by Ruth Schwenk
Praise for
The Better Mom Devotional
Whether your role as a mom finds you snuggling babies, chasing toddlers, helping a child with homework, or navigating the sometimes-trying teenage years, this encouraging devotional will help you to connect your heart straight to God’s through the scriptures presented and the insight given. So step over the laundry, ignore the dirty dishes a little longer, and carve out a slice of time each day to meet with Jesus on the pages of this helpful and hopeful resource.
—KAREN EHMAN, Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and New York Times bestselling author of Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All and Listen, Love, Repeat: Other-Centered Living in a Self-Centered World, wife and mother of three
What mom doesn’t need the life-breathing encouragement found in this beautiful devotional by Ruth Schwenk? She offers a short, but oh-so-sweet word for each day to give that godly perspective that we all crave as moms. Practical, down-to-earth, and yet inspiring too! Definitely a drink of cool water in that sometimes-thirsty land of motherhood.
—LISA JACOBSON, Club31Women.com
Probably one of the most important survival tools for moms in the trenches is time in the Word—and encouragement. Ruth tackles both beautifully in this devotional. I love Ruth’s heart for moms. You see it in her blog and here in these pages. She gets it. Mom-life is hard. Each of these 100 devotions touches on elements of life where moms often struggle and need a little inspiration. What an incredible resource and blessing for moms.
—KRISTI CLOVER, author, speaker, and host of the Simply Joyful Podcast
How I wish I had Ruth Schwenk’s The Better Mom Devotional ten years ago when I first felt terribly alone in my mothering. She gets it. This book holds the daily mentoring I need to encourage and uplift me as I raise my four sons!
—AMBER LIA, bestselling author of Triggers and Parenting Scripts
Every mom needs to take time to pause and refresh her spirit. Ruth’s The Better Mom Devotional is filled with scripture and short devotions that will encourage you to start a dialogue with God each day. No matter what your day with your children brings you, this is just the inspiration you will need.
—Sandra E. Maddox, founder and coordinator of Treasured Moms Ministry at Saddleback Church, author of Tiffany and The Talking Frog, and blogger at TheArtofDomesticity.com
A mother’s super strength comes from a close relationship with the living God. The Better Mom Devotional will help you tap into the unlimited resources of heaven. Read it and be encouraged in your high calling of motherhood.
—ARLENE PELLICANE, speaker and author of Parents Rising and 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom
ZONDERVAN
The Better Mom Devotional
Copyright © 2018 Ruth Schwenk
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr., SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49546
ePub Edition © August 2018: ISBN 978-0-3100-9546-0
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.Zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.®
Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
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Art direction: Adam Hill
Interior design: Lori Lynch
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Contents
Introduction
Let God Be God
Loving by Listening
Guard Against Grumbling
Don’t Go It Alone
Hiding God’s Word in Your Heart
Showing Honor in Your Marriage
Say Goodbye to the Perfect Home
Words Matter
Expecting Progress, Not Perfection
Our Strong God
The Hard Places That Make Us Holy
Rooted in God’s Love
Learning to Pray
Two Becoming One
A Home with Purpose
Not to Us
Mind Games
Extend Your Family
Disciplining with Love
The Surest Foundation
Living for God’s Approval
Carry Each Other’s Burdens
Rest for the Weary
A Gift from God
Take Fun More Seriously
Simple Obedience
God Uses Your Weakness
Establishing Traditions
The Holiness of God
When You Don’t Feel Like Being a Mom
A Sneaky Form of Pride
A Friend Worth Following
Pursuing Godliness
Trusting God Together
Do Something Brave
Understanding Anger
Nourishing Your Children’s Souls
Our Helper
From Greed to Giving
Friends Who Tell the Truth
More Than a Song
Yielding in Love
Greater Than Darkness
Learning to Truly Love
God Loves the Real You
Weak Spots
Friendships Need Forgiveness
Hope That Will Not Disappoint
The Real Value of Solitude
Humility in Marriage
The Changing Seasons of Motherhood
Our Greatest Need
A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way
How to Be a Good Friend
No Easy Route
Made Holy
Who Are You Working For?
Teaching Your Kids to Pray
The One Who Judges Justly
The Glory of Suffering
Realistic Friendships
Trusting God’s Truth
An Enemy of the Heart
Speaking Life into Your Family
Filling Your Home with Beauty
The Right Path
The Power of Gentleness
God Hasn’t Forgotten You
Love Anyway
Advice from a Friend
Source of Strength
Fighting for Your Marriage
Walking with the Wise
Everyday Mission
Don’t Waste the Wait
Friends Who Stay
Confessing Sin
Every Marriage Needs Kindness
Guarding Your Home
God Works with What You Have
Sharpen the Mind
Clothed in Humility
Looking Beneath the Surface
Staying Power
Looking at the Cross and Beyond
A Heart of Praise
The Gift of Being Known
You Are Invited
Pursuing Wisdom
A Song-Filled Home
What Not to Say to God
A Twist on Holiday Giving
Choosing Patience
God Is with You
When Anxiety Is Overwhelming
Every Friend Needs Encouragement
Open Your Home and Your Heart
Discipline, Not Punishment
Choosing Wisely
Finding Joy in Letting Go
Notes
Introduction
Dear friend,
I wish we were sitting across the table from each other, face to face, sipping cups of my favorite coffee and sharing our hearts—the joys, the struggles, the fears, and, of course, the hopes of motherhood. My prayer is that this devotional will be the next best thing. It’s one way I hope to spur you on, inspire you to keep going, and remind you that you are not alone. We are in this together!
It’s hard to believe, but nearly seven years ago, TheBetterMom.com was born. Over the past several years, hundreds of thousands of moms have joined and journeyed together, learning and growing through our daily devotions and social media presence.
At the heart of TheBetterMom.com and this devotional is the message that Jesus calls us to live not a weary life, but a worthy life. It’s my sincere hope and prayer that God uses this devotional to encourage your mama heart and meet you right where you are.
The good news is that there is more to being a mom than the extremes of striving for perfection or simply embracing the mess. Just as God is using us as moms to shape our children, God is using our children and motherhood to shape us. It’s okay to come as we are, but our calling is far too important for us to stay there!
So I invite you to discover all that God wants to do in you through the devotions that follow. The way to becoming a better mom starts not with what we are doing, but with who God is inviting us to become.
Many blessings,
Let God Be God
“I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’ ”
—ISAIAH 46:9–10
Every mom I know sometimes feels as if she’s blown it. Am I too lenient? Am I too strict? What could I do to better protect, teach, or guide my child? Our kids don’t come with an owner’s manual, and that’s one reason parenting is hard work. When our children are young, being a mom is physically exhausting. But as our children grow, motherhood becomes far more emotionally exhausting.
Because we love our children and desire to see them mature and walk wisely in the world, we can beat ourselves up over our parenting. We can get weary. Feel overwhelmed. Question whether our kids’ mistakes will affect their futures. This is why we need the reminder of this truth: God is God—and we are not.
There are countless places in the Bible where God declared He is God. Although that seems obvious, the frequency of these reminders suggests just how often we forget. Instead of trusting God, we try to be God. Bad idea! We might not come right out and say it, or we might not even realize it. In many ways, though, our actions can reveal our lack of trust in the God who is ultimately in control of our lives—and our children’s lives.
Friend, let’s choose to rest in God’s promises and trust Him for the future. And let’s be faithful to what He has called us to do today. Even when we feel as if we are failing as moms, God’s purposes for us and for our children never will. Let God be God.
Father, I need Your grace. I know that I don’t always parent the best way. I need You. I need Your wisdom, Your grace, and Your power. Remind me that even when I feel like I’m failing, You are faithful to accomplish all of Your purposes. Give me hope and joy today as I serve and trust You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• In what part of your life are you struggling to trust God?
• How can the faithfulness of God be an encouragement to you as a mom today?
Loving by Listening
Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.
—PSALM 31:2
I heard Sophia, my youngest daughter, yell, “Mom!” And then again, “Mooom!” Growing in volume, the third cry came as I was on my way to see what was going on: “Mooooooom!” As it turns out, she needed toilet paper. Thankfully, nothing life-threatening!
As moms, we hear a lot. We can’t help it. We hear cries for help. We get questions about homework, going outside, permission to watch a show or go to a movie. We hear conflicts and arguments erupting between siblings. Hearing is something we can’t help. Hearing just happens.
But listening is different. We have to choose to listen. We choose to stop what we’re doing. We choose to put away anything that might be a distraction. We choose to look into our child’s eyes. We choose to sit down and ask more questions, choose to truly understand our children’s hearts.
This is, after all, how God is with us. He not only hears us, but He listens to us. “Turn your ear to me,” the psalmist cried to God. One translation says, “Bow down Your ear to me” (NKJV). Imagine that! The King of kings, whom we should bow down to, actually bows down His ear to us. He listens with His full attention.
What a great reminder for us moms. We can’t help hearing, but we must choose to listen. Observe yourself today: how are you doing at truly listening to your children? Make it your goal to do more than just hear them; really listen.
Father, thank You for being a King who bows down Your ear to listen to me. I praise You and thank You for the undivided attention You give me. Help me as a mom not only to hear my children, but also to truly listen to them. Help me love them by bending my ear toward them. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• What is the biggest difference between hearing and listening?
• What makes listening challenging for you as a mom?
Guard Against Grumbling
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
—PSALM 107:1
I felt it long before I expressed it: that slow simmer of frustration. My grumbling, which almost always starts out feeling like a deep growl, would soon begin. I wanted a clean kitchen, a little help, and some peace and quiet, and the irritation I was feeling turned into grumbling. And then I began to verbalize my complaints out loud to my husband and, of course, to God.
Are you a grumbler? Do you always find something wrong? Maybe the house is never clean enough or the kids are never quiet enough. This kind of grumbling reveals our blindness to our blessings. Our complaining shows how we fail to see all we have. And most serious of all, our grumbling and complaining are really accusations toward God that life is not going the way we want or the way we think it should.
Grumbling is dangerous not only to our hearts but also to our homes. A complaining spirit can fill the atmosphere with a thick fog that hangs over everyone. That’s why I love the reminder from the psalmist that we are to “give thanks.” Giving thanks is, after all, the best antidote to complaining. Giving thanks silences our grumbling as we remind ourselves of all we have and don’t deserve. Giving thanks always leads to gratefulness, gratefulness to joy, and joy to praise.
That’s the kind of heart I want to have. That’s the kind of home I want to cultivate. Let’s start today. Let�
��s nurture a heart and home that are filled with praise as we give thanks for all we have and don’t deserve.
Father, open my eyes to truly see and appreciate all that You have given me that I don’t deserve. Please teach me to guard my heart from focusing on what I don’t have or on what I think I need. Fill me with thankfulness. Help me find joy in You, thanking You for all that You have done, are doing, and will do. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• In what ways can complaining be bad for your home?
• What can you begin to do today to cultivate a home characterized by gratitude instead of grumbling?
Don’t Go It Alone
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
—PROVERBS 18:24
We haven’t only been saved into a relationship with Jesus; we’ve also been saved into a relationship with Jesus’ people with God as our Father. Together we are growing up as God’s family. Relationships were never meant to be optional in the Christian life.
Why does God put such an emphasis on relationships? Because they are one of the primary ways He works in us to teach us, encourage us, and grow us.
Sometimes, though, friendships get pushed to the back burner when kids come along. It’s far easier for many of us to be private instead of vulnerable, busy instead of available, and isolated instead of interdependent. As a result, we miss out on the joy and blessing of sharing life with other friends. Yes, relationships take work, but the effort is so worthwhile.
At the very beginning of the Bible, God said it is not good for a man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Together, the first man and woman would have the capacity for intimate love and meaningful friendship, both of which help show the world what God is like (Ephesians 5:21–27). The rest of the Bible shows us that life is meant to be lived in community with others.
One of the greatest dangers of motherhood is not just isolation from our spouses, but isolation from other people. We were meant to live in relationships with others who will encourage us, pray for us, listen to us, and even hold us accountable.