by HELEN HARDT
Not too obvious. I’d never been known for my punctuality.
“Just interested to hear what you guys want to talk to me about.”
“I thought Tal filled you in a little.”
“He did.” I cleared my throat. “But I’m still curious. About the details. You know.”
Joe smiled. “We’re hoping to welcome you aboard here. Ryan should be here soon. Is there any more coffee?”
I cleared my throat again. “I don’t know. Marjorie poured me this cup and then excused herself to go take a shower. She said she’d make us breakfast when she was done.”
“Great. I’m starved. We’ll call this second breakfast, like the hobbits do. My first breakfast was at five thirty. So how are you holding up?”
Nothing like getting right to the point. Oh, I’m a huge mess. Such a huge mess that I took advantage of your baby sister last night. Right in the room that used to have unicorns on the wall.
Yeah. Couldn’t really say that.
“I’m good.”
“Your mom still okay?”
“The same. Henry helps a lot. She’s pretty much taken over.” I sighed. “I miss him, actually.”
“You’re his father. Take back the reins.”
“She needs him right now. And he adores her.”
“He adores you too. Don’t stop being his dad just because his grandma needs something to focus on.”
I nodded. What else could I do? I didn’t want to tell Joe that I was so much a shadow of my former self that I didn’t feel I could be a father to my son. What if I turned into my own father? No, couldn’t even begin to go there. I could never put my son in harm’s way. I’d leave him first.
“It’s working for now, Joe. I’m doing the best I can.”
“I hear you asked Tal to make you a hand around here.”
“I did.”
“And that’s when he told you about what we were considering.”
“Yeah.”
“I get it, Bryce. You want to work your body to a pulp so you can forget everything that went down, if only through exhaustion. But buddy, it won’t work. Been there, done that.”
“With all due respect, your father wasn’t a psychopath.”
“Maybe not, but he sure fucked up as a dad.”
“Please.” I scoffed. “Don’t compare our situations.”
“I’m not. But take a look. Be thankful. You’re strong and healthy, and you have a strong and healthy kid. And whatever else your father did, he was around for you when you needed him, and he never abused you.”
“That’s supposed to make me feel better?” I stood. “Christ, Joe. Give me a break.”
“Hey. Sit back down.” He gestured. “I didn’t mean to cross any line. No one knows better than I do the guilt of being the one who wasn’t abused.”
I nodded. Joe was right. He’d harbored immense guilt for decades over not accompanying Talon that fateful day.
By my psycho father and two other equally psycho dicks.
“Luke, Joe. And all those other kids. Names I’ll never know. Colin Morse. My father destroyed them. Why not me?”
“I don’t know. I wish I had answers. All we can do in this life is play the hand we’re dealt. It is what it is.”
“Am I supposed to feel lucky?”
Joe took a sip of coffee and paused a moment. Then, “I don’t know. I often thought the same thing. I never felt lucky, though.”
“I don’t either.”
“It took a while, but I learned to focus on the good. I learned that Talon didn’t blame me for what happened to him. He never did. And no one blames you for what your father did.”
“But the guilt, man. How do you let go of that?”
“A lot of soul searching.” He smiled. “And the love of a good woman helps.”
The love of a good woman…
Marjorie. She was as good as they came. And the best woman in the world deserved someone whole.
That was not me.
“You lucked out. You got a good woman who is also trained to help you through the crap.”
He laughed. “You think I married Melanie to have a live-in therapist?”
“No. That didn’t come out right. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I lucked out in a lot of ways with Melanie. I don’t deny it. But I married her for love. True love. Not her talents and abilities. Not her intelligence. Not her amazing body and blond beauty, either. We fell in love. Simple as that.”
“I’m not ready for a relationship,” I said.
“That’s cool. Just take things one day at a time. Talk to Melanie if you need to. Or she can recommend someone else if you’re uncomfortable talking to your best friend’s wife. But you need to do something, Bryce. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve gone downhill.”
I sighed. “Now why would I take that the wrong way?”
“Come on. You and I don’t mince words. We never have.”
I nodded. “True.”
“Remember our wedding in Jamaica? You were in a great mood for those couple days.”
“There was a nude beach, and I had a buzz going the whole time,” I said truthfully. “It hit me harder about a month later. I think I was numb at first, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it. Like I’ve said before. Been there, done that. But you’ve got a son. And even if you didn’t, you’ve got a life, man. You’re alive.”
“And so many others aren’t because of my father.”
“True. There’s no sugarcoating it. But you’re not dead, Bryce, so here’s my best advice, whether you want it or not. Don’t live your life as if you are.”
I opened my mouth, though I had no response. Thankfully, I was interrupted by Ryan Steel ambling into the kitchen. “Hey, I’m not that late, am I?”
“We were early,” Joe said.
A few seconds later, Marjorie arrived, her long dark hair hanging in wet waves. She sauntered in barefoot, wearing her trademark skinny jeans and fitted T.
My breath caught. Always breathless around this woman.
She regarded her brothers and laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I know. You’re hungry. Eggs, toast, and Canadian bacon will be ready in five.”
“You’re a gem,” Ryan said.
“And don’t forget it! You’re just lucky I love cooking.”
“We never forget that, Sis,” Ryan said jovially.
Ryan Steel had always been jovial, always had a smile on his sculpted face. We’d all found out recently that he was actually a half brother to the other Steel siblings. Still, though, his old personality shone through as if nothing had occurred.
Of course, he’d also found love. With Ruby Lee, a former police detective, who was the daughter of the one man who might rival my father for being the worst psycho in the world.
Reality hit me like a brick. All the Steels, including Marj, had been through just as much, or more, as I had, and they were still functioning, not allowing themselves to sink in the quicksand of self-pity.
They were better than I.
Another reason I needed to turn down whatever they were offering.
I eyed Marjorie’s perfect ass as she fried eggs at the gas cooktop. Marjorie. She was the main reason I’d turn down the Steel brothers.
I had to stay away from her.
If I didn’t, I’d hurt her.
Her brothers would never forgive me.
And I’d never forgive myself.
Chapter Seventeen
Marjorie
My back was burning. I actually felt Bryce’s blue eyes on me as I cooked breakfast for him and my brothers.
Maybe it was my imagination. Maybe he wasn’t feeling what I was feeling.
What we’d shared couldn’t be one-sided, could it?
Yeah, he didn’t want my brothers to know. I understood. I didn’t want them to know either. Not yet, anyway. It was too new. Telling anyone, even Jade, would make it seem slightly less exciting.
Except that I was both excited and sad.
<
br /> Bryce had made it clear this had been a onetime deal. I supposed it was up to me to change his mind, but why should it be? I’d already been forward, which was usually out of my comfort zone. Of course, never had I wanted anyone as much as I ached for Bryce Simpson.
Truth be told, I’d been attracted to him since I was a kid. He’d been around all the time, being Joe’s best friend and all, and his blond-haired and blue-eyed handsomeness was such a striking contrast to the dark hair and eyes we Steels possessed.
I finished the eggs and flipped the slices of Canadian bacon. I divided the eggs among three plates and then buttered the slices of whole-grain toast. Then I started another pot of coffee while I waited for the Canadian bacon to finish.
The guys were talking, mostly Joe and Ryan, but every once in a while, Bryce piped in. I went back in time in my mind once more. Bryce used to be nearly as jovial as my brother Ryan. When I was a kid, he was always smiling and laughing. He’d been good for Joe, who was on the quieter side. Though I was too young to remember, apparently Joe had been as boisterous as Bryce before Talon had been taken. Bryce must have done a lot to pull Joe out of his funk during that difficult time. Of course, no one but the family, excluding me, even knew Talon had been taken. Had Joe confided in Bryce? I had no idea. They were as close as two men could be, as close as Jade and I were. I would have told Jade everything, but perhaps male friendships were different.
I’d had my own issues with my brothers over them not telling me about Talon until last year. Sure, they were trying to protect me, but I was far from a shrinking violet. I hoped I’d proved that by now.
I certainly harbored my own guilt. Talon’s abduction had been orchestrated by Ryan’s birth mother, a crazy bitch who’d been obsessed with my father. The reason? Finding out my mother was pregnant with me.
But for me, my brother wouldn’t have gone through hell.
No, I didn’t blame myself, not objectively at least. But I had at first, and I possessed the scars to prove it. Several talks with both Jade and Melanie had helped me see the truth, but still a smidge of guilt remained. It would always be there.
It was a part of me, just like Joe’s guilt would always be a part of him.
I had to learn to live with it. Assisting with Talon’s family was helping. I’d grown to love Dale and Donny, and Jade was my all-time bestie. Plus, I was getting to know my middle brother. He’d always been elusive, having been gone so long with the military. I’d always been closer to Joe and Ryan.
Maybe I’d tell Bryce about my feelings of guilt. If I had the chance, that was. He didn’t seem to want anything to do with me now.
But again, he’d been so vibrant before. Even if Bryce had known about Talon when he was younger, he certainly hadn’t known of his father’s involvement. None of us had.
I finished up the Canadian bacon and slapped it on the full plates. I turned and forced a smile. “It’s ready.” I brought two plates over and set them in front of Joe and Bryce.
Ryan lifted his brow.
“I only have two hands, Ry. Sheesh.” I brought him his plate.
“Just kidding, Sis. But why do those two bozos rate higher than I do?”
“They were closer,” I said, forcing my smile again. “I made another pot of coffee.”
Joe held up his cup. “I’ll take a hot topper.”
Then Bryce stood. “I’ll get the coffee. I’m sure Marj has other things she’d rather be doing than feeding us.”
Ryan laughed. “Are you kidding? She lives to feed people.”
“Right,” I said, again with the forced smile. My brother was teasing, of course, but his words irked me. “Thanks, Bryce. I do have some things to do.” I walked swiftly out of the kitchen.
In truth, I didn’t have much on my plate today, but I relished the chance to escape. With Felicia gone, I was also doing the laundry, but I’d just completed it two days prior. We’d hired the rest of the housework out to a maid service that came once a week, which worked fine for me. I was an atrocious housekeeper.
Since Jade was still at the hospital and the boys were at school, I was off the clock for now. Though I was tempted to curl up with a good book and escape thoughts of Bryce Simpson, I decided instead to go into town. I’d take Jade’s advice and get back to the gym. I hadn’t gained any weight, but I was getting a little soft. Ryan’s wife, Ruby, had given me some pointers for my workouts. That woman had an amazing body, all toned and muscled but still beautifully feminine. In fact, maybe I’d give her a call and see if she wanted to accompany me. She’d quit the police force when they wouldn’t give her time off to go after her father, and though she was toying with opening up a PI business, she hadn’t yet. For now, she was helping Ry with the wine business.
I quickly dialed her cell, but she answered with a text that she was tied up in a meeting all morning. So much for that idea.
Off to the gym by myself, then. I grabbed my workout bag and headed out.
Holy smokes, was I out of shape! A half hour on the elliptical about did me in. I showered quickly, and changed, and then went next door to get a raspberry smoothie. I sat down at a small table and checked my phone, trying not to think about Bryce.
I wasn’t having much luck, until—
“Marjorie.”
A voice I recognized. I looked up. Colin Morse, Jade’s ex-fiancé, who I’d known since college, stood at the opposite end of my small table.
I swallowed. I had no idea what to say.
“Mind if I sit down?” he asked.
“Sure. Go ahead.” I avoided his gaze.
Colin had been held captive, tortured, and raped by Bryce’s father, Tom Simpson. Joe had rescued him, but Colin’s father, instead of being grateful, had threatened Joe with criminal charges, saying Colin was ready to name Joe as his captor.
Joe didn’t bite, however, and Colin came clean.
He hadn’t deserved his fate, but I was still pissed he was ready to blame my brother. Plus, he’d left Jade humiliated at the altar. I couldn’t turn him away, though. I’d never turn away a rape victim.
He sat down.
“What are you doing in Snow Creek?” I asked. This ought to be the last place on earth he’d be hanging out. He was abducted here, after a run-in with all three of my brothers.
“How’s Jade?” he countered.
So much for him answering my question.
“She’s good.” Did he know she was pregnant? I had no idea. None of his business anyway.
He sighed. “Do you know how many times I’ve thought about how much simpler my life would have been if I hadn’t chickened out the day of my wedding?”
Okay, this time I wasn’t holding back. “Look, Colin. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. Truly I am. But if you think I’m going to let you off the hook for leaving my best friend totally humiliated, think again.”
“Still the same Marjorie Steel,” he said. “You don’t take shit from anyone.”
“Especially not people who hurt my friends.”
“I was your friend once.”
“Jade trumps you, I’m afraid.”
Then I felt like a horrible person. Maybe he was looking for someone to talk to. I wasn’t the right person, but I could at least be nice. Maybe suggest he get help. But first I needed to know why he was here.
“What are you doing here, Colin?”
He didn’t respond right away. Just took several sips of his green smoothie. It looked like pea soup in a clear plastic cup.
Yuck.
“Trying to help myself, so to speak,” he finally said.
“How?”
“By taking back my life. Facing the place where I was kidnapped.”
“How is that supposed to help you?”
“Hell if I know. It was my father’s idea.”
His father? The one who’d been ready to extort money from my brother? Great.
“Have you thought about getting some real help?”
“What do you mean?”
&nb
sp; “I mean seeing a therapist, Colin.”
He huffed. “My father says that’s only for cowards. Weaklings.”
Well, your father is a supreme douchebag. Seriously, it was on the tip of my tongue.
“So he thinks you should be helping yourself. Facing the music.”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “In a manner of speaking.”
“In other words, ‘get over it.’ Right?”
He nodded.
His hair was growing out nicely. Tom had shaved his head. Colin had always been handsome, with blond hair and greenish eyes.
“Colin,” I said, “what exactly did your father think of you running out on Jade that day?”
“He told me I was a coward.”
Shocking.
“And were you?”
“Well…yeah.”
“You’re putting me in a weird position here,” I said. “I don’t want to give you an excuse for what you did to Jade, but frankly, your dad is being a dick.”
He didn’t respond.
“Sorry if I crossed a line there.” But I wasn’t sorry at all.
“It’s okay.”
I rolled my eyes. “Look. You need some real help. It’s not a weakness. It’s strength.”
“Jonah’s wife is a psychiatrist, right?”
“Yeah. But I don’t think she’d be the right fit.”
“Why not? I hear she’s the best.”
“She is. But you’re forgetting that your esteemed father tried to pin your abduction on Joe. Little conflict of interest there.”
He stared at his pea glop in a cup. “I really just want to talk to Jade. Can you arrange it?”
“That’s why you came here? Not to ‘face the music’?”
“Well, both reasons, actually. I wasn’t sure how to go about seeing her, but running into you here was kind of like kismet.”
I shook my head. “Trust me, Colin. Nothing about this was kismet. Since when do you even use the word kismet?”
“Since my life was ripped away from me by Tom Simpson. Facing death has a way of making you think a little differently.”
“That makes no sense. If you believe in kismet, you must believe it was kismet that you were taken.”
“No. Of course not! And could you keep your voice down?”