When he returned, Abigail had a steaming mug of coffee as well as two peanut butter cookies waiting for him. Where had they come from? Had Elsie brought them? He sat at the chair nearest to them.
Abigail parked so she faced him and set her brakes.
Levi reached for the coffee mug, then hesitated and reached for her hand instead. “I’m sorry for abandoning you last night. I should’ve been available in case you needed me.”
Abigail wrinkled her nose. “You were here. If I’d needed you, all I would’ve needed to do was call you and you would’ve come, right?”
“In a heartbeat. But…I thought that was why you were frustrated with me. Is it because I…” He pulled in a deep breath. “I kissed Elsie?”
Abigail sighed. “I never expected you to kiss and tell. No.”
Levi gently squeezed her hand, then released it. “You’re confusing me, Abigail. What did I do? How can I fix it?”
Abigail sucked in a noisy breath. “There might be this guy that might ask me out, and if he does, I want to go.” The words tumbled over each other in a rush.
Levi blinked twice and gaped at her. “There might be?” And Elsie had said to let her dream. Did she know?
“There might be.” Abigail’s cheeks reddened.
“And his name might be Noah Miller?” Oh, this hurt.
The red deepened. “It might be.”
Levi forced himself to breathe. “Why do you think he might ask you out?” Although the man had flirted with Abigail when he was here.
Abigail looked away.
Oh. It was wishful thinking. Levi tried to think of appropriate words of comfort, but it was hard, especially when he wanted to shout in relief.
Tears glistened in his sister’s eyes when she looked at him again. “Because ever since the accident, he’s been coming by occasionally to talk to me. Because he said he’d like to take me out. If you agreed to let him.”
Levi blinked. Never in a thousand years had he expected that. Noah had been calling on Abigail for the past year and a half and Levi was just now hearing about it?
Elsie had said to let Abigail dream—did that mean she’d known? She must’ve. Why hadn’t she warned him? It would have been nice not to be so blindsided.
And this was why Abigail had been fixing his favorite foods? To soften him up so she could go out with a man? And not just any man, but Elsie’s brother?
Oh, this was bad. Very, very bad.
For a half second, he was tempted to get up, find Elsie—who was probably spying—and have a chat with her. One that might involve him lashing out irrationally at her like she had with him right before they broke up, but he forced himself to sit still. It was best to think before he said anything. And sometimes it was best just to keep thinking and say nothing at all.
“Please? If he asks?” Tears beaded on Abigail’s lashes.
Levi gulped. Oh, Noah would ask. He’d already asked Abigail to okay it with Levi. Which meant either Noah was a coward and afraid to ask Levi—which didn’t fit—or Abigail was afraid of his reaction.
That saddened him. He’d do anything for her. Well…almost anything.
Levi forced himself to breathe. Deep, cleansing breaths. Then, to give himself time to calm down a little more, he reached for his coffee and took a long drink. He returned the mug to the table.
The tears on her lashes spilled over. Just a couple, but it broke his heart more. He shut his eyes for a moment, then opened them. “Jah. If he asks, and if you want, he can take you out.”
And Levi would try not to terrorize Noah before the date with the “daed talk.” He’d been scared spitless when Elsie’s daed had it with him.
Abigail squealed and somehow—he wasn’t quite sure how—launched herself out of the wheelchair, took two or three stumbling steps forward, and threw herself into his arms. Then she clung to him, laughing and crying. At the same time.
His throat burned. “Ich liebe dich, Abigail.”
“And I, you.” She wobbled and clung tighter. “Help me back to my chair.”
Levi adjusted his grip and eased to his feet; then he held on as he slowly backed her up enough to sit. He crouched in front of her. “Abigail, you walked.” He felt a twinge of hope that someday she could live her life the way she had…before.
She cried harder. “Just a couple steps.”
“You have to start somewhere.” And that was true for himself as well, with those circus train orders. He had to do something, other than stress over them. “Even two steps is progress.”
She reached for a paper napkin and blew her nose as his stomach rumbled. She giggled. “Get Elsie and we can get the noon meal ready.”
He glanced at the table covered with candies, cookies, and baking supplies but nodded and went into the other room, fully expecting Elsie to be darting for the loft ladder after eavesdropping on their conversation. She wasn’t. Nor did he see her in the short hallway when he peeked. He climbed up into the loft, and there was Elsie, sitting cross-legged on the floor, stacks of papers spread out around her and another pile in her lap. She’d been here awhile. Working. Not eavesdropping.
But then, why would she need to eavesdrop? She’d known her brother planned to ask his sister out. He stepped closer to her and sighed. “Why didn’t you warn me?” He tried to keep his voice calm. Quiet.
Elsie glanced up with a frown. “About what?”
“Your brother and my sister.”
Her frown deepened. “That she likes him? I didn’t know until this morning, the same time you found out. Is that a problem?”
“It might be. Did you know he’s been calling on her? That he’s been talking about asking her out?”
Elsie blinked. “No, I didn’t. I thought he was seeing someone, but I never dreamed…” She put the stack of papers down and stood. “Is it a problem because of us?”
He used to be able to read every emotion on her face. He wasn’t sure he could anymore, but he was as certain as he could be she was telling the truth. She hadn’t known. Relief filled him. “No. Jah. I don’t know. Maybe. If only there was some way for me to keep an eye on them when he takes her out,” he said.
“I don’t understand why you think you need to, but there is. We—”
“No! I won’t go on a double date with you and them.” He’d want to be alone with Elsie, making out under the stars at Hidden Springs. His body warmed. Inappropriate thoughts, those.
“Of course not.” She gave a little laugh, one that sounded bitter. “We both know how you feel about me.”
“You know?” His breath strangled. But then of course—he’d flat out told her.
“You’ve made it plain. You may want to kiss me, but you can’t stand to be around me.” Her smile was sad looking. Resigned.
How could she be so wrong? But it was a hedge of protection for both of their hearts.
“But it’s okay because I…” She hesitated. “I, um, never mind.” She looked away as if she felt guilty.
She what? Didn’t love him anymore? He knew that. But why would she feel guilty for that?
Elsie pulled in a breath. “No. Not a double date. I was thinking a taffy pull. Here, at your house. I’ll organize the whole thing. That way you’ll be here.”
“In the barn. Working.” Since he had a deadline. And even if he didn’t, he couldn’t risk letting his feelings be known to everyone who might attend. Couldn’t risk the intrusion and matchmaking and endless questions…
“I kind of thought in the house. Chaperoning.” Her hand landed on her hip and she jutted it out.
Impossible. His focus would be completely on Elsie. Like it was now. But against his better judgment, he nodded. “Ask Abigail if she wants one.” She would. That was painfully obvious. He needed to change the subject before he lost control of his severely frayed good sense and kissed Elsie. Again. A dish clattered downstairs. And that reminded him…“I, uh, was sent to ask you to help her get the noon meal ready.” Abigail clearly needed help, which was why she s
houldn’t date until she had improved more.
“It was great talking to you, Levi.” Elsie’s smile looked real.
“Jah. It was.” Except, now he had other methods of communication on his mind. He forced himself to slightly turn away before he touched her soft cheek. Kissed her sweet lips. Lord, help. He caught his breath. “I’ll be in the barn. Call me.”
“No. You call me.” And she winked.
Maybe he imagined the flirty tone. Or maybe not.
When he added in the wink…definitely not.
But he fled before he answered her call and got them both into trouble.
* * *
Elsie chastised herself for teasing him as she followed him downstairs and into the kitchen. She’d have to ask Noah to shoot down some mistletoe to hang in Abigail’s kitchen. But that might encourage Noah to take advantage of it, and Levi would be sure to have a meltdown if he witnessed that.
Noah and Abigail.
It was so sweet!
One of the Millers should have a happily ever after with the Wyses, and if it couldn’t be her, then it should be Noah.
It’d be better if it were both of them. But she needed to focus on helping them heal. Not on flirting. It was just that flirting came naturally when she interacted with Levi.
She still loved Levi Wyse.
She always would. Always and forever. A woman never got over her first love.
Chapter 12
Levi didn’t make much progress. In fact, it seemed he’d barely finished cutting the wood into the beginning shape of a train’s boxcar when the dinner bell clanged.
For a moment, disappointment filled him. He’d hoped Elsie would make the trip out to the barn to tease his senses with peppermint when she called him in. But it was better this way. He needed to keep his distance from her if he wanted to keep his infatuation with her somewhat managed. Not to mention his traitorous heart that never stopped loving her. It probably never would.
He quickly put his tools away even though he planned to return, turned off the heater that had barely affected the bitterly cold temperatures, flicked off the lights, and strode to the house.
The kitchen was empty when he arrived, but the table was cleaned off and set, and a delicious scent filled the air—and it wasn’t peppermint. He grabbed pot holders and opened the oven. Meatloaf and scalloped potatoes. Mixed vegetables simmered on the stove.
And Abigail’s wonderful soft pretzels, covered with butter and sea salt, waited on the counter.
His stomach rumbled.
“I’ll get the food ready to be served, if you want to wash up,” Elsie said as the scent of peppermint enveloped him. It sounded—and smelled—as if she was standing right behind him.
He slowly turned.
She was definitely close enough that he could reach out and touch her. If he wanted. And he wanted to. Very, very badly.
“Where’s Abigail?” His voice shook.
Elsie gestured toward the pantry. “Packing up some peppermint patties and peanut butter cookies for me to take home. I told her we didn’t need them, but she insisted. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and all that.”
Levi frowned. “I’ve heard that quote before, but I’m not sure how true it is. That’s rather…” He hesitated, searching for the correct word. He couldn’t find it. He shrugged. “Sexist? Judgmental? Biased? I think there’s a lot more involved than food.”
“Like what? Beauty? Sex appeal?” She took the pot holders from him and stepped around him to the still-open oven. “Peppermint?” Her tone turned flirty.
He turned to watch her. “Um, friendship. Common interests. Attraction that isn’t necessarily based on looks but maybe personality.”
“And me?” She lifted the meatloaf out. “Why were you attracted to me initially? Not now.” The scalloped potatoes joined the meatloaf on the counter. She shut the oven door.
“All of the above and more. You completed me. I felt like part of me was missing when we were apart.” He still did.
She turned to face him and silently studied him.
He shifted and averted his gaze. He couldn’t let her see—
She took two steps forward and wrapped her arms around him. Her softness pressed against him as she hugged him. He gasped for air and stiffened to keep from gathering her closer and kissing her the way he had last night. She stretched up and bussed his cheek, then released him and stepped away. “That’s sweet, Levi. I honestly hope you find that again.”
His appetite faded. “There is no hope of that. None.” He backed away. “I’m not hungry anymore. I’ll be in the barn.”
“Sorry I repulse you now.” Her voice hitched. Broke.
His eyes shot to her. Why would she say that? Didn’t she know…she had to know—
“Levi,” Abigail said quietly.
He spun around.
“You’re staying in to eat. We need to talk.”
“Again? More?” What now? Dread settled in his stomach, heavy, like a rock. Would this be the conversation about his many failures, or had Noah snuck back and proposed while no one was looking? Though, that thought seemed like pure foolishness.
“Again. More,” Abigail parroted with a gentle smile. It took the sting out of her teasing. “Go, sit. Elsie and I will bring the food over.”
He nodded and, to help out, grabbed the green glass bowl of applesauce sitting on the counter and carried that to the table. Then he took his seat, bowed his head, and prayed for guidance, for wisdom, for clarity of thought, and for the right words for this new issue.
Both women were at the table when he opened his eyes and looked up.
“Praying without us?” Abigail asked. She must know how flustered he was.
He managed a nod. Elsie, the impossible deadline, and George had all contributed to throwing his day off track. He needed all the prayer time he could get. He didn’t dare glance at his green-clad, strawberry-blond, peppermint-scented elf. “Shall we pray?” He bowed his head again and waited long enough for a speedy recitation of the Lord’s Prayer. “Amen.”
Abigail raised her head and lifted a slice of meatloaf to her plate. Elsie didn’t open her eyes for a few more moments. Maybe she needed more prayer time, too. When she did, she quietly stood, walked over to the stove, poured him a cup of coffee, and carried it to the table. Her fingers brushed against his shoulder as she pulled away. His skin burned through the thin fabric of his shirt. He tried not to show any reaction to her accidental touch. “Danki,” he said, then reached for the bowl of mixed vegetables even though his appetite still hadn’t returned. He spooned some on his plate, passed the bowl to Elsie, and turned his attention to Abigail. “What did you want to talk about?”
Abigail clasped her hands like a little girl. “Elsie mentioned something about maybe having a taffy pull, if it’s agreeable with you.”
It wasn’t okay with him, not in the least. But for Abigail…“She mentioned it. I guess you’re interested. When do you want it?” The twelfth of never would be a good time.
Abigail beamed and somehow bounced in her wheelchair. “As soon as possible. Before Christmas, obviously. When is that ice storm forecasted to arrive?”
Levi shrugged. “Whenever it wants to arrive or not at all. When I was in town yesterday, I heard it had stalled out in the Dakotas and the weathermen weren’t sure how it would track. It will be delayed. However, the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting a colder-than-normal year with more wintery accumulation than usual. And that is all I know.”
“Would this Friday be too soon? Two days from now?” Abigail directed that question to Elsie.
Levi spooned out a serving of scalloped potatoes and passed them. His stomach growled. Maybe he’d be able to eat after all.
“It’s short notice, but I’ll spread the word. I think most will cancel plans and come here instead because people haven’t seen you in forever.” Elsie passed the potatoes to Abigail.
“They know where to find me. I just figured they don’t care.
Not really.”
And there went Levi’s appetite again. How many people had Levi discouraged from visiting because he hadn’t wanted them gawking at her or pitying her? And she thought they hadn’t cared? Wow. He was ten times a jerk. Never mind that his motives had been pure and he’d only wanted to protect her.
Elsie frowned. “No one has stopped by? In almost two years?”
“Just you and Noah and the Englisch social worker. And you only recently, that day I prayed for help and you came.”
That was Monday, Levi recalled. And here it was only Wednesday. So much had happened since then.
Elsie shook her head, silent for once.
“People might’ve come when I was in a coma,” Abigail continued. “Noah said he did and he brought your sister Mandy with him once.”
Jah, that was when Levi put a stop to visitors. The nurses said that the Amish went in there and loudly mourned or made discouraging remarks about how it was too bad and so sad, and even though Abigail was in a coma, it depressed her. They insisted that coma patients could hear. He’d have to somehow find the words to explain that. And now would be the perfect time since they were on the topic.
He pulled in a deep breath for courage, one that might have been a little loud because both Abigail and Elsie looked at him. He fisted one of his hands on his lap. “It’s my fault,” he said, then shoved a forkful of food into his mouth. Hopefully, that explanation would be good enough.
“What is your fault?” Abigail asked. Both women looked confused.
He should’ve known better. Nothing was ever so easy.
Levi chewed and swallowed, then put his fork down. “No visitors,” he said. He might as well say why because they’d ask, and so he launched into a rather pitiful recitation of what the nurses had said about how Abigail’s visitors were behaving. “And that’s why I discouraged visitors once you came home. I was trying to protect you.” He was working insane hours to pay their bills and doing all he could to protect her emotionally as well. But obviously failing. Like he might fail with the circus train order, too. Good thing the biggest bills were paid since his income was about to take a big hit.
The Amish Christmas Gift Page 10