“What are you doing here?”
He snorted. “Reese thought you might need an ear. Or a shoulder.” His lips twisted in amusement and when I flipped him off, Jackson sat and ordered another platter. “And keep the coffee coming Big Mama. Looks like we might be here awhile.”
Her smile widened at the gruff detective and she nodded. “Get this one sorted out before he misses out on something good.” With a sympathetic look and a wink, Big Mama sauntered off.
Leaving me to face the firing squad. “Here to tell me how I’m the bad guy too?”
“No. I’m here because Reese threatened to put laxatives in the barbecue sauce Eddy’s picking up for the Hero’s BBQ next Friday.” Jase and Nate both snickered, ignoring the glare Jackson sent each of them. “Telling her I was the law wasn’t a persuasive argument so I’m here to help so I don’t wreck my relationship by poisoning my woman.”
That sent the whole table into a fit of laughter, or maybe it was Jackson’s gruff tone, but the mood had lightened. Some.
It didn’t make me feel any damn better though. “So what do I do? Leave her alone or what?”
“That’s your big plan? Leave her alone or…nothing?” Jase shook his head. “Jeez man, you really need our help.”
He wasn’t wrong but that didn’t stop me from stealing a slice of bacon from his plate. “She thinks the worse of me and yeah, the matchmakers didn’t help but they didn’t make her believe them.” And that’s the part that really pissed me off. She knew me but still, she was so willing—too willing—to believe the worst about me.
I looked around the table, all three men stared back at me with hesitant looks on their faces. “What?”
They all shared a look and apparently Nate had been appointed the spokesperson. “You get around, man. And yeah, I know you’re not hurting anyone and your women know what they get when they sign on for a night or two with you, but from a woman’s perspective, you’re a bad bet to fall for.”
Jackson nodded his agreement. “A girl like Janey isn’t as experienced as you are and she’s probably wondering why a guy with your reputation would stay with a girl like her. Especially when you’ve shown no interest in a serious relationship.”
“That’s what Reese said.” And I still thought it was crap, which I told him.
“Maybe so but it’s a valid concern.” Nate shrugged at my glare. “She sees you with exactly the kind of woman the matchmakers said you should be with and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out the rest.”
Well that wasn’t comforting because I still hadn’t figured it out. “Then maybe you should spell it out for me, Genius.”
Jase raised a hand in the air with a cocky smile. “I got this one, guys.” He turned to me with a sympathetic look that bordered on pity. “She’s in love with you dummy and last night, her worst fear was realized.”
“I didn’t do a damn thing!”
“Idiot,” Jase muttered. “You didn’t do anything…last night, sure. But your reputation is a living breathing thing in Tulip and you can’t expect her to ignore it.”
“So I’m being punished for being a single man?” This was why I avoided relationships. They were complicated and messy for no good reason.
“No. You’re being judged based on your past behavior,” Nate chimed in. “What reason does Janey have to think you’ve changed? That you only want one woman. Have you told her?”
No, I hadn’t. “So, what do I do?”
All three men smiled at each other and then turned to me with mischief in their eyes. “Grand gesture,” the said in unison.
Janey
The only good thing about being heartbroken was that it gave me so much energy to channel into my work, specifically into my new series. Based, of course, on the hometown heroes idea only not the sexed up version of them, the real version that got dirty and grimy while doing the filthy business of saving lives and property.
Unable to sleep without thinking about Rafe and unwilling to waste another moment on a man who didn’t want what I did out of our relationship, I got up and got dressed before making my way to the studio where I knew I could work uninterrupted for most of the day. After last night’s argument with Rafe, all I wanted was to hide away until the hurt passed. There were no shoots scheduled for today which meant I could keep the whole place locked up and no one would be any wiser and that was my plan of attack.
Or plan of avoidance, as the case may be. Or may not be.
I stayed in my office located in the back of the studio and went through gigabytes of photos of firefighters, police officers and paramedics in their element. Taking charge. Helping. Bandaging wounds. Rescuing people. Saving lives.
The photos were so amazing that even I was surprised that I was the photographer. One of my favorites was of Nate and Preston, rescuing a middle-aged couple who’d gotten turned around on an anniversary hike, carrying the husband who’d suffered a broken leg while his wife had said something to make all three men smile. It was a great moment. Beautiful and poignant in its significance.
There were hundreds of photos to go through and if I took my time, I could make this particular task last all day. And if I ignored the growling sounds coming from my stomach, I could make it until the end of the day and sneak home without being noticed. The louder the growling became though, I wondered if I could sneak over to Big Mama’s for pickup without being seen.
Or stopped.
Or talked to.
Or talked about.
At three o’clock I decided it was too risky and decided to get delivery because none of the teenage boys in town gave a damn about the state of my love life, or lack thereof. A few of them might comment on the quantity of my order, but a reminder of who controlled the tip was a quick cure for those opinions.
When the buzzer sounded on the back door my shoulders dropped in relief and okay, a little bit of excitement because I was beyond starving. I pushed open the door without checking the security system Uncle Leland had insisted on even though nothing bad ever happened in Tulip. Nothing except heartbreak, that is. “Hey, come on in…oh. You’re not the delivery guy.” The words came out harsher than I meant them to but I hadn’t expected to see Stevie or Bo, and definitely not Reese on my doorstep. “I mean hey girls, what’s up?”
Bo stepped forward and tilted her head to the side, sizing me up in that she did that intimidated just about everyone. “Aww, how cute. She’s pretending she’s happy to see us.”
Stevie and Reese snickered behind her, stepping forward when Bo pushed past me to step inside. “I didn’t say I was unhappy to see you, I was expecting someone else.”
“Rafe?” The hope in Reese’s voice was unmistakable and even though I didn’t want to upset her, I refused to lie.
“No.” He hadn’t showed up last night and I didn’t expect him now. Or ever. “Did you guys need something?”
“Do we need a reason to stop by and see a friend?” Stevie was new to town but she blended in with the group seamlessly, especially with her bossy nature.
“Of course not,” I insisted sincerely. “But I wasn’t expecting you and I’m kind of in the middle of something.”
“You want us gone,” Bo deduced easily.
“I’d like to get back to work,” I answered back diplomatically. “I’m working on something important and I was kind of in the zone.” Since it didn’t seem like they would leave anytime soon, I closed the back door and nodded for the women to follow me into the studio. “Is everything all right?”
Bo sighed and her expression went from serious to sympathetic and I felt my gut tighten. “We just stopped by to make sure you were all right.”
I took a step back, feeling wary. And ambushed. “Why wouldn’t I be all right?”
Reese sighed and crossed the room to put a hand on my shoulder. “We know about the fight with Rafe.”
I took a step back. “He told you?” Of course he told Reese, she was his best friend. “Never mind, I don’t want to know. I’m fine.” I
flashed a bright smile that nearly cracked the corners of my mouth and held it until they looked like they believed it.
Which, of course, never happened.
“She’s fine girls,” Bo said sarcastically. “Guess we can all head home now.”
Perfect. My shoulders relaxed as Bo made a big show of heading towards the door but she did it so slowly I knew she was full of crap and turned to my computer screen. “Thanks for stopping by.”
“Bo,” Reese groaned, her tone annoyed and worried. “We saw the photos on Facebook, about the fight. Rafe hasn’t said anything to me. Or anyone else probably.” I had to look away at the sympathy in her eyes because I knew how much she cared about Rafe and his happiness.
“Facebook.” It was the only detail my mind could focus on, that the fight was public knowledge. “It wasn’t a fight,” I insisted. “It was a discussion.”
Bo snorted and shook her head. “A discussion that ended with you looking heartbroken. And in tears,” she added with a quirk of her dark brows.
Tears? “Damn this town,” I mumbled and reached out for my phone, desperate to see with my own eyes, just how much of my personal life was now fodder for the whole town. And the answer was…all of it.
Someone had captured nearly the whole damn encounter behind Black Thumb. Rafe’s thunderous expression when I told him we could never be anything more than what we were. The tears glistening in my eyes. The sadness in our eyes as we said a silent goodbye.
Me watching him walk away with one tear shining on the apple of my cheek.
It was like watching my heart break all over again. “Well then I guess you know everything.”
“Not everything,” Reese said hesitantly. “What were you fighting about?”
I didn’t really want to get into it, not again and not after thinking about it nonstop for the past ten hours. Then again, who in the hell else could I talk to about this? “It was Doctor Barbie.”
Bo nearly choked on her next breath. “Who the hell is Dr. Barbie?”
“One of the women the matchmakers picked out for Rafe.” I went through everything, the bombshells who’d shown up just for a shot with the gorgeous firefighter. How my own jealousy and insecurities had gotten the better of me. How in the end, the truth was undeniable. “We weren’t serious anyway,” I said, trying for lighthearted even though my chest and my stomach rebelled at those words.
Reese glared at me and folded her arms over her chest, taking a step closer. “If you don’t want to talk, say that but don’t lie. You were serious or at least you were getting there. Rafe might not have known that on the surface, but I saw him. He would have figured it out.”
I didn’t want to hear that. Couldn’t process it. Not now. “Before or after he got bored and ran off with the supermodel pediatrician?”
“That’s not who Rafe is and you damn well know it,” Reese shot back, fire in her eyes as she defended her friend, which only served as a reminder that she was right.
Rafe was a good guy. He just wasn’t the guy for me and I knew that, and I went and fell for him anyway. “I know. You’re right.”
“You do? I am?” Reese stood a little taller. “I mean of course I’m right, but if you know then what’s damn problem, because I sent Jackson to check on him and he said Rafe isn’t eating. He isn’t eating Janey.”
“Uh, am I missing something?” Stevie raised her hand like we were in study hall, brows dipped in confusion.
“Rafe is always eating,” Reese and I said at the same time.
“The dude is a bottomless pit,” Bo added with a proud smile. “Fighting fires burns a lot of calories, or so I’m told. Constantly.”
Reese clapped her hands in Bo and Stevie’s direction. “Ladies, focus. We’re here for Rafe. And Janey,” she added with a playful smile for me.
“Look Reese, I appreciate what you’re trying to do but they were right. Rafe and I aren’t right for each other and we never were. The sex just blurred things for a while.”
“So you’re saying that isn’t the look of a woman who just let the man she loves walk away? Possibly for good?”
“I’m saying that it doesn’t matter what that photo says because we are not right for each other. If he decides to settle down it won’t be with someone like me.” And eventually I would be fine with that, maybe someday I’d even find a way to be happy for him. For them.
“Oh please,” Bo scoffed. “What does that even mean? He’s been spending all of his free time with you for months even though you both thought you could keep a secret in this town.”
“That’s different, it’s sex. I didn’t say there was no chemistry.”
“You also didn’t say that you don’t love him,” Reese added, totally not helping. At all. “And that’s because you totally do.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “I do, okay? But that doesn’t change anything. I’m not setting myself up for something I know will end horribly. And in case you’ve forgotten, Rafe doesn’t feel that way about me.”
“Did he say that?” Stevie’s question surprised me and so did the knowing smirk she wore.
“No, he didn’t. But he also didn’t say he did when I told him we were all wrong for each other. So that’s that girls, all right?”
“No dammit, not all right. You want Rafe, right?” Reese had a gleam in her eyes that I didn’t trust.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s too late.”
Reese flashed a wide grin and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “It’s never too late,” she said ominously. “Especially when it’s a grand gesture.”
I’d seen grand gestures in movies, guys running through crowded airports or girls battling stage fright to show they weren’t scared of love, but I had no clue where to start on one of my own.
And worse, I didn’t know if a grand gesture would even be welcome.
This love mess was scary business.
Rafe
“You could at least look like you’re having fun.” Reese glared up at me and punctuated her words with a backhanded slap to the gut. “This is a barbecue, which you love, in your honor. Something you also love.” The playful smile she flashed took the sting off her words. A bit.
She was right, the Hero’s BBQ was the last official, and hopefully unofficial, event for the Hometown Heroes. Sponsored by the matchmakers as a way of saying thanks for donating our time and faces to help the town, the women had managed to get Big Mama, Reese and Texican’s to donate food for the celebration. Other businesses had contributed and what had started as a backyard gathering now took up all of Main Street. Everyone had worked hard to donate time and food to the event so I looked at my best friend and slapped on a phony grin that was wider than Texas. “Better?”
“If by better you mean scary as hell, sure.” She shrugged and rolled her eyes. “It’s okay to admit you’re nervous, Rafe.”
I frowned. “Who the hell said I was nervous?” I wasn’t nervous. I was pissed off, maybe a little hurt, exhausted not in the mood to socialize. “Just ready for all of this to just be over.”
“Now I know something is wrong,” she joked and pressed the back of her hand to my forehead. “I’ve never known you to avoid social gatherings in your honor.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I waved a dismissive hand in the air. “I’m so arrogant that I love being the center of attention. We all got it, Reese.”
Her smile slipped and turned into a frown. “Screw you, Rafe. Just because you screwed things up with Janey doesn’t mean you get to be a jerk to me. I tried to help, hell we all did. But take some damn responsibility for your role in all of this.” Turning my last ally against me wasn’t a smart move but my mood was so dark that I didn’t give a damn.
“So we’re back to this being my fault?” I shook my head and let out a long sigh. I knew I wasn’t innocent in how things played out with Janey but it was her lack of belief, in me and in herself, that led us here. “Ow, what the hell was that for?”
“For being a jackass when I’m only trying to he
lp. I didn’t say it was your fault, but you can’t be that mad at Janey for thinking you don’t want to commit to her or anyone. You’ve spent the last twenty years proving that. To everyone.”
“Okay fine-,” I conceded.
“And even if you want to argue that you were just doing what single men do, you never gave her any reason to think you gave a damn.” Reese turned to the large aluminum tins filled with burgers, ribs and chicken, angrily painting her famous barbecues sauce on each one. “So what are you gonna do about it?”
That was the damn question, wasn’t it? I hadn’t seen or spoken to Reese since that night at Black Thumb, and she hadn’t reached out to me either. But today I was ready for…something. I didn’t know what, but I was tired of feeling like crap. Tired of missing her. Tired of being without her. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
She smiled over her shoulder and nodded. “If you tell me, I’ll whip up a plate for your real quick.”
“Tempting but I’ll eat later.” Excitement flashed in her eyes.
“Can’t wait,” she said and then her smile slipped again. “Incoming,” she muttered and turned back to her trays of barbecue. I didn’t bother to turn because the familiar swish of Eddy’s windbreaker told me exactly who the warning had been about. Those damn meddling matchmaking women. Eddy came to a stop on one side of me, with Helen and Betty stopping on the other side. “Good afternoon ladies.”
Eddy smiled wide, casting a nervous glance at me while I kept my gaze on Reese. “We could smell your delicious sauce from the other end of the block,” she offered as she rubbed her hands together.
“Everything will be ready to go in about ten minutes. You want a sample?”
“Not yet. We want the heroes to eat first,” she said, casting a friendly smile my way that I didn’t bother to return.
“You need anything else Reese?”
She blinked at my abrupt tone, looking between me and the matchmakers warily before she shook her head. “Um, nope. I’m good thanks.”
That Hot Night: A Firefighter Romance Page 15