Worse was how when she reached for her mana core, it was out of reach. It was like something had erected a glass wall around her mana, leaving her unable to do more than sense its presence. With the wind blowing her tattered hair around, her ear tip having gone entirely numb, and unable to so much as feel her toes, Ruethwyn could hardly imagine a bleaker place to be and she could almost feel her determination cracking.
She couldn’t see the portal anymore, and she couldn’t tell how long it had been. An intense blizzard had descended on her, obscuring almost everything but the path she was following. It was strange that the path wasn’t hidden, with as much snow as was falling, sticking to her dress and body, but Ruethwyn couldn’t spare the concentration to wonder more than that.
Every step was heavy and took longer than Ruethwyn wanted it to, and she was quickly beginning to wonder how far she could go. With her teeth chattering, Ruethwyn murmured. “W-why am I even out h-here? He was g-going to tell me a p-price… but Zaria is w-waiting. S-she believed in m-me…”
The thought helped propel her onward, one step after another landing in the fresh snow. Her feet were numb now, and Ruethwyn knew that was bad, but there was little else she could do.
A glimpse of light from ahead of Ruethwyn caused a spark of hope to flicker through her, but she quickly forced it down, shuddering as another burst of wind stole a little more warmth from her body. For all she knew, it might be a trick of the light, not her destination at all. Still, her pace quickened as she began to hope.
The light grew brighter as she approached, warm and yellow, a color she hadn’t seen here before, and Ruethwyn forced herself to break into a near-run. Moments later something caught one of her feet and she went sprawling into the snow. It was strange because the snow almost felt like it was comfortable against her freezing cheeks. It took a few long seconds before Ruethwyn could gather the energy to slowly force herself back to her feet, barely able to feel them beneath her. A single glimpse of her feet made Ruethwyn flinch, seeing the blue-gray skin that covered them. She didn’t think she’d been out for that long, but there was no way to know for sure.
Slowly she began staggering forward, and as she did so, two things emerged from the frozen landscape. In the far distance was a palace of ice, one so much like the glowing ice she’d seen in the tower of Valisair, yet the palace itself was like multiple delicate spires extending into the sky in the distance, nestled into the mountainside far ahead of her. Nearby, though, was an inn crafted of logs and with glass windows. Ahead of her on the left, the windows shed a warm light and she could hear laughter and smell food from within. The sight of the building was so welcoming that Ruethwyn almost broke into a run again.
Even a moment of warmth would be so incredibly welcome, and Ruethwyn quickly approached, looking at the door and seeing the multiple figures inside it. Primarily elves, but there were a few humans and—
The sight of a brown-haired man through the window brought Ruethwyn to a sudden, jarring halt. He wasn’t that handsome, and he had a regular enough build, but Ruethwyn would recognize him anywhere, and she breathed softly. “Dad?”
As she watched, the frozen wind almost forgotten, Beran laughed and hugged a slightly taller woman, this one with near-black hair done up in a braid, giving her a quick kiss. Ruethwyn felt tears welling up in her eyes as her mother gave one her rare smiles, and the tears froze only halfway down her cheeks.
Others from the village were inside the inn as well, Ruethwyn realized. She saw Anara’s father, playing the lute he loved so much, while Anara danced in front of the fireplace. The urge to go to them was almost overwhelming, just to see them again, to talk to her parents…
But then Ruethwyn looked at the horizon, to where she could see the glittering palace. It was so far away, and she was so tired. She was cold and feared that soon her feet would be frozen through entirely. She might not die, but that wouldn’t prevent frostbite or worse. Looking back at the inn, Ruethwyn’s indecision grew, and she took a step toward the inn… and stopped, looking at the edge of the path.
The path which she’d been warned not to leave, lest she forfeit its protection. A path which led to someone who she didn’t know anything about, but who might help her. So many ifs and mights, and only if she could reach it, despite the cold and suffering around her. Ruethwyn looked up again, her heart feeling almost like it was being torn in two as she looked at her parents again… and she closed her eyes as more tears froze on her cheeks, remembering those who’d supported her.
Memories welled up, of the moment that Tadrick had charged the hellhounds in the dormitory basement, trusting Ruethwyn’s explanations. The look of terrified concentration on Sella’s face as she cast her healing spells after Ruethwyn had been shot. The firm determination of Korima as she’d insisted that Ruethwyn couldn’t be left alone, that she needed company, that she needed friends and perhaps something more. The thought of them kindled just a bit of warmth inside, and Ruethwyn opened her eyes again to look at the inn.
It hadn’t changed in those moments, but somehow the lights weren’t as welcoming. Ruethwyn swallowed hard, and slowly she murmured softly. “Oh, I wish I could come and see you all… but this can’t be real. Mother and Father have passed on, and Anara yet lives. It’s not time yet.”
Almost as if in response to her words, a gust of wind blew, the snow on it obscuring all sight and sending another shiver of pain through Ruethwyn as she closed her eyes. When the wind died, she opened her eyes again, and the inn was gone.
Instead of the inn, she saw a lake, its surface unfrozen despite the incredible cold surrounding it, the surface dark and calm. The only things that broke the surface of the lake were dozens of budding flowers, each larger than a person and looking almost like water lilies. Beyond the lake was a forest of pine trees, and she looked at them in brief confusion, then felt almost colder as she realized what would have happened if she’d gone into the inn.
Without a word Ruethwyn turned and began down the path again, trying to huddle into her dress as best she could. The memories of her friends were a welcome warmth, and one she clung to.
The palace was farther away than it looked at first, Ruethwyn realized as she fell into the snow again, her legs unable to keep moving. What she’d thought were the front gates must have simply been part of the architecture, unless the doors were dozens of feet tall. This time she fell because she could barely feel her legs anymore, and Ruethwyn was simply so incredibly tired. An enormous part of her wanted to simply close her eyes and go to sleep.
Another part of her was screaming that if she closed her eyes, that’d be the end, but Ruethwyn couldn’t help herself. Even if the palace she’d seen was only a half-mile away, she probably wouldn’t make it there, not now.
“So that’s it? This is as far as your determination will take you?” The tart words were derisive but also filled with disappointment, and Ruethwyn’s eyes went wide as she managed to focus on the speaker.
Essryl stood right there, frowning at Ruethwyn and tapping her foot slowly. Ruethwyn took a moment to speak, even the chattering of her teeth stilled now, shock almost overwhelming her. “E-Essryl? What are you…?”
“Where’s the fire that I saw in you? Where’s the determination which drove you to attack me under the worst possible circumstances, which has driven you this far? Where’s the willpower that I saw in you, Ruethwyn?” Essryl demanded, ignoring Ruethwyn’s whispered words. “Are you just going to sit there and fail, or are you going to work and strive? Are you going to get up and move onward so you can attempt to rescue your beloved, or are you going to let her slowly lose all hope, to let her rot in prison in fear of being eaten by a dragon? I saw so much in you, and yet you’re just laying there. So get up. Don’t you dare disappoint me.”
“B-but…” Ruethwyn began, shrinking back slightly at the tongue-lashing, but at the same time she woke slightly, and as she did so, she realized that Essryl wasn’t really there. There were no footprints beneath the dark elf’s
figure, and snow wasn’t sticking to her. But even so… Anara. How could Ruethwyn forget her? How could she forget what Resvarygrath had done to Sinera? How could she give up? No. No, she wouldn’t.
The thought seemed to ignite a fire inside Ruethwyn’s veins, and heat began to flow through her. It took Ruethwyn several moments to realize that the heat wasn’t figurative, and then her eyes went wide as she began to burn from within.
The fire smoldered at first, and Ruethwyn twitched and shuddered as it began to spread through her body, as numbness and freezing cold gave way to burning flames. It wasn’t powerful, not at first, and Ruethwyn closed her eyes as she reached for it… and recoiled mentally. The fire was wrapped around her mana veins and core, and it was feeding on the mana which seeped through the fractures covering her veins and mana core. More importantly, she could see that it wasn’t just fire, but golden-white flames.
Inspiration washed over her, and Ruethwyn’s eyes opened as she breathed out, remembering what Ironcrown had said about her. “Kissed by dragon fire… and my blood was the only one they were interested in. I have fire within me. Fire in my blood.”
A thread of fear washed over Ruethwyn because she could feel the fire beginning to burn out of control. Soon her body would begin to burn in truth, but only if she couldn’t control it. If she could control it… then she’d be able to make it farther. Then her journey wouldn’t end here.
Reaching out for the flames, Ruethwyn unconsciously extended her hand, but as she did, the mental touch flinched back. Even as tired and exhausted as she was, her deep-seated fear of fire hadn’t vanished. Resvarygrath’s flames were almost worse, and that tiny, flickering flame within her was the essence of his fire, so when it seared her consciousness… Ruethwyn couldn’t help but retreat slightly. But as she retreated, another memory rose, one of a lesson she’d had years before.
She remembered Sinera sitting in a chair opposite from Ruethwyn with a serious expression on her face, her voice gentle. “Fire both gives and takes, Rue. It consumes wood to create heat and will consume almost anything if given half a chance. Many people fear it because it can be so deadly, yet at the same time, in the depths of winter, it’s needed to give us life. Fire is a duality, a tool that needs to be controlled lest it cut that which you don’t wish to cut. It can be your greatest ally or your worst enemy, and everything depends on your ability to control it. Do not fear fire, Rue. If you fear it, you can’t understand and accept it. Let the fire permeate you, but don’t let it burn you. That’s the nature of fire where atavism is concerned.”
It was hard, remembering that. But at the same time… Ruethwyn couldn’t let things end here. She murmured softly, a couple of tears freezing on her cheeks again. “Sorry, teacher. I forgot your lessons. I can’t touch my mana… but I’ll try. I promise, I’ll try.”
Attempting to reach the right mindset for atavism was hard, made even worse by how she didn’t have access to her mana. The pain of the fire burning within her was almost worse, because now her extremities were tingling painfully and all of it impacted her ability to reach the right mindset. Still, she had years of practice, and slowly Ruethwyn pushed all distractions aside and forced herself into a state of serenity. Only in that state could she use atavism properly. Without her ability to control mana, her only chance was if she could somehow integrate the fire into her like she did with an elemental. It was risky, but the only chance she had.
For a moment, Ruethwyn didn’t think it’d work as she mentally created the formation within her body. The fire trembled but didn’t move for several long moments. Then slowly, it began to swirl as it was sucked into her, and Ruethwyn gasped. Heat surged through her as fire blazed through her veins, this time not burning her, though the sudden rejection of cold through her body caused rippling sparks of agony. This wasn’t a summoning, she realized, but pure elemental energy, and it wasn’t as refined and easily controlled as an elemental was. That didn’t mean she couldn’t control it, though, and as her will clamped down, Ruethwyn let out a sigh of relief as the heat cooled slightly and as the flames burning within her were extinguished at last.
It was then that she realized she was damp, her body tingling and hurting as she warmed up. When Ruethwyn put her hand down into the snow, she found slush and water… and looked down to see that where she was laying, the snow had melted into slush, soaking her dress. Ruethwyn glanced down at her hand, then looked away, not wanting to see the mottled red and white. The signs of frostbite were obvious and she refused to look, especially now that her mind was clear again.
Looking around, Ruethwyn smiled sadly as she looked at the snowstorm, then at the palace ahead of her. Practically cradling the fire burning within her, Ruethwyn felt the fear she’d had fade still more. Fire was simply fire. It wasn’t her enemy, and she shouldn’t have treated it that way.
“I’m not done yet. Thank you, teacher. You always knew what to say,” Ruethwyn said softly, pushing herself to her feet.
She continued the walk toward the glittering palace, and as she did so, each footprint left puddles of water that quickly turned to ice in her wake.
Chapter 43
The palace was bigger than it’d looked, Ruethwyn realized at last on reaching it. It was hundreds of feet tall, and the spires that’d looked so delicate as she approached were truthfully enormous. The glowing blue walls might have been ice, but they also could have been diamonds, and as Ruethwyn approached the gates the blizzard came to an abrupt end, the clouds parting to reveal an endless blue sky beyond the palace that slowly shifted to red toward the horizon. A tiny part of Ruethwyn wondered if that was where the border to the plane of fire might be, but it was mostly an idle thought.
She reached up to knock on the doors, but as Ruethwyn’s hand touched them the vast gates slowly swung open before her to reveal a vast, icy antechamber. She’d expected a courtyard, but this one was fully enclosed, with chandeliers above and strange tapestries she didn’t recognize along the walls, along with numerous exits. Across from her, up two sweeping flights of stairs that curved gracefully along the outer walls of the chamber, were a pair of ornate silver doors.
More importantly, standing only a few feet inside the room was Zaria, with two similarly dressed fey of the same type as her a step behind the nymph. Zaria was smiling as she nodded to Ruethwyn. “Welcome to the Palace of the Northern Wind, Ruethwyn. I’d hoped you would make it but feared the worst when I saw the intensity of the blizzard this time.”
The instant she saw Zaria, Ruethwyn felt a sudden weight of power hit her, a pressure that almost knocked her over. It was pure power, and Ruethwyn felt her knees quiver before she managed to steady herself again. She adapted to the weight fairly quickly, though the power made moving forward more difficult.
“Zaria?” Ruethwyn blinked at her, then took an unsteady step inside, shivering as she added, “You were right to worry. I fell into a snowbank not far from here… if I hadn’t managed to draw on the fire in my blood, I wouldn’t have been able to get up. Even so, it nearly killed me.”
“The fire…?” Zaria began, her eyebrows furrowing for a moment, then they rose suddenly. “Ah! The dragon fire! I see indeed. Not something that I would have considered, but well done. I must say, you’ve done well. Even your teacher barely reached the gates.”
Ruethwyn nearly lost control, especially with how she was barely keeping herself on her feet. They hurt terribly at this point, but she swallowed her pain and asked, wincing as she took another step forward and the doors began closing behind her. “Sinera… she came here?”
“Yes. She barely made it, and the storm wasn’t as powerful,” Zaria agreed, then smiled. “Now, you have two choices, Rue. You can stop here and have the curse removed, or you can choose to continue. There is some risk to the latter, but the test is to see if someone is capable of continuing beyond the gates.”
“Should I?” Ruethwyn asked, weariness almost overwhelming her. She’d walked far enough that morning, then there’d been the Tow
er Lord, followed by the blizzard, and now the weight of power pressing on her. She didn’t know how far she’d walked, but there was almost nothing she wanted more than to sleep. “I’m exhausted, Zaria.”
“That’s up to you, Ruethwyn. I cannot tell you more.” Zaria replied, her smile fading into worry. “I’d like to. I simply can’t. Not about what awaits you, nor about Sinera. If she didn’t tell you about her deeds, then they will remain unknown.”
“Very well,” Ruethwyn said, but despite her words, she’d already decided. She’d come this far, what was a few more steps, even under the weight of power resting on her shoulders? Looking up the stairs, she took another step and hissed in pain.
Zaria watched her go, somewhat to Ruethwyn’s surprise. Slowly, one step at a time, she ascended the stairs and approached the second set of doors. It took a long time as a stab of agony lanced through her feet with every step, made worse by how deliberate the power pressing on her made each step. Ruethwyn’s hand wasn’t much better, but she held the railing as she ascended bit by bit, focusing on nothing but each additional step.
When she reached the top of the stairs, Ruethwyn looked at the silver doors, each engraved with the images of dragons, their eyes indicated by sapphire jewels. After a moment, she approached them, and at the brush of her hand, they swung open. The woman on the other side made her stop, though, as Ruethwyn’s eyes went huge, and she nearly lost her hold on the fire in her veins as another wave of power hit her.
The silver-skinned woman on the other side of the door was beautiful, beyond almost anything Ruethwyn could imagine, and her hair was a deep cerulean that fell down her back in beautiful curls, while her eyes looked like the irises were made of pale ice that glowed like the palace. She stood taller than Ruethwyn and wore a deep blue gown that reached the floor, and at the sight of Ruethwyn she smiled slightly, her sheer presence oozing immense magic that made Zaria’s pressure feel minor by comparison. Her knees buckled under the pressure as she nearly lost her balance, but Ruethwyn held herself upright, if only barely.
Queen of Ice (Through the Fire Book 2) Page 36