by Glass, Lisa
I walked home and thought about that bird and what it meant: maybe that all the badness was finally ending, and I thought about what Vega had asked me. There was actually something that I wanted but it wasn’t anything she could offer me, and it would be another six weeks before I’d get it.
Chapter 33On the night when we discovered the missing models, before my dad dragged me home, Mr Hitchcock turned to me and said:
‘I’ll set back the runt for you, dear, if your parents will allow it.’
‘Really?’ I said, welling up. ‘That’s properly nice of you. I’d love that. And Lizzie will get to see one of her babies grow up! I’ll walk them together every day after school. It’ll be so cool! Dad?’
‘What’s this?’
‘Lizzie’s pups. Can I have one?’
‘Ask your mother.’
‘She’ll say no. You know she will. She’ll say it’s too much work and I’m not responsible enough and she’ll be the one that’ll end up having to walk it every day. Come on. I never ask anything from you. Let me have a dog.’
He looked at me all exasperated and defeated.
‘Fine. You can have the dog. Just make your mother think it’s her idea, or I’ll never hear the end of her moaning.’
‘Yes!’ I said. ‘You are the best dad ever.’
The sun was up. The models sat down on a patch of grass together and shared out the packet of Munchies that I had scabbed off my dad, who like me was never without a sweet.
My dad went off to call the police. He also had to call my mum. I couldn’t imagine how either of those phone calls would go; I was just glad I didn’t have to make them.
Mr Hitchcock though was in good spirits.
‘Any more for any more? How about you, Luke? Are you in the way for another dog?’
‘Still getting over Clem.’
‘It’s been what four, five years since you lost that dog?’ Mr Hitchcock said.
My stomach sank.
‘What happened to her?’ he continued.
‘She ran away the night of the school fire. Never saw her again.’
‘Wait up. So she could be alive? I didn’t know that. I thought—‘.
‘Thought what?’
‘But how do you know she escaped?’
‘I saw her go through a shattered window. She was alive alright. Never came home though. Don’t know where she went.’
‘I always thought she died in the fire,’ I said, guiltily.
‘No, not Clem. She’s out there somewhere. Maybe a family down here on holiday found her and took her home. Hope so.’
‘Sorry,’ I said.
He just looked at me. I wondered if he had ever told Mr Hitchcock what he saw Han and me doing all those years ago on that nightmare night at the school.
‘You weren’t hurt in the fire, were you?’ I said.
‘No. Just a burn on my arm, that’s all. It healed.’
‘We didn’t mean to do it, you know,’ I said. ‘It was an accident. We was just exploring and then we saw those lab mice and wanted to set them free. Han said not to put on the lights in case we was seen. He had a proper Maglite but my torch was out of batteries so I took my dad’s tilley lamp.’
Luke listened with his head in his hands, as if my words were painful to him.
‘Han and me had snuck out because we thought it would be cool. I didn’t even know he liked me like that then. But he kissed me there in the Science lab and somehow the tilley lamp got knocked over and quickly, too quickly there was flames spreading everywhere.’
I spoke in a whisper. I couldn’t bear for my dad to hear me and know what I had done. What I had covered up.
‘They blamed it on me,’ Luke said, just as quietly. ‘That’s why I had to leave. I don’t mind about the job so much. But I miss Clementine.’
‘I’m really sorry,’ I said, thinking about that sad old folk song, “Oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine, you are lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry, Clementine.” It was too awful. ‘We should have told. Are you going to?’
‘If I was going to do that, I’d have done it by now. Accidents is accidents.’
It made me go cold to think of what we had done. Han wanted to admit that we were responsible, but I just couldn’t. Frozen, I was, with shame. And so I made him promise that he wouldn’t say anything. I made him renew that very same promise on the night that the firework display in the dunes killed those poor birds.
My folks always told me I was this really brainy kid, and I couldn’t bear them knowing I’d done something so stupid. And for another thing, we’d caused thousands of pounds of damage and my family didn’t have that kind of money. I thought back then that if it had gone to court that they could have taken Sunny Daze off of us and we’d have to go and live in a grotty flat in St Austell. Han, I always suspected, did tell his parents. It made sense that when they won that money on the scratchcard they moved away as quick as they could so that the horrible thing we did wouldn’t catch up with their son. They got him away from that school and they got him away from me. I thought they must have told his gran too, which would account for her hating me.
I told Luke all of this as best I could, and he stared at me with his fishy blue eyes full of sympathy – sympathy I didn’t deserve.
‘That’s not why Mrs Schwab hates you. She don’t like you because I told her that I saw her grandson feeling you up one night in the sand dunes.’
‘No way. Why would you do that?’
‘Because he was feeling you up.’
Mr Hitchcock heard the last of this and butted in.
‘Mrs Schwab is very sensitive about her grandson . . . growing up. The young man was once caught in bed with one of his classmates. They were both underage and were very nearly expelled as it occurred during a school trip.’
‘Who was the girl? Her name wasn’t Vega by any chance?’
‘I couldn’t say; Mrs Schwab didn’t mention the name. But she did say that the girl had a sulky temper on her and tried to press charges when Han told her he was leaving for Hayle. She took it all back later, of course, but those were surely rough times for the Smith family. Han was by all accounts blotto on cider when the transgressions occurred and he could barely remember getting into bed with the girl.’
‘That’s why he don’t drink no more,’ I said.
‘That’s why he doesn’t drink. He promised his family he’d never touch alcohol again.’
Thinking about Han still made me feel weird. I knew he was a liar. Vega was going to tell me about him, that day at the camp, but in a way I was relieved that Timothy’s news had stopped that happening. Because most of me didn’t want to know, since there was no way it could be good. Details would make it all feel real. At least this way there was a chance I had got things wrong. Once she said the words, made their excuses – whatever they were – that would be the end of it.
I didn’t know what would happen. All I knew was that I missed him.
Chapter 34I went to Buoyed Up to visit my puppy who had still not reached eight weeks old and I found Han doing the gardening for Mr Hitchcock. He looked about as miserable as I’ve ever seen a person look. I hoped he hadn’t started drinking again but if he had well then that was his choice.
I hadn’t spoken to him since that day he’d come to my room when I was ill in bed, and I ignored him as I walked up the garden path. I wasn’t surprised that his supermodel had left him in the lurch, busy as she was with setting the fashion world ablaze.
Mr Hitchcock was on a riff about God, which was one of his favourite subjects of late. He seemed to have got the God fever from Han’s granny, who he was openly dating, even though I couldn’t work out what he saw in her. Mr Hitchcock was telling me that he had changed his mind about causality and did in fact wonder if we’d caught God’s eye. Perhaps, he supposed, God was testing us. He could
only wonder whether we’d passed or been found lacking.
‘Do you really believe in God?’ I said. Mr Hitchcock seemed an unlikely candidate for religion. He was cynical about most everything.
‘If Mrs Schwab asks you, say I do.’
He stirred another sugar lump into my tea and looked up.
‘The truth is that believing in God is probably a pretty good bet, Jenny, dear. If you think about it.’
‘Not necessarily. What if you spend all your time praying to someone who isn’t even listening? That’d be a big waste of time, I’d say. I’d rather bite my own toenails and swallow them than spill my guts to some imaginary person. How sad would that be? Talking to a made-up thing?’
‘Point well made, my dear, but put it this way, if God don’t exist, then all you’ve lost is a few minutes thinking your nice, religious thoughts. But if God does exist and you just won’t have it to be? Well, you’ve lost an eternity in paradise. I know a decent bet when I see one.’ He was laughing as he said this, like it was the funniest idea in the world, so I didn’t know if he really believed in it or if he was just teasing.
‘Why would God want to test us?’ I said. ‘If he does exist, I mean? There’s six billion people in the world. Why us?’
‘Well, now, I can’t possibly answer that question, can I? I’d need to know everything about everyone in Hayle, before I could answer that. But I suppose one may speculate as to why we might have caught a deity’s attention. Maybe it’s the case that we’ve got someone very special living here,’ he said, ‘or someone very, very bad. All sorts of terrible things might be going on here, right under our noses. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, Jenny.’
‘No, you don’t,’ I said, ‘You only got to look at the likes of Han bloody Smith and all his cheating ways for proof of that,’ and I drank my tea in one big hot gulp that burned the roof of my mouth.
Han must have been digging the ground beneath the open window and heard what we’d said because suddenly he burst into the chalet, his face all flushed. My puppy, who I’d named Darth Vega, ran up to him and started biting at the hem of his jeans.
‘I can’t take it anymore,’ he said, ignoring the tiny teeth attacking his ankles. ‘I don’t care what she says or what she’s made me promise. I did not cheat on you. Not once. Not ever.’
Mr Hitchcock got up whistling and said he’d better take Lizzie for a stroll around the site.
‘Erm, and what about Vega? She said she loves you by the way. Oh, and apparently, according to her, you love her as well.’
‘Well, that’s true. Vega is my sodding sister. Underneath all that slap and those lip injections and them coloured contacts, it’s bloody Marinka.’
My heart stopped and all the breath seemed to go out of me as this revelation hit home.
‘Shut up. No way. Vega don’t look nothing like Marinka.’
‘You don’t look nothing like how you used to look either. Such a thing as adolescence. Last time I lived here you was running around in lumberjack shirts and dungarees. Now look at you.’
‘What?’ I said, thinking he’d finally lost the plot.
‘You can’t even see it. Talk about missing the obvious.’
‘Marinka? Why didn’t she say anything to me?’
‘She said she needed to reinvent herself. She didn’t even tell my gran. Luckily, Gran’s blind as a bat so she didn’t recognise her, not even after the ballet class thing. That’s what I’ve been doing. Helping Marinka. Over at the camp. Giving her the advantage.’
‘You’ve been helping her to cheat?’
‘S’pose some people might call it that.’
‘Cheating how?’
‘Sabotaging the other contestants, where we could. I didn’t want to do that but, you know, she’s my sister and she was desperate to win that bloody show.’
‘I can’t believe it. Vega. Cleopatra. Marinka. It’s mad.’ I had an awful thought. ‘Did you know she was going to stage her own disappearance?’
‘Course not. I’d have never gone along with that, which is why she didn’t tell me. I was just as worried as everyone else. We’re not talking at the moment. I ain’t very happy with her.’
‘But that accent. Marinka don’t speak like that.’
‘She does now. She got a scholarship to a private school and she started up like that the first term. Didn’t want to stand out as Cornish, did she, cause of all the bullying.’
‘Who’s Joshua Bell?’ I said, remembering the mysterious name in Vega’s mobile phone.
‘Famous violinist. Why d’ya ask?’
Han looked confused, but for me, finally, it all made sense.
‘So that’s why you been acting so weird and guilty. Marinka.’
‘Yeah, and while I’m on a roll, I better tell you about some trouble I had with my ex-girlfriend at my school.’
‘I know about that already. Mr Hitchcock told me.’
Han looked really shocked. ‘How’s he know?’
‘Your gran told him. They’re seeing each other.’
‘Great. My gran is dating your neighbour. Awesome.’
‘Is that it now?’ I said. ‘Or is there anything else I don’t know? Actually, why did I have to cover for you that time with your gran?’
‘Oh that. Yeah, some of her friends, spies more like, saw me hanging around the models, thought the worst and assumed I’d been having it away with half of them behind your back. My gran gave me hell.’
‘But you was only there to help Marinka?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Okay.’
‘So that’s it. That’s me. Accidentally helped burn down the Science department of a school when I was a kid, ended up caught in bed with my girlfriend on a French trip when I was off my head on cider, and lied to you about my sister. Now you know everything. Great catch I am, huh. Wouldn’t blame you if you walked off and never thought about me again. But I love you, Jen, I really love you. Think you could give me another chance?’
‘I dunno. Will you be honest with me from now on?’
‘I promise I will.’ He took both my hands in his big hand.
‘You’d better,’ I said.
‘Yesss,’ he said, grinning. ‘Come on, I’m taking you out. A pod of dolphins has been going up and down the bay all day. Loads of surfers have been out there catching waves with them. Fancy a swim?’
‘Dolphins! Cool. But rather than a swim, how about a surf?’
‘Yeah?’
‘I bought my own board – a Surf Series Six Eight – and I’ve learnt loads since last time. I can duck dive now, so I can finally get through the impact zone without getting half-drowned, and can paddle right out to the line-up to catch the big waves. I’m thinking of entering Newquay’s Amateur Surf Contest next month.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah, and guess what? I caught my first barrel wave yesterday. Just a small one, but an actual barrel!’
‘Wow, that’s awesome, Jen! I knew you’d be a natural,’ and then he stopped grinning and kissed me.
Side by side with our surfboards under our arms, we walked down to the beach. The sun shifted from behind a cloud, turning half the sky gold and I knew everything was going to be alright.
It was a weird summer and we all knew we’d never see another one like it. Everything went wrong, from dead birds to lost girls, and at times it’d seemed like a dark sky would fall down and suffocate us all. But the Earth kept spinning, the sun kept rising, I learned to surf, and Han and me worked things out. Life wasn’t perfect, but for the first time ever, I reckoned it was pretty close.
THE END.
AcknowledgementsI would like to thank the following people for their assistance:
My husband Jonathan Cann, for a multitude of reasons, none of which can be done justice in one sentence.
My daughter Amelie, for making me so happy, for sleeping so well, and for inspiring me to write this book in the first year of her life.
My literary agent Ben Illis, for his excellent editorial suggestions and a splendid lunch in Brighton.
Arts Council England, for the financial award which helped to fund the writing of this book.
Alicia, Geoff, Richard and Paul Glass, for so much fun and the happy memories of our holidays in Hayle.
Laura Ward, for teaching me to surf and for the stunning beachscape images on my website http://www.lisaglass.co.uk
My colleagues, the wonderful Book Foxes of the Vulpes Libris literary blog (including Moira Briggs, Hilary Ely, Kirsty McCluskey, Jackie Hixon, Anne Brooke, Eve Harvey, Nikki Poulton and Jay Benedict) for comradeship and good cheer.
My dear friend Rosy Barnes, for encouragement and tough talk when necessary.
Linda and Brian Gunningham, as well as Derek, Ian, Karen and Julie for introducing us to Hayle and allowing us to stay in their beautiful chalets.
The generous writers – including Luisa Plaja, Emily Gale, Trevor Byrne, M. G. Harris, Caroline Green, Rosy Barnes, Eve Harvey, Trilby Kent and Vanessa Curtis – who read this manuscript and provided such helpful feedback.
Kristin Becker for wisdom, calm and yoga.
Sharon Glass, Laura Glass, Zoe Forsyth, Vicky and Richard Boyes, Margaret and Steve Cann, Julie and Andrew Searle, Catherine Brealey, Rockie Foden, Sophia LeFort, Stevie Davies, Nigel Jenkins, Paul Blackie and Kate Neal for their support.
The people of Hayle, for continuing to welcome us to their gorgeous beach.
DedicationIn memory of my uncle, Brian Gunningham, who loved Hayle and who sadly died shortly before the publication of this novel.
Contents
Snake 2
Beach 2
Chapter 1 5
Chapter 2 11
Chapter 3 15
Chapter 4 18
Chapter 5 21