by Shawn James
“Er…I was just checking out what the esthetician did to my bikini line.” I say.
“Looks like Lin did a good job on you.” Grand Mother Flowers says. “Now you meet the Theta standard for Vanity.”
Crap, she caught a peek. “That’s what Abby says. I think I’m ready for bikini season.”
“Good. Bikini Saturday is three weeks from now.”
Nice to know about the party in advance. I brought a Chanel Two–piece I can’t wait to get into. “Are you going to wear one?”
Grand Mother Flowers smiles at me. “I’m a little old for that kind of thing. But I think you’ll have fun.”
Grand Mother Flowers gives me an earnest look as she gets back to business. “If you’re finished with your little fun, I wanted to talk to you about some things.”
“Am I in trouble about…my little fun time?”
“No, you should enjoy your body.” Grand Mother Flowers answers “But in the future I’d suggest you close the door.”
“I thought there were no secrets in the Theta house–”
“There are no secrets between Theta sisters, but we understand the need to be discreet. Now if you’ll get dressed I want to go over the House rules with you.”
Whew. I thought she was going to make me stand here naked. “Just give me a minute.”
Grand Mother Flowers nods her head as I grab my clothes and hurry into the bathroom. I quickly get dressed and rush back over to my bed and have a seat next to her. She looks like the kind of woman who only says things once so I better make sure I understand what she’s saying.
“When you are in the Theta House you are to be dressed in professional attire at all times unless instructed not to by myself or one of the Dean Mothers.” Grand Mother Flowers starts. “And when you are out with your Theta Sisters you are to be dressed in professional attire unless directed by the Dean Mothers or myself. “Any time you are not wearing a skirt suit, dress, or heels during Theta affairs you will be penalized.”
“What are the penalties?”
“If you’re out of attire during Theta business affairs on a regular day you’ll wash all the dishes for the day and mop the kitchen floor the next day. If you come out of the suite out of attire during a social event you’ll do all the dishes for that event, and clean the kitchen and the bathrooms afterward. And you’ll have to clean the bathroom floors with a toothbrush.”
Ouch. That sounds rough. Having seen the kitchen and bathroom after Daddy’s dinners at the penthouse I don’t want to think about cleaning a bathroom after a party. Having cleaned the bathroom and kitchen after one of Daddy’s dinners at the penthouse I don’t want to think about cleaning a bathroom after a party. Especially with a toothbrush.
“What are the hours of Theta affairs?”
“We conduct business on the estate from nine to eight on most days. However, on some days our business goes later on into the evening and sometimes into the night. But after eight on you may wear whatever you wish on a regular day.”
I don’t think Aunt Margaret bought any new casual clothes in my new wardrobe. And at that hour it wouldn’t be worth it to change into them. I’d probably get right into pajamas so close to bedtime.
“I’ll probably stay in my suit until bedtime.”
“If that’s what you feel comfortable in. Just make sure to keep your dress attire crisp. If you come out on the Theta House floor or during Theta affairs in a dirty or a wrinkled suit you’ll have to pay for all the sisters’ dry cleaning for the entire week. Two times and you’ll be paying for all our dry cleaning for the term of pledging. Three times and you’ll pay for all our dry cleaning and polishing our shoes.”
“Rosa picks up clothes for dry cleaning on Fridays and it’ll be delivered to your room on Monday.” Grand Mother Flowers continues. “You have a hamper for dry cleaning in the walk–in closet next to your space in there.”
Grand Mother Flowers reaches over for the pile of clothes and hands them to me. “These are your gym clothes. They are only to be worn when you’re exercising in the gym or when running on the paths in the mornings.”
“We have a gym?”
“It’s in the basement. Down there we’ve got weight machines, treadmills and a full basketball court. All your workouts are to be done before eight A.M. and I expect you to be in business attire for breakfast in the dining room at eight thirty.”
I can keep up with that schedule; it’s similar to what I was doing at NYU. The early morning workouts get them out of the way and keeps me energized for the rest of the day.
I examine my new gym clothes. Looks like I have a wardrobe of looks to choose from. A salmon colored T–shirt, a White T–shirt and a lime green one, a gray one, along with a series of sport bras, panties and sport socks. All the T–shirts have the Theta letters on them. The shorts are in the same colors but with white stripes down the side seams. I even have a pair of Nike running shoes in the Theta colors. “I can mix and match these?”
“As long as they’re clean.” Grand Mother Flowers answers. “Before you go to exercise anywhere you’ll put on clean gym clothes and sport underwear. Now I don’t care if you press them, but make sure they are washed before you go to work out.”
“What if they aren’t?”
“You’ll wash all our gym clothes for a week.” Grand Mother Flowers says. “Now Rosa does your laundry every Tuesday, and your personal hamper is in the bathroom. That’s where you’ll put your lingerie and gym clothes.”
I jump off the bed and put the shorts up to me. I’m surprised when the hem only hits the top of my thigh. “These shorts are a little short, aren’t they?”
“They make your legs stand out.” Grand Mother Flowers says. “And you’ll need freedom of movement when you run.”
Guess they won’t be that bad for running around the estate. Not like there are any guys to ogle me here so I can get away with the short shorts.
“Dr. Reed is putting you on a cardio program starting tomorrow. She expects you to meet her six thirty tomorrow morning on the patio to start training with her.”
Knowing them I’ll probably be pushed until I drop. “Guess I don’t get to sleep in.” I say as I sit back down on the bed.
“We’ve only got eight weeks to get you into shape.”Grand Mother Flowers retorts. “After you finish training with her tomorrow, you’ll have a few days off until Slipdress Sunday.”
“After experiencing your challenges I’ll probably need that time to recover from getting worked over.”
Grand Mother Flowers pats me on the back. “Dr. Reed isn’t going to kill you. So what do you plan to do on your days off?”
“Maybe spend some time watching TV. Or sleep in.”
“If that’s what you want to do, that’s fine with me.” Grand Mother Flowers continues. “But if you want to talk to anyone, we’re here for you. And if you want to go somewhere like the movies, Rumsfeld will take you. Just be back here before eleven. And if you choose to date this summer, no men are to be brought back to the Theta House. If you bring one back here we will terminate your Pledgship and send you home.”
I did take an oath not to say anything about what goes on here. And bringing someone back here would be tantamount to treason. Well, it’s not like I have much going on in the dating world. I just want to get through these next few weeks in one piece.
“And around here we all go to Church on Sunday. I expect you to be downstairs in the vestibule at nine thirty in your suit on Sunday mornings.”
“Isn’t this Slipdress Sunday?”
“That’s in the afternoon. You’ll shower and change for it after Church.”
At least I won’t have a string up my butt all day. Grand Mother Flowers hands me a white hardcover book with the Theta letter inscribed on it in gold. “This is your Theta Manual. It details the history of our sisterhood, our mission, and our core values. Study it, because in three weeks you’ll be tested on it.”
“There’s not going to be a Taser involved if I a
nswer anything wrong?”
Grand Mother Flowers smiles at me. “You know you would have walked out of there if you hadn’t started spouting that progressive nonsense.”
I give her a look. “So what I said got me shot?”
“You said you were the strong independent Black woman. I wanted to show you how foolish that ideology was.”
And it was a lesson learned. Painfully. Reflecting on last night I was pretty arrogant standing there buck naked in their house boasting how I was going to be a strong independent Black woman who did things on her own. I’m lucky my big mouth didn’t get me kicked out of here.
“I just grew up thinking that was what a Black woman was supposed to be–”
“God didn’t put woman here alone Colleen.” Grand Mother Flowers says. “Nor did he intend for her to do anything by herself. Her job was always to be the help meet of man.”
“It just sounds so subservient–”
“How is it subservient?” Grand Mother Flowers continues. “This is the order that God established. “You’re not telling God that He’s wrong are you?”
I look up and re–think the statement I was going to make about this being a different time. I don’t want to get hit with a lightning bolt.
“So you’re telling me everything I learned growing up is a lie?”
“You would have known that if you read your Bible regularly.”
“Okay, I’ll admit to being a lousy Christian. But how am I supposed to take over Daddy’s company if all I’m supposed to do is be a companion to a man?”
“Look, I didn’t say you couldn’t work. And there’s nothing wrong with you having a job or working in your father’s business. But you’ve got understand that your greatest role in this world is to support man in doing God’s work.”
“I thought studying feminism and learning to be independent would help me become a better leader–”
“You’d sabotage yourself by following that progressive nonsense.”Grand Mother Flowers dismisses.
“What’s wrong with showing that I can do the same work as a man? That I can do things on my own?”
“Don’t you see the contradictions in what you just said? How can you lead people on your own? How can you run a business of three hundred employees by being independent of them?”
“I thought when I took over the company I was going to be by myself.”
“Has your father ever told you that you were going to do it on your own?
“That’s the way things are going.”
“Colleen, Jack didn’t start Anderson Financial on his own. Nor does he keep it running on his own. Your mother, myself, and all those Theta Sisters were working behind the scenes helping him every day alongside those men he employs.”
“But I never saw any of those women doing anything important. They were just secretaries and office managers. Even my Mom was just an accounts manager before she quit working for Daddy to take care of me.”
Grand Mother Flowers smiles at me as she puts her arm around me. “You’re selling your mother short.”
“Mom just did basic accounting. What was so special about that?”
“I’d have to say Millie’s work was the most valuable of all at Anderson Financial. She brought you into this world.”
“I just thought by being a feminist I could honor her–”
“How can you honor your mother by trying to be like your father?”
“I never said I wanted to be like my father–”
“You said you wanted to do the same work as a man.”
Ouch. Please stop hitting me in the ego. I still need to change the ice packs. The swelling was just starting to go down from the beating Abby gave it last night.
“If I’m going to be CEO, I’m doing the same work as a man–”
“Not necessarily. A woman can still be a woman and be a CEO.”
“Isn’t that what feminism teaches women?”
“Colleen, the problem with feminism is that it devalues what’s unique about being a woman.” Grand Mother Flowers continues. “And it tells a woman that she has to find her value in trying to be like a man. That’s totally against the natural order of God.”
“So I’m dishonoring my mother’s memory by being a feminist?”
“You’re dishonoring yourself by imbibing the false teachings of feminism. God gave women a valuable role in this world. And feminism teaches a woman not to appreciate what makes her different. That her natural role of being a help meet and companion to a man is wrong. That her work of supporting a man in doing God’s work is worthless. That she needs to be like a man to find value in herself. It leaves women lost, confused and in most cases alone and isolated.”
“Like me.”
“Like you would have been had you continued on imbibing those progressive values. But I think you can unlearn what you’ve been taught.”
“That’s a tall order for eight weeks.”
“We fixed Abby in less than four.”
I snicker at her revelation. Man, this is really fascinating. I’m learning more here from her than I did in my Women’s studies classes at NYU. I wonder if she teaches a class at a university somewhere. “So how is feminism a false teaching?”
“It’s a false teaching because it’s an ideology that lies to women by telling them that they’re doing things on their own when they actually aren’t.”
“So who’s helping us?”
“Look around you. All those strong independent Black women you see doing it on their own were helped by a man. A White man named Uncle Sam.”
“How does the government help Black women?”
“With progressive social programs like Welfare, Food Stamps, college grants, public housing, and student loans.”
“But what about the ones who get jobs?”
“Who hires them?” Grand Mother Flowers laughs. “White Men.”
“But because those strong independent Black women can’t see Uncle Sam and his White Men manipulating things in their favor, they think they’re doing it on their own.” Grand Mother Flowers continues. “They delude themselves into believing that they are strong and independent when in actuality they are very dependent on a group of White Men for their very existence.”
“Wow. I didn’t know it was that deep.”
“It’s a lot deeper than you think. The goal of those social programs and the false teachings of White Women’s Liberation were to separate the Black man from the Black woman and place an enmity between them. With the Black woman dependent on the White Man’s government programs, she sees no value in her Black man, the leader God gave her to support. With her looking to the government as her god instead of trusting in the living God, she belittles, degrades, and ultimately abandons her man.”
“And he falls between the cracks of racism and discrimination.” It sounds like Willie Lynch strikes again.”
“His insidious tactics of divide and conquer are proven successes among our people. Especially when they’re modified to be so subtle that one can’t see how they affect the politics transpiring around us.”
“This sounds like a repackaging of slavery.”
“It is slavery. Slavery of the mind. Unfortunately, most Black women over the past thirty–five years have been brainwashed not to see it.”
“Making us the help meet in our own oppression.”
“Not to mention the perfect overseer over the Black community for Uncle Sam. These brainwashed women are so obsessed with maintaining the little power given to them by their White master that they sacrifice their sons to him every day.”
“Then those same women complain that they can’t find a man.” I say. “The irony is they don’t see the man who’s already taking care of them is the same one who is oppressing them.”
“And because the strong independent Black woman is dependent on the White god’s pittance for her physical survival it keeps her from giving her Black man what he needs to live.”
“But why does a man need a woman i
f she can make her own money and he can make his own money?”
“Colleen, there’s more to this than economics. This is a disruption of God’s natural order. Putting both the Black man and the Black woman on separate paths that are reprobate and distancing them away from God’s true purpose for them.”
“Forcing them on paths that are depraved and sinful. Looking for things in themselves that they can only find in each other.”
Grand Mother Flowers nods her head in agreement with me. “I think you’re getting it.”
“I think you’re a good teacher.”
“God made woman to help man do His work.” Grand Mother Flowers continues. “And man without his help meet can’t fulfill his purpose. Without his woman a man has no one to inspire him, uplift him, and motivate him to try when he’d give up. To give him hope. To give him the courage he needs to push himself when he’s down. To support him and give him ideas when he’s frustrated about being stuck.”
“Wow. I never knew a woman did so much for a man.”
“You’re just a baby.”Grand Mother Flowers comforts. “You’ve probably haven’t even had a serious boyfriend yet.”
“I haven’t even been on three dates yet.” I snicker. “I mean, I just thought a wife was just there to have sex with him, have his children, and take care of his home.”
“That’s what Madison Avenue and Hollywood wants you to think a woman’s role is. No, a woman’s role is much greater than that in her man’s life. A good woman can help a man focus and get him in the right direction. She can light a fire in his heart and give him the passion he needs to motivate himself towards doing things he never thought he could on his own.”
“Seems like a woman’s role in the world pretty much benefits the man.”
“Oh, you get benefits too. A good man can uplift a woman’s spirits, inspire her and make her feel loved. He lights a fire in her soul as well. With his love and support he can give her the confidence she needs to do the things she never thought possible as well.”
“Sounds like the only way I can find strength is through supporting a man.”
“And that’s the way God intended it to be. Only when a man and a woman come together as one can they do God’s work and fulfill their purpose in this life. When Eve did things on her own all it did was plunge the world into sin.”