by Marlie May
It had only been hours since we’d sat silently across from each other at the breakfast table this morning. Why did it feel like three lifetimes had passed?
“Okay, I guess.”
“Arie had a great time yesterday.” He’d taken her to the movies after school. I’d stayed home. Alone. Struggling to put a patch on my pain, a wound that would never heal.
“She said she did.” I swallowed. The man I’d always love was nearer to me than he’d been in what felt like forever. It felt sweet, yet bitter. Because we were acting like strangers. We were stepping toward an acceptance of something different, something with no going backward. “She loves having your family in her life.”
“They love her, too. She’s a wonderful kid.” His warm gaze glided across my face. “You did a great job raising her.”
“Thank you.”
We turned and stared toward the child we now shared. She raced around with her friends, her cheeks pink from laughing.
I’d known Roan since I was six, when our hands met when we reached for the top of the monkey bars at the same time. We’d shared each precious event of our childhood, and I knew we’d find our way through this like we had the last time we ended.
If nothing else, I would always call him a friend. But this version of my best friend felt stoic. As if he’d resigned himself to a future that did not include me.
I’d die when he asked for a divorce.
“Cara, I—”
Choked up, and fearing the words I dreaded would slip from him right now, I left, walking over to where Sam had set up the piñata.
Arie would hit first. Blindfolded, she held the bat.
“You and Roan need some privacy to talk?” Sam asked.
Please, no more talking. Not if it included goodbye.
Roan came up beside me. I barely resisted leaning into the heat from his body.
“I didn’t come here to shout accusations,” he said softly by my ear. “Or to make you cry. I’ve messed up, and I want to say I’m sorry. For not listening to you, because I imagine there’s a good explanation for what happened.”
“Jason lied again,” I said. “He forged the original paternity results.”
The shock on his face was priceless. “He never stopped lying, did he? He was determined to have you and he…” He paused and closed his eyes for a moment as if he needed to regain control of his anger at Jason. “I’m really sorry. I can’t believe I doubted you for even a second. Doubted us. It was wrong of me, and it’s something I’ll regret forever.” His face cratered, overcome with grief. “As for the divorce, I won’t stand in your way.”
And there it was. A divorce. Soon, we’d be no more.
Overcome with grief, I could only shrug.
One side of his lips lifted, and I read the resignation in his eyes. He nodded.
Arie swung the bat, and it connected with the piñata. I plastered a fake smile on my face because I wouldn’t do anything to sour her day. When it was my turn, I swung the bat, too. Only giving into shivers when Sam tied on the blindfold.
The piñata broke, and the kids dove for the candy. I grinned at Sam, and we both shook our heads.
I glanced to where Roan had stood and my body sagged.
He was gone. His coat was gone. He’d left.
Sam elbowed my side. “Go after him.”
“He’s talking divorce.”
“Maybe. And maybe not. You’ll never know if you don’t ask him, now will you?”
My breath shuddered from my lungs, leaving behind an empty sack.
“Putting yourself out there is hard, isn’t it?” she said softly.
Would I ever stop hurting?
I followed her gaze to the engagement ring she’d never removed from her hand. “Sometimes, I wonder,” she said. “If Max had come home from that business trip overseas…Would we be married? Would we have a child? A home together? Would he be here right now, by my side?”
In her eyes, I found my answer. The hurt would go on for a very long time.
“You’ve never been much of a risk-taker, have you?” she said finally.
“Hey,” I said. “I went sledding.”
“Death defying activity right there.”
I shook my head, but she was right. Sledding wasn’t exactly risky business. “I went ziplining in Costa Rica, too.”
Risks.
It seemed like I’d spent too much of my life giving in to everyone else’s demands. First Jason’s, then his mother’s. My fear of rejection kept me from going to Roan after our night together. And now my fear that Roan would reject me again held me locked in place, in the present. But by doing nothing, I faced a lifetime without him. I could be losing my chance to reset our future.
I closed my eyes and remembered ziplining. Leaving myself to fate had been one of the most wonderful moments in my life. For the first time, I’d felt free.
With Roan, I’d felt freer.
Sometimes, to find yourself, you had to release the line, stretch out your arms, and trust that things would work out the way they were meant to be.
Or you had to change fate.
Grabbing my sweatshirt off the hook, I shoved my arms through the sleeves. “Can you tell everyone I’ll be back in a bit?”
“Sure thing.” Sam grinned. “I can handle this. Take all the time you need.”
Hopefully, time would be on my side.
After rushing down the back stairs, I raced along the walkway, my arms outstretched so I wouldn’t slip on the ice.
It was snowing.
Where was Roan? Had he driven away already?
Arms spiraling, I turned out onto the sidewalk. I ran toward the Brew House, my heels skidding on the slick surface hidden underneath the new-fallen snow.
My steps slowed. I stopped and shivered, while the wind bit into my cheeks.
Roan sat on a bench, head bent, fingering the fringe on his scarf.
Approaching, I dropped onto the seat beside him.
He said nothing for so long, I soon worried I’d made a huge mistake coming after him.
“You didn’t leave,” I finally said because I had to speak. I had to try.
Tipping his head back, he closed his eyes. He opened his mouth and caught a snowflake. “I needed to explore a few possibilities first.”
Oh, gosh, please. “Discover anything good yet?” My voice croaked out. This was scary and exciting, all at the same time.
“As long as you’re in my life, the possibilities are endless.” His soft gaze met mine, and in his gorgeous eyes, I saw something beautiful.
An us.
He unlinked his scarf and tucked it along my neck. Looped it beneath my chin. He zipped up my sweatshirt. Then stroked my hair. His eyes darkened to evergreen. “I missed so much. Arie’s birth. Those precious first steps. My daughter calling me daddy.”
I tried to imagine what it would’ve been like if things had worked out differently. If we’d had a future together. Roan would’ve gone to Lamaze classes with me. He would’ve held my hand in the delivery room. After she was born, he would’ve smiled down at me. Kissed me and told me how proud he was of the life we’d created.
We would’ve built memories we could’ve shared for the rest of our days.
He cupped my cheeks with trembling hands. “Even more, I missed the life we should’ve had. The one that was stolen from both of us.”
There was no going back to start over. We could just move forward.
Was there a chance we could do it together?
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I blew it. I let what happened with Lainie influence everything, and my biggest regret is how I acted with you. After what she did, well, it doesn’t really matter now because I was wrong. I should’ve listened. Trusted you. Trusted in us. I hope…you can forgive me.”
Snowflakes fell, collecting on our shoulders. My lashes. I stuck out my tongue and caught one.
This one didn’t taste like nothing. It tasted like endless possibilities.
“Can we start over?” he asked. “I understand if you want to say no. In fact, I deserve to hear no.”
He didn’t. How could I turn my back on our third chance together? “Yes.”
“Yes?”
I grinned. “Yes!”
“I love you, Cara. I’ll love you forever.” He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, and my heart filled to overflowing.
“No divorce,” I said when we came up for air.
“You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” He kissed my nose, my cheeks, my forehead.
I laughed, and we smiled at each other.
We snuggled together on the bench, his arm around my shoulders, and we watched the snow collect on the sidewalk.
As far as I was concerned, it could keep snowing for the rest of my life.
“I was thinking,” I said.
His arm tightened on my shoulders. “Go on.”
“What would you think about booking a room with a heart-shaped bed?”
Roan
That night.
My life had come full circle.
I don’t know what I would’ve done—how I would’ve survived—if Cara hadn’t forgiven me. It was wrong of me to doubt her, to paint her with the same brush as Lainie, but I’d learned a hard lesson.
And I’d found a family.
Cara and I sat on Arie’s bed with our daughter snuggled between us. My heart wanted to burst whenever I looked at my child, and while I’d missed her younger years, I was determined to savor every moment I’d been granted with her from now on.
“Prayers?” Cara asked as she set the book she’d finished reading onto the bedside table.
Arie yawned. “Can…” She peeked up at me, and her smile—just like Sam’s—beamed up at me. “You say ‘em, too, Roan?”
We planned to tell her I was her father soon but would speak to a counselor first to make sure we made the transition as smooth as possible. She’d loved Jason, and the last thing we wanted to do was hurt her. But I ached to hear her call me daddy.
“Let’s do it, huh?” I grinned at Cara over the top of Arie’s head, then slipped my arm around Cara’s shoulders and pulled both of them near. From now on, no matter what hurdles were thrown my way, I’d never let Cara and Arie go.
Cara began, and I joined in, “Now I lay me down to sleep.”
Arie chimed in with us in a voice that essentially cracked my chest wide open. “Pray the Lord, my soul to keep.”
“In the morning, when I rise, I pray the Lord, my soul to prize,” we said in unison.
Arie’s mouth stretched with another yawn, and her eyes slid closed before popping back open. She’d be sound asleep soon. “Sing, Mommy and Roan,” she whispered.
Before Cara could start, I jumped in, because I loved this song already. Loved the connection it created between me, my wife, and my daughter. “Fluffy bunny, fluffy bunny. Hopping in the morning.”
Cara leaned across Arie and gave me a quick kiss. “Keep going, love. You’re doing great.” The tease shown in her eyes, and hell, I knew my voice sounded all froggy and awful, but Arie seemed okay with it.
As for the teasing, I’d get even with Cara in our bedroom soon. Maybe she was open to some tickling. Or those scarves.
“Fluffy bunny, fluffy bunny,” we sang softly together. “Snuggling warm in her burrow.”
Rabbits. A month ago, who would’ve thought I’d be singing about rabbits? Now, I couldn’t wait to sing about them every night until Arie begged me to stop. Hopefully not until she was eighteen.
“Fluffy bunny, fluffy bunny,” I croaked out.
“Hopping into the sunshine tomorrow,” Cara finished.
And that summed up my future.
As long as Cara and Arie were part of it, my world would be filled with sunshine.
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Other Books by Marlie May
Crescent Cove Contemporary Romances
SOME LIKE IT SCOT
SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE
Crescent Cove Romantic Suspense
Viper Force
FEARLESS, April, 2019
RUTHLESS, Summer, 2019
Independent Titles
TWIST OF FATE, May, 2019
(A time travel romance set in ancient Pompeii)
If you’d like a quick peek at the first book in my
Crescent Cove Romantic Suspense Series, a story about Cooper,
a Navy Seabee Chief, and Ginny, his best friend’s younger sister,
turn the page for the first chapter…
Our second chance at love turns lethal when a man from her past is determined to see her dead.
An active duty Navy Chief, I'm on leave only long enough to clean out my dad's house and shut the door on the abuse I suffered there.
Never planned to go camping.
Or run into my best friend's younger sister, Ginny Bradley-the girl I would've killed to be with twelve years ago.
Man, she's a tease. Sends my pulse into overdrive.
With an upcoming deployment, I'd be a jerk to sweet talk her into something more.
But when someone stalks her, my protective instincts kick in.
Someone tried to kidnap me. They broke me, and I quit my job as a traveling photographer and moved home to Maine.
A weekend camping with my brother and his best friend will put my fears to rest.
When did Cooper Talon, the skinny teenager I had the hots for back in high school, grow into this gorgeous, self-assured man? Those abs...
With the hours ticking down to Cooper's deployment, we're desperate to find out who wants to kill me, all while fighting the growing attraction we're helpless to resist. Because the incidents are escalating.
While long-distance romances rarely survive, they end permanently when threats turn lethal.
This book was a 2018 RWA® Golden Heart Finalist.
Available on Amazon and FREE through Kindle Unlimited
Ginny
Instinct told me to run.
As I hurried down the path between the campground and the lake, the forest loomed around me. Air heavy with the scent of decomposed leaves and earth filled my lungs. It hadn’t rained for weeks, and brittle grass crunched beneath my sandals like tiny bones.
And while it had to be at least eighty out, my skin prickled with goosebumps.
Switching my tote bag from my weaker to my stronger arm, I deliberately slowed my pace. Told my heart to stop racing. If anyone saw me scurrying like a spooked rabbit, they wouldn’t believe that for the past ten years, I’d traveled the world all by myself. I’d walked through the countryside near Cairo. Spent days backpacking on the Isle of Crete. I’d even hiked for a month in the Kalahari region of South Africa. More often than not, I hadn’t known where I’d wind up the next day, let alone where I’d lay my head that night.
And now, I was so chicken shit, I could barely find the courage to walk through a wooded campground alone.
“Here’s the white-hot truth,” I whispered to myself. “No one’s going to snatch you up and carry you away.” This was Maine, the laid-back place I’d grown up in. Not Istanbul, where my confidence had been shattered.
It wasn’t easy facing the fear I’d lived with for three months, but I’d come camping this weekend with my older brother to find a way to start moving past it.
I emerged out onto a beach that sloped down to the lake. Ahead, the water gleamed, blue glass broken by only a few boaters and swimmers. On the shore, two little girls splashed under their mom’s hovering gaze. A bald man sat on the dock with his feet dangling in the water. And farther out, teenagers hooted as they cannonballed off a float.
“See?” I mumbled. “You’re fine.”
A solo walk was th
e first challenge I’d set for myself. Next up? Swimming alone. After staking out a chair with my towel, I pulled off my sundress and waded into the lake. A sweaty mess after helping my brother set up our campsite, the cool water gliding over my skin felt fantastic. I turned onto my back and floated, my hair tickling my shoulders like blonde seaweed. The sun beat down, dulling my senses, and I relaxed.
Pushing my resolve, I flipped over and swam away from shore, making for the closest float. My brisk crawl soon brought me within reach, and I tapped the top of the wooden frame to tick off another accomplishment. Grinning, I gave myself an imaginary pat on the back, then turned and paddled back to the beach.
My self-confidence growing with each test, I strode from the water. I dried off and pulled on my sundress, then sat and buried my heels in the sand. Laziness sunk into my bones.
“What an awesome day,” I said, squinting at the lake.
The woman minding her daughters turned and smiled. “Gorgeous, isn’t it?”
"Definitely." Times like this lived to be captured, and who better to record them than a photographer? Pulling my camera from my tote bag, I took pictures of the trees reflecting on the water. The little girls splashing on the shore. I zoomed in on a grasshopper climbing to the top of a blade of grass and, tilting sideways, took a selfie with the grasshopper. I tossed my camera back into my tote, grabbed my paperback, and was soon sucked into the story.
Until a crack rang out in the forest behind me.
Shifting around, I peered over my shoulder but saw nothing.
Another snap. As if something—no, someone—had stepped on a stick.
Rising, I gnawed on my lower lip while staring toward the woods. Where the sun barely reached, a shadow darted from one tree to another.