Ah, that’s right, Reid’s things. Where had she put them? She could have sworn she stuck them in the corner of the walk-in robe … Ah yes, there, behind her suitcase in the box she’d had some things in before unpacking. Now, all she had to do was give it to him and send him on his way and then spend the day doing things that would make her forget gushing about his beautiful eyes, or the way he smelled, or the feel of his hand as he touched her arm. Yes, so much to do and forget. She had her office to find and sort out. Barb said she was giving her a space to make her own. Plenty to do and keep her mind occupied. As soon as she’d settled Tilly doing something for the day. Maybe Lisa would be able to help her out there.
Yes, there we go. Busy. That was the ticket.
She gripped the box tightly, trying not to look down at the silky sky-blue Calvin Kleins sitting on the top, trying not to think of the poster she’d once seen of him in a pair just like these, the way they’d hugged his hips, the wiry muscle of his legs, skimming below his six pack and over the v of muscle that arrowed down to his—
She smacked into him as she walked out of the walk-in-robe and—embarrassingly—shrieked. Again.
He grabbed her arms, steadying her, the box between them. ‘Sorry. I seem to be good at giving you a shock.’
‘Don’t walk so quietly if you don’t want to shock people.’ She should move away, but she still didn’t feel steady on her feet—the shock and all.
He smirked. ‘Well, I’ve never been accused of walking too quietly before. Barb used to say I’d give a stampeding herd of elephants a run for their money.’
She snorted. ‘Yeah, I remember. But you’ve grown up and are now more cat-burglar than elephanty.’
‘Cat burglar. And what would I steal?’
‘Hearts.’
‘Really?’ His laughter wrapped around her, the box caught between them, his fingers strangely cool on her arms as they steadied her and burned her up. ‘I don’t think anyone’s ever accused me of that either.’
‘I’m sure they have, you just decided not to hear it.’
‘And here I thought it was you who was the stealer of hearts.’
Their eyes met, clashed, held. The edges of the box pushed into her ribs as he shifted—or did she shift?—his fingers moving on her arms in a way that no longer held her steady but threw her over a waterfall to spin and crash into the tumultuous water below. He was staring at her lips, and god help her, she couldn’t help but stare at his despite all her admonitions earlier. He had the prettiest lips. So full and wide and warm.
‘Mum! I’m just going outside to look at Rey again. Barb said I could as long as I followed her instructions.’
Nat jerked back, the box dropping between them, spilling out the underwear and socks on the floor at their feet. ‘Crap.’ She bent down just as he did and they clocked heads.
‘Ow!’
‘What are you doing? Whose underwear is that? Oh, hi, Reid.’
Rubbing her head, Nat looked up at her daughter who had given up yelling down the hall and come to the bedroom door, Bos at her side—the old dog had become a fixture. ‘Reid is just here to put up a picture and get his things.’
Reid, rubbing his head, scooped his underwear into the box, picked his Akubra off the floor—it having been knocked off when they’d hit heads—and said, ‘Hi, Tilly. Where have you been?’
‘I ran up to see if you were at the stables—Mum said I could while she was cleaning—but you weren’t there, so I dropped in and saw Barb to ask if I could visit with the foal and she said I could as long as I followed what she told me the other day. What are you doing?’
He gestured at the box. ‘Exactly what your mum said. I also wanted to ask you and your mum if you wanted to come with me while I brought in the mob from the creek pasture and feed out the horses we’ve just let out to rest in the home paddock. We’ll have to move them to the bush pasture to rest for a few days more as well. So a lot to do before the ride this afternoon which I hear you’re both coming on.’
‘Do you think I’m ready?’
‘Of course you are. You’ve had three days of lessons with me. You’re more than ready.’ She beamed at him. ‘So, are you interested?’
‘Just me?’
‘The invite is for your mum too.’ He turned to Nat. ‘Barb said you wanted to get back into the swing of things before you start your work and it’s time Tilly starts to learn the ropes.’
Tilly’s eyes brightened. ‘Learn the ropes? You mean you’re going to teach me how to do something with ropes?’
He laughed. ‘We can do that too, but this time I meant just show you how we do things. If you’re going to live here, you need to learn how we look after the horses, yes?’
‘Oh, yes. Can we, Mum? Please? You need to learn the ropes too.’
Oh god. How could she say no to those pleading eyes? She wished she had it in her to beg off, to avoid Reid, but she needed to have these experiences with her daughter. They were here to rebuild the bonds that had been destroyed over the last few years because of her inability to do what she should have done when things had begun to turn bad. She couldn’t do that if she sent Tilly off to have all these experiences without her. She forced herself to smile. ‘Okay. It sounds like fun.’
‘Shall we go now?’
‘You go and commune with the foal for a few minutes while I finish putting that photo up,’ Reid said. ‘Your mum and I’ll come and get you when we’re ready to go.’
‘Put your boots on,’ Nat called as Tilly ran out the door, ‘And grab your hat!’ The back door slammed shut and Nat knew her daughter hadn’t heard her.
‘We’ll grab her a proper hat from the barn before we go out,’ Reid said, smiling at her, the box tucked under his arm.
Nat nodded, horribly aware she was standing in her bedroom with Reid. Alone. She should walk out of the room, except he was standing between her and the door. In an effort to not look at him, she glanced around, eyes lighting on the chest at the foot of her bed. ‘There’s also stuff in the chest,’ she blurted out.
‘The chest?’ He looked at it as she threw back the lid to show a basket full of stuff inside. ‘I forgot about the chest. I haven’t even opened it since Barb put it in here. What’s in there?’
‘Don’t you know?’
He shrugged. ‘It was Luke’s. I was keeping it for him before he died and couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it, so had it shipped here. I meant to go through it but really just haven’t had a chance.’
He was standing next to her, not touching, but she could feel his heat brushing up against her arm. ‘I’m sorry if I disturbed your friend’s things. I should have asked first.’
‘It’s okay, Nat. It’s not the end of the world.’
An expression crossed his face, one that reminded her of the sadness that coated her heart. She gripped his arm, fingers tingling as they brushed the crisp hair of his forearm. ‘Do you want the chest back? I don’t need to have it here. I can buy something else for the space.’
‘No, no, it looks good there and if you have a use for it …’
He fell silent, kept starting at it.
She cleared her throat. ‘There’s a letter addressed to you. It fell out of one of the diaries.’
‘Yes. I shoved it in there. I’ll read it later.’
‘I put it down the side so it wouldn’t blow off.’
‘Thanks.’
She couldn’t stand the look on his face. ‘I’ll keep the basket of his things and the letter, if you like, until you feel you’re ready to go through them.’
His face twitched and then the expression of sadness was gone, replaced by a smile that didn’t touch his eyes. ‘No, it’s okay. I’ll grab it now.’
She lifted the basket out and after putting the small box with his underwear on the top, he took it from her.
‘Thanks. I suppose we should get going.’ Except, he didn’t move, just stood there, staring at the chest.
‘Did you know there’s a secret c
ompartment at the bottom?’
‘Is there? Huh. Not that that should surprise me. Luke always did like old things and the mysteries he could discover about them. An old chest with a hidden compartment would have been right up his alley.’ He waggled his eyebrows at her. ‘Was there secret hidden treasure in there?’
She snorted. ‘Hardly. Just two wooden statues wrapped in an old canvas cloth.’
‘Really? I wonder if he knew they were there.’
She didn’t answer.
‘Maybe I should take them out and display them. What do you think? Or do you want to keep them here?’
She snorted. ‘Hardly. I put them right back where I found them. They were a bit pornographic for my tastes.’
‘Pornographic—how?’
Her face heated. ‘They were … joined.’
‘That doesn’t sound very pornographic to me. Were they kissing?’
‘No. They were …’ She made a gesture with her hands.
‘Dancing?’
‘No.’ She changed to a well-known finger gesture.
‘Pushing a finger through a ring?’
His eyes were twinkling and his lips twitched. Narrowing her eyes, she put her hands on her hips. ‘If you must be crude, they were screwing and then when you pull them apart …’
‘You pulled them apart?’
Her face felt hotter and she had to stop from fanning herself. ‘Well, I didn’t realise they were joined like they are until I pulled them apart and saw the male statue has an enormous phallus.’
‘A phallus?’
‘Yes.’ She went to gesture again, but his lips twitched harder. She blew out a breath. ‘You think this is funny, don’t you?’
‘Very. You should see your face.’
‘Well, I’m not in the habit of holding men with great big phalluses.’ He burst out laughing just as she realised what she’d said. ‘I didn’t mean … you know what I mean.’
‘I’m not sure I do.’
She growled at him. ‘Anyway, as I said, I put them back where I found them. I didn’t want to have them out anywhere Tilly might find them. That is not something I want to explain to my pre-teen daughter quite yet.’
‘No, I can imagine.’ He sobered. ‘I’m sorry. I actually have seen them. Steve bought them as a joke. I have no idea why Luke would have put them there though. He certainly never mentioned it to me.’
‘Did he tell you everything?’
‘Yes.’ His expression darkened, the laughter completely leaving his face. ‘At least, I thought he did.’ He jiggled the box. ‘So, do you want me to take them, then? Just put them on here and I’ll take care of them later.’
She glanced towards the door. ‘I don’t want Tilly to chance seeing them.’
‘If you leave them wrapped up, there’s no chance of that.’
‘Okay.’
She kneeled on the floor, aware of him watching her as she jiggled the mechanism that made the section of the false bottom shift up. She tipped it up to reveal the space underneath where the statues lay nestled together. ‘Here you go.’ She put them on top of the box, making sure they were fully covered.
‘They’re heavier than they look.’
‘Yes.’ She hadn’t really noticed the first time she’d uncovered them, but they were heavy. ‘They mustn’t be hollow.’
‘Except for the joiny bit.’
Her lips twitched. ‘Yes, except for that bit.’
He looked down at the chest again. ‘Is that everything?’
‘Yes. If I find anything else of yours I’ll bring it up to you.’
‘That would be good.’
She shoved her hands in her pockets when he stood there looking at her. ‘Do you want Tilly and I to meet you at the barn?’
‘Um, yes. In fifteen?’
‘Sounds good.’
She followed him out to the front room. As she passed the piano, she saw the photo on the wall. ‘Is that you?’
He put his burdens down on the coffee table and came to look, his shoulder brushing against hers as he leaned forward. ‘Huh. I didn’t even notice when I put it up, but yes, it is.’
She tried to ignore the buzz of heat that chased down her arm and across her chest at the contact. ‘Is that Starsky?’
He smiled, the rakish half smile that made her insides tingle. ‘Yeah, it was. That was some jump. I forgot Flynn had taken that photo.’
She shook her head at him as she stared at the photo of rider and horse moving as one as they jumped over the huge trunk of a fallen tree. ‘You look young.’
‘Yeah, I think this was just before I moved away.’
She blinked. Flynn had just broken Starsky in before she left and Reid only left a month or so after her to go on his big overseas adventure with Luke. ‘You are crazy. Jumping a just broken-in horse over a log that size. You really do like living dangerously, don’t you?’ She turned to stare at him, forgetting how close he was, his face only inches from hers.
He was no longer looking at the photo—when had he turned to face her? His smile fell away, gaze flickering down to her mouth, back up and then down again. ‘Yeah, I do,’ he whispered.
She knew she should move but her limbs were frozen. Or were they burning up? It certainly felt like that as he leaned closer, closer, his breath brushing over her face, her lips.
Then his lips touched hers.
There had been flames years ago when they’d touched and come together in that week she’d allowed herself to give in to her desire, her need to feel something other than panic and grief and anger. Now, there was an inferno, rising through her, burning up her will, her thoughts, her good intentions until there was only him and her, their lips moving over one another, tongues touching. Her fingers brushed over his wide shoulders, over the muscles she’d noticed under his t-shirt, skating up the hot skin of his neck and into the short, spiky silk of his hair. He moaned and pulled her closer, their bodies meeting, his hands hot brands on her waist. Oh god, this, this, had she ever had this? Felt this alive? Even her memories of her time with him couldn’t compare to what this was. She was flying and burning and feeling so much, too much and she wanted more. God help her, she wanted more.
She pulled at him and he stumbled forward a little, the weight of him pushing her back. There was a jangle of sound as her bottom connected with the piano keys.
The sound jerked her out of the inferno of need that had flared through her, and into the cold reality of where she was and the fact her daughter could come running in at any moment.
‘Shit.’ What the hell was she doing?
She pushed at his chest and he let go, stepped away. He was panting, staring at her, his eyes ablaze. ‘Don’t,’ she managed through the burn of dryness in her throat.
‘Don’t what?’
‘Look at me like that.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like I am the only thing you want to look at ever again.’ He opened his mouth to say something, but she pressed her fingers against his lips, silencing him. ‘I can’t be what you want.’
He shook his head, his lips moving against hers. ‘I’m not asking for anything.’
‘You don’t have to. I know you. You do everything with such passion and intent. I can’t afford to get sucked into the intensity of you. I’m not sure I can make good decisions about myself right now, but I can make good decisions for Tilly. I will make good decisions for her. She is my only thought, my only reason for being. There can be nothing else. Do you understand?’
He nodded, his eyes dark, intense, shadowed. ‘I understand.’
He stepped further away, the distance between them leaving her cold. She wrapped her arms around herself, hiding the shiver. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t want to mislead you again. I don’t want to hurt you. I never did.’
‘You didn’t. I was a stupid boy with a crush back then. I’m not so stupid now. Besides, it was only one kiss. Nothing to get anyone’s knickers in a twist over, right?’
Oh god, why did tha
t hurt? ‘No. No reason at all.’ She rubbed her knuckles against her chest as he turned away and picked his hat up off the floor.
‘We better get going. Those horses aren’t going to feed themselves or bring themselves in.’ He grabbed his belongings off the table and turned to the door.
‘We don’t have to go with you.’
He scowled at her. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you’re coming. We’ve got work to do. So better get to doing it.’
She nodded. ‘I’ll just get my hat and put my boots on and meet you up at the barn.’
‘Okay. See you there.’
She watched him walk away, feeling horribly like she’d just done something she would regret. What was she talking about? She already regretted it. The only problem was, she didn’t know if she regretted stopping the kiss or not.
She almost choked on the thought. Don’t be stupid. Of course she didn’t regret stopping the kiss. She didn’t want to kiss him. It was completely inappropriate. He was a workmate and an old friend. Kind of. Kissing him or anything of that nature was completely and utterly wrong. If she’d known it was coming, she wouldn’t have allowed it to happen in the first place.
That’s a lie.
No, it’s not.
Then why didn’t you move away when he got closer?
Shut up, she told the voice in her head. What do you know?
Plenty. Like how you moved in closer when his arms went around you, how you curled your fingers into the silk of his hair and moaned into his mouth.
I did not moan.
Did too.
Oh, god! Was she having a childish argument with herself? It’s like she was channelling Tilly. The next thing she’d be sticking her tongue out at herself and saying, ‘so there!’
She glanced around to see if anyone else noticed her mental break but thankfully, nobody was there except Reid who was marching up the path away from her, his arse looking far too enticing in those worn denim jeans.
Cursing under her breath, she tore her gaze away from his retreating figure and went in search of her hat and boots, all too aware that she’d possibly just smashed her clean slate onto the ground and it now lay shattered at her feet alongside her sanity.
Climbing Fear (CoalCliff Stud, #1) Page 10