by Holly Jaymes
“Well, she needs the help more than I need to win at golf,” he said.
“Oh?” I took my stance and did a practice swing. Then I hit the ball up the fairway. Perfect.
“Yeah, she’s got a lot going on.” Parker stepped up to the tee and put his ball down.
“Everything going okay with her startup?” I asked.
“Yeah, I think so.” He did a practice swing and then hit the ball. It stayed straight enough but fell a few yards short of mine. “But with a baby coming she’s got a lot going on.”
I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and started up the fairway and then stopped short. “What?”
Parker put his club in his bag and put it over his shoulder. He then looked at me. “Ah, fuck. I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”
Everything inside me went cold. She told him not to tell me? It didn’t make sense. If he thought I got her pregnant, he’d be beating me with one of his clubs.
“Listen, you can’t tell anyone. She’s not ready to have people know yet. She hasn’t even told the father yet.”
I felt physically sick but worked to keep my composure. “That doesn’t sound like Hope.” But clearly, I didn’t know her. It didn’t seem possible that someone else was the father, so why didn’t she tell me?
“She says she wants to get settled and her life sorted. Apparently, he’ll step up, but for some reason, she hasn’t wanted to tell him.”
I knew why. She thought I was a slacker. She didn't think I was good enough to be a father. Or maybe she was biding her time and then would come at me for money.
“Don’t tell anyone, okay. Hope would kill me if she knew I’d squealed on her.”
I didn’t say anything as we reached Parker’s ball in the fairway. Instead, I tried to keep my emotions together as we worked our way through the last twelve holes. I shanked many of my shots and missed easy putts as my anger rose during my game.
“I thought you weren’t going to let me win?” Parker said as we loaded our clubs up in each of our cars.
“I was feeling sorry for you,” I said, hoping I sounded lighthearted. Inside, my heart was hard and dark.
“I wish you’d feel that more often,” he laughed.
“Listen, maybe I should show Hope the website now so she can give me some feedback. Is she home? Can you give me her new address?”
“Yeah, sure. I’m sure she’d love it. Just don’t mention anything about the baby.” Parker gave me Hope’s new address.
“Thanks.” As I drove to her new location, my mind was in a whirl. Should I give her a chance to tell me about the baby and not think she’s purposefully hiding it from me? Or should I confront her first thing? She's having my baby, and she didn’t fucking tell me. A powerful wave of emotion swept through me, and I had to pull over. Jesus, I was going to be a father.
I slammed my hand on the steering wheel, pissed at Hope, but even more so at myself. How had I so royally fucked up again? Why couldn’t I pick a woman who was honest and decent, and who valued me beyond my money? Never in a million years would I have guessed that Hope would betray me like this. This time I wouldn’t walk away, at least not from my child.
I put my SUV in gear and finished the drive to her house. I sat in my car a little bit longer, reining in my anger. I wouldn’t hurt her, but I didn’t want to scare her with how pissed off I was either.
I made my up the tidy walk and knocked on the door.
“Mitch?” she said when she opened it. There was surprise and something else in her eyes.
“Hope.”
“Parker said you might stop by. He said you had a surprise for me.”
I nodded, biting the inside of my mouth to keep from letting loose the anger I had right on her front stoop.
She opened the door to let me in. “I don’t have any beer or wine. I have water.”
Right, because pregnant women don’t drink. I let my gaze drift down to her belly. It didn’t look different, but I supposed it was still early.
“Water,” I finally said.
She stared up at me like she was trying to figure me out. No doubt she could note a difference in my demeanor.
“Come into the kitchen.” She led the way through her living room to a kitchen. There were boxes along the wall of each. “I haven’t finished unpacking yet.” She motioned for me to sit at the table, but I had too much pent-up energy to sit, so I leaned against the entry into the kitchen.
“How’s the business?” I asked as she got me a glass of water.
“Good. My loan came through. I’ve got my samples, and I’ve made appointments to meet with buyers and retailers.”
I nodded. “Everything else good?”
She handed me the water, and again, she looked up at me like she was trying to figure me out. “Yes.”
Fuck. I was giving her every opportunity to tell me about the baby, and she wasn’t taking it.
“The baby?”
She gasped and stepped back. “What?”
I continued to lean against the kitchen entryway wall, but I wanted to rage. “The baby. How is the baby?”
“Parker told you?”
I nodded. “He let it slip. The question is, why didn’t you tell me? What the fuck, Hope?”
“Mitch, I’m sorry.”
“What’s wrong with me that I choose women who want to shit all over me, huh? Am I not good enough for you?”
“No Mitch, that’s not it at all. I just—”
“It’s the money, right? Did you plan this all out?”
“What?” Hope jerked back.
“Did you plan to get stuck on the road and end up at my place?”
“No, my car broke down, you know that.”
“But when you realized I was there, you saw your chance, didn’t you? Maybe Mitch can fund my business or save my parents.”
“No.”
“With a baby, he’ll have to pay.”
Her eyes flashed with anger at my insinuation.
“You put the condom on that day. Did you somehow tamper with it? Was it your plan to get pregnant all the long to secure your financial future now that your folks were broke?”
Her hand came hard across my face. “You bastard.”
“Me? Are you kidding me? You’ve fucking ripped my heart out, Hope.”
Her expression morphed from anger to guilt. “Mitch, let me explain.”
“No.” I shoved the glass of water back at her. “I’m done. I came by hoping you’d tell me, but clearly, that wasn’t going to happen.”
“I was going to tell you,”
“When you needed money?” I looked around. “This is a nice place you’ve got.”
“Mitch.”
“I stand by what I said before. I expect to be involved in raising it and will provide for you both. You win.” I scoffed. “I thought Gwen fucked me over, but at least I came out free and clear. You played the game better than her.”
I turned to leave.
“Mitch, it’s not like that.”
I waved my hand telling her I didn’t want to hear it.
“I loved you,” she said as I reached the door.
I looked over my shoulder. “Funny, I loved you too.” I walked down the steps telling myself I wasn’t going to be swayed by desperate attempts. Gwen had told me she loved me, too, when she begged me to give her another chance.
“Mitch, please.” She followed me out the door. “Please let’s talk.”
I shook my head and opened the door to my SUV. “I don’t trust my judgment,” I said to her. “I can’t believe anything you say.” I got into my vehicle and slammed the door.
She came up to the window, tears were streaming down her face, and my heart ached to believe her, to comfort her. But I’d been screwed in the past. I wasn’t going to let it happen again.
I turned on the engine and waited for her to step before I pulled out of my parking spot and drove away. I’d made it about a mile before I had to pull over and get out of the SUV. I was sure I looked
like a raving lunatic as I paced along the side of the road, trying to get my emotions under control. I wanted to go back and hash it out with her, but I didn’t want to end up giving in. I didn't want to have her succeed in duping me like others I’d trusted had before.
Finally, I felt calm enough to return home. I’d considered staying at Gabe’s that night since Sunday dinner was the next day, but knew I wouldn’t be good company. So I headed back up the mountain.
Book 3: Chapter 21—I Messed Up
I Messed Up
Hope
My world had just ended. At least that’s what it felt like. Guilt brought me to my knees. Anguish crushed my heart. He had every right to be angry. He felt betrayed, and my words were too little too late. Any chance we might have had to be together was gone.
Why had Parker told him? I wanted to throttle him and yet I knew all the blame was mine. I’d kept the pregnancy from Mitch for too long. Why hadn’t I told him sooner? My reasoning didn’t seem nearly as sensible now as it had at the time.
But even as I felt guilt, I was angry too. Did he really think I was after his money all the long? He accused me of sabotaging a condom to get pregnant as a means to get his money. He couldn’t really believe that, could he? Clearly, he did, otherwise why say it.
While it made sense that he’d be more suspicious about people considering what Gwen and his partner had done, I wasn’t them. I wasn’t the type of person who’d do that and the fact that he thought I was proved that we weren’t compatible. Not telling about our baby right wasn’t the same type of betrayal, was it?
The question now was, what was I going to do? He said he’d take care of the baby and me. My sense was he’d love the child, but any support he gave me would obligatory. Would he sue for custody? He had rights, of course, and I would honor them. But would he punish me by trying to take my child? Mitch didn’t strike me as that sort of man, but he’d been so angry. He had the means and time to raise a child while I was going to be busy working to build a business. Could he convince a judge that his situation was better for a child, especially if he thought I had gotten pregnant on purpose to trap him? Why hadn’t I handled this differently?
Alone in my townhome, I was paralyzed by my emotions. I couldn’t figure out what to do. I needed to ask Parker what happened. Why had he betrayed my confidence, to Mitch of all people? The fact that Parker hadn’t yet shown up at my place equally upset indicated Mitch hadn’t given away that he was my baby’s father to him. Did that mean he still didn’t want Parker to know about us? No. He said he was going to take care of the baby, which meant Parker would find out soon enough. Cripes, would Parker feel betrayed by me too?
What to do? A part of me felt like I should go see Mitch and try to talk to him. Even if he continued to hate me, we did have a baby coming, and we needed to make a plan. But he’d been so angry and hurtful. I didn’t think he’d strike out at me like I did to him, but I wasn’t in a place to hear him accuse me of trapping him for money. I didn’t have the emotional energy to withstand or defend myself from it.
Maybe I should talk to Parker first? He was a great brother, but once he realized Mitch was the father, would he be able to be so objective in his support and advice? What a mess.
Ultimately, I decided to go to bed. I was emotionally wrought, and I determined a good night sleep would give me the rest I’d need to have more clarity about my situation in the morning.
Unfortunately, I was wrong. The next morning, I felt as conflicted and confused as I had the night before. The day was going to be even more stressful since today was Sunday and I was supposed to have dinner at my parents. I wasn’t ready to share what had happened with Mitch, and I was sure I wouldn't be able to hide it. Then again, if I couldn’t tell my parents, who could I tell? I’m not sure they’d feel betrayed by Mitch as Parker might.
That evening I arrived at my parents’ house early so that I could talk to them while Parker wasn’t there.
“Hope, honey. Is everything alright? Is the baby okay?” My mother said when she saw me. Mom had always had a way of knowing when something was wrong with one of her children. Would I have that same superpower when my baby came?
“I need to talk to you.” I felt the tears coming but fought them. I didn’t want to be blubbering.
“Yes, of course, honey.” She led me to the kitchen. “Let me make you some tea. It’s decaffeinated.”
“Thank you.”
“What’s going on?” My father said, entering the kitchen. He frowned when he saw me. “Is something wrong?”
“I need to talk to you both about something.”
My dad glanced at my mom who shrugged in what I guessed was their silent language; him asking her what this was about and her saying she didn’t know. It was the type of intimacy and closeness I would have liked to have had with Mitch, but any chance of that was lost to me forever.
My dad sat at the table while my mom stuck a tea bag in hot water and brought it to me.
“Thank you,” I said as I wrapped both hands around the pretty little china cup. It wasn’t cold out and yet, I felt cold inside.
“What’s going on Hope?” My mom prompted.
I looked up at her. “The father of my baby found out about before I had a chance to tell him. He’s furious at me.”
“So just tell him you needed time and were going to eventually?” my father said.
My mother made a face like she understood the issue. “If you found out through the grapevine that I was pregnant, you’d feel betrayed, wouldn’t you?” she asked my father.
He shrugged. “I know you and would think you had a good reason. He should know Hope enough to trust her.” Then he frowned. “You do know something about him, don’t you?”
I nodded. “Yes. But…” How did I explain all this to them? “He’s been betrayed in the past. He thinks I might have trapped him on purpose for his money for my business or to help you.”
My father flinched at the mention of his own financial troubles. “So, tell him otherwise.” They frowned. “How does he know about us?”
I took a deep breath. “The baby’s father is Mitch.”
My father’s face was blank for a minute.
My mother’s brows shot up to her hairline. “Does Parker know?” At least she got how this could be even more messed up than it already was.
I shook my head. “Parker is the one that let it slip to Mitch that I was pregnant. He came over afterward and was so angry at me.”
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” My father’s hackles rose.
“Not physically. Actually, I slapped him when he suggested I’d trapped him.”
There was silence around the table. The only sound was the shutting of a car door and the engine starting outside.
“I don’t know how to fix things with Mitch or how Parker will take this,” I said, hoping my parents had a good solution for me, yet knowing there wasn’t likely one to be had.
“By fix, do you mean you’re in love with him or just to get along for the baby sake?” my mother asked.
I bit my lower lip. “I love him.”
“Then why didn’t you tell him?” my father’s expression showed bafflement.
“Because at the time I felt it, he said he was a committed bachelor after what had happened with his fiancé. He also didn’t want Parker to know about us. I figured there was no future and I didn’t want to tell him and then have him have to tell me he didn’t feel the same.”
“A man who’s pissed off about being betrayed is betraying his best friend?” My father pursed his lips at the hypocrisy.
I couldn’t disagree.
My mother reached out and took my hand. “Does he plan to be involved with the baby?”
I nodded. “Yes, he said he’d take care of us.”
“Then you have time to help him see the truth. He’ll learn that you were confused and didn’t have some nefarious plan,” my mother said. “Maybe it will work out between you two, but if it doesn’t, you
both need to get along for the baby’s sake.”
“Yes, I know.” I hoped we could get to that point. “What about Parker? Do you think he’ll be upset?”
My mother looked at my father for a moment. She turned back to me. “Probably, but he’ll get over it. He loves you, Hope.”
“What about Mitch? I don’t want to ruin their friendship.”
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you…” my father didn’t finish his word sentence.
My mother shot my father a look. “It’s a bit awkward, but Hope and Mitch have been friends too. She shouldn’t have to live her life based on Parker’s feelings.” She turned to me. “Parker may feel like your father does, but he’ll come around.” She tilted her head. “Do you think Mitch cares about you like you care for him?”
I swallowed. “I thought he cared. When I tried to tell him that I loved him, he said that he had loved me too.” That was the part that really had me in knots. Had I told him about the baby sooner, would we have worked things out and been a real couple? He’d never said anything that indicated he loved me before, but then again, I hadn’t told him how I was really feeling either. Chances were, he thought I was indifferent to him because I worked so hard to avoid him.
“So, what’s the problem?” my father asked.
“He used the past tense. And you should have seen him. He was so angry and hurt. I hate that I hurt him.” That’s when I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, and I started to weep.
My mother rose from her chair and wrapped her arms around me. “It’s hard now, but it will get better. Mitch will calm down, and you two will do what’s best for the baby. Your dad and I will be here for you, no matter what.”
“What about Parker?” I asked.
“Parker will be too,” she said.
“Speaking of Parker, where is he? He said he’d help me deconstruct some of the furniture in the office,” my father said looking at his watch.
“I’m sure he’ll be here any minute,” my mother said, wiping my tears away.
“He was supposed to be here early,” my father said, his voice sounding agitated.
“Why are you worried about that now?” my mother chastised him.