by Ruth Schwenk
As moms, we often feel helpless. On any given day, our children will encounter countless things that are completely out of our control. Our strength is limited. We won’t always make the right decisions. And so we pray—because we need to.
God is big. He is wise. His love is infinite. Whatever you or your children are facing today, run to God. Don’t try to carry those burdens on your own!
Father, thank You that You alone are wise, powerful, and loving. Help me lean on You, and remind me that I need to pray. Give me enough humility to know that I am helpless without You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• In what areas of your life do you need to be more dependent on God and less self-sufficient?
• What part of God’s character do you need to be reminded of in order to trust Him as you raise your children?
Two Becoming One
A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
—GENESIS 2:24
The oneness a man and a woman can experience in marriage is a beautiful and profound experience. A husband and wife share their love, hearts, bodies, emotions, dreams, struggles, successes, and more. But oneness never just happens. God gives us this gift of one another. He brings us together, but through His power, we have to work to stay together.
There is nothing more painful than a divided marriage, that heartbreaking sense of separation and distance. We can be divided, or remain “two,” for a lot of reasons. Differences in personality, preferences, self-discipline, hobbies, or interests can drive a wedge between a husband and wife. But God created us to be united in our marriages; He wants us to know the oneness of marriage. He wants the two spouses to become one.
Even the first man and woman God brought together didn’t stay one for long. As sin entered the garden of Eden, sin entered their marriage. It contaminated the beauty of oneness. Their sin and selfishness pushed them away from God and from each other.
A strong and healthy marriage is growing in oneness, and we need to protect, nurture, and fight for that oneness. We can’t just wait and hope for oneness to happen. We need to talk about it and work toward it. Be humble and ask God to grow you and your spouse in the areas of your marriage where you feel most divided.
Father, protect my marriage from being divided. I confess the ways my sin can separate us. Teach me to walk in humility. Show me where we need to be more united. And give us the power to set aside some of the differences that divide us. Lord, empower us to be one. Don’t give the enemy a foothold. Don’t allow him to get between my husband and me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• What is the one area in which you feel most divided in your marriage right now? What is one step you can take to move toward oneness in this area?
• How can you guard the oneness you do have with your spouse?
A Home with Purpose
As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.
—JOSHUA 24:15
What is the purpose of your home? Beyond just living in your home, what are you trying to accomplish there for your family?
In Deuteronomy 6, we learn that the home is to be a central place for God’s ways to be both taught and lived out. God loves the family. And it is His desire to see our home be a place where we are passing on faith to the next generation. He made this clear in Deuteronomy 6:
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (vv. 6–7)
God’s truth, love, and promises are to be in our hearts, but that doesn’t happen simply by living under the same roof. That’s why we are to “impress” God’s truth on our kids. We are to talk about who God is and what He has done when we “sit at home.” We are to be intentionally training and equipping our kids with faith on the way to school, around the dinner table, while we’re sitting on the back deck, or while we’re tucking them in at night. “When you lie down and when you get up,” the Bible says, our homes should be places for God’s presence to dwell and God’s purposes to be fulfilled.
Take some time this week to consider how you can use your home more intentionally for a purpose. Write a mission statement that uniquely fits your family and home. Ask yourself, How can we use our home to love and serve others? Talk with your family about simple and practical ways you as a family can live for God’s glory right where He has you.
Father, thank You for the gift of my family. Teach me to count my days so that I can make my days count. Give me strength and wisdom to live with greater purpose, loving, teaching, and equipping my kids to one day leave my home. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• How would you currently describe the purpose of your home?
• What is one way you can begin living more on purpose as a family?
Not to Us
Not to us, LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.
—PSALM 115:1
We were created to live for Someone bigger than ourselves. God fashioned us so that every part of who we are and what we do reflects who He is. He made us to live for His glory, not our own.
The psalmist wanted us to be sure we don’t miss this truth. It wasn’t enough for him to say it just once; he chose to say it twice: “Not to us, LORD, not to us.” Our jobs. This calling. These circumstances. All of our unique gifts, experiences, and passions. Our current places in life. All of it is “not to us . . . not to us.” But instead, all of it is to God and for God. “To your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.”
In a culture that values the individual and encourages each of us to make a name for ourselves, the gospel calls us to lose ourselves. To die to ourselves and live for God’s greatness. Instead of pursuing our own fame, we are called to faithfulness. God wants each of us, no matter where we are, to faithfully bear witness to who He is and what He has done.
There is no greater joy than honoring and obeying Christ. Sometimes it’s in big ways, but often it’s in small, mundane, and even unnoticed ways. Only when we are living for His fame will we find lasting joy and satisfaction.
God has placed you where you are on purpose. Our faithfulness is the stage on which God performs, working in and through us for His glory. Who are you living for today?
Father, You have created me to live for You. It is Your name and Your name alone that is worthy of praise. Help me honor You and live for Your glory. Teach me to be faithful right where You have me, bearing fruit for Your kingdom. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• How have you seen your own ambition become self-centered?
• What is one thing you can do today to be faithful right where God has you?
Mind Games
The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.
—ROMANS 8:6
Does your mind control you, or do you control your mind? Does worry ever take you captive? What about fear? I know the infamous “what if” takes me hostage from time to time! Our minds are powerful, which is why if we don’t control them, they will control us.
So what can we do to keep our thoughts from running wild? After all, what we think has a lot to do with the people we are becoming. It’s no wonder the Bible has so much to say about our thoughts. For example, we are to have our minds renewed (Romans 12:2). We are to think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable (Philippians 4:8). Now that we are in Christ, we are to put on a new attitude (Ephesians 4:23). But the power to change how we think doesn’t come from us; rather, it comes from God’s Spirit.
God gives us the gift of His Spirit to help us control our wandering minds that too often can war against our hearts. He gives us resources when our thoughts roam and turn into worry, fear, anxiety, or maybe even anger.
In Romans 8:6, we are told to allow God’s Spirit to control our thinking. We are to surrender every thought to God’s power and presence, letti
ng Him remind us of His love, truth, and grace. When we let God’s Spirit control and correct our thinking, we experience life and peace.
So don’t let your thoughts control you. Let God’s Spirit guard your heart and guide your thinking.
Father, I confess that my mind easily strays from Your truth. I know that my thoughts of worry and fear need to be controlled and corrected. I want to surrender my mind to You, allowing Your love, truth, and grace to guard my thoughts. Keep me from doubting and not trusting You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• According to the apostle Paul, what happens when you let your flesh instead of the Holy Spirit guide your thinking?
• What part of your thought life right now most needs to be controlled or corrected by God’s Spirit?
Extend Your Family
To Timothy my true son in the faith: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.
—1 TIMOTHY 1:2
We had just finished eating dinner when the doorbell rang. I had a pretty good guess who it was. Sure enough, as I opened our front door, I saw four kids from our neighborhood eagerly waiting for our children to be done with dinner.
Since we moved in to our new neighborhood, our home has become the gathering place for basketball, capture the flag, football, and everything in between. I could feel the kids’ disappointment when I said, “Our kids can’t come out yet. We’re just finishing up dinner, and we’re getting ready to do our devotions.”
That’s when I felt God nudge me to invite them in. So I did. Before I knew it, we were having not just family devotions; we were having extended-family devotions. I realized that God was using us not only to influence our kids, but to plant seeds of His life-changing truth in the lives of their friends.
God has placed our children in our lives for a purpose, and through them He has placed other kids in our lives too. They might be kids in our neighborhood. Our kids’ friends and classmates. Kids in our church. These children, while not our own biological children, can be children of ours “in the faith,” just as Timothy was to Paul.
Timothy was a younger Christian and a pastor, and Paul described him as “my true son in the faith.” The fact is, God’s family is bigger than our own family by blood.
So prayerfully consider what influence you might have not only on your own kids, but also on the friends who come over to play, join you for dinner, or just hang out at your house. God wants to use your family to extend His.
Lord, Your family is so much bigger than just my own. Help me intentionally connect with my kids’ friends and those friends’ moms. Give me opportunities to influence them by speaking truth, encouraging them, praying for them, and loving them for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• Outside of your own family, which people were most influential in your faith while you were growing up?
• What are one or two things you can do to begin to extend your family?
Disciplining with Love
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. . . . As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.
—PSALM 103:8, 13
It doesn’t take us moms very long to discover that our little bundles of joy are not perfect. As our children grow up and begin making decisions on their own, we quickly see them make choices that are not always right. So how do we respond when our kids disobey? How do we react when we know they have chosen unwisely? Do we discipline in love, or do we discipline by inducing guilt?
If you’re reading this book, you undoubtedly want to lovingly discipline your children when they disobey, teach them what is right and what is wrong, and help them ask the Lord for the ability to do what pleases Him. Essential to disciplining in love is showing our kids that we still cherish them and accept them despite their sin. This is the heart of the gospel.
The danger of disciplining with guilt is that it is often rooted in anger. Angry parents tend to address the children’s behavior and miss their hearts. Our children need to rightly understand the Holy Spirit’s conviction. Sin is serious, and its consequences are real. But disciplining with guilt alone can leave a child living under the weight of condemnation. Why is this so dangerous?
Making our kids feel guilty communicates that acceptance and approval are based on their performance. The good news is good because we are saved not by our performance, but by the performance of Jesus. Because of Christ, the Father looks on us with acceptance and approval. We demonstrate the gospel to our children when we reaffirm our love for them even when they make mistakes (Romans 5:8).
So be careful not to express your love for your children only when they perform well. The next time they fail, be sure to let your kids know how much you still love them.
Father, help me love my kids with compassion, patience, instruction, and gentleness. Let Your love flow through me so that even when my kids misbehave or make mistakes, they know they are loved and accepted. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• In what situations have you been tempted to discipline with guilt?
• What is one change you can make so that you more consistently discipline out of love?
The Surest Foundation
I love you, LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
—PSALM 18:1–2
All of us are building our lives on something. We can build on our careers, a relationship, possessions, physical ability, or appearances. We can even build our lives around something as good as parenting. But what do we do when that foundation we’ve been building on begins to crack?
Maybe a relationship you thought was secure has fallen apart. Maybe motherhood is much more difficult than you imagined. Maybe your health that once seemed invincible is failing. Or your impeccable reputation has been undermined by falsehood. Where do you look when you discover that your foundation wasn’t as strong as you thought it was?
Looking to God, the Rock, is the best alternative. But it’s one thing to say God is a Rock and quite another to say God is my Rock.
To say that God is my Rock is to admit that we are weak. It’s an acknowledgement that apart from Him we aren’t good enough, brave enough, righteous enough, or faithful enough. When God is our Rock, we have a place to run to for refuge. We can lean on Him. We can stand on His love and His truth. He is the only foundation for our lives that is sure footing.
In the New Testament, Jesus echoed these words: “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock” (Matthew 7:24). His life and words are the only foundation that will not give out. When we build our lives on Him, we can be confident that even though everything around us gives way, we are safe and secure in Him.
Father, thank You for being my Rock. You are my refuge. You are my hiding place—the One who fights for me, protects me, and keeps me secure when all else fades away. Draw near to me today as I draw near to You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• What are some things you have built your life on other than God?
• As a parent, what is one way you can build on God as your Rock?
Living for God’s Approval
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
—GALATIANS 1:10
Do you ever worry too much about other people’s opinions? Maybe you wrestle with what other moms think about your parenting. Or maybe your parent or grandparent seems to judge you. Or maybe that inner voice of your past questions if you’ll ever truly measure up as a mom. At times all of us can struggle with living for people’s approval instead of living for God’s approval.
Even the apostle Paul acknowledged that we can teeter-totter between longing for God’s approval and wanting to feel significant in someone else’s eyes. It is tempting
to let people and their opinions matter more than they really should. We can worry too much about what they think, whether they approve of us, or what we need to do for them to accept us.
This is a dangerous trap though, isn’t it?
It is far better to draw our strength from God’s approval—to know that in Christ we are fully accepted, fully loved, and fully secure. We have in Him what no one can take away. When honoring Him with our lives matters most to us, other people’s acceptance matters less. I love how Thomas à Kempis put it: “Do not be too concerned about who is with you or who is against you, but do be careful that God may be with you in everything you do.”2
If you are a people-pleaser, remember your top priority is to please God. At the end of our lives, we won’t stand before others; we’ll stand before God. His assessment, approval, and acceptance will be the only things that matter. Don’t let people be bigger than they really are.
Father, help me find my acceptance and approval in You alone. Teach me to value Your opinion of me more than I value the opinion of others. Guard my heart from wanting to please people more than I want to please You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
• Why is living for people’s approval dangerous to your soul?