There’s a heaviness to the air, like our attraction is hanging between us. One of us needs to make a move on it, and if it has to be me, then I will.
The beach is empty, much like I expected it to be this time of night. We walk next to the shoreline, dipping our toes in the still-warm waters of the gulf.
“Do you worry about your brothers being cops?” I ask her, not yet having let go of her hand.
“Oh yeah.” She nods. “Every time we get a call about it being an officer when either one of them are on duty, I never feel okay until we get there and I see it’s not them. How about you?”
“Scares the shit out of me. Especially now that Ransom has a family. He got shot on duty a few years ago, and we were all worried. He and Stelle, they were dating but they didn’t let anyone in on the secret, because they were afraid if they broke up it would divide our friends group and families. Looking at them now, though, I don’t know how any of us didn’t see that they were together. He loves his wife and kid more than anything in this world. I know he’ll fight to come home to his family every night, but sometimes…” I shake my head. “Like we see the worst in people, ya know? More than anyone else, we know that some human beings don’t respect life. They give no shits that these other people have families to go home to. I worry a lot about Keegan growing up without a dad, Stella having to bury her husband. I think that’s why I stay so close. Stella’s got a brother, but there’s just a part of me that feels like no one would take care of them if something happened the way I would. I know how Ransom loves them. Maybe it’s weird…”
“No,” she answers. “I get it.”
We’re a bit quiet as we walk farther down the beach. She lets go of my hand and runs a little ahead of me so that we’re facing one another.
“You’re a good guy, Cutter.”
The moonlight is behind her, giving her a glow. She looks like a goddess bathed in the most sensual light I’ve ever seen. “Not so much right now,” I admit. “Not the way I’m thinking about you.”
“What would you say if I told you I’m thinking about you the same way?”
I lick my lips, letting my eyes drift down to hers. “Can’t be the way I’m thinking about you, sweetheart.”
“Yeah it can be,” she counters.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
My heart pounds and I clench my hands into fists at my sides. “Show me, Ro. Show me how you’re thinking of me.”
She reaches up, pulling the holder she has in her hair down, throwing it on the ground. The large mass of darkness I’ve wanted to see since the first moment I saw her is unleashed, and before I know it, she’s running to me.
I catch her in my arms, hands immediately going to her ass as she wraps her legs around my waist. Our lips attack one another, taking the kiss I’ve wanted for far too long. We fit together, our tongues jockeying for position. She’s small against me, so much smaller than I expected her to be.
Somehow I get us to the sand. “Wait, wait.” I break our mouths apart. “Let’s use the blanket.”
In a matter of seconds I have both it and her spread out before me. “Are you still okay with this?”
I’m worried that cooler heads will have prevailed and maybe she’s decided it was the moonlight and the chemistry between us that caused her to jump me. When she opens her arms to me again, I want to shout to the world how lucky I am.
My body covers hers, settling into the cradle of her thighs. Our mouths take one another, our tongues entwine, and our bodies rub together. I put one hand onto the blanket so I can lever myself up slightly from where I’m pressed against her. Her hand comes up to mine, holding onto my wrist, and she adjusts so that her neck opens up completely to me.
“Hmmm,” she moans when my tongue tastes the tendons of her throat. “God, Cutter.” Her words make my cock punch against the fabric of my shorts.
My other hand tips her chin, giving me more room to work against the flesh of her neck, her earlobes, and then partially down her chest. When I can’t breathe any longer, I lift up slightly on my knees, looking at my handiwork.
Her nipples are peaked against the fabric of her shirt. Reaching down, I palm her tits, brushing the peaks against my palms, then squeezing hard as I dare. We’re new to each other and I don’t know how she likes it yet.
Her arms go up, tangling in her hair, as she thrusts toward me. “Yes,” she moans.
Oh, so it’s like that, huh?
Reaching down, I grasp the edge of her tank top, pulling it down so that it’s just below where the edge of her bra is. White skin contrasts against a teal colored bra, edges of lace cup the globes I want so badly to get a look at.
“Please.” She thrusts up into my touch again.
Without hesitation, I pull the lace edges of the bra away from her skin, moaning when I see two tight peaks reaching up toward me, begging for attention. The moon gives off enough light that I can see they’re dark with desire.
Leaning down, I blow on one, chuckling when she makes a noise of frustration in her throat. She tangles her fingers into my hair, pulling me to where she wants me.
Complying with her unspoken demand is one of the best things I’ve ever done. I’m convinced of it. My tongue circles the bud, before I close my lips around it and suck.
“Harder!”
I’m great at taking direction, especially when a woman is telling me how to pleasure her. I use my teeth to slightly score the flesh before I bathe it in my saliva again, running my tongue around it.
Her hands press on my ass cheeks, and my cock finds right where it wants to be. Grinding against each other in the moonlight, we chase the pleasure we’ve both been denying between us for so long.
Chapter Fourteen
Rowan
Wild.
Uninhibited.
Selfish.
These are words I would never have used to describe myself before this moment, but right here with Cutter? I feel them all. Wild because I’m on a public beach, even if it is after the sun has gone down. Uninhibited because I’m moaning loudly, letting him know I love what he’s doing to my body. Selfish because I want this so much.
The old Rowan wouldn’t even be here right now, much less letting a man do these things to her.
“Don’t stop,” I beg, tilting my head back.
Moisture hits me on the forehead, once, twice. It takes me a few seconds to realize it’s raining. Cutter pulls back, his green eyes roving my face. He’s panting, the skin of his chest pressing against mine. “Do you want to go back to your apartment?”
I know myself well enough to realize how rare this moment truly is. As soon as we get up from here and we go back to my apartment, this will be over. I’m not ready for it to be over. We’re just getting started.
“No.” I grip his hair with my fingers. “Keep going.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve never been surer of anything in my entire life.”
Cutter is a man on a mission as he goes back to work on my body. His confident fingers take care of the shirt covering my torso, throwing it beside us. Those same fingers unbutton my shorts, shoving his hand in between the denim and the lace of my underwear. When he touches my clit, I scream.
“It’s been so, so long.” I grasp his hair tighter. “My God.” I grind against him. “Please let me come, please give me one that I don’t give myself.”
He adjusts himself so that he’s lying to the side of me. His mouth working the bare flesh of my breast, his fingers working the enflamed flesh between my thighs. I hold him tightly to me, almost like I’m afraid he’ll get up and leave me.
So much has left in my short time here on earth. Right now I want this for me. If I’m doomed to a life of living without my daughter, then at least give me this night to help me make it through. A memory I can cling to that doesn’t revolve around the worst night of my life.
Cutter is good at this, better than I gave him credit for. I can already feel myself
flying, but it’s so fast. I reach down, grabbing hold of his wrist, pressing it tightly to my core while at the same time trying to pull it away.
“Which do you want, baby?” He pulls away, voice deep with arousal.
Hearing him call me baby, God, I never thought I’d have anyone call me a pet name again. It flows right through me, sparking a longing that threatens to overtake me. It pushes the walls I’ve had built around my heart down and aside, allowing him to come over, under, or through them. I’ve not let anyone see who I am since the accident. Cutter is the only person who’s been strong enough to do what I’ve needed.
“I don’t know,” I pant, wanting him to take what he knows I need.
“Yes you do,” he encourages. “You know exactly what you want. Go for it. I’ll give you anything you need.”
And I know he will, if there’s one thing I’ve come to learn about this man - it’s he’ll do anything he can to make others happy. Making the decision, I grab his hand this time holding it tightly to the nub that needs him so much.
“Yes,” he praises. “Ride my hand baby, take whatever you need. Ride it.”
I press up into him wanting to do exactly as he wants me to. Spreading my legs, I give myself over to him. Finally, I let down my guard and trust him to give me what I need. It doesn’t take long until I’m there, body tightening, legs starting to close.
“You’re so wet.” Cutter nips at my tits again, using his teeth. The bite into my skin seems to be tethered to my pussy. Each time he nips, I feel a clench I haven’t felt in a long time. “So fucking wet. I know it won’t be tonight, but I can’t wait to get my cock inside this pussy. Can’t wait to press into you, feel you squeeze me. See you with your hair down and watch you ride me naked, full of confidence. You’ll grind these hips against me, won’t you? Press your clit down so I can make you feel good?”
I’m barreling head-first into the best orgasm of my life when he adds another finger to the mix between my thighs and the game is over. I come in a rush of wetness and emotions against his hand, my heart thumping a mile a minute and bright lights hiding my vision.
Cutter
Fuck, she’s beautiful when she comes. I wonder if anyone’s ever told her that. If I had my wits about me, I would, but she’s blown my damn mind. All I can think about is my cock pressing tightly against my shorts.
Withdrawing my hand from between her thighs, I moan when she makes a noise of disappointment. Falling flat on my back, I do my best to try and deal with what just happened between us.
Reaching down, I palm my cock, working to get it out of my shorts. Once it’s free of the zipper, I make a noise of relief.
She looks over at me, her hazel eyes smoldering an almost black, making it hard to see in the moonlight.
“Don’t worry about me; that was for you.”
“No.” She gives me a half-smile, coming up on her knees.
The Rowan I thought I knew has turned into a vixen. She grabs my length in her hand, using her palm to stroke it up and down. “This.” She looks down. “This is for me.”
I’m not prepared, not even a little bit when she leans over, taking me into her throat. An oath rips its way out of my chest, my hands go to her hair, guiding her up and down.
“Your mouth…” My eyes drift closed as I press up between her lips. “So wet, so fuckin’ warm, my God.”
Not to be an ass, but I’ve had my fair share of blow jobs. Being a football player will do that for you, but this one ranks right at the very top. I don’t know why, don’t want to dissect anything that’s going on right now between us, but I know she’s blowing my fucking mind.
“Can you take me deeper?” I whisper, holding onto the top of her head.
She glances up at me, my dick in her mouth, and nods.
Hottest. Thing. Ever.
In increments neither one of us can barely stand, I press between her lips, not wanting to overwhelm her, or myself. Honest to God, I’m already about to blow, and it’s beyond pitiful. Her gag reflex stops her when I get almost all the way in.
“Breathe through your nose,” I coach, punching my head back against the blanket when she listens and takes me deeper. “Fuck, Rowan.” I don’t know how I’m going to survive this, how I’m going to look at this woman in everyday situations and not see her how she is right now. A siren sucking my cock.
Just when I don’t think it can get any better, she speeds up, and I know it’s the end for me. Gripping her hair, I do my best to pull her back, but she refuses. She fights against me, obviously wanting what she wants, and who am I to stop her?
“Gonna come, gonna come, gonna come,” I warn her.
But she doesn’t stop, she doesn’t pull back. The only thing she does is work faster, harder, and that’s the end for me.
I come in a rush I haven’t felt since I was a teenager getting my first hand job. She takes it, swallowing it with an enthusiasm I didn’t expect. It’s just another thing that throws me off my game. Another surprise lurking behind the exterior of a woman who doesn’t know how to let her hair down.
She pulls back, wiping her mouth with her fingers.
“How many people know this about you,” I ask in a guttural voice.
“Know what?” She smirks.
“You know what. Who else knows how talented and passionate you are? Who else knows you’re a lady in the street and a freak between the sheets?”
She giggles loudly. “Nobody.”
I scrutinize her. She must be lying. Nobody hides that kind of talent. “Surely somebody.”
“Nope.” She lays next to me, sighing heavily. “I haven’t had anybody in my life for a long time, and the person I had before…” She stops, playing with a ring on her finger. “Let’s just say there was too much bad blood between us for me to want to do anything like that for him.”
Now I’m curious, but I know she has to come to me on her own.
“Well, regardless, thank you for letting me be the person you decided to give your gift to.”
She laughs again, while I reach over and grab her hand. The rain is still coming down, misting slightly and as we lay there looking at the stars, I can’t help but wonder if there’s ever been a more serene time in my life.
Chapter Fifteen
Cutter
“Why are you so happy today?”
Tucker’s voice is full of annoyance when he hears me whistling. We’re taking a drive through Paradise Lost, looking to see if there are any more places that need to be cleared. If all goes well, the LSERT will be packing up and moving out this weekend. I’m not sure how I feel about leaving Rowan, but I can’t deny I’m happy today.
More relaxed than I’ve been in what feels like years. “Just happy. What’s it to you? Don’t come raining on my happiness parade.”
“Sorry,” he sighs. “I miss the hell out of Karsyn. By this time they should have relieved us, but since we’re coming home this weekend, we’re staying longer than normal. It’s not something I really planned on.”
I kind of want to tell him no one plans on a hurricane, but I figure my opinion isn’t what he wants right now. “It’s funny.” I reach over, scratching Major. “When we came down here, I came because I didn’t have anything else going on. I didn’t have anything besides family to keep me tied to Laurel Springs. Now, I’m not sure I wanna go back,” I admit.
“She got to you that much?”
“She has.”
Especially last night, seeing her come out of her shell and being real with me? I wasn’t sure I’d ever see her like that. Now that I’ve had a little taste of it, I don’t want to give it up. More than anything I hope I’m the man she feels at ease with all the time.
“I get it.” Tucker looks over at me. “When I realized Karsyn was it for me, I would have done anything she asked to get her back.”
Chuckling, I lock eyes with him. “The difference between you and me is that I’m not stupid enough to let her go.”
“You don’t necessarily let th
em go, sometimes you have to let them fly. And when I say them, I mean us too, the ones who think we’ve done the wrong thing, or right thing, no matter how misguided it is. People are broken, Cutter. All of us are. I am, you are, she is. When we fly away broken, we come back whole, put together by the experiences we had. Everyone has a hill to climb, nothing in life is easy. You know that more than most, but one of the worst things you can do is assume letting someone go is stupid. It can be a necessity.”
Immediately I’m taken back to what she said about her and the other person who may have known about her oral skills. Them having bad blood. Could it be she’s broken, like Tucker said, and I’m just a piece of the glue she’s thinking about using to put herself back together again?
The thought leaves a bad taste in my mouth, if I’m being honest. I always told myself after what happened in Tuscaloosa, I wouldn’t be the person who hung around with one woman until I was sure I could see a life with her. Lord have I lived up to it. One-night stands, week-long flings - those have been the name of the game for me. If I were asked why Rowan seems different, I can’t name one thing. It would be everything.
Highly emotional meet-up? Oh yeah, the hurricane definitely moved things along.
Attraction? We’ve got that in spades.
Chemistry? Thinking about her right now is giving me wood.
But there’s something that makes the back of my neck itch. We don’t know much about each other on the inside. What we do seem to know is superficial. I get the feeling she holds parts of herself back, and it’s imperative I know what those parts are.
“I think I understand what you’re saying.” I rub Major’s head absent-mindedly.
“Do you?”
“She and I, we haven’t had the deep conversations, we’ve scratched the surface, but nothing has gone iceberg level.”
Cutter (Laurel Springs Emergency Response Team Book 4) Page 8