Reaching over to me, she grabs my hand, walking us out to the balcony. “I’m glad.” She turns around, a smirk on her face. “I wanted to spend your last night with you too.”
At least we’re on the same page. I follow her, noticing the sway of her hips, how they move back and forth with the intentional steps she’s taking.
“I called the hospital,” I tell her. “Mom and baby are doing just fine. I had to know. It didn’t look so good when we arrived and I worried she wouldn’t make it.”
“Women giving birth are a lot stronger than you give them credit for,” she laughs. “I know a thing or two about it.”
The beer seems to have loosened her lips slightly. “Do you now?” I wonder what she means.
“I do, but that’s a story for another time.”
It makes me wish we had all the time in the world, but as of now, we only have hours. We each have a seat when we get back out to the balcony.
“What do you want, Cutter?” she asks as we sit across from each other.
“You,” I answer truthfully. “But it’s not that simple. I want the real conversations. You know the ones that go into who we are as people and the shit we’ve been through. I want to know your darkest secrets and your dirtiest fantasies. Be the person you wake up to, and go to sleep at night beside.”
Rowan opens her mouth, but no words come out. She closes it, then lifts her bottle to her lips, taking a healthy drink.
“Too much?”
I can be a little much for some, and now I’m scared I’ve pushed her away.
“No.” She shakes her head, a smirk working its way across her mouth. “But how are we gonna do this? How are we gonna make it work?”
“Long distance. You come up to my apartment, I come down to yours, until we know for sure what we have. Eventually maybe one of us will change our address, you never know, but I want to explore time with you. I need to do it. I’ve never met anyone like you before.”
She gets up, walking across from me to lean against the railing of the balcony. “I’ve never met anyone like you before either. Do you think you can handle me?”
Answering her smirk with one of mine, I nod. “I’m more than sure I can handle you, babe. You’ll be putty in my hands.”
She giggles. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
“Big talk for a big man.”
“If only you knew how big.” I wink at her.
“Oh,” she laughs. “I got a good idea the other night on the beach.”
Our eyes lock in a stare of complete seriousness. It’s as if the two of us know we’re no longer playing. What’s going to happen will change the trajectory of our relationship. Once we go this far, we won’t be able to go back.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” She’s almost shy in her whisper, and I want to do nothing else but protect her. “I’m sure.”
Those are all the words I need to get up, walk across the balcony, and take what I’ve wanted to take for hours: her mouth.
The two of us kiss hungrily, growling and moaning, fucking with our tongues, teeth clashing. Our hands fight against one another as we go for each other’s clothing, trying to touch body parts hidden from anyone who might be able to see. I can’t recall ever needing a woman as badly as I need this one.
“You’re gonna ruin me,” I tell her as I pull away. “I’m gonna think about you all the time, won’t be able to get anything done. I’ll just think about these past days and wonder why in the hell we weren’t born in the same hometown so we can be near each other all the time.”
“Maybe because we had to go through a lot of shit to appreciate each other.”
Maybe she’s right, but I’m done talking. Capturing her lips with mine, I show her what I want to do with her body, thrusting in and out slowly, pushing her chin this way and that, making sure to get every inch of her mouth in my kiss. The mouth that took me so far down her throat and swallowed every bit of the release I gave her.
Pulling back, I have to let her know. My thumb comes up to her lips, pulling them apart. “I love this mouth. Took my cum like a pro and knows exactly how much pressure to give when you’re going down. I don’t think I’ll ever forget these lips, Ro.”
“Good,” she says before she takes my thumb in her mouth, circling her tongue around my nail, letting it go with a loud pop. “I want you to have something to think about when I’m not with you every day.”
“Trust me.” I shove my thumb back in, groaning when she circles it again. “You’ll never have to worry about that. Pretty sure I have your lips imprinted on my dick.”
Chapter Eighteen
Rowan
Glancing over at Cutter, I memorize his features. Unsure if we’ll be able to make the long-distance thing work. I’m willing to give it a shot. What I’m not willing to do is let him leave here tonight without having him. If it’s my only shot, I want to take it. Have to take it. It’ll be something I regret for the rest of my life if I don’t.
I already have enough regrets and what if’s. I can’t let this be another one. I’m standing against the railing of the balcony, smirking. He wants me, I can see it in his eyes, can tell by the way his body’s tightened, the tent at the crotch of his shorts.
Everything says he wants me, and I want him just as badly. He slowly walks over to me, a swagger I’ve rarely seen in real life. Never thought I’d see walking toward me on a warm moonlit night in September on the Alabama coast, that’s for damn sure. I grip the railing, using it to keep me from reaching out to him, and standing up.
“You’re fuckin’ beautiful.”
The smell of Bud Light on his breath is as intoxicating as the smell I’ve come to associate with him. A musky, woodsy scent that’s all man. Even if I didn’t see him, I’d know him anywhere.
“You’re not so bad yourself.” I swallow roughly as his palm comes up to the side of my face, pushing the escaped tendrils of hair out of the way.
“Can I do it?”
“Do what?” My eyes drop to his lips, hooded so that they’re only focused on the soft redness being pulled between his straight teeth.
“Take your hair down?”
“Yeah,” I move his hand up to where the clip holds the mass of my hair. “I trust you. Please.”
He’s careful, unbelievably careful when he reaches up and lets the clip go. The heavy mass falls down, past my shoulders, almost to my waist. Because of the weather today, it’s slightly curly. Cutter runs his fingers through it, combing it back from my face.
“It’s gorgeous.”
“I haven’t cut it in four years,” I admit.
“Why not?”
I don’t want to ruin this night, this moment. “I promise to tell you sometime soon, but not tonight. Tonight it’s about us.”
This answer seems to satisfy him. He tucks both hands against my scalp, palming it, using his forehead to tip my head back, and exposing my neck to his lips. Keeping my eyes open, I look at the sky, wondering if we’ll see the same stars when he’s gone. Can I sit out here on this balcony, talk to him on the phone or through FaceTime and look at the same blanket of darkness he’s looking at?
Yes, I decide. Yes, I can do this. Just because something isn’t going to be easy doesn’t mean I should give it up. Some things are meant to take longer, they’re sweeter when you finally reach the point where you can enjoy them.
His mouth is ravishing my neck, so hard I know I’m going to have marks tomorrow. I want them, I crave them. I hold him to me tightly, not wanting to let him go.
Eventually my thighs work around his waist, holding on as best I can as he dominates my body. His mouth has moved down my neck, to the top of my chest. His nose pushes the edges of my tank top away, and I’m not wearing a bra tonight. The warm night air cups my bare skin, making my nipples peak for him.
“Mmmm,” he moans when he sees my body react. “So tight.”
They are tight, I can feel them pulling against my flesh. “Please,”
I beg. “They need you, I need you.”
Doing this with Cutter is easy, easier than I thought it would be. Everyone told me, when it’s easy don’t let it go, but here I am - about to let him go. Running my hands down his neck, his back, and to his waist, I hold on tightly before dipping my fingers below the elastic band of his shorts. Cupping his ass, I hold him to me.
He lets my nipple go with a loud noise. “We should go inside. You deserve a comfortable bed.”
I shake my head. “But it’s not what I want, Cutter. I want wild, outside for the world to see, my hair sheltering us from prying eyes. I want everything I’ve never had before.”
He moans deep in his throat. “God, you’re perfect.”
I’ve never been called perfect before. For him I want to be. Perfect for him, that is, not for anyone else.
He moves his hands down to my ass, palming them and bringing me backward into him. When eventually he takes a seat on my deck lounger, I straddle his waist.
“We know you can ride my hand.” He smirks. “But can you ride my dick?”
I look down at him, admiring the way he’s laid out before me, mine for the taking. “It’s been a while, but I think I can remember how to do it.”
He pushes his head back against the cushion, as he situates himself a little better. “I have no doubt I can show you if you need a refresher course.”
“Do you have protection?” I ask him breathlessly. It’s been so many years since I even thought about doing this anything I may have had is probably expired.
He jostles me, reaching into his back pocket, taking out his wallet. “I do, but I’ve only got one, so we better make this last.”
There’s a part of me that knows this won’t last. We’ve been teasing each other for days and we’re both ready. Reaching down, I grab his cock in my hand, rubbing the length up and down.
“Fuck,” he hisses. “Don’t make me come before I even get inside you.”
The thought makes my nipples harden even further, to know I have as much control over this man as I do. I’ve never felt the heady possessiveness before. But with him, I know he’s mine. There’s no one else who’s ever made me feel the way he does.
Standing up, I push my shorts and panties down, before reaching over to grab the condom out of his hand.
“Oh no.” He pulls it out of my reach. “You put this on, and I sure as fuck won’t make it inside of you. Let me do it.”
I watch him with hungry eyes, taking in each experimental stroke he gives himself up and down. Reaching over with his free hand, he gently separates my thighs, using his pointer finger in a “come here” motion on my clit.
My knees almost give way as I feel and watch what he’s doing. I’m not sure I can stand any longer when I finally reach down, grab his wrist, and do my best to pull him away. He’s strong though, and resists for a split second longer.
“Put the rubber on and fuck me, Cutter.”
His eyes darken with desire from the words.
“Yes, ma’am.”
He does as I ask, pushing his shorts down, and pulling me over so that I’m straddling him again. There are no words as we get comfortable, before I reach back and grab his cock, holding it up as I slowly lower myself onto it.
“Goddamn,” he groans, rolling his head around on the cushion. “You’re so fuckin’ tight. I’m not sure I won’t blow three strokes into this.”
“Fuck, I hope not,” I admit, as I lower until he’s deeply seated inside me.
Watching porn, using your fingers, and sex toys only do so much. They aren’t red, hot-blooded male like Cutter and his dick. This right here is exactly what I’ve missed and as I start pushing up and coming down on his length, and I know it’s not going to take me long either.
Especially when he moves his hand to the juncture of my thighs, rubbing my clit as he pushes up into me. Leaning forward, I grab hold of the metal frame of the chair, using it to help me move.
“Ohhhh God,” I moan when he shoves me down and presses up, going even deeper inside me. “Keep going, please don’t stop.”
“I won’t.” He presses his feet onto the chair, holding me up against his knees as I grind down on him, circling his thumb with the movement of my hips.
Throwing my head back, I don’t even know what’s happening as my tits bounce up and down with the motion of his thrusts. This is on some other plane I’ve never been on, some place where passion and satisfaction are guaranteed.
“I don’t know how much longer I can hold off,” he moans, speeding up the motion of his thumb.
“Me neither,” I admit. “Stop holding back and go for it.”
That’s all he needs. We press, pull, thrust against each other like two teenagers doing it in the backseat of their parents’ car for the first time. Neither one of us take a moment to temper our moans and shouts, we don’t care about who can hear us, and as I feel him spill into the condom between us, it sends me over the edge.
The only thing I wish was different? That we hadn’t had the condom at all, because I have a feeling sex with nothing between us? It’s going to be even more mind-blowing than this was.
Chapter Nineteen
Cutter
“I have to go,” I remind her, whispering softly.
The breath I exhale disturbs the hair at her temple. The sun has risen into the sky, shining brightly through her window. We saw every hour last night, including the moon.
“I wish you didn’t.” She holds onto my waist tightly.
Her small voice kills me. It would hurt less if you filleted my chest open, exposing my heart. “I don’t want to, but I need to get back to Laurel Springs.”
Although I’m not sure what my life is going to be like there now. Thinking about the place I’ve loved since I was a kid doesn’t make me excited anymore. When I close my eyes it’s hard to imagine the streets in vivid colors and the people I love, like I’ve always been able to do. That color is now slightly muted, the voices of my family not as loud as they once were.
“I know.” She pulls herself from me, sitting cross-legged in the bed, not bothering to cover her form. The long hair I’ve wanted to see down flows over her chest, only separating where her upturned breasts force her nipples to peek through.
Reaching up, I flex my hand around her neck, pulling her mouth down to mine. It’s a chaste kiss, still full of possession, but acknowledging we don’t have the time either one of us wants. Bringing my forehead against hers, I close my eyes, inhaling her scent, hoping to imprint it on my skin. “Didn’t expect you,” I press the words out from between my lips. “Thought I was gonna come down here, do a job, and head back home.”
She giggles, but I can feel the wetness of a tear sliding between our cheeks. “When they told me the LSERT was coming, I was like shit, here we go. These people are gonna come here and try to tell us how to do our jobs. They’re gonna feel sorry for us and make us feel less than what we are. I didn’t expect you either.”
Forcing my hand between us, I use my thumb to swipe away the moisture from her face. “Please don’t cry for me,” I choke out. “Please. We’ll see each other again.”
“Will we? Will we make this work?”
“I want it to,” I say, the promise there in my voice. The most important promise I’ve ever made.
“Me too,” she answers. “But more than anything I don’t want to let you walk out of the door today.”
“I don’t either, but I’ve got to get the truck back and I have to report to work next week.”
“I get it.” She pulls her hair back, exposing herself to me. “We both have lives, mine will get back to normal quicker than I anticipate and yours has been going out without you.”
Those words are the truest anyone has ever said to me and it’s something I don’t think I realized. Life has been going on without me at home. While I’ve been down south trying to figure out how to help, my family has been going on as status quo. What is everyone going to be like when I get home? It’s been a
lmost two weeks, not like I’ve been gone for years, but the things I’ve seen here will stay with me forever. The hurricane, the aftermath, and meeting Rowan. This has all changed the trajectory of how I thought my life would progress.
“I wonder how much my nephew’s grown.”
Even though I saw him when I FaceTimed with Stella, it’s not seeing him in person. He always looks much bigger in person.
“Probably more than you ever thought he could.”
She’s got this far-off look in her eyes. One she gets a lot when we discuss Keegan. Even though I want to ask her about it, I don’t want to ruin what little time we have left this morning.
“You gonna text me?” I change the subject.
She smiles. “Only if you text me. Can’t expect me to make the first move. I’m not a loose woman.” She turns her torso away from me, bashfully hiding her face.
“Oh yeah?” I reach up, palming the underside of her breast. “Yet here you are, sitting here without a shirt one, showing me all your goods. You do that to everybody?” I tease.
“You know you’re the only one who’s seen my goods in a long time.”
It’s the last thing we have time for, but I have to leave here with her taste on my tongue. I need to immerse myself in her before I go. Pressing on her stomach, I push her back to the bed, nudging my way in between her thighs.
“We don’t have time, Cutter.”
Scooting down so that I’m on my stomach, my shoulders spreading her apart. “We always have time for this.”
I dive in, hoping to sate myself on the taste of her. I know I won’t be able to, but I can at least survive until we see each other again. At least that’s what I tell myself as I push my arms under her thighs, hook them over her hips, and spread her lips apart. Leaning in, I blow a breath to let her know I’m here, which causes her to reach down, threading her fingers through my hair, yanking on it roughly. Lifting my eyes, they meet hers as she watches me.
Cutter (Laurel Springs Emergency Response Team Book 4) Page 10