. If only we could’ve stayed there forever.
I jumped onto a puddle and tilted my head, tasting the crisp, sharp sound. “Ah.”
Arie snickered but covered her mouth when she glanced at her mom.
Why bother keeping a straight face? Sticking my tongue out at her, I strode over to another circle of ice. Stooping down, I jumped into the air, making the movement extra dramatic. I came down with a big crunch. So freakin’ cool.
Arie giggled.
I glanced at Cara.
“Thank you,” she mouthed. Blinking fast, she stared at her daughter with all the love in the world on her face.
Arie was all she had left of Jason. His death must’ve drained everything from her. In one moment, their entire future together had been gone. It couldn’t have been easy to lose the man she loved.
“Don’t stand there with your jaw swinging, kiddo.” I rubbed Arie’s shoulder. “Keep dawdling, and I’m gonna beat you to all the best ice.”
“Are not.” Challenge accepted, Arie rushed for the next patch.
We raced neck and neck, playfully elbowing each other out of the way. I groaned and staggered as if she was wearing me out. Ice cracked and popped beneath our boots. Arie huffed and giggled. It was a toss-up who of us was having more fun, her or me.
“Oh, my gosh.” Someone paused beside Cara. “Is that really you?”
“Ms. Menton?” Cara said.
Ms. Menton had been our high school English teacher. I left Arie to the ice and went over to join them.
She smiled, rosy color darkening her brown cheeks. “Roan. How are you?”
“Decent.” Improving all the time. I wasn’t tired anymore. In fact, I felt better than I had in years.
Ms. Menton pulled her hat down over her black hair, covering her ears. “I heard you were back in town, Cara. Also heard you’d bought this place and planned to open a tea room and bakery.” She tipped her head toward the building. “Exactly what this town needs.”
Cara’s grin widened. “I hope to open my doors by the end of April.”
“Perfect.” Ms. Menton paused and darted her brown eyes away. “How’s your dad? I haven’t been out there for a few days.”
Cara’s eyebrows lifted. “You’ve been visiting Dad?”
“You might not know it, but we went to high school together.” Ms. Menton squeezed Cara’s arm. “I’ve got to run. It’s been wonderful seeing you. Let’s get together sometime.” She laughed. “For tea.”
“I’d like that.”
Ms. Menton started down the sidewalk, arms outstretched like a skater to maintain her balance on the ice, shouting, “I’m in the phone book. Call me.”
“I will!” Cara tapped her chin as the other woman rushed around the corner. “I wonder
what’s up with Dad and Ms. Menton?” Shaking her head, she slid her eyes my way. They warmed up nicely when they reached my face.
“Hey, kid,” I said to Arie because I needed to cover the kick in my chest. I liked that Cara might still hold feelings for me, even if it meant nothing more than friendship. “We’ve gotta make a snowman.”
“Yeah.” Arie dropped to her knees and started molding crusty chunks of snow into something that looked more like a snow monster. That was okay. I was cool with monsters.
Before we could finish, the bus drove up and screeched to a stop. The door opened, and the driver shouted, “All aboard.”
“Bye, Arie.” Cara hugged her daughter and then gnawed on her fingernail, a habit I’d teased her about years ago.
“See ya later, kid.” I ruffled Arie’s head. “Wear your hat during recess. Your mittens. And pay attention at school. Don’t even think about mouthing off to your teacher.”
Cara grumbled. “Roan.”
I shrugged. “What?”
“Mouthing off,” Arie whispered, her face scrunching. She looked up at me. “Is that like swearing?”
“Exactly.” Okay, Cara might clobber me for this one. I never could resist egging her on.
“Mouthing off.” Arie hefted her backpack and gave me a hand flip as she headed for the bus. “Swearing.”
“Crap.” Cara slapped her hand over her mouth. “I mean, oh, no.”
“Gotta watch your mouth, there, honey.” I wiggled my eyebrows. “Might get you into a world of trouble.”
Hell, I was in a world of trouble already. Cara trouble.
“You’re the one who started it.” She rolled her eyes. “Mouthing off.” Striding past me, she waved while the bus rounded the corner and headed toward the elementary school.
I joined her, catching the tail end of her sigh.
“You’ve got a great kid there,” I said, hoping to cheer her up. Seeing her cold was bad. Hearing her voice crack like she was about to cry made me want to tug her into my arms and never let go.
“She is a great kid.” Creases appeared on her face. “It’s hard sending her off to a new school.” The breath she took in shuddered.
Even though it had been years, she’d been my best friend. I had to comfort her. Stepping forward, I gave her a hug, cursing myself for wishing it could mean more.
“Oh, um, Roan,” Cara said breathlessly.
A van with Handyman Plumbing & Heating written on the side drove up and parked at the curb.
“Great. The furnace crew,” Cara said with way more relief than my pride could handle. She stepped out of my embrace. “Thank goodness.”
Thank goodness because she needed urgent furnace help? Or because she was grateful for the interruption?
“You having problems with your furnace?”
“It’s cranky.” She waved to the men getting out of the van, saying over her shoulder as she hurried toward them, “How about we catch up some other time?”
Another brush off.
That spark I’d been nurturing in my gut snuffed out. I must’ve read her wrong. Read this entire situation wrong. And maybe I should leave. Actually, I had to leave. A billion problems must wait for me at work.
But instead of taking my boots down the street to my car, I took off after Cara.
Cara
Because I expected him to leave, I paused when Roan strode forward to greet the furnace men. After a bunch of bromance—slaps on the back and how you doin’s—he helped them heft their equipment and carry it into the building. Tool bags. Ladders. Lunch coolers. How long did they think this would take? Hurrying after them, I tried not to get distracted by the sway of Roan’s backside. Damn him for having such a hot butt.
The guys bustled down the stairs and into the basement. I trailed behind them to the ancient furnace, which rumbled and hissed when they drew near like it knew they had unpleasant intentions and planned to fight to the death. I expected flames to shoot from gleaming eyes. A gaping maw to open up and swallow me whole.
Shrugging off my shivers, as well as Roan’s coat, which I handed to him, I nibbled on my fingernail while the guys poked and prodded the furnace, banging on this and that. They flipped switches and inspected it from top to bottom.
Crossing my arms on my chest, I ignored Roan, who hovered beside me, eyeing both me and the furnace guys with equal interest. All the while, the men mumbled ayuh, could be, and damn shame. What was a damn shame? Well, other than the fact that Roan kept staring at me. I wished he’d stop. It messed with my equilibrium.
Friends. Friends. You can only be friends.
Head furnace guy, if the cap with Chief was any indication, came over and stood in front of Roan. “Doesn’t look good. Not sure it can be saved.” Said like he was a surgeon performing an operation on a trauma victim.
I inched forward. “Is it just parts? You order them, you replace them, and bingo, it runs like a charm. Right?”
“More like all the parts,” a skinny teenager in blue overalls chimed in from behind Chief.
“Might want to consider ordering another furnace,” Chief said to Roan. “This thing will hold out for maybe a while, but no guaranteeing how long. Give me the go-ahead, and I’ll get you something installed within a month. I get deals on Peerless. It’s a good boiler.” He pulled out a stubby pencil and notebook and flipped through the pages. “Most of February’s open. Want me to write you in for early in the month?”
Roan splayed his hands wide. “I’m not the owner here.” He tilted his head my way. “This building belongs to her. I’m only here as a friend.”
The teenager blinked. “Whoa. I thought she was your wife.”
Please. What was it with guys always assuming women existed solely to be the fluff on some man’s arm? This wasn’t the Dark Ages. Hello? It was the 21st century. Women ran businesses all the time without a guy hovering nearby telling them how to do it.
“Think you’re wrong, Fred.” Chief took off his hat and scratched his balding head. His intent gaze landed on me. “Think Roan’s wife has blonde hair.” His eyes widened as he scrutinized Roan, and he took a step backward. The furnace guys shifted their feet, brows high as if they assumed me and Roan were having an affair right here on the basement floor.
I frowned at Roan. “Dad told me you’re divorced.” It shouldn’t matter whether he was married or not. Why did it?
“Lainie and I haven’t been together for over a year,” Roan said.
I never could figure out what he’d seen in the other woman.
Lainie had made my life hell from the moment we met during our junior year of college when Roan introduced me to his new girlfriend. From the mocking glint in her eyes whenever we met up after that, it was obvious she saw through my façade of Roan is just a friend, to my hidden truth. That I’d crushed on Roan for years.
I’d dated Jason through my senior year, but we broke up two weeks before graduation. Roan and Lainie ended things about the same time. With Roan and me free, I’d thought…Okay, I’d been stupid to think I stood a chance with him.
Everything fell to pieces the morning after we slept together.
I’d rushed back to Roan’s dorm room after slipping away to take a shower. Before I left for the airport, we needed to talk about where we’d go from here. I knocked, bouncing on my toes, waiting for him to come to the door.
It creaked open, and Lainie poked her head out. Mussed hair, as if someone had just run their fingers through it. She clutched a sheet to her chest and yawned. “What do you want?”
A boulder of pain sunk through my belly. Why was she here? And where was Roan?
Lainie laughed. “You weren’t looking for my boyfriend, were you?”
“You two broke up.”
She snorted. “Yeah, so? We’re back together.”
“I’m sorry…it was…” I gulped. “I knocked on the wrong door.”
The twist on her face rivaled Cruella de Vil’s. “You really didn’t think he’d want you, did you?”
/>
Sobbing, I ran, smacking into Jason in the hall downstairs. Sure, we’d broken up, but I’d never been happier to see him.
“You okay?” He held my arms, steadying me. Good thing or I might’ve fallen.
I told him how I’d left Roan’s room then gone back and found Lainie there, naked. How I wanted to slink away and die.
“And you trust Lainie?” Jason rolled his eyes. “She’s a bitch.”
I shrugged, feeling like a fool. I’d given my heart to a guy who didn’t love me the same way.
“Tell you what,” Jason said. “I’ll find out what’s going on. Be your knight in shining armor. It’s the least I can do for a friend.” He led me into an empty study area. “Wait here.” When he returned, he sat and put his arm around my shoulders. “It’s like this, Cara—”
“Cara.” Roan’s voice pulled at my mind. He said something else, but I barely heard him.
Not believing Jason’s word, I texted Roan. What’s going on?
I’m sorry, he said. It shouldn’t have happened.
Shouldn’t have happened. Each word was a brick crushing my soul.
“Cara?” Roan repeated. “You okay?”
I shook my head, scattering the memory, and studied Roan’s concerned face.
If only I could find a way to scatter my memories forever. “I’m fine.” I wasn’t. Sometimes, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be fine again. But I couldn’t cling to him any longer. Or need him. Roan was no more within my reach than the stars. Since graduation, I’d let Jason tell me what to do. How to do it. It was time I stood on my own two feet.
Fortunately, the furnace guys presented a great opportunity. I strode over to Chief. “Pencil me into your book for an overhaul.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Chief said. He licked his pencil lead, then wrote. “Early February okay with you?”
“Yes.”
“We can tinker a bit, see if we can make this old gal run better until the new furnace comes in.” Chief patted the metal structure like it was an ancient mare. “Maybe get you through a few more weeks.”