by Harper Wylde
Killian sat down on the edge of the bed, his jaw clenched tight and his hands shaking as they reached up to stroke my hair back behind my ears. I prepared myself for the contact and was proud when I didn’t flinch. Instead, my Phoenix cooed with contentment. “You scared the bloody hell out of me, Annie girl.”
“Annie?” A part of me was skeptical about the nickname. Another part of me glowed with warmth at the idea that he cared enough to give me a nickname at all.
He chuckled and twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. “Does it bother you when I call you that?” Slowly I shook my head as I pulled my hair from his grasp. I paused for a moment before pulling my long hair into my line of sight.
“Why is my hair clean?” Ok, admittedly, that sounded dumb and was probably the least important question I could ask. I tried to give myself a break, realizing that I was still in pain and out of it. This time they all chuckled.
“You thought we wouldn’t take care of you? You’re also in clean pajamas. We’ve been doing the I.V. We couldn’t wake you, but we could do our best to make you comfortable and keep you clean and healthy.” Damien was smiling, rubbing his hand over the dark stubble that had grown on his jaw. It was a damn good look on him. A part of me was pleased, but I couldn’t block the wave of fear that rushed over me as well. “It’s okay, Nix. You were dressed while we washed your hair. Rini changed your clothes. None of us touched you that way.” I couldn’t help the blush that rose in my cheeks. My mental barriers were lowered, but even so, I realized that my ability to project my thoughts to Damien was stronger than it had been before my rebirth. I wasn’t even trying to project, and he seemed to be picking up on everything I was thinking and feeling. On the one hand, I was feeling the lack of privacy, but on the other, my Phoenix and I were preening at the thought of being more connected to Damien and the others.
Ryder came in, a small tray loaded with food and drinks. “It was a compromise. As long as we could keep you clean and at least hydrated here, we would hold off on taking you to the hospital at the commune. If you’d slept much longer we wouldn’t have been able to provide adequate care here with the I.V. You’ve lost a lot of weight as it is.” He grumbled the final sentence at me, placing the tray over my legs. Carafes of water and orange juice were carefully balanced among a stack of toast, a plate of scrambled eggs, a small jar of jam, and a bowl of sliced fruit. Wow, I had expected a bowl of cereal…
Damien scoffed. “Like I’d let you eat that sugary garbage. You need nutrition, not sugar coated cardboard.” I giggled in response and the mood slightly lifted in the room in reaction to the sound.
I could feel how much my clothes were bagging on me and I realized he was right. I took a small bite of the eggs and winced. Apparently, Damien hadn’t been joking before when he’d said there was a reason he was the cook. Tiny bits of shell, scorched egg, and more salt than I believed was possible coated the inside of my mouth. I swallowed rapidly, chugging some of the juice. Damien coughed to cover a chuckle, and Ryder pouted.
Scooting the eggs aside I focused on the toast, loading slices with blackberry jam. I was starving. Now that I knew everyone was alright—although I couldn’t wait to get my eyes on Theo—I took time to think through all my other questions. The most pressing one was “what the hell had happened” and “where the fuck is Michael”? My Phoenix hissed angrily when that name ran through my thoughts. I tried to sort through the memories, arranging them and trying to piece the puzzle together from the fragments I had. I remembered Michael showing up and him cutting me with that knife while forcing stuff down my throat. I remembered dying in Ryder’s arms. “I’m so sorry that Theo got hurt. Did Michael injure anyone else?” I could barely force the words out of my dry throat. I had done exactly what I feared—led danger to their door—and while I knew they were alive, that didn’t mean they hadn’t been hurt while they were defending me. I was sick over the whole thing.
“None of that.” Killian reached out to grip my chin tightly. “None of this was your fault, Nix. Get that thought out of your head.”
Hiro glared at him and smacked his hand away. “Other than Theo, none of us were hurt, Nix. We don’t want to scare you, but you need to know.” I froze. Oh god, what else had he done?
“Shhh.” Damien’s fingers stroked through my hair. “Stay calm.”
“I’m sorry, Nix. He got away.” Hiro’s gentle words echoed loudly in the nearly silent room. My heart stopped. He got away? How was that possible? “We needed to know what he gave you, so we had Ryder heal him enough to get the information we needed out of him. He did give us what we needed to know, more actually, but Rini came to check on you, and in the shuffle, Michael shot Theo. The bullet was silver. I had you, Theo went down protecting Rini, Ryder was keeping Theo alive, and Kill was obscuring the clearing with illusions. Damien was set to take on Michael, but Theo was losing too much blood and we…” He took a deep breath, looking away from me. “We needed to focus on getting you and Theo out of there. It took two of us just to move him. The second Killian dropped the illusions, Michael bolted, and Damien couldn’t get through the barrier in his shifted form.” Hiro’s hands were gripped so tightly into the blankets that I was surprised he didn’t tear right through them.
Ryder reached out to grip his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. “If it hadn’t have been for the gun, we would have had him.”
“Rini’s ok, right?” I couldn’t believe that Rini had rushed into the clearing. I was devastated. She’d been put in danger and had to watch her brother, for all intents and purposes, get shot right in front of her. Defending her. What in the world had she been thinking rushing into the fray like that? Would she even want to be friends anymore? Would her guys ever let her around me again?
“She’s fine, and of course she still wants to be friends with you, Nix.” Theo’s voice from behind me had me jumping. When the hell had he gotten here? My Phoenix trilled, curling up in contentment inside me. All of us were here, all of us were safe. My Phoenix was appeased, happy in the knowledge that they would all protect her and she could rest. She was still feeling the effects of whatever in the hell had been done to us.
Pushing the tray aside, I bolted as fast as I could in my weakened state and made my way to Theo. I ran my hands over his chest, neck, and up to his face, cupping my hands there as I looked into his eyes. He really was alright.
“You’re ok.” I smiled up at him, hoping he wouldn’t push me away.
“You’re alive and awake.” He smiled back and reached out, running his thumb down my cheek. “You scared me,” he practically whispered.
“Where were you shot?”
He winced but raised his t-shirt, showing me the small puckered scar just under his ribs. I ran a finger over it before placing my hands on his abdomen, running them up his defined chest. My Phoenix rumbled happily. “Thank you, for saving my best friend.” Leaning up, I pressed my lips to his cheek and felt his breath catch. I could tell he was nervous about the mark on his skin, so I strained to lean up close to his ear. “You’re still perfect to me. Theo.”
Stepping down and away, I blushed as I turned back to the room. Everyone was watching us with varied expressions of amusement and happiness. I felt like I just passed some sort of test. Shaking off the moment, I changed the subject.
“So what exactly did he give me? I’m still so weak. It’s odd…” I really didn’t like surprises when it came to my body. Anything new was always cause for concern. Hell, for all I knew I had a limited number of rebirths. Was this like a cat thing? They had nine lives. Did I have a certain number as well?
Damien gripped his head, his mouth twisted into a grimace of pain. “Nix, baby, can you focus on your mental wall. I’m not sure what happened, but you’re projecting loudly, and I‘m not sure you actually want me in your head right now.” Okay, he was right. I did want my privacy. Hell, I didn’t want to be in my own head right now. But building a wall took so much energy that I just didn’t have. Going back to my tray, I
took two more bites of toast and jam and then worked to focus hard on building up that wall brick by brick.
“So, what happened?” I kept the question neutral, unsure of what to expect as an answer.
“He poisoned you.” That was Theo, succinct as always. I couldn’t help giving him a playful eye roll.
“I figured that out already. It’s not the first time he poisoned me.” I shrugged and yawned simultaneously, covering my mouth with my hand. Killian hissed beside me, his fingers twitching madly in what I was coming to recognize as a physical cue that he was having issues controlling his Puca.
“He used Vish Kaya venom.” Theo’s voice was hard and wary as if he expected me to panic.
“What does that mean?” If that had a meaning, it was well beyond me. Hell, I couldn’t even pronounce what he’d just said, let alone figure out why they were all looking at me as if I had done something far more miraculous than coming back from the dead—again.
“Vish Kaya are a form of shifter that are incredibly rare—almost as rare as a phoenix. When they’re born, they’re in quite a bit of danger due to how deadly they are. Shifters either want to use them for their own nefarious means or end up hunting them, hoping to wipe them from existence so their poison can’t be used against others. They are incredibly poisonous. One drop of venom from them is enough to kill most shifters. Back in the day, some of the strongest shifters would use their venom as a test of their strength and fortitude. If they survived the venom, they’d become stronger than before. Most didn’t make it. I have no idea where he was even able to get that poison from. There are no known Vish Kaya around. As for how you survived it, you’re much stronger than we thought—though nothing about what feats you can overcome should shock me anymore. You’re strong Nix, and I’m so damn glad you’re alive.”
Wow. Okay, I guess I understood now why they were freaked out. That was a lot to take in and scary—even to me. My Phoenix hissed in my head. She really hated that we’d been poisoned, and she didn’t appreciate my shock over the fact that we’d survived.
“None of this makes sense. Michael was a shifter? All this time?” I yawned. I was suddenly exhausted. I didn’t understand anything that was going on right now.
Hiro reached over and removed the tray from the bed to set it on the floor beside him. “Sleep some more, Nix. Your body’s still weak, and this has been a lot to process. For now just rest, and we’ll talk more when you wake up… we’re watching out for you. We’ll protect you.” His words acted as a lullaby as I leaned back into the pillows, no longer able to escape the exhaustion that swallowed me.
Four
Damien
When she’d woken up and looked at us, I hadn’t been able to breathe. Only feeling her pressed up against me had made it feel real. I’d nearly lost her twice already, and we had no idea where Michael was to ensure she would stay safe. Killian cursed behind me, pulling at his hair. We were all ragged from the past few days. I paused, waiting for the pain of her memories to roll across me again. None of us had been expecting the issues this rebirth had brought. Not only had she been in a coma for days, but something about the venom had caused her to drop all of her walls. She had been screaming her pain, her fear, and her memories into my head for the past few days.
My mental walls had begun to crack under the strain, and despite my best intentions, some of her thoughts had started to leak to my brothers. Nix probably thought we looked so ragged due to taking care of her over the past few days. She didn’t need to be burdened yet with the truth. We had lived this rebirth with her since the moment she and her Phoenix returned to her body. Every searing, scorching pain, every terrible memory, had echoed out to each of us.
I already knew that would be terrible for her, that she would feel ashamed that we had seen everything—felt everything—in her past so clearly. There’s no way she could know she was screaming into our heads. I doubted we had seen everything from her past, but we’d seen enough. Felt enough. I had no idea how she managed to get through her days with a smile, to let us into her life after everything she had experienced. We were going to do everything we could to make sure she never had to feel like that again—give her the happiness she hadn’t had.
Seeing her sleeping now, knowing she’d been awake and well, calmed the beast inside. Let’s talk outside; I don’t want to wake her. My mental voice was calm, at odds with all of the emotions currently riding me. After last looks at our girl to monitor her breathing, we all headed downstairs to the living room.
“Theo, what happened with the Council?” Hiro swiped a hand over his sleep-heavy eyes.
“They’re upset. They don’t like that we haven’t been back to the compound. They’re worried that we’re pulling away and forgetting our duties.” Theo sighed, apparently resigned after the lecture he had received. “Luckily, I’ve been making a bit of progress on the database they want. It gave us enough leeway that they’re not insisting we immediately return. We’re going to have to make more of an effort going forward.”
“Damn right we’re not going back to the compound!” Killian nearly hissed the words.
“Right now we just need to focus on making sure the venom has no lasting side effects.” Ryder’s voice was rough, his body stiff where he sat on the recliner. I knew he felt responsible for our well being, and Nix being unconscious for so long had really worn on him.
“Or that she doesn’t die again from eating your eggs.” I teased him, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
“Hardy, har har. They weren’t THAT bad.” The Ceraptor defended his terrible cooking skills. It was sweet that he had made an effort, and I pushed that thought to him so that he knew how appreciative I actually was.
“Even I wouldn’t eat those.” Hiro grinned as he plopped down on the sofa and lounged backward. We were all tired from the accumulation of so little sleep.
A collection of sighs and exhales echoed around the room.
“Now we double our efforts to find Michael. I don’t want that fucker anywhere near her again.” The severity of Killian’s voice resonated with all of us. We all felt the same damn way.
I tried to close the mental link between us before my self-doubt seeped through it, but Hiro was too quick for me. He whirled on me, pinning my chin in his grip. “Do not blame yourself, Damien. Not a single one of us would have thought that the barrier would keep us inside of it. Not one of us would have been able to hold our shifts back with her blood on our hands. You did nothing wrong.”
I tried a wry grin. “We really need to talk to the people who make those barriers. It’s definitely a design flaw.”
Theo leaned back in the chair, still pale after all this time. I knew that he should be resting, but his increased work for the Council meant they stayed away from Nix. It was a fine line to walk—for all of us. “It’s not a flaw. It’s built into all of the barriers. Most shifters don’t have a reason to test it. It’s a good way for the Council to control shifters who are manic or are too dangerous for their own good and unable to calm themselves down. It’s also frequently used for young shifters who don’t have family members to help them learn control. None of you had to experience that, but I heard about it occasionally from other kids.”
“That’s fucked up.” Leave it to Ryder to sum things up succinctly.
“I agree that we need to talk to her about what we’ve found out. She’ll feel that we’ve invaded her privacy for sure if we try to hide it. Unfortunately, I had other news today. One of the reasons I was late getting back was because I was finalizing my testing. There’s more news we need to break—I was able to confirm that Michael is in no way tied to Nix biologically. It’s just as I thought. She’s too strong to be a part-blood. He’s not her father.” Theo tore the glasses off of his face and pinched the bridge of his nose with his forefingers and thumb. Swearing filled the room, not so much because of the news—we’d all heard the conversation between Theo and Michael in the clearing and had our doubts about her paternity—but because
telling Nix was going to be difficult. None of us knew how she would respond to that news, but all of us hoped that it wouldn’t break her.
Five
Nix
I woke up slowly, blinking and looking around before my gaze landed on the window across from me. The sun was streaming through the plain white curtains with lace trim, and I briefly wondered who had furnished this guest room. I didn’t think they had let another girl in here to decorate it and it definitely wasn’t Rini’s style. The room had an older feel to it between the lacy curtains and the rocking chair. I smiled, realizing that it had to have been one of their mothers. I was going to need to find out so I could tease them about it.
Sitting up, I stretched and then winced. God, I needed a shower and a hairbrush. How long had I been asleep? After initially waking up, I had fallen asleep again until now. A rebirth had never knocked me out so hard in my entire life.
A low hum came through the mental link, a connection that I could almost feel now. I didn’t want to startle you when you woke up, but I wanted you to know that we’re not far. I’m in the kitchen.
Mmm, food. My stomach growled at that very moment, and Damien chuckled.
I promise to feed you. Why don’t you get cleaned up? It will help you feel refreshed. I’ll have something ready for you when you come down.
Thanks. Don’t judge me, but this may take a while. I needed a long, searingly hot shower to scald the grimy feeling off my skin and prepare myself to jump back into the swing of things. I had been down long enough and needed to step up and reinsert myself back into my life. My strength was coming back, and after days of sleep, I was ready to move on.
Standing up, I pulled the large t-shirt I was wearing down around my hips and spotted my familiar purple suitcase in the corner of the room. Rini must have brought me some of my things. My heart ached as I thought of her. I needed to call her today and apologize. Maybe she would be up for coming over after her classes ended for the day.