by Ivy Carter
I just shake my head letting more tears fall at the frustration and pain I alone detect lacing Jaxx’s voice. It shouldn’t have ended this way. Nothing should have turned out this way.
Jessa rips me around so that I am facing at her. She examines my face while wearing an angry mask upon hers.
More grunting and squeals erupt from behind the closed door. Jessa just peers at me as if she expects me to do something. But what can I do? I have given up everything. I have journeyed down a totally different path than I started walking in the first place. What more can I give up for everyone else?
“Why are you standing there crying like a fucking doormat? I thought you had moved past this poor me, letting everyone run all over me shit!” Jessa whisper shouts at me.
“I just wanted everyone to be happy! I didn’t know what else to do!” I tell her in a disgruntled voice.
“You need to give him his memories back. Hiding who he really is and what has really happened is wrong. I can hear the grief and frustration lacing his voice just as much as you can. He is hurting the same way you are. The only difference is that he doesn’t know why he is hurting. He is a good man, Ella. You both deserve better than all of these secrets and lies.” Jessa huffs out.
Looking at it that way… Maybe keeping these secrets is doing more damage than good. I do know one thing. I won’t revert to being anyone’s doormat.
“Jesus look at you. You are the Celios! You are supposed to lead US! Make a decision and stick with it. Or should we walk downstairs and ask my mate for permission?” Jessa looks at me with disgust. Like she can’t believe that this is me that she is looking at.
“You are so much more than you let yourself be, Ells!” She whisper yells while reaching out and grabbing me by the shoulders and giving me a slight shake.
During our whole conversation there still in the background is still the moaning and grunting. The headboard starts to bank harder on the wall and I finally break. I can’t stand the thought of him fucking her in the same bed where we had come so close to making love so many times. I can’t stand the thought that he thinks he belongs with her. When in reality this could all be someone’s idea of a sick game.
“Don’t be a martyr Ells.” Jess isn’t yelling or demanding now. She is practically begging me. She is right. I have been suffering in silence. I might have feelings for Tristan. That’s not going to change. What I am about to do isn’t going to change that. But Jaxx and I both deserve closure if nothing else. He also doesn’t deserve to be blind to the truth.
I nod at Jessa the start to mutter a spell that suddenly slithers into my mind.
Blind him not.
Cut him loose.
Clear away the lies.
Wipe away the false alibies.
Hold him not.
His sight is now clear.
Return to him what was wrongfully taken.
The truth now I command to awaken.
So I will it.
So mote it be.
Jessa’s eyes start to grow wider and wider as I continue saying the spell for the second time. My hair is whipping around by a nonexistent wind. I can feel that my eyes and skin have started to glow more than normal. On the third and final time of casting the spell, my feet are barely touching the ground. I have closed my eyes and focused all my will into making this spell work. That same invisible wind is now winding around me like a tornado.
Once I utter the last word everything goes silent and still. The wind is gone, and my skin and eyes have ceased their glowing. My gifts are returning to their normal levels.
Even the headboard in the bedroom has stopped banging. I lay my hand on the door as tears fill my eyes. I know he is now regaining his memories of me, of our time together. I would give anything to be the one to see them in his eyes and he regains them finally.
“Jaxx, what is wrong? Why did you stop?” Jess and I hear Selene squeal once again through the closed door.
“No. This is all wrong. Selene what are you doing in my bed? What has happened?” Jaxx sounds utterly befuddled and confused.
“Jaxx I don’t understand. Why are you pulling away from me? We are bound, you are my mate!” Selene keeps pleading.
“I wish I knew what he was doing to make her whine so much.” Jess whispers behind me.
I just shake my head. Maybe we should leave. This is obviously something private. He ceased to be my business when he bound himself to her. When he got her pregnant.
“Why did you do this to me, Selene?” Jaxx suddenly roars out sounding like a wounded bear. “We have been friends for years. This is how you repay our friendship?” He asks her still yelling.
“You are my mate. You have always been my mate. Why are you acting like this?” Selene pleads with him. “We are bound, I am pregnant with your child.”
“That is NOT my child! You are not my true mate. My true mate is the Celios. You have ruined everything. You and your father put this retched spell on me and have ruined everything that I hold dear! You have destroyed it all.” Jaxx whispers the last sentence.
“Jaxx, please…” Selene tries to plead again.
My tears are flowing unchecked now. My hand is fused to the closed door wishing that I could comfort him but also knowing that what we had is now gone. That I could never be with him now.
“Damn! I knew that bitch was shady. But to pin him as the daddy when he isn’t? That’s just a whole other level of fucked up!” Jessa mutters from behind me. I can picture her in my mind shaking her head with a pitying look on her face.
“What do I do now, Jess? What do I do now that he knows?” I ask in a choked whisper.
“You and Jaxx are going to have to talk it out, Ella. I know deep down you still love him. None of this is his fault. He had the whammy placed on him. He didn’t know what he was doing.” She stops speaking for a moment as if thinking over what she wants to say next. “If I were you…I would kick that lying bitch’s ass all the way back to her twisted black hearted clan.”
“And what do I do about Tristan?” I barely whisper.
“That depends on if you love him or not.” Jessa answers me in her standard straight forward manner.
“I could love him.” I tell her honestly.
“Well you don’t have to make any decisions right now. Besides we need to get out of here before Jaxx bounds through the door ready to search you out.” I just nod my head in agreement and start to step away. But I stop mid step when I hear what comes from the closed off room next.
“The Celios is a dirty bitch, she doesn’t deserve you. If she did, she would have fought for you. She bound us. Look at your wrist. She did this of her own free will. The stupid cross breed doesn’t even want you anymore.”
“Cross Breed?” I mouth to Jessa as she just shakes her head at the crazy wench’s ramblings.
“Only because of your lies. I will fix this, and you will pay for your crimes. Mark my words.” Jaxx tells Selene in a seething tone.
“I need to figure out a way to deal with Selene. Jaxx is right. She will be made to pay for her lies. All of them. But she lied to the daughter of a Goddess and that doesn’t go unpunished.” There is an air of power in my tone as I speak the words. Jessa’s eyes widen when we hear a rush of footsteps coming toward the closed door we are ease dropping behind.
We both simultaneously step back from the door when the knob begins to turn. I grab for Jessa’s hand at the exact moment she grasps on to mine.
“Get us out of here!” She tells me in a rushed whisper.
I will use to disappear. I close my eyes and picture the Bistro that we were originally going to go to. I feel the air slide against my face as the door is whipped open rather forcefully.
I open my tear stained eyes and see Jaxx’s horridly distraught face. Eyes of blue glass and ice. Still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Seeing them with their light returned retches at my heart. But I can’t have this conversation with him now. Not until I have come to some decisions of my own. Th
ings have changed. Hell, who am I kidding? Everything has changed.
“Ella! No stay, please!” Jaxx reaches for me grasping only air.
“I am sorry.” I whisper before I vanish completely from view. But before I am gone completely, I spy the pure look of hatred Selene is wearing upon her face.
Chapter 25.
“That bitch is going to come back to bite.” Jessa mutters once we land on the metal roof. It’s starting to get cooler outside now with the seasons fixing to change. I can feel the chill from the air on my skin. But I didn’t have the strength to carry us all the way into town to the coffee bar.
“I know.” I sob out. I am bent over resting my hands on my knees trying to quiet the retching sobs that are ripping their way up my throat. Jessa walks up behind me and tries to hug me from behind. But she slips on the slick roof and pulls me down with her. We both start to tumble, sliding down the side of the room. I quickly dissipate as soon as I am free of the roof and airborne. It was second nature to do this. I reappear on solid ground only to see that Jess has landed in a crouch and is giggling like mad to herself.
“I am so doing that shit daily. What a damn blast!” She tells me as she pushes herself up to a standing position. I can’t help but join her in her giggles until she looks behind me and her face suddenly becomes very somber.
What could it be now? Has Jaxx found us? I slowly turn around and see a very pissed Reaper standing behind me. His eyes are shooting black sparks.
“Tristan?” I ask tentatively.
“Why?” Tristan uses his mentalist powers and basically shouts the question into my mind.
“Dude, seriously…If you don’t stop shouting shit into my head, I am going to punch you in your throat!” Jessa groans as we both grab for our foreheads at the same time.
Tristan completely ignores Jessa. He just stands there in front of me looking stoic. His face is completely expressionless. I know what he is asking about. I know exactly what he wants to know. But I want him to ask me straight out. So I make him.
“You know exactly what I am asking you, Ella. Don’t lie to me. You promised no secrets. Well the surprise of Jaxx running around the cabin like a mad man yelling for his mate, while Selene follows in his wake in tears, that was definitely a surprise!” There is a seething undertone of hurt and frustration in his voice.
“Oh damn.” Jessa mutters from behind me. Thank you for the commentary. “I don’t think I should be here for this.” She tells the both of us a bit louder this time.
“No, you stay little Vampire. I know you are most likely the one that pushed her to do this. So, you will hear what I have to say as well.” Tristan points an angry finger at Jessa when she starts to step back and turn away. Most likely praying for a silent and quick getaway.
“Tristan, Jaxx deserved to know the truth. How would you feel if you were living a lie?” I ask him beseechingly. My eyes tearing up when I read the pain in his expression.
He ignores me totally and turns toward Jessa who has taken a step back. He reaches into the pocket of the black leather trench coat he is wearing and pulls out something wrapped in black velvet. Then he reaches into his other pocket with his free hand and pulls out an old tattered piece of paper. He steps totally around me and hands Jessa the two objects.
“These are the items that she said that was needed for the ritual.” Tristan tells Jessa when he hands her the black velvet pouch. Whatever is inside it makes a clinking sound when he hands it to her harder than needed. “This is a map to an area that still contains enough residual power that is needed for the summoning.”
Tristan steps back and turns to me for a split second then reaches up for something that is attached to his neck, tucked under the collar of his black t-shirt. He pulls out what looks like a very old golden locket and rips it off his neck. He tosses it to me. I barely catch it; I fumble with it for a second trying to make sure that I don’t drop whatever he has just decided to toss at me.
“I have waited centuries for you. You think that he is your Fated Mate, but you are wrong.”
“What?” I ask him in total bewilderment. But Tristan takes a step back and doesn’t answer my question.
“When you make your decision…You will know where to find me.” He tells me in an emotionless voice.
Right before his ever-present shadows engulf him he whispers out to Jessa.
“Take care of her.” Jessa simply nods but it’s for naught. Because Tristan is already gone.
“What the hell just happened?” I turn to ask Jessa. As I look down at the object in my hands. It’s a very large old golden locket. There are flowers etched into the precious metal. It is warm and shiny on the edges as if someone has rubbed it constantly for years.
“Are you going to open it?” Jessa asks me while looking at the locket that I keep staring at.
“I am scared at what I might find.” I tell her as she shoves the pouch and old piece of paper into her oversized tote bag.
“Just open it Ella. Stop being so scared!” Jessa shoves me playfully trying once again to lighten my mood. But I am stuck in morose. This has been one fucked up afternoon and I have a feeling that it’s just going to get worse once I unclasp this locket. I don’t even want to dwell on the fact that Tristan just left without word of when he will be returning. Does he really think that I am going to fall back into Jaxx’s arms after everything that he and I have shared?
I turn the locket so that it is facing upward and slowly opened it. Jessa has moved in closer to see what is inside as well. When I finally have it completely open I old folded piece of paper falls out into my hand. I am so distracted by the piece of paper sitting in my hand that I don’t notice what makes Jessa gasp, then curse out loud. I look up at her and question her with my eyes. But her eyes are glued to the locket.
I look down once more but this time at the large golden locket instead of the folded piece of paper. What I see inside leaves me stunned and speechless. There is very old painted miniature of a woman with striking green eyes and coal black hair. But that isn’t what is freaking me the fuck out. It is the fact that the woman doesn’t only share my coloring. She also shares my face. It is like looking at myself, if I were to dress in a renaissance costume.
Jessa breaks through my stunned disbelief when she is finally able to speak.
“Okay wench, I so don’t know what is going on here but that is some freaky ass shit right there!” She doesn’t have to tell me. I am freaking out enough for ten people right now.
I start to feel like I can’t breathe. But I can hear myself hyperventilating. It feels like there is a tennis ball stuck in my throat. I bend over grasping both the locket and the folded piece of paper, one in each hand. I clinch my eyes shut and wish I knew what all of this meant. I can feel Jessa’s hand touch my back, hear her asking if I am okay. But as soon as I wish for the meaning of the objects, I am currently holding I start to feel a pulling sensation. As if my soul is being sucked from my body by a giant vacuum.
When I am able to open my eyes, I can tell immediately that I am not in my own body. I can feel it as well as hear the thoughts of the person that I am invading. Not to mention this body feels aged and used. Nothing like the way I feel when I am in my own skin.
The person, which I think is female, looks down at a feather tipped quill that she has just dipped into an ink pot. There is an overwhelming sadness encompassing every emotion she is feeling. The hand holding the inked quill is covered in wrinkles. Then she begins to write. I gasp internally when I read along.
My Dearest Tristan,
It has been such a long time since I have laid eyes on your face. Yet I feel your ghostly presence each night when I am stuck in the in between place. Not quite asleep nor quite awake. I know that you still watch over me as you promised to do. I also know that you will stick to your promise. The last words that you ever spoke to me. That you would watch over me from afar. But that you would never again interfere with my life. I know that you wanted me to have a full
and happy life. For the most part, my love, I have. Just as you had wanted.
But there has always been a part of me that has cried out for you. To see your handsome face. To see your innocent smile while the black embers in your eyes burn just for me. We might not have been able to touch or become lovers. But we did indeed love. I know this because I would have forgone physical touch and spent all my days meeting you at our magical spot beside the river.
Oh, how I long for those days again. Especially during these long cold winter nights. I want to sit in the sun again amongst the tall grass, tracing the shadows of your palm. Pretending as if I could feel your touch. I know that you were telling me the truth when you said what we shared was impossible…
I have lived a full life. My husband has gone to ground now. My children that I bore the man that I married have married themselves and moved far from me. So, I am alone once more. Just like the young girl I once was when you first found me.
I can feel that my days here are drawing to a close. People would whisper and tell each other that I am crazy. That you can never really feel death’s breath on your cheek. But I can feel you moving closer and closer to me every day. I am not scared to move into the beyond. Not when I know it will be you that I see again. Not when I know it will be you to guide me into the great unknown. I am ready to leave this lonely existence behind.
I do not regret the decisions or my actions during this long life. But I am tired, so very tired. I find that I crave the sight of your burning eyes more and more here as of late. When I sleep tonight, I pray that you come to deliver me. I only wish that we could have spent much more time together in this lifetime.
But please remember one thing my dearest. I have loved you since the first time that you stole my breath away. I have continued to love you throughout the years of your absence. I will continue to love you after this life ends and into the next. You are my one true soul mate. I know that now, I can feel it in my bones. Remember me as I once was. Not this wrinkled crone that I have become. Time has ravaged this body. I would have you remember me as the beauty that once long ago made you smile.