by Holly Jaymes
“Will, how are you?” If Samantha caught his tone, she didn’t show it as she gave him a hug.
“Not bad, Sam. How about you?”
“I’m doing well.”
Just then the door opened and Mitch walked in. He stopped short when he saw Samantha. He looked at me and then Sam. “Hey, Sam.”
“Mitch, hi.”
Like Will, Mitch gave Samantha a hug.
“Gabe demolished Sam’s kitchen so she’s here for dinner,” Will explained.
“It’s good to see you again.” Mitch looked between me and Sam as if he was trying to gauge our relationship. I was working to keep a friendship distance between us so no one got any ideas.
“Is Nate coming?” Samantha asked.
“Yes. He’ll be here any moment. In the meantime, why don’t you get Sam a drink, Gabe? It’s nice out on the back porch.” My mother turned back to Sam. “Gabe fixed it up so I can enjoy it year-round.”
“He’s quite handy.” Samantha agreed. Then her face turned serious. “I was very sorry to hear about Mr. Sloane.”
My mother’s eyes watered. “Thank you. It’s been hard. It’s a reminder of how important it is to embrace the ones you love.” She looked at me and then Samantha and I had that oh shit feeling that she was seeing whatever Megan saw. But fortunately, she didn’t say anything.
Aside from the teasing, dinner went well. Samantha fit in as she had before, participating in conversations and willing to poke fun at my brothers as much as they poked at me or her.
“I heard Diana is doing the design,” my brother Will said after dinner as we sat back on the porch again.
I glared at him. He grinned, enjoying the chaos he was causing on my nerves.
“Yes. I’m using many local workers and services.”
“Is that weird?” Nate asked, clearly jumping on the let’s-cause-trouble-for-Gabe bandwagon.
I gave him my you-better-sleep-with-one-eye-open-because-I’m-coming-for-you stare.
“No,” Samantha said.
I looked at her, surprised but grateful, considering the first time Diana walked in the house, Samantha had murder in her eyes.
“We’ve compared notes on Gabe.”
I nearly did a spit take, and my brothers let out a loud laugh.
“God, I’d like to hear that,” Mitch said.
Was it possible to die of embarrassment? Samantha had to be joking. I’d worked so hard to keep Diana away from her.
“Now, boys, don’t tease your brother,” my mom said.
“What’s the verdict?” Nate asked.
“Oh well, don’t you know? What is discussed about men between women stays between women.”
Thank fuck.
“Oh, come on.” Will prodded.
“We’ve gotta go.” I stood. “We’ve got to be on site by five-thirty.”
“To think I couldn’t get you out of bed at seven,” my mother said, standing with me.
“That was for school, Mom. I didn’t like school. I like my job.” I kissed my mom on the cheek.
“No doubt,” Will said again, also standing and reaching a hand to Samantha to help her up. “If I worked with Sam, I’d enjoy it too.”
Nate snorted.
“Gabe would kick your ass if you worked with Sam,” Mitch said. He wasn’t wrong.
“He could try,” Will said. That was true too. I was strong, but I was pretty sure Will could kill me with his pinky finger using some strange pressure point he learned in the F.B.I.
I decided my best course of action was to ignore them and instead, lead Samantha out of the house.
We were in the car and heading up the street when I asked, “You and Diana haven’t really compared notes, have you?”
She laughed. “Worried?”
I shrugged and tried to act like I didn’t care, but deep down, there was something unsettling about two exes sharing their stories about me. “I just figured you’d want to avoid her.”
“I did, but that was childish. And no, we haven’t compared notes, although now that I’ve thought of it, it might be fun.”
Oh, hell no. “I promise you, your stories will be better and that might make Diana jealous.”
“The petty part of me likes that idea,” she said.
I rolled my eyes. “She might try to take it out on your house by painting it some hideous yellowish poop color.”
That wiped the smug look off of Samantha’s face. “Maybe I’ll wait until the house is done.”
She sat back in her seat and sighed. “I did enjoy dinner, Gabe. Some things never change, do they?”
“You mean my brothers are morons?”
She laughed. “They still like to tease you.”
“Yep.”
“And my being there made it easy for them. I’m sorry for that.”
I reached over and took her hand as I wove through the suburban streets of Northern Virginia. “I won’t say I like it, but I did enjoy having you there and I know my mom did too.”
“I can’t imagine how painful it was to lose your dad. For her and for you.” She squeezed my hand.
I swallowed back the pain. It was still weird to walk in the house and not see him sitting in his usual chair. Or to see his smile as he asked me about my work.
“I’ll be honest, Gabe, of all my kids, I worried about you the most. For a time, I was convinced you’d be living at home forever. And now look at you. You’ve got a TV show and a tool empire. I couldn’t be prouder,” my father said in one of the last conversations I’d had with him.
“It’s been rough for all of us, but for her the most.”
“It’s nice that you were able to bring the show up here.”
I nodded. “You were supposed to win a Vintage Makeover. But when I learned the winning home was up here, I asked for it.” I glanced at her to see her reaction.
“I wondered about that. I’m glad you convinced them.”
“You might have gotten your baroque paper with Vintage Makeover.”
She laughed. “Probably not. Wrong vintage.”
“You’re right. Maryanne is a stickler for authenticity,” I said of the other show’s host.
“What will you do when my house is done? Do you have to go back to Florida?”
I turned on to our street. I wondered if she was just making conversation or was curious about what might happen between us if I stayed. “I’ve negotiated to have the show here through the rest of my contract. My team has selected a house out west past Manassas for the next renovation, and it looks like we’ve got two more possibilities after that.”
“So, you’ll be around for a while?”
I pulled into the driveway and parked. “That’s the plan.” I looked at her, wondering what she thought of that. Would she be interested in extending this affair for as long as I was in the area? Was she thinking this thing between us could be more? Did I think it could be more?
She looked down at her hands playing with the strap of her purse. “That will be nice for your mom and brothers.”
But not for her? The fact that my heart felt like it fell to my feet suggested I was getting more emotionally involved than I should. Her looking down and focusing on how my staying would be good for my family instead of how she felt about my sticking around told me that she saw us as a short-term deal while I worked on her house. I needed to keep that in mind if I was going to come out of this with my heart intact.
Book 1: Chapter 11 Samantha—Don’t Break the Rules
Samantha
I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to agree to stay at Gabe’s while my kitchen and baths were being torn down. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to stay with him. The truth was, I was really enjoying being with him. It went without saying that the sex was great, but also, I enjoyed hanging out with him. It felt like old times. And therein lay the problem. I couldn’t let old emotions muddle the real deal of this relationship.
Four years ago, we were in love and planning a future. Today, this was just about s
ex and friendship. We’d both agreed to a no-strings-attached affair during this renovation.
So, even though I enjoyed spending time with his family again, and although he planned to stay in the area, I had to remember that this wasn’t the same as before. This wasn’t love and happily ever after. This was friends with benefits. In the end, as I looked at him next to me in bed, sinfully sexy as he slept, I couldn’t allow myself to get too attached to him. I couldn’t think about going to bed and waking up every day by his side.
But as the days went by, it got harder and harder to remember that this relationship had an end date. That I wasn’t supposed to feel anything beyond aroused by him. It was a nearly impossible task because everything about him drew me to him. I loved watching him work, and the attention to detail he gave everything he was doing or having done to my home.
“I try to imagine living in the home and what I’d like to have, not so much in décor, but in terms of how things work, the quality of work, and so on,” he’d said to me once when I mentioned that I noticed how much he seemed to be putting in the house.
His comment made a vision flash in my head of what it would be like if he lived in my house with me. I could see him tinkering on things in the home to make it perfect. Helping me decorate for the holidays or adding some new piece of art or décor. I quickly shook my head of the thought and chastised myself for going there.
He treated his staff well and I admired how he worked hard to find quality local professionals to do some of the work, especially up-and-coming ones, that he hoped to give a leg up. This included Diana, who, weirdly enough, I was getting along with. I didn’t like the familiarity with which she and Gabe interacted, and yet, I didn’t have a sense she was trying to seduce him either. It was hard to be annoyed at her when she spent her time in my house gushing about everything from the crown molding to the hidden features I hadn’t even seen, such as a hole in the dining room floor that once had a bell the owner of the home could press to let the butler know he was needed.
Once, I went shopping with her to find great furniture and decorations for my house. The filming crew went with us, and I was amazed at how she was able to see beauty and a vision in old discarded items.
“Often, just a little cleaning and fix-it can turn a piece of junk into an antique treasure,” she said when she found an old chest that to me looked better suited to be turned into kindling. I was curious to see how she’d fix it up and use it in my home.
After a full day working on the house, Gabe and I would have dinner at his place and then either go back to mine to work some more or watch TV. It all felt so domesticated and so good. Too good. Sometimes, when he was sleeping or painting, or hell, just being Gabe, I yearned so deeply for what we’d lost, my chest hurt. But then I’d remind myself how he’d messed that up.
I was no shrink, but I knew the fact that we hadn’t really talked about what had happened four years ago couldn’t be good. I guessed he didn’t want to bring up old wounds either. That, more than anything, was what I needed to remember when I began to feel like maybe we could make something together again. It was a feeling I was experiencing way too often now. He’d betrayed me once and never apologized or explained himself. In some ways, I had to wonder why I was allowing myself to even have an affair with him considering his history.
But when we were together, it was so easy to forget the last four years and instead, skip back to the time before it. That summer was perfect. We’d laughed and loved. I’d felt like our souls were connected and that nothing could ever ruin us. How wrong I was.
But as hard as I worked to keep my emotions in check, I was failing. I had the telltale signs of falling for him, from the flutters in my stomach to the fullness my heart felt when I watched him. I had visions of being with him in the house beyond this renovation, and on occasion, thoughts about what it would be like to fill the extra rooms with children. It was dangerous thinking that I needed to put the kibosh on.
I decided maybe some time away would help create a distance that could help me detach emotionally. Since school would be starting in another month, I thought now was as good of a time as any to start shopping for my classroom. That was the excuse I gave Gabe when I asked if I’d be missing anything important if I didn’t work with him on the house that day. It wasn’t a total lie. I would do some school shopping and planning. But I also texted Dean to see if he wanted to meet up for a late afternoon coffee or drink. I ignored the niggle of conscience that said I was cheating on Gabe. First, Gabe and I were just friends with benefits. Second, I wasn’t going to do anything with Dean except have a drink. Then why lie about it? I told my conscious to shut up and headed out the door.
In my car, away from my house and Gabe, I did feel lighter. Gabe had a pull on me that was undeniable. It had always been there from the first time I’d seen him in middle school. After high school, when we finally got together, my love for him grew fast and furious. At the time, I went with it, believing in fairytales and happily ever after. Why wouldn’t I? My parents had a great marriage. And love had a way of clouding the mind. Wasn’t there a saying about how love is blind?
But I’d learned the hard way that not every man had it in him to be faithful or was able to control their urges when tempted by another woman. I needed to remember that now, because even if Gabe stayed in the area, it didn’t mean he’d be true to me simply because we were living close to each other.
But good golly, how my heart yearned for that. How I wanted to let myself go and believe in love, believe in Gabe again. But I wouldn’t endure the pain and disappointment again. I had to find ways to keep my emotions in check. Which was why after buying a ton of stickers, index cards, hand sanitizer and tissues for my classroom, I walked into a bar along the Potomac River in Alexandria to meet Dean. He’d been there in the aftermath of seeing the woman walk out of Gabe’s condo and my subsequent ending the relationship. He was a rock. He would help me stay tethered to the real world and not allow my fantasies of a fairytale to get the best of me.
“Samantha. You look great.” Dean stood from the table he’d been sitting at and wrapped me up in a hug.
Angela was right. He looked fantastic in a suave Clooney way. “You look good too.”
He held the chair out for me to sit. “As I was sitting here, I realized that we weren’t old enough to drink when we dated. I don’t know what you like.” He held up a glass. “I hope you don’t mind, I ordered without you. Vodka tonic.”
I smiled. “I’m not too picky, but I’ll go with a white wine.”
He held up a finger to call the waitress and ordered a wine. “So, I hear your house is on Gabe’s show. How’d that come about?”
“He wanted to return to the area to be with his family after his father’s death and my house won a contest.”
“It’s like kismet.”
I frowned. No. Fate wasn’t at play here because that would suggest Gabe and I were destined to be together. We weren’t. I was relying on Dean to remind me of that, not to give me ideas that Gabe and I weren meant to be.
“You two still…?” he let his question hang.
“No. Well, not exactly.”
He arched a brow.
I laughed nervously. “We’re not in a relationship, but we are two consenting adults.”
“Ah, it’s just sex.”
“Exactly. I mean, you remember me after he and I broke up. I don’t want to go through that again.”
His brows furrowed. “Then why are you sleeping with him?”
I gave him a look.
“Okay, so that part is fun, but isn’t it dangerous, considering your past?”
“Yes, that’s why I’ve got you to keep my heart safe.” The waitress brought me my wine.
“I don’t know how I can do that, except perhaps to recommend you don’t sleep with him. Why are you doing that, considering your past?”
Again, I gave him a look. “I can’t seem to help myself.”
He snorted. “Women.”
“What?” I took offense to his tone.
He leaned forward, resting his forearm on the table. “Women like to say men are dogs, unable to control their urges. I believe that’s what you blame on happening with Gabe. And yet here you are, unable to control your urges when temptation strikes.” He gave a ffftttt sound as he sat back, but there was humor in his eyes.
He was right, of course, not that I’d tell him that. “I’m not cheating though. There is no other man in my life that Gabe is distracting me from. That’s the difference.”
“If you say so.” He took a drink. “Have you considered that you were both young and apart? Maybe this time it could be different.”
“I don’t want it to be different, that’s the point.” I glared at him. Why wasn’t he warning me away from Gabe?
He laughed. “You want your cake and to eat it too, I see. I find it’s usually better to avoid all temptation if you’re trying to control a bad habit.”
I took a sip of my wine, not liking that idea even though he was probably right.
“Although if he’s leaving again, you have a built-in end date. Does he plan to stay?”
“He says he’s here for the year. He wants to stay near his family right now.”
“I’d heard about his dad’s death through Nate. Tragic.”
“You’ve kept up with Nate?” Since Gabe’s brother was older than us by five years or so, this surprised me.
“I do patent law and Nate owns several drug patents.”
“Small world, huh?”
“It is.” His blue eyes sparkled. “I can’t believe you’re here. I’ve wondered about you since I got back.”
“Oh?” Although I was here to have Dean remind me to not fall for Gabe, I was glad we were heading down the path of a different conversation. “You didn’t wonder so much that you decided to call.”
He gave me a sheepish smile. “I know. I’m a coward. The thing is…I ran into Angela.”
I wondered if Angela orchestrated that run-in. “Oh.”
He nervously played with his glass. “She’s changed, hasn’t she?”