by Talia Haze
A long buffet stretched from one end of the dining hall to the other. Apparently, we were right on time. Several members of the court stood in line, and all bowed and greeted me as I passed. Such a strange thing to be known by and greeted by all. I loved it, not because of the attention or for my pride, but because I felt like I belonged. Only Ryan and Sean acknowledged me in such a way back home. The elves were not kind to me out of courtesy, but out of genuine compassion. It had been the longest I have ever been apart from Sean or Ryan, and yet I felt fine.
“Alé, Moura,” Arohna Lenaguru was just before us in line. “Alo, Lindius. How fared your day?”
“It’s been wonderful!” I answered, excitedly. “We played this game in the most wonderful place! That old castle is so magnificent! I just want to explore it!” I went on, describing the adventure in vivid detail. I was never the talkative one and didn’t know why I suddenly felt the need to tell Arohna Lenaguru everything. Perhaps because he listened. He listened attentively and smiled graciously.
“I am very pleased that you enjoy it here,” he replied when I finished. “And I am pleased you were amiable to Benjii. Now, Gabriella, you have another two hours for your leisure. After that, your attention belongs to me. As will your morrow.”
“Ilé, Arohna,” I said as respectively as I could. Arohna Lenaguru wasn’t cross, but he was certainly firm. Remembering Benjii’s fear of me, I remembered my fear of the king.
Arohna Lenaguru smiled, pleased at my bit of elvish. “You are learning well, already.” It was finally our turn to choose food. “Two hours’ time, Lindius. Please be prompt.”
“Ilé, Arohna,” Lindius replied, tapping his forehead.
“Afterwards, there will be a council tonight. Lindius, you are more than welcome to attend.”
“Ilé, Arohna,” we both chorused. Arohna Lenaguru smiled and went ahead.
“You can eat, Lindius,” I said, seeing that he didn’t attempt to set himself a plate. I handed him one and he took it, reluctantly. “I’m going to only take food I’m unfamiliar with, and you’re going to tell me what I’m eating.”
A perfect distraction. Lindius led me through the line, excitedly pointing at items or putting things on my plate. The elder elf smiled gently as we passed him. Soon, I had a fine assortment of strange food. I sat at a table and looked over my plate. I had no idea what I was about to consume. Lindius sat across from me and shifted nervously.
“What’s the matter?”
“I just…I do not belong here. Would you mind terribly if we ate elsewhere?”
“Not at all. Where?”
“How about the river?”
~
Reddish-gold leaves lay all around, adding a colorful ambiance to our surroundings. The only sound heard was the river lapping at the shore and soft bird calls. I had eaten several strange but delicious things…game with mushrooms, pheasant with shoots, a sweet salad of wild carrots and berries mixed with a root called luca.
After we finished eating, we lay our backs looking for shapes in the clouds, while sunbathing on the rocks. An orange leaf lightly landed on my nose. I blew it up in the air, but it flittered down and resumed its original spot.
“I love this place!” I cried out, sitting up and cradling the leaf. I would press it in my book, certainly. It hadn’t yet dried out so much that it would crumple. Still, I wondered how long it would last.
Lindius nodded. “It is nice,” he agreed, not really interested. His eyes were fixed on the clouds. “I just wish I could leave sometime. I have never left the forest borders.”
“Really?”
“Yes. And here you are…several lands away from home.”
“Why haven’t you left?”
“I am not allowed to. For several years, we have remained hidden. Only recently have we made emissaries to discuss matters with other elvish kingdoms. That is where Arohna Bawn Lenaguru was the other night. Although, even given the chance I am not certain I would take it...how frightful to be so far away from everything you know.”
I nodded. It had been frightful. At times. But it had been wonderful as well. And look! How lovely Lavenora was, and how lovely were all the elves! I had been so fearful of leaving since the start, but so happy about where we ended up.
I sighed, resting my head on my hands. What would I be doing right now if I had stayed home? Would I be helping Anna clean up after lunch? Or simply cleaning for another successful dinner party? Or trapped in the cellar? Would I even be alive?
I sat up and shivered at the thought. Sean seemed so certain that Uncle Harrison would kill me in a rage. Would I have even seen another month? I was glad I didn’t have to think about it in the elvish forest.
Lindius gently shook my hand. “How is it that you came here? And from so far away? How odd it is you fulfill the prophecy at such a time!”
I nodded. I certainly didn’t mean to. “I ran away from home,” I said simply. Lindius’ eyes widened, but he remained polite. “My uncle is a cruel man. Sean was afraid he would kill me. So, we ran away.”
“Where? How? Why did you travel all the way here?”
“To find my parents. They can get rid of my uncle, and then we can live in a home without fear.” I paused. A home. The manor felt like such a distant dream.
“That sounds like an impossible quest,” Lindius said. “How are you to find only two people in the world? They could be anywhere!”
“That’s the strange thing,” I answered. “They aren’t anywhere. We know exactly where they are. That’s why we went through your forest. To get there faster.”
“Odd.”
“Very much so. And everyone seems to know who they are. That has certainly been dangerous.”
“Dangerous? Why would you say that?”
My face burned and my cheeks ached as I held back the tears. I turned away from him. No. I wouldn’t cry. Not in front of Lindius. And certainly not for Depash. Crying helps nothing. I don’t cry. I wouldn’t cry.
I took a deep breath, trying to relax my jaw. Lindius jumped down from the rock and stood before me so he could study my face. “I am sorry, Moura,” he whispered. A tear rolled down my cheek, but I hastily brushed it away. “I am so sorry for your loss.”
I nodded, trying to avoid his eyes. I just needed a moment. “I am glad that you arrived here safely.”
Safely.
Depash still stared at me. But I was safe.
How could I be so selfish? I reminisced about a terrible home in Tempton and rejoiced in finding such a beautiful replacement in Lavenora. But it came at a cost. My happiness and security weren’t free.
Lindius shook my hand. "Do you always fight your tears, Moura?”
I set my jaw and shrugged. I fought them as we spoke. I wouldn’t cry. Lindius took my other hand. “You must mourn. You will never heal unless you mourn.”
I didn’t know how to mourn. Lindius gripped my hands firmly, keeping me from wiping my tears away.
“Gabriella,” he said softly, “mourn.”
I didn’t have a choice. Tears poured down my face and my sobs finally burst forth. It was the first time he said my name. Mixed with my sadness about Nee Gus and Depash, it was too much to bear. I cried. I sobbed. Lindius’ face fell, and he gently pulled me from the rock and into his arms. “Mourn.”
He rocked me silently while I cried. I didn’t want to. I had to. I couldn’t. I wanted to be like Angel. I wanted to hate Depash. But I couldn’t. I didn’t. I liked him despite everything. And I wasn’t my sister. I wasn’t as strong. And even so…could I possibly hate someone enough to witness their murder and not have tears? I would probably even cry for Uncle Harrison.
Depash was nothing less than kind to me. And Nee Gus was so silly and sweet. And now, they were gone. And there I was, crowned and relaxing in luxury. And I couldn’t even cry for them?
I buried my face into Lindius’ chest. His arms felt strong yet so comforting. I gently gripped the sides of his shirt.
“It is a terrible thi
ng to lose people,” he whispered. “But it is no one’s fault but fate’s. And still, it all falls into place. Think of it! You came in search of safety and you found it. You found not only a safe home, but also a throne!”
“And you,” I said between sobs. What was that? I hadn’t meant to speak my thoughts, but my grief had control. I didn’t even realize I said it right away. Lindius’ grip on me tightened.
“Yes,” he agreed. “That fell into place too. I almost missed you. I had just returned home yesterday when I heard your song. I was supposed to be gone for another two days.”
I just nodded. I was glad he wasn’t. I could have met other elves, but I was glad I met him. I wouldn’t have even been able to mourn had he not told me to.
Mourn.
Nee Gus was gone. He was a good friend. I didn’t know why the scarred man got so angry with him, but I knew Nee Gus was faithful. I knew he loved us, and I knew he loved my parents.
Depash was such strength. He gave me courage when I had none. I knew he had first been a coward, and I knew he had betrayed my dear sister, but with his little amount of time left, he tried to make up for it. He tried to make his last moments matter…and they did.
My crying soon calmed. I would miss them. I would miss them dearly. The grief was still very much present, but the pain had passed. I brushed the remaining tears from my eyes as Lindius shifted, looking across the river.
“The sun has lowered,” he said, quietly.
“It’s beautiful.”
“It is. Still, I am sad to see it.”
“Why’s that?”
Lindius didn’t answer right away. “Because it means that it is time for me to return you to your Arohna.”
I regretted my duty; I regretted the small amount of time I had with him. He sensed it and added, “Good things do not last forever. But at least the memories do.”
He went silent. Why did he look at me so? He didn’t let me go after my crying calmed and I hadn’t let go of him. Now, he stared at me; a strong, deliberate glance while gripping my hips tightly.
I quickly looked away. My heart beat so loudly in my chest. I didn’t realize that I fiddled with the folds on his shirt. I looked back up and his eyes were still frozen on my face, as if he never looked away. My own face felt hot and I looked down, leaning once more onto the comfort of his chest. Into the safety of his arms. I closed my eyes, just taking it all in: the sounds, his smell, the breeze, my heartbeat, the birds, his warm breath through my hair.
He gently pulled me off his chest. We had to go. I finally looked up at his unmoving face. His beautiful orange eyes. His shaggy brown hair. His perfectly thin lips. Everything slowed and silenced; my heart stopped. I clutched his sleeves as he kissed me. Everything left me – my strength, my breath, my thoughts. Just for those few precious minutes, there was nothing else but me and him.
Chapter Eight
And I Cannot Stay Here
Meeting with Lenaguru was not nearly as intimidating as he made it out to be at lunch. He only wanted to learn about me. We talked about my life with Uncle Harrison, Sean and Ryan, my sister. We talked about how I felt about leaving home, about becoming Moura, and how I felt about leaving Lavenora.
His lips pressed hard and he simply replied, “Change is what you make it. It can be terrible, or it can be more wonderful than you can imagine. Regardless of which way you chose to receive it, you must become able to cope with it. Your life will be full of changes…even once you are here.” I shifted. “Even now, you hesitate. Why?”
“I just don’t…I don’t know if this is a choice I can make. What if the others…?”
“This is a choice for you to make,” Lenaguru replied. “Never mind the others.” I went silent and nodded. Why just me? How was that fair? Was I to rule over my family as well?
He stared at me hard. “You do not trust yourself to decide?”
I never thought of it like that. Perhaps. Maybe. I had never been given the opportunity to decide. Uncle Harrison decided for me; Sean or Ryan decided for me, Angel decided for me. I didn’t mind; I trusted them. Why should I have to decide? They knew what was best.
Didn’t they?
“Gabriella, a time will come when decisions will no longer be left to someone else. Do not waver and do not ‘perhaps.’ Your path is here. The others’ path may not be.” I opened my mouth in objection, but Arohna held up his hand. “This is what I mean by ‘change is what you make it.’ It will be difficult, but it will not be terrible.”
“It will just be different,” I agreed, softly kicking my feet. It seemed so long ago since I had the conversation with Saramine. Arohna nodded.
“It will just be different. Gabriella, you cannot always rely on Sean and Ryan, or your sister, or even myself to tell you what to do. You must learn how to be independent, and to have confidence in that independence. Someday, this will all be left up to you.”
I nodded. Someday seemed so far away. Perhaps I would be ready by then.
We then talked about elvish customs and etiquette. I was to behave a certain way, walk a certain way, respond a certain way. It was a lot to absorb, but it was very interesting. It would be like listening to tales and then performing them. Apparently, my timid manner already put me halfway there; elvish mouras were to be shy, submissive, and soft-spoken. They were also to be firm if needed, confident and independent, and that was what I needed to work on. Arohna Lenaguru encouraged me to practice during the council as well as at the fires.
With Angel doing most of the talking during the council, it was easy to be silent. She retold our story; our quest through the fairy route and our goals. We had told it so many times in the past few days, it seemed we just recited one of my tales instead of remembering our lives.
I leaned wearily against the arm of my chair, before getting an angry glare from Connie and sitting up straight and proud.
Nothing else was mentioned about our parents. Nee Gus knew who we were, and the man who killed him and Depash certainly did. The Elder Elf gave Arohna Lenaguru an awkward look, but the Arohna responded with an expressionless face, so nothing more was said. They clearly knew what was going on; they had said my father’s name before. I didn’t press, however, hoping the ordeal would soon end.
~
“It is so much fun,” Lindius explained, dragging me through the dense forest. It was almost dusk before we were freed. In his excitement, he forgot all about being attentive, and I struggled to keep up with his long stride. “There is music and games, and because the hunters and scouts just returned, everyone will be there!”
I finally slowed to a breathless stop. “Give me a moment; I need a breath.” I gasped, releasing his hand and leaning against an oak. Lindius just beamed.
“You suit the forest, Gabriella,” Lindius said, staring at me with those gorgeous orange eyes. “All this place needed was a beautiful maiden nestled in its trees.”
I nodded and stood on the tall root with one arm wrapped around the trunk and the other outstretched. The forest felt so alive. “And the forest suits me!” I agreed. Lindius laughed and held my waist with his huge hands as I let myself fall. Everything felt so right.
We ran for only a few minutes more before reaching a large field. It took several minutes more to get across the field to the center, where a huge dirt circle lined with giant rocks lay. There were several elves already standing in small groups or sitting on the stones and talking merrily.
The group called to Lindius as we approached, urging him in elvish. Lindius turned to me with a smile. “They want us to play for them,” he said.
“Yes, let us hear what you have been bragging so much about,” Benjii agreed, standing high on one of the rocks.
Lindius pulled his flute from out of his pocket and put it to his lips. He started up a tune and I followed. Soon, we had everyone dancing and singing along. Sean joined in and played a borrowed drum, while trying to pick up the elvish words. Saramine sang too and Connie settled with dancing. Even Angel came, thou
gh she just sat nearby, watching with a stone face. An elf managed to get her smiling again when he pulled her to her feet and made her dance along with the rest of us. Soon, we had Angel laughing too.
~
“Are you prepared?” the Elder Elf asked. Angel nodded. The week had passed so quickly. I would miss Lavenora. I spent my early mornings with the elder elf, my mid-mornings with the Arohna, my afternoons with Lindius and my evenings with my family and the other young elves. But with Saramine fully healed, it was finally time to continue on.
I yawned as Angel talked. I had stayed up late the night before, playing tag with guards, and giggling into the early morning hours with my five maids in my bed. I had breakfast with Arohna, who gave me final instructions, before I received a blessing from the Elder Elf.
The elves had resupplied us, and we stood outside the dome council building before Arohna in the morning sun.
“Thank you for the kindness you have shown us,” Angel continued in her chiefly manner. “We owe you a great deal. We shall never forget it.”
“Please do.” Arohna Lenaguru grabbed Angel’s shoulder. “Forget the debt, but remember our kindness, so that you may pass it on to others.”
I couldn’t help but smile. The Arohna smiled too and gently patted my chin.
“Remember,” he added. “Should your quest succeed or fail, you have safety here. This is your home now and we are your people. Do not forget that.”
I nodded before turning to find Lindius in the crowd. I had never seen a face so sullen.
“Gabriella, you are leaving?” he asked in a whisper. I nodded, feeling suddenly uneasy. “I thought…I thought you would stay here. This is your home now!”
“Lindius, I must go,” I said. It was always the plan to continue on; he was at the council. I looked to my sister, who smiled over her new bow, given to her by another elf. “We’ve come so far; we can’t give up now.”