by Taryn Quinn
Always Seth.
After grabbing my phone, I wandered back out to the main living space and my gaze drifted around the rustic, glass-walled room. We’d sprawled on the faded green rug on the first day of classes we skipped together junior year, passing back and forth a bottle of some foul-tasting stuff Seth stole from his dad’s liquor cabinet. He’d stopped short of getting drunk, but I hadn’t. I’d savored the freedom in laughing at nothing and lying on my back on the sun-warmed floor, staring up through the skylight at a sky full of marshmallow clouds. I was the girl with too many responsibilities, and he’d always been my ticket to fun and possibilities.
He still was.
I sat on the couch and dumped my phone in my bag, then reached for my iPad. I flipped the cover closed and tucked the tablet into my bag, setting it on the wicker chair beside me.
I couldn’t even pretend to care about the class list on my iPad or the glossy school brochures anymore. Not right now, with so much else going on. As much as I wanted to make my mother proud, and to spread my wings, I had to admit the truth. Online classes might be something I investigated more someday, but right now, I was firmly invested in my life just as it was. Part of me always wanted to see what was out there, but my current reality was looking better and better.
If I didn’t chicken out before I went for what I truly wanted.
The thwack of the screen door dragged me out of my musings. No one knew I was here. I reached for my purse and the can of pepper spray I kept in the zipper pocket. Sage insisted I carry it at all times, even when I had nothing on me but my wallet.
“Alison?”
I sagged back against the chair, still clutching the keys I’d pulled out and my safety spray. Not a burglar. A Hamilton. “Back here. What are you doing here, Oliver?”
He stepped into the sunroom, his back ramrod straight. His impeccable three-piece suit didn’t dare look wilted. My T-shirt was already sticking to me. The little house by the water was usually cool, but there wasn’t a single cool corner of Crescent Cove right now. Humidity and heat sat over the town like a shroud.
Not that you’d know it from Oliver.
“Finally. Do you have any idea how many people are looking for you?”
“I told Sage I needed a few days.” I lifted my chin. “I wasn’t feeling so hot.”
“The whole town is buzzing about this stupid reunion and here you are, tucked away.”
All the sureness I’d been feeling filtered right out of me. The reunion was tonight. Ignorance really was bliss. Why did he have to remind me?
He tilted his head. “May I?”
I shrugged. “It’s your place.” I sighed. “Actually, no. How the heck did you know I’d be here?”
He paused mid-step over the threshold. “Because I come here to think too.”
I frowned. “You’re the one who’s been staying here?”
His eyebrow rose. “Just how often do you come here, Alison?”
“Not often. It’s been months, actually, before the past few days. I didn’t think anyone came here, but the sheets in the bedroom were far too fresh.”
Oliver let out a frustrated sigh and tugged at his tie. “Yes, well sometimes one needs the simple and the quiet to think. May I come in?”
He owned the place, and he was asking me for permission. Unusually sweet for Oliver, but I needed some kindness right now. Desperately.
“Depends. Are you friend or foe?”
“I hope friend.”
I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen Oliver show an emotion other than disdain or disinterest or mild amusement, typically at someone else’s expense. Especially toward me. “Since when?”
“Fair question. I believe we may have gotten off on the wrong foot.”
“For thirteen years? I think that would be an understatement.”
He dipped his hands into his pockets. “The Hamilton men aren’t known for their grace with the fairer sex.”
“Maybe you and your father, but I’m pretty sure Seth got the bulk of your share.”
“Probably true.”
Yet Oliver was the one who’d found me, not his brother. Did Seth even notice I’d been missing? And now I was just being melodramatic. Seth had been texting me a few times a day, every day.
I’d told him I needed a little thinking time.
I slid my hand over my belly self-consciously and sat forward, hunching my shoulders. I was already going into protective mode for a child who might not even exist. Along with heavily protecting myself.
Then again, perhaps Seth was waiting outside, planning a sneak attack.
“Is Seth with you?” I asked.
“No.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Good.”
“Is there a reason you wouldn’t want to see my brother?”
“No.” I shoved my keys and pepper spray back into my bag. “Yes.” I stood and crossed to the windows of the screened-in porch, hoping for a breeze off the water. It had helped earlier, but my mom wasn’t talking now.
The vast, mirror-like lake shone and in the distance. Now I could see the white string lights around the gazebo, winding down the pier. Night was creeping over the town and the sun was sinking behind the trees with fantastic red and pink slashes across the sky. Music and laughter traveled with the occasional snatches of breeze on the heavy night. The pier and park was all tricked out already for the reunion. It was time to celebrate the ten years of our lives we’d put behind us.
Ten years I’d spent not moving forward.
I swallowed hard. “I don’t know. That would be why I’m here. I don’t know anything.”
“Not surprising since my brother is the king of cowards.”
“What?” I turned back to Oliver. “No, he’s not. He—”
“No, that’s exactly what he is. Both of you are. There’s a reason no one ever fit either of you over the years. I may not want to tie myself to one woman, but Seth has been a family man since the moment that little girl was put into his arms. I just put the wrong woman in his path.”
I flinched. “What does that mean?”
Oliver tugged at his tie again until it snapped out of his collar. He jammed it into his pocket before shrugging out of his suit coat. “It’s too blasted hot.”
I lifted a brow. “I thought you were impervious.”
“Yeah, well, don’t look at the line of sweat down the middle of my back. I’m not a fucking machine, no matter what you people think.”
“I…” I didn’t even know what to say to that, actually. Oliver had always been mostly cool and aloof around me. Had I started it? Or had he?
He blew out a breath. “This wasn’t where I wanted to go with this. I’m here to save my meathead brother from making a mistake.”
“Meathead?” I blinked. First, he was de-suiting and now he was plain-speaking.
I squinted at him to make sure he wasn’t Seth playing a joke on me, but the edges of his tattoo demonstrated clearly which twin was which. They were both covered in ink, which was interesting considering Oliver’s penchant for suits. But their ink was as opposite as their personalities. Seth’s was more dark and heavy, while Oliver’s contained more streaks of color.
Not that I would ever mistake the twin brothers for each other. The differences were staggering to me, if no one else. But there was a new glint in Oliver’s eyes. Frustration and an openness I’d never seen before.
“Look, Ally.” He swiped his hand over the back of his neck and my heart melted. Such a Seth gesture. For the first time, he really looked and acted like his brother. They’d always seemed like the opposite sides of a coin. “I may have had an idiotic moment when I pushed Marj into Seth’s life. Intentionally.”
I wrapped my arm around my middle, the quick flash of pain hitting me harder than I thought it would. A part of me had always known Oliver didn’t want his brother with me. And it wasn’t like the revelation was a total surprise. Oliver had mentioned introducing Seth to Marj at the diner. But a casu
al intro wasn’t the same as an intentional one. I could tell from Oliver’s expression he’d had a method to his madness far beyond Seth just meeting his friend.
“Why?”
“Because he didn’t need me anymore, dammit.”
My eyes burned and I blinked away the quick rush of tears. “What? Of course he did. Of course he does. You’re his brother.”
“The minute you came into his life, there was nothing else. We even went to different schools, for fuck’s sake. He was supposed to try out public school for a year and then come back to prep school junior year if he didn’t like it, but he met you. He didn’t want to leave here after that, no matter what he thought of the school. He didn’t say that, but that’s the truth of it.”
I frowned. “You think he chose me over you?”
“I know he did.” Oliver’s dark eyes were fierce. “And I hated you for it. Stupid, petty, and small, I know, but I did.”
“We’re just friends.”
“You were never just friends. You both may have hidden in that role for the majority of your relationship, but deep down, you both knew it wasn’t just platonic.”
“I…” I had to swallow hard. I’d always loved him. Even when my mother’s caregiving took over my life, I’d always put him in the back of mind as the end goal. The unattainable goal.
Maybe that was why I hadn’t ever managed to choose a college away from Crescent Cove. The only thing I’d ever really wanted was here—Seth, and the family we could make. Simple maybe, but honestly, it was the only thing I’d ever really wanted.
“I love him so much,” I whispered.
Just saying it was like dropping a burden. I’d held those words back for so long.
“I know you do.” Oliver sighed. “And he loves you too.”
“How can you—”
“Look, if you want to question it after all this? After he found every reason in the known universe to get you to stay in his life, then I don’t know what to tell you. But I had to at least try to help out for once. Because that man is drowning. You’re everything he ever wanted, he’s just too stubborn to put the label on it because he’s afraid you’ll run.” Oliver shook his head. “You’re both so fucking afraid.”
“Well, look at what we come from.”
“Guess what, sweetheart? We aren’t what we come from. We’re exactly what we choose to be. You want that idiot I call a brother, then you go after him.”
A loud pop and whistle startled me and I swung around. A huge spray of white fireworks fanned up into the night sky. In the center of it was a spray of red that shot out in dual arcs.
A heart.
My vision wavered when another one went up. Then another. A succession of them lit up the cove and kept on coming.
“Well, finally.”
I tried to turn back to Oliver, but I couldn’t pull myself from the display. “They’re beautiful.” And I should be enjoying them with Seth, not locking myself away in the little shame-shack his family owned.
We’d spent hours here as teenagers. We’d told each other secrets, we’d even confessed a few dreams, and shed some tears. But this was our past. Out there was our future.
Those hearts had to be a sign.
I stepped forward, then stilled, clutching my arms around my middle.
“Stop fighting it. Why the hell are you so afraid?”
I whipped around. “You’re one to talk, Oliver Hamilton. I don’t see you getting caught up with anyone.”
“No one has ever mattered enough.”
“No, you never let them matter enough.” I was breathing heavy. But he was right. I’d let fear rule my life for long enough. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I know how it is to hide.”
Oliver’s chin lifted. “There’s a difference, Alison.”
I tilted my head. So much Seth in him and yet, not nearly the same. Seth put Laurie first—put me first—in so many ways. Maybe Oliver would be the same someday.
But now I had to trust in Seth. And myself. “I’m going after him.” I grabbed my bag off the chair.
“Hallelujah.” Oliver lifted his arms then waved to the window. “He even gave you a map for once.”
“Huh?” I hooked the knapsack over my shoulder and made sure I had my wallet, keys. My fingers brushed the early pregnancy test at the bottom of the bag.
“The fireworks. He said he was going for the fairytale.”
My eyes flooded. “He did that? That’s him?”
“God, you guys are so dense. Of course it’s him. Even after he paid to put hearts in the sky, you still question it?”
I dashed away tears with my wrist. “Guess he should have taken out a skywriter.”
“I’ll tell him to do that next.”
I laughed and jangled my keys. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” I swallowed the nerves threatening to slow me down. “It’s time to go get my man.”
“Finally.”
Twenty
Ally
I ran through the cabin and out the front door. My fingers shook as I got in the car and tried to get my keys in the ignition. I saw more sparks through the trees and the fireworks floated higher into the sky with each explosion.
The white made the crinkly fuzzing sound that made my skin crackle in reaction.
Another heart speared the sky.
Then a succession of three.
For all of us?
The family we made?
The red and white shimmered as my eyes burned. I slammed my car into drive and hit the winding road with a scatter of dirt and gravel in my wake. The lake never felt so big as it did tonight. In my head, I knew it was a mere seven minutes into town. Thirteen years of traveling these roads had left an imprint. I could probably drive them blindfolded.
Good thing since my eyes kept filling when I glanced up at the sparkles and hearts dotting the sky.
“I’m coming.” I didn’t realize I’d said it aloud until my voice wavered. Sureness filled my chest and my heart pounded in my head, echoing in every nerve of my body.
I finally turned onto main street and slammed the heel of my hand on the steering wheel at the line of cars. Some were leaving the park, but others were simply sitting there in awe of the light show. The lake held fireworks for the Fourth and sometimes Labor Day, but it was pretty rare. They were expensive and the restrictions were a headache.
I only knew it because I’d stupidly signed up to help with one of the celebrations. Sage was a joiner and a pleaser. Watching her flounder during the Fourth of July preparations a few years ago had prompted me to help. Never again. Small towns were full of way too many helpful hands that never ended up doing anything but complain.
No thanks. I’d rather volunteer to babysit a dozen three-year-olds.
Right about now, I’d empty my bank account to get rid of every car on the road. I looked around for a place to park, but of course that wasn’t going to happen either. My fingers ached from squeezing my steering wheel in frustration.
I rolled down my window and looked for a break in the line of cars to get to a side street. I slapped the side of my wheel when the hearts started slowing in the sky.
God, I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t paying attention.
I scanned the people on the sidewalks. I was about ready to scream for help from sixteen-year-old Madison Kohl when a familiar laugh floated my way.
Sage.
I twisted and turned looking for her familiar flyaway blond hair and my mouth dropped at the bouncing curls that swung down a woman’s back. A woman with more curves than I’d ever seen in Crescent Cove.
Sage was talking to the new teacher, Mike London. And had she just tossed her hair over her shoulder?
“Sage?” I swerved over to the curb in a no-parking zone. This wouldn’t work for long.
She twirled at my call then slapped her bare thighs. Sweet mercy, was she wearing Daisy Dukes?
“Finally! Where the hell have you been?” She turned back to Mike. “Um, sorry.
I didn’t mean to curse, Mr. London.”
“Mike.”
“Right, Mike.” Sage’s voice was unusually breathy. And loud. Her sunny smile lit up her face and Mike’s eyes glazed over.
Of course, half of that was probably the miniscule strappy tank top Sage was wearing that showed off just how generous God had been when stacking her deck.
“Can you come over here, please, Sage? Like now?”
Sage carefully picked her way over the cobblestones of the sidewalk to the asphalt in her espadrilles. Navy ribbons climbed up her ankle to her calf. “Are you cock-blocking me?”
“I’d have to have a cock, Sage.”
“Oh, right.” She huffed out a breath. “You know what I mean.”
I slammed my car into park. Now wasn’t the time, and I knew I was going to regret asking, but I just had to know. “What the heck are you wearing?”
“Oh.” She frowned. “Don’t you like it?”
“You look hot as hell, girlfriend.”
She smiled. “Well, thank you. Just something I found in my closet.”
“You did not find that in your closet.”
Sage gave a lengthy sigh. “All right, it was a store in Laurel. This isn’t exactly the kind of thing you can buy in Kinleigh’s”
That was for sure. But if Kinleigh got a look at that outfit, she might make some changes to her little shop. “Can you drive for me?”
“What?” Sage looked over her shoulder at Mike and wiggled her fingers. “Just a sec,” she called out.
He waved and then slid his fingers into his thick black hair.
“Isn’t he dreamy?”
I blinked and peered around her, then back at Sage. “For real?”
“I mean he’s cute, right?”
“Um…” I honestly hadn’t looked at anyone other than Seth in so long that it felt foreign to look at a man objectively. “I guess.”
“You guess? Do you see how he fills out a pair of jeans? I mean, he’s from Texas first of all, and then he wears honest to God cowboy boots. The kind that are actually broken in because he rides real horses. I mean just wow.”