by J. A. Saare
Upon reflection, thinking about my childhood, the teenager and woman were two very different people. As a child, I gravitated toward my father. He spoiled me when he had the chance and explained when he couldn't. He was the one that lazed around with me, telling me stories, making me laugh with silly jokes. While Mom wasn't Scrooge,
she had been the stern one. She was the parent who laid down the law and made me follow the rules. Despite that, I adored her, wanting to grow up to be just like her, drawn to her intelligence, beauty, and grace.
Now, studying her picture, I was reminded that she wasn't just the woman who'd given birth to me. She was a person who had inner conflicts and personal issues just like I did. She'd made choices to be with Dad even though it had come at a cost. I'd never heard her talk about the sacrifice. She'd never mentioned her family. Neither had Dad. We'd been in our perfect little world until a car accident took them away and turned my life upside down.
They had been my entire world.
I placed the photo and the sphere on the coffee table, and my gaze flittered across the family room. There were no pictures of any of the household members, but I thought there should be. Those who lived here had a purpose and place. Each one was an asset and had value. They were strong, loyal, and loving. They'd kept the house going even when the one who led them couldn't be here.
There was so much I still needed to understand.
Marius had hurt them, but I'd been dealing with so much personal shit no one had a chance to tell me what had taken place in my absence. They'd merely soldiered along, following the rules they knew, doing what they were told. They should resent me for what I'd done to them. I closed my eyes and expanded my hearing, wanting to know what was going on in the office. I recognized the voices of each family member. Everyone sounded calm.
Gabriel had called a meeting as soon as we'd gotten back. It had been awkward to stand beside him as the news I'd just gotten was shared with everyone. He informed them that Bane wasn't just an ally but my relative. They were given notice before I had a chance to absorb the information myself. While I understood why it had to be shared, bitterness hit me hard. They knew everything about me, but I didn't know anything about them.
Maybe my place by Gabriel's side made it different for me. He'd chosen me, and they couldn't argue with him. His word was law, and he wouldn't let them come between us. For that reason, I had to show them I was also there for them.
I just had to figure out how.
I stood and swiped clammy palms down my jeans.
If I wanted to glimpse what happened when I'd been gone, I'd have to man up, go to them, and ask directly. It was the only way to become part of the inner circle, accepting and appreciating their points of view, hoping as I did they would also understand mine.
I retrieved the satin bag I'd been given, placed the crystal ball inside, and picked up the picture. I didn't want to tuck it away again, knowing I had to put the photo in a frame, but I still slid it into my back pocket. I departed the cozy area that provided comfort but also made me realize my many failings.
I left the room, pulse racing, a knot in my throat.
My stomach contorted as I got closer to the vampires who were actually laughing, sounding completely at peace. There had been so much tension in the home in the last three days. They were relaxed for the first time since Gabriel had come back. Maybe they didn't need me to offer anything to prove my loyalty. I could disturb them, set things off-kilter, and make things worse.
"Come to me, Rhiannon." I jumped when Gabriel's voice appeared in my head, almost dropping the satchel in my hand. He sounded undisturbed and serene. "You've been apart from us long enough."
"Maybe I shouldn't." It was an instinctive reaction, wanting to run away.
I considered turning around and going back to where I'd come from.
"Are you telling me no? You know how I feel about that." His voice had the teasing edge I'd gotten used to in the time we'd been alone together. "Come in here right now, or when you seek sleep, I'll come upstairs and tease you for hours. You'll have to beg me to ease your torture, and I may or may not listen."
My mind swarmed with conflicting emotions and thoughts, reminding me of what I'd done, sending me back to when I'd first met Disco and pledged myself to him. In swearing fealty, I'd caused nothing but absolute misery. I'd put myself before the family despite my vow, and they'd all been punished for it.
I heard soft footsteps and prepared to bolt.
Peter waltzed into the foyer, his hands tucked in his expensive slacks, a small smile on his face. Gabriel had reinstated him as his replacement in the event of a tragedy. They'd had a conversation and understood each other, coming to an agreement right away. Peter vowed to protect every member of the family, even if his role became bigger and he'd face dangerous things.
For that reason, I felt uncomfortable facing him.
The man who'd been changed in his early thirties had strands of his dark, mid-length hair tucked behind his ears. His amber eyes were a striking color but appeared soulful and friendly. He approached me slowly, like he already knew what was on my mind, and slid his hands from his clothing. I clutched the soft velvet satchel in my fist, unable to run, wondering what he had to say.
He extended one of his hands. "Join us, Rhiannon."
Gabriel had sent him.
The master of the house had told him to retrieve me.
"I was just about—"
"To do precisely what I instructed," he said, voice changing. Each syllable created piano notes that hit my ears, swept through my body, and provided immediate calm. He moved closer, reached for my empty hand, and wrapped his fingers around mine. The instant our skin made contact, tranquility swept through me. The fears and uncertainties vanished. I only experienced absolute peace. He moved, placed his broad palm at my lower back, and guided me forward. "You never have to fear me. I'd never hurt our family."
"You led them in the future. They became yours to protect," I found myself saying, even though I didn't know why. "Paine gave them to you. He knew you'd watch over them. He trusted you."
"Is that right?" He continued our trek. "Good to know."
When I saw the door and glimpsed those standing inside, anxiety threatened to break through the blissful hum his words had created. The nervousness was gone in a flash, and I couldn't recall what I'd been thinking about before. I followed along, carefree and happy, as Peter led me to a chair across from the desk. He shifted his hand to my hip to guide me and kept a firm grip on my hand until I sank into the cushion. Everyone kept chattering like we hadn't come inside.
Even when he let me go, I remained completely at ease.
Gabriel stepped over and rested his palm against my nape, draping his fingers over my neck. "I'm going to tell you what Marius and Revenald did to them, but I want you to look at them as I do. See them all now, at this moment, because we made it so. They are happy because we've given them freedom. You blame yourself, but you know just as well as anyone that evil exists. No single person carries the blame for it."
I didn't say a word, wrapped in complete tranquility.
"Revenald wanted to set an example. He had to show his kind that his house wasn't corrupt and he maintained full control. He chose Landon and Corey for the event because they are similar to Paine and me. They were friends when they were human and were changed together, much as we were. But there's more to it. Their desires changed upon the turn, and they now have deeper feelings for each other. Revenald believed that reflected you and me. He brought them to the mansion, took them to the room for violence, and turned them on each other. He wanted everyone to see no one in his domain was safe unless they played by his rules. He made every member of the family attend. They had to sit back and watch."
Jesus. Not that.
Never that.
Before I could get too deep into the idea, I was back in the warm pool of bliss, floating in rocking water, completely jovial and content.
"They did what they had to, putting on a
show until Corey collapsed and couldn't get back up. Landon couldn't do anything. He had to step back and watch his friend and lover struggle to crawl to Revenald in subservience. Revenald had all of them on their knees before the night ended, but it was only for show. It ended there, and they came home, Rhiannon. As soon as they did, Revenald departed and left Marius in charge. He expected the same thing to happen to everyone in the house, creating constant chaos, so those who might fall out of line would reveal themselves. Before that happened, Peter stepped in."
My gaze darted to the vampire Gabriel had chosen as his successor.
Peter wasn't looking at me, but I had his full attention.
"He's the one doing this to me?"
"Of course. You have to feel it yourself to understand."
Peter's focus drifted to me, and he cocked a brow like he was part of the conversation taking place in my mind. He gave me a knowing smile. His grin remained even when he turned his head and gazed around the room.
"Marius followed Revenald's orders only when Peter allowed it. He maintained the peace to keep the family safe after the first event. The reason my maker was waiting for me is that Peter made it so. He created the emotion and acceptance that kept Marius cheerful while I was away. That's how I could speak to Goose and issue orders even when we were on The Minnow. That is why I didn't want to worry you about the family before we made it home. Everything was under control."
"You knew?" I hadn't realized he'd caught my thoughts about the family and my lack of insight about them. "The entire time?"
"Of course I did, love. You're not good at filtering emotion. It was hard to adjust to when we ran, especially at first. I told you that you respond and react to emotion. It's what drives and fuels you. I've always tried to follow your wishes and not look into your head, but even when I don't, I can sense when you're sad, happy, angry, or upset. You project so loudly, it's impossible to miss. I often wondered why until I met Bane and we had our first open discussion about you. You will always absorb things deeply because empathy is part of you. You have an affinity for it. You will take in the elements around you, hold onto them, and send them back out because it's who you are. Your bloodline is like his, both light and dark. It's why you react first and question later. Unlike him and the people that raised him, you weren't given a choice. You didn't have a chance to learn how to filter what you take in. You had to adapt in different circumstances to survive."
His fingers tightened around my neck. "You want to prove yourself to the family. I want that too. We're going to change things for vampires the world over. Before that transpires, you know what has to happen."
I did but, unlike before, I wasn't nervous or afraid. "I do."
Gabriel hesitated, and I felt his unease through the mark. "I want to make sure."
The serene feeling vanished, leaving me alone with myself.
My ears filled with the discussions in the room.
Goose, the nerd who wasn't really a nerd in the normal sense, was questioning Landon and Corey about their newest comic books. He didn't understand their fascination as he thought graphic novels were a waste of time. Landon and Corey were arguing their case with good humor, trying to change his mind. Nala and Adrian were quietly whispering to each other, talking about what they planned to do since they were given leave of the house as soon as Marigold had been found and my debt was severed. Gabriel had offered them use of The Minnow to spend time alone together.
The mark widened, and I had access to their minds.
Each of them was happy and felt safe.
They weren't worried about a thing.
They were ready to move on, change things as Gabriel indicated, and create a world where vampires didn't have to be monsters. They wanted to retain the humanity that continued to reside in them. That's why Gabriel had chosen most of them as family members in the first place. He, too, wanted to retain the things that allowed him to be as human as a vampire could be. It wasn't easy. The change made emotions, desires, and personalities different.
"Do you understand now, love?" Gabriel's thumb caressed the arch of my neck. "Do you see what we've established together?"
I did for the first time. "Yes."
Paine's death hurt all of us, but it had been a catalyst for change.
After his loss, the family had buckled down, come together, and ensured vampires would break free of the chains that bound them. They'd create a new world where they were no longer used for amusement. Much like necromancers, they'd existed under the thumb of others, always controlled by the half-demons who resided in Hell.
They wanted that to end.
"Are you ready?" The lazy stokes against my neck ceased. "Can you give fealty to this family again?"
How could I not? Goose had taken the step right away, taking Peter's first mark as soon as the decision had been made. He didn't balk, accepting his place, serving the family. Even if I was Gabriel's lover and partner, I was also a necromancer that watched over them just as Goose did.
But there was something else, an experiment that might not do anything.
Gabriel saw what I was curious about, and his thumb resumed the same lazy strokes, tracing the delicate curve that connected my shoulder to my throat. He was thinking about it. His mind went into overdrive, looking so many moves ahead, measuring the cost versus the reward. He would always be like that, weighing the pros and cons.
I sensed the acceptance of the request before he said, "If it works, it will tie this family together in an entirely new way."
I let my gaze drift around the room one final time.
Each one had endured something that had changed them.
Their pain might be different but they were united.
"I'm ready. I'm not afraid."
His hand remained where it was when Peter moved, his tiger-like eyes holding mine, and stopped in front of me. The chatter in the room faded, and the family went quiet. He kneeled beside the chair and extended his hand.
"I want all of you to come forward," Gabriel instructed them, motioning at my sides. "Place a hand on her arms and make sure you're in direct contact."
This was something new and different, entirely out of the ordinary.
The marks were usually done in private by the heads of the house.
I remembered when the same thing had happened with Paine.
A vote had been taken, I'd been accepted, agreed to be beholden to the family, and my fate had been sealed. The other family members had hurried from the room so the proper steps could be taken and essential bonds could be established. They weren't meant to participate in the event since necromancers, much like themselves when it came to vampire and half-demon hierarchy, weren't equals but servants.
They were puzzled by the order but didn't argue, crowding the chair, placing a hand on every inch of bare skin from shoulder to my wrist. I placed my hand in Peter's and some of them had to move slightly, giving him room to wrap his fingers at my elbow. He held it firm so he could pierce my wrist.
"I swear fealty to you and yours," I said, recalling the first night I'd uttered the same to Paine, trying to steady myself, "putting myself into your keeping."
"I give you my protection as a member of this house," Peter whispered, leaning closer to my bared wrist, revealing his fangs.
I braced myself.
It was going to hurt like hell.
Before he bit me, that mellow haze reappeared. I was back in that haven of absolute bliss. His teeth punctured my skin, his fangs scored the tendons and muscles, but the act didn't cause pain. Not even a little. He eased his teeth from my flesh, drawing on my skin as he drank, and I remained entirely at ease.
Out of nowhere, I could sense all of them.
The same blissful feeling I'd experienced when I'd taken Gabriel and Goose's hands in Scott's home blossomed and spread through all of us. We couldn't hear each other, but we could feel each other.
There was no anger coming from any of us.
We experienced only astonishme
nt as the connection swept out, pulled us in, and brought the family together in an unbelievable way. It was absolute, fulfilling, and entirely right. Like this, we could face any demons, fight any battles, and conquer the world. We were a family and always would be, brought together by circumstance and fate.
Peter's sealed the wounds on my wrist with his tongue and lifted his dark head. Our eyes met, and my stomach knotted when I saw the affirmation inside his radiant gold eyes. Not only had I been privy to everyone's emotions, they'd sensed mine as well.
"Welcome home," Peter said softly.
Gabriel didn't move, but we sensed his contentment through the ties that now bound us together. I closed my eyes, awash in their strength and fortitude.
Even if the worst happened, no one could take this away.
I didn't know how much time ticked by as I switched between each of the sensations coming from them, finding myself in a place that was so right it couldn't possibly be wrong. Their hands rested on my skin, allowing them to truly see each other for the first time, and I hoped they understood my devotion to them.
I'd protect them with my life.
I'd do anything to keep them safe.
Chapter Sixteen
A thunderous boom from the foyer pulled us from serenity and bliss, ripping us out of our newly formed connection. Everyone let me go, pulled back, and spread out. Peter rose, giving me room, and I lurched to my feet. Gabriel strode forward, taking point as everyone looked at the office door that remained open. Bloodlust slammed into me, but the raging emotion wasn't accompanied by images, only the promise of death and destruction.
"I'm paying that visit, bitch," Revenald called out, the words echoing against the high ceilings. He made sure he yelled invitations to those with him, granting them access to the home. We'd kicked him out, but this was still his residence. He could enter and leave the home as he pleased. He didn't need a single one of us to allow entry. "Dearest family, I'm home. I've brought company. Come greet your guests."
I slid my hand to my back, ready to pull out Sucker, and panicked when I remembered it wasn't with me. The cursed blade was upstairs, locked in the chest with my other weapons. The only things on my person were a rosary, the crystal ball, and the amulet. I didn't want to reach for the necklace. Doing so would connect me to Marigold and Lucifer.