by Whitley Cox
She had every right to tell him to go to hell.
Too late. He was already there.
“Do you want her back?” Emmett asked, reading Mark’s mind.
“I do.”
“As Gabe’s therapist?”
“As everything. I want her.”
“Well, then, what the fuck are you still doing here?” Liam asked, shooting Mark a look that was a weird mix of irritation but also hope.
As much as he played up the love cynic, Liam really was a tremendous guy at the root of it all. It’s why he’d started The Single Dads of Seattle to begin with. He wanted a safe place for men, fathers to come and talk, commiserate and find solace and comfort in a world that really didn’t lend them much. He might not believe in love, but he believed in happiness.
Mark peeled at the label on his beer bottle. “She doesn’t deserve me.”
Atlas, the new guy, who had remained quiet until then, growled across the table.
Mark lifted his eyes to meet Atlas’s.
“You’re a dumb fuck.”
Mark’s eyes went wide.
“I don’t know you. But what I’ve seen so far, you’re a dumb fuck. A nice guy, but a dumb fuck. You didn’t know how amazing you had it until you lost it, and now you’re making up every excuse in the book to not go and win her back. If I could have one more day with my wife, I’d do anything and everything in my power to get it. Anything and everything for an hour, even a minute. If you’ve found someone that makes you feel like that, makes you feel like you can take on the storm, take on the world and not be swallowed up by it, fucking hold on to her, fucking fight for her. Be the man she deserves.”
Liam hadn’t said much about Atlas, just that he was a widower, worked with Liam at the law firm and had a young daughter named Aria. How his wife had died, Liam didn’t say.
Atlas’s bottom lip wobbled and his jaw tightened as raw emotion dashed across his face. “You go to her.”
Mark swallowed.
A fist slammed on the table, making them all jump. Atlas’s eyes grew fierce. “Get the fuck up and go! Now!” He choked out the last word, then stood, turned his head to hide his face, then stalked his big frame off to the kitchen.
All the other men at the table sat in silence.
Mark pushed himself up out of his seat, not saying a word. He grabbed his wallet, phone and left.
“Hey!” Liam called after him, Mark’s hand poised on the door handle. Liam rested his hand on Mark’s shoulder. “Things with Atlas are still pretty raw.”
Mark nodded. “I kind of figured.”
Liam’s lips flattened out and he nodded solemnly. “He’s actually a pretty fantastic guy, just intense and still hurting.”
Mark glanced down the hallway toward the kitchen. “He’s right, though. I am a dumb fuck. I fucked up big time.”
Liam’s smile was small but genuine, his dark eyes glowing from the pot lights overhead. “But unlike Atlas, you can get her back.”
“Tell him I’m sorry.”
“He’ll be okay.” He squeezed Mark’s shoulder. “Go get her back.”
Mark opened the door. “I’ll let you know how it goes.” He headed out into the night toward his car.
“And I’ll give you a discount on your next divorce!” Liam called after him.
Mark raised his hand in the air and flipped Liam the bird, all to the loud laughter of his friend.
Mark pulled up to Tori’s townhouse. The moment he turned off the ignition, fear ratcheted up his spine.
He couldn’t lose her.
Atlas’s words came back at him. “Be the man she deserves.”
A ripple of light from inside the house drew his eyes up from where he’d been staring at the steering wheel. A figure, beautiful as ever, stood in the living room window peering out at him. All he could see was her silhouette, but even that was stunning.
Get the fuck up and go! Now!
Well, at least now she knew he was here. If she opened the door, that was a good sign, right?
Be the man she deserves. Win her back. Fight for her.
He got out of his car and stalked up the driveway to the front door, his eyes glued to her in the window. He couldn’t see her face, but her posture changed. Her back went ramrod straight, then she was gone.
He was just reaching the landing when the door swung open.
“What the hell do you want?”
He recognized that voice, but the way the light from inside poured into the night, he couldn’t tell who it was.
He climbed the stairs.
It was Mercedes. He recognized her from the night he met Tori, only she had far less makeup on, was in jeans and a T-shirt and seemed a lot less drunk and a lot more pissed off.
“I’ve come to talk to Tori,” he said, trying to peer behind Mercedes, but she spread her arms across the doorjamb and moved her head whichever way he moved his.
“She doesn’t want to see you,” she snapped. “She’s had her heart broken enough times in the last year.”
Mark’s gut twisted.
The woman from the department store earlier in the day appeared behind Mercedes. She looked enough like Tori, with her porcelain skin, button nose and high cheekbones, that he was certain this was her sister Isobel.
“What do you want to say to her?” Isobel asked.
“I want to talk to Tori,” he said. “I want to see her.”
Footsteps behind the other two women drew their attention, and they parted on either side of the door to let her through. Just like that first night when he’d shown up on her doorstep, slightly drunk and wanting to talk about their mistake in his kitchen, she looked incredible. Rosy complexion, fresh from the shower, hair piled up high on her head, pajama pants and a tight white tank top. Her nipples pebbled when the cool winter air hit her.
She must have noticed where his gaze landed, because with an eye roll, she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “What are you doing here?”
But unlike that first time, he wasn’t there to tell her they made a mistake. He was there to get her back, to tell her that he had made the mistake—and many of them. He made the mistake of firing her and speaking to her the way he did, shaming her, blaming her, accusing her. Up until then, every decision he’d made with regards to Tori had been the right one, though. From intruding on her divorce party, to hiring her, kissing her on her birthday, bringing her into his bed and falling in love with her, every decision had been right. Everything in his life had been right since meeting Tori. And now he’d gone and fucked it all up.
“Hmm?” she probed, cocking her hip out. Her expression was curious as her gaze slowly ran over his face. No sadness. No anger. But he could see the questions. The wondering. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m a dumb fuck.”
Her lips pursed. “Not going to argue with you.”
A laugh rumbled in his chest. Fuck, he loved her.
“I messed up. Big time. I never should have fired you. Never should have spoken to you, treated you the way I did. I was wrong. None of what I said was true. Not a word. I’m so sorry.”
Something flashed behind her eyes, and they softened just a touch, but she was still heavily guarded. And rightfully so. He’d broken her heart. She’d only just started to glue the pieces of her life, of her heart back together after her separation, and Mark had gone and taken a sledgehammer to it all, and all before the glue had even dried.
She was waiting for him to continue.
“I want you back.”
One eyebrow lifted a fraction of an inch.
“I need you back.”
“For Gabe.”
“Yes.”
Color stained her cheeks. Even wearing a frown, she was positively gorgeous. Her eyes were a smoldering blue fire, boring into his soul. “I see. So you need me to come back and work for you.”
He nodded. “Yes. Gabe needs you. He’s regressing, having more behaviors than ever. You saw him at the department store today.”
<
br /> “I did, yes.”
What was going on? Why was she being so reserved? So distant?
“So, you need me back for Gabe? Just Gabe?”
Fuck, he was a dumb fuck.
He pushed his way inside, elbowing her sister and Mercedes out of the way. They took the hint and retreated to the living room. He boxed Tori against the wall. Her gaze flew up to his face and she studied him, her body still steeled against his attentions. She was protecting her heart. There was a twelve-inch-thick concrete wall around it, twenty feet high and barbed at the top. She wasn’t letting just anybody in anymore. He’d have to earn her love again.
And he would.
“I love your son, Mark. But I can’t come back and work for you if all you want is an employee. I can’t. It would just be too difficult. Eventually you’ll start dating again and … ” She drifted off, unable to look him in the eye. Emotion made her throat undulate on a hard swallow. “I just couldn’t watch … I’ve fallen in love with you. As hard as I tried not to. As hard as I tried to keep it light and fun and just the two of us enjoying each other’s bodies, each other’s company, it turned into more. I couldn’t watch you start a life with someone else while I sat on the sidelines and worked with Gabe. It would kill me.”
Resting his elbows on the wall next to her head, he smoothed the stray tendrils of her hair off her face, cupping the perfect heart-shape in his hands. “I want you. I want you in my life. My house. My bed. My arms … my heart. I need you. Gabe needs you. I need you to come back to us. If more children is what you want, then we can discuss it. Or we could adopt. If marriage is what you want, then I want that too. I want you, and I’ll do whatever I have to to get you back.”
Finally, she let one of the building blocks tumble down from atop her wall. Her bottom lip trembled, and a tear slipped down her flushed cheek. Not releasing her head, he moved his thumb and wiped away the tear. Her long, feathered lashes were spiked from her tears and fluttered as she finally looked up into his eyes.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured. “You have the most intense blue eyes I’ve ever seen.”
She leaned into his palm and shut her eyes once more for half a second.
“I’m sorry I brought my personal life, my personal problems to work. It will never happen again.”
No. She hadn’t done anything wrong. He was the one who had fucked up. And Ken, that motherfucker. He’d deal with him soon enough.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
Her gaze speared him.
“You did nothing wrong. Nothing. You hear me? I overreacted. Out of fear for Gabe. Jealousy that you’d seen your ex. Jealousy and anger that your asshole of an ex had been around my child.”
Her luscious lips dipped into a pout.
“But it was mostly fear.” He exhaled, shutting his own eyes for a moment, then glancing down at his feet. “Gabe is my life. And the thought of something happening to him. Of losing him … ”
A small, delicate hand landed on his chest.
“I was afraid. And I let that manifest into anger, and I reacted irrationally. I said some horrible things to you, things I take back, things I never meant. Not for one second.” His eyes met hers. “Tori, I am so sorry. Please, give me another chance to prove to you how much you mean to me. To us. We need you.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I need you.”
Her fingers bunched in the front of his shirt.
His lips brushed against hers. “I love you.”
16
Mark followed Tori into the living room. Her hand felt good in his. Right.
She glanced at her sister and Mercedes, who sat on the couch with death-stares directed right at Mark. “Can you guys give us some time? I know it was girls’ night, but … ”
Both women nodded, shooting Mark even more daggers, as they pried themselves off the couch, taking their wineglasses with them.
“We’ll just be upstairs,” Mercedes said, pointing two fingers at Mark, then at her eyes, then back at Mark to let him know she was watching him.
Tori’s lips twisted. “No, I mean, can you guys go?”
“You’re sure?” Isobel asked. It appeared as though she and her sister were having a wordless conversation. Their lips never moved, but their eyes said a thousand things.
“I’m sure,” Tori said softly. “We’ll be okay.”
Grumbles from her protectors, followed by the chugging of wineglasses, the closing of pizza boxes and finally the slamming of the front door, suddenly left them in a deafening silence.
Mark stood beside Tori in the living room, their hands still clasped.
But not for long. She released his hand and went over to sit in the chair. He made note that she didn’t sit on the couch, which would have invited him to sit next to her.
“We have some things to work out before we move forward,” she said, nodding at the couch. “You can’t just tell me you love me and expect things to go back to how they were.”
Oh, if life were only that simple.
Her stunning blue eyes pinned on him. “Sit.”
He sat.
“Now, I realize I fucked up, bringing my personal problems into my professional life, but it was a one-off, and I have apologized repeatedly for it.”
Between now and just moments ago at the front door, her spine had grown tenfold. He loved it. He loved a woman who didn’t take shit and stood up for herself, even to him.
He nodded. “I know it was. I know you have. But you didn’t fuck up. Ken showing up wasn’t your fault. I know that now. You need not apologize again. There’s nothing to apologize for.”
New conviction burned in her eyes. “Fine. But you also can’t just show up on my doorstep and expect me to forgive you simply because you uttered three little words. You hurt me, Mark. You shamed me. Made it out that because we were sleeping together, I grew complacent in my job, in Gabe’s care.”
Bile burned the back of his throat. If he could go back in time, take it all back, he would. Every last word. He would handle all of it so differently.
“If anything, because I cared about you, I cared more about Gabe. I took my job more seriously because I didn’t want to fuck up all the amazing things that were finally happening to me. All the things that finally brought me joy again.” She grabbed her wineglass but didn’t take a sip. Instead she just stared down into it. “It’s been a while since I’ve found any kind of joy.”
“It’ll be different this time. I swear. We’ll be upfront and open about our relationship with everyone. With Gabe, with his teachers, with Janice Sparks. With whoever you want. You want me to meet your parents? Done. Let’s go next weekend. You want to meet mine? Totally, we can have them over for dinner on Friday.”
She shook her head. “You’re saying all the right things … ”
Mark fell to his knees on the floor, shuffling over to stand in front of her. “What can I do to show you I mean it? To truly earn your forgiveness? To let you know that I’m a dumb fuck who let the best thing that had ever happened to him and his kid slip away?”
“Stand up,” she said with an eye roll.
He didn’t stand but instead perched on the end of the coffee table, their knees close but not touching. “What can I do, Tori? You want me to grovel?”
“No. I don’t want you to grovel. I believe that you mean it. That you’re sorry for how you treated me. And I do forgive you.”
Relief swamped him.
“I just want to discuss where we’re going to go from here.”
He reached for her hands. Thankfully, she let him take them, lacing their fingers together. “We can go wherever you want to go. Gabe is lost without you.” He kissed her knuckles. “So am I.”
“I want to work with Gabe again, but I can’t let you pay for my schooling. That just feels like too much. Even if we’re going to be together, I’m also on the quest for my independence, remember? You need to let me keep working at that.”
“You want me to keep paying you for his therap
y though, right?” He couldn’t let her do it for free, never. He’d figure out some other way to get money to her if she refused his payment.
She nodded. Thank God. “Yeah, I mean I still need to make a living. But I’ll pay for my own schooling. I think maybe a contract might be a good idea. Do you think Liam could draw us up one?”
“A work contract? We have one.”
“A relationship contract.”
His lips twisted. “You want to know my hard limits?” She’d served him that opportunity on a silver platter. How could he not bite?
Tori rolled her eyes. “Yeah, sure. We can stay together as long as you’re cool with pegging. This relationship needs to be equal on all levels. If I take it, so should you.”
He dropped her hands, and his jaw dropped. His asshole, on the other hand, puckered up tighter than a nun’s.
She tossed her head back and laughed. “Gotcha!”
Mark wiped his brow. “Phew. For a minute there I thought I was about to have a heart attack.”
Shaking her head, she took his hands in hers again, massaging the backs with her thumbs. “But I do think a contract might be a good idea. Just so the muddy water we’re already knee deep in doesn’t turn into quicksand. We’ve gone beyond conflict of interest, and I’m now sleeping with my boss, in love with my boss and in love with his son. It’s a complicated web we’ve gotten ourselves tangled up in.”
He scooped her up from the chair, took her seat and plopped her on his lap. He was tired of not having her in his arms. She didn’t fight him. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll talk to Liam.”
“Thank you.”
“Can I talk to Liam about something else too?”
She closed her eyes and leaned her head against his. “Hmm?”
“Your divorce. I’d like to help you out … financially and emotionally. Be whatever you need to rid him from your life for good. From our lives for good.”
“Our lives … ” She opened her eyes and looked down at him, her lips twisted into an amused grin.
“Yes. Our lives. Because it’s not just you anymore. You don’t have to weather this storm alone. You don’t have to take on the monsters by yourself. I’m here every step of the way. I want to be your shoulder to cry on, your cheering squad and your rock. I want to be yours.”