Chapter XXVIII
"Through coaches, drays, choked turnpikes, and a whirl Of wheels, and roar of voices, and confusion, Here taverns wooing to a pint of 'purl,' There mails fast flying off, like a delusion.
"Through this, and much, and more, is the approach Of travellers to mighty Babylon; Whether they come by horse, or chair, or coach, With slight exceptions, all the ways seem one." BYRON.
When Newton Forster and his father arrived at London, they put up at anobscure inn in the Borough. The next day, Newton set off to discover theresidence of his uncle. The people of the inn had recommended him toapply to some stationer or bookseller, who would allow him to look overa red-book; and, in compliance with these instructions, Newton stoppedat a shop in Fleet-street, on the doors of which was written in largegilt letters--"Law Bookseller." The young men in the shop were verycivil and obliging, and, without referring to the "Guide," immediatelytold him the residence of a man so well known as his uncle, and Newtonhastened in the direction pointed out.
It was one of those melancholy days in which London wears the appearanceof a huge scavenger's cart. A lurid fog and mizzling rain, which hadbeen incessant for the previous twenty-four hours; sloppy pavements, andkennels down which the muddy torrents hastened to precipitate themselvesinto the sewers below; armies of umbrellas, as far as the eye couldreach, now rising, now lowering, to avoid collision; hackney-coaches inactive sloth, their miserable cattle plodding along with their backsarched and heads and tails drooping like barndoor fowls crouching underthe cataract of a gutter; clacking of pattens and pestering of sweepers;not a smile upon the countenance of one individual of the multitudewhich passed him;--all appeared anxiety, bustle, and selfishness. Newtonwas not sorry when he turned down the narrow court which had beenindicated to him, and, disengaged from the throng of men, commenced amore rapid course. In two minutes he was at the door of his uncle'schambers, which, notwithstanding the inclemency of the weather, stoodwide open, as if there should be no obstacle in a man's way, or a singlemoment for reflection allowed him, if he wished to entangle himself inthe expenses and difficulties of the law. Newton furled his weepingumbrella; and, first looking with astonishment at the mud which hadaccumulated above the calves of his legs, raised his eyes to the jambson each side, where in large letters he read at the head of a long listof occupants, "Mr Forster, Ground Floor." A door with Mr Forster's nameon it, within a few feet of him, next caught his eye. He knocked, andwas admitted by the clerk, who stated that his master was at aconsultation, but was expected back in half-an-hour, if he could wait solong. Newton assented, and was ushered into the parlour, where the clerkpresented the newspaper of the day to amuse him until the arrival of hisuncle.
As soon as the door was closed, Newton's curiosity as to the characterof his uncle induced him to scrutinise the apartment and its contents.In the centre of the room, which might have been about fourteen feetsquare, stood a table, with a shadow lamp placed before the only part ofit which was left vacant for the use of the pen. The remainder of thespace was loaded with parchment upon parchment, deed upon deed, paperupon paper. Some, especially those underneath, had become dark anddiscoloured by time; the ink had changed to a dull red, and the imprintof many a thumb inferred how many years they had been in existence, andhow long they had lain there as sad mementos of the law's delay. Otherswere fresh and clean, the japanned ink in strong contrast with theglossy parchment,--new cases of litigation, fresh as the hopes of thosewho had been persuaded by flattering assurances to enter into alabyrinth of vexation, from which, perhaps, not to be extricated untilthese documents should assume the hue of the others, which silentlyindicated the blighted hopes of protracted litigation. Two massive ironchests occupied the walls on each side of the fireplace; and round thewhole area of the room were piled one upon another large tin boxes, onwhich, in legible Roman characters, were written the names of theparties whose property was thus immured. There they stood like so manysepulchres of happiness, mausoleums raised over departed competence;while the names of the parties inscribed appeared as so many registersof the folly and contention of man.
But from all this Newton could draw no other conclusion than that hisuncle had plenty of business. The fire in the grate was on so small ascale, that, although he shivered with the wet and cold, Newton wasafraid to stir it, lest it should go out altogether. From thiscircumstance he drew a hasty and unsatisfactory conclusion that hisuncle was not very partial to spending his money.
But he hardly had time to draw these inferences and then take up thenewspaper, when the door opened, and another party was ushered into theroom by the clerk, who informed him, as he handed a chair, that MrForster would return in a few minutes.
The personage thus introduced was a short young man, with a round face,bushy eyebrows, and dogged countenance, implying wilfulness withoutill-nature. As soon as he entered, he proceeded to divest his throat of alarge shawl, which he hung over the back of a chair; then doffing his greatcoat, which was placed in a similar position, he rubbed his hands, andwalked up to the fire, into which he insinuated the poker, and immediatelydestroyed the small symptoms of combustion which remained, reducing thewhole to one chaos of smoke.
"Better have left it alone, I believe," observed he, reinserting thepoker, and again stirring up the black mass, for the fire was nowvirtually defunct.
"You're not cold, I hope, sir?" said the party, turning to Newton.
"No, sir, not very," replied Newton, good humouredly.
"I thought so; clients never are: nothing like law for _keeping youwarm,_ sir. Always bring on your cause in the winter months. I do, if Ican; for it's positive suffocation in the dog-days!"
"I really never was _at law,_" replied Newton, laughing; "but if ever Ihave the misfortune, I shall recollect your advice."
"Never was at law! I was going to say, what the devil brings you here?but that would have been an impertinent question. Well, sir, do youknow, there was a time at which I never knew what law was," continuedthe young man, seating himself in a chair opposite to Newton. "It wasmany years ago, when I was a younger brother, and had no property: noone took the trouble to go to law with me; for if they gained theircause, there were no effects. Within the last six years I have inheritedconsiderable property, and am always in hot water. I heard that thelawyers say, 'causes produce effects.' I am sure I can say that 'effectshave produced causes!'"
"I am sorry that your good fortune should be coupled with such a drawback."
"Oh, it's nothing! It's just to a man what a clog is to a horse in afield--you know pretty well where to find him. I'm so used to it--indeedso much so, that I should feel rather uncomfortable if I had nothing onmy hands: just keeps me from being idle. I've been into every court inthe metropolis, and have no fault to find with one of them, except theCourt of R------ts."
"And pray, sir, what is that court, and the objection you have to it?"
"Why, as to the court, it's the most confounded ras------; but I must becareful how I speak before strangers: you'll excuse me, sir; not that Isuspect you, but I know what may be considered as a libel. I shall,therefore, just state that it is a court at which no gentleman canappear; and if he does, it's of no use, for he'll never get a verdict inhis favour."
"What, then it is not a court of justice?"
"Court of justice! no, it's a court for the recovery of small debts; butI'll just tell you, sir, exactly what took place with me in that court,and then you will be able to judge for yourself. I had a dog, sir; itwas just after I came into my property; his name was Caesar, and a verygood dog he was. Well, sir, riding out one day about four miles fromtown, a rabbit put his nose out of a cellar, where they retailedpotatoes. Caesar pounced upon him, and the rabbit was dead in a moment.The man who owned the rabbit and the potatoes, came up to me and askedmy name, which I told him; at the same time I expressed my sorrow at theaccident, and advised him in future to keep his rabbits in hutches. Hesaid he would, and demanded three shillings and sixpence fo
r the onewhich the dog had killed. Now, although he was welcome to advice, moneywas quite another thing; so he went one way muttering something aboutlaw, and I another, with Caesar at my heels, taking no notice of histhreat. Well, sir, in a few days my servant came up to say that somebodywished to see me upon _particular_ business, and I ordered him to beshown up. It was a blackguard-looking fellow, who put a piece of dirtypaper in my hand; summoned me to appear at some dog-hole or another, Iforget where. Not understanding the business, I enclosed it to a legalfriend, who returned an answer, that it was a summons to the Court ofR----ts; that no gentleman could go there; and that I had better letthe thing take its course. I had forgotten all about it, when, in a fewdays, a piece of paper was brought to me, by which I found that thecourt adjudged me to pay L1 2s. 6d., for damages and costs. I asked whobrought it, and was told it was the son of the potato-merchant,accompanied by a tipstaff. I requested the pleasure of their company,and asked the legal gentleman what it was for.
"'Eighteen shillings for ten rabbits destroyed by your dog, and 4s. 6d.for costs of court.'
"'Ten rabbits!' exclaimed I; 'why, he only killed one.'
"'Yes, sir,' squeaked out the young potato-merchant; 'but it was a doerabbit in the family way; we counted nine young ones, all killed too!'
"'Shameful!' replied I. 'Pray, sir, did your father tell the court thatthe rabbits were not born?'
"'No, sir; father only said there was one doe rabbit and nine littleones killed. He asked 4s. 6d. for the old one, but only 1s. 6d. a-piecefor the young ones.'
"'You should have been there yourself, sir,' observed the tipstaff.
"'I wish Caesar had left the rabbit alone. So it appears,' replied I, 'heonly asked 3s. 6d. at first; but by this _Caesarean operation_, I amnineteen shillings out of pocket.'--Now, sir, what do you think ofthat?"
"I think that you should exclaim against the dishonesty of thepotato-merchant, rather than the judgment of the court. Had you defendedyour own cause, you might have had justice."
"I don't know that. A man makes a claim against another, and takes hisoath to it; you must then either disprove it, or pay the sum; your ownoath is of no avail against his. I called upon my legal friend, and toldhim how I had been treated, and he then narrated the followingcircumstance, which will explain what I mean:--
"He told me that he never knew of but one instance in which arespectable person had gained his cause, and in which, he was ashamed tosay, that he was a party implicated. The means resorted to were asfollows:--A Jew upholsterer sent in a bill to a relation of his for achest of drawers, which had never been purchased or received. Refusingto pay, he was summoned to the Court of R----ts. Not knowing how toact, he applied to my informant, who, being under some obligations tohis relative, did not like to refuse.
"'I am afraid that you will have to pay,' said the attorney to hisrelation, when he heard the story.
"'But I never had them, I can swear to it.'
"'That's of no consequence; he will bring men to swear to the delivery.There are hundreds about the court who are ready to take any oath, athalf a crown a-head; and that will be sufficient. But, to oblige you, Iwill see what I can do.'
"They parted, and, in a day or two my legal acquaintance called upon hisrelation, and told him that he had gained his cause. 'Rather at theexpense of my conscience, I must acknowledge,' continued he; 'but onemust fight these scoundrels with their own weapons.'
"'Well, and how was it?' inquired the other.
"'Why, as I prophesied, he brought three men forward, who swore to thedelivery of the goods. Aware that this would be the case, I had providedthree others, who swore to their having been witness to the _payment ofthe bill_! This he was not prepared for; and the verdict was given inyour favour.'"
"Is it possible," exclaimed Newton, "that such a court of Belial can existin England?"
"Even so; and as there is no appeal, pray keep out of it. For my--"
But here the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Mr JohnForster, who had returned from his consultation.
We have already described Mr John Forster's character; we have now only tointroduce his person. Mr John Forster was about the middle height, ratherinclined to corpulency, but with great show of muscular strength. His blacknether garments and silk stockings fitted a leg which might have beenenvied by a porter, and his breadth of shoulder was extreme. He had aslouch, probably contracted by long poring over the desk; and his addresswas as abrupt as his appearance was unpolished. His forehead was large andbald, eye small and brilliant, and his cheeks had dropped down so as toincrease the width of his lower jaw. Deep, yet not harsh, lines wereimprinted on the whole of his countenance, which indicated inflexibilityand self-possession.
"Good morning, gentlemen," said he, as he entered the room; "I hope youhave not been waiting long. May I request the pleasure of knowing whocame first? 'First come, first served,' is an old motto."
"I _believe_ this gentleman came first," replied the young man.
"Don't you _know_, sir? Is it only a _believe_?"
"I did arrive first, sir," said Newton; "but as I am not here upon legalbusiness, I had rather wait until this gentleman has spoken to you."
"Not upon legal business--humph!" replied Mr Forster, eyeing Newton."Well, then, if that is the case, do me the favour to sit down in theoffice until I have communicated with this gentleman."
Newton, taking up his hat, walked out of the door, which was opened byMr Forster, and sat down in the next room until he should be summoned.Although the door between them was closed, it was easy to hear thesound of the voices within. For some minutes they fell upon Newton'sears; that of the young man like the loud yelping of a cur; that of hisuncle like the surly growl of some ferocious beast. At last the dooropened:
"But, sir," cried the young man, _in alto_.
"_Pay_, sir, _pay_! I tell you, _pay_!" answered the lawyer, in astentorian voice.
"But he has cheated me, sir!"
"Never mind--pay!"
"Charged twice their value, sir!"
"I tell you, pay!"
"But, sir, such imposition!"
"I have told you twenty times, sir, and now tell you again--and for thelast time--_pay_!"
"Won't you take up my cause, sir, then?"
"No, sir! I have given you advice, and will not pick your pocket!--Goodmorning, sir:" and Mr Forster, who had backed his client out of the room,shut the door in his face, to prevent further discussion.
The young man looked a moment at the door after it was closed, and thenturned round to Newton.
"If yours is really law business, take my advice, don't stay to see him;I'll take you to a man who _is_ a lawyer. Here you'll get no law atall."
"Thankye," replied Newton, laughing; "but mine really is not lawbusiness."
The noise of the handle of the door indicated that Mr Forster was aboutto re-open it to summon Newton; and the young man, with a hasty goodmorning, brushed by Newton and hastened into the street.
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