‘I suppose he tore it up, did he?’
‘No. It were me who tore it up.’ Seeing the look on Peggy’s face, she explained, ‘I had to, don’t you see? I made my mistake way back, and now there’s no point spending my days dreaming and wishing. What’s done is done, and that’s an end to it.’
‘Are you sure?’ Peggy saw how desperately unhappy Rosie was, and couldn’t help but wonder if there was a way out of it.
‘Oh, Peggy! Of course I’m sure. What’s to be gained by clinging to the past? Adam must have a life of his own now… I’m wed to Doug.’ She pointed to the pram. ‘There’s the lad to consider, and I’m nearly seven months with another. Ask yourself, what chance could there be for a woman like me on my own?’ When Peggy seemed lost for words, she went on in a softer tone, ‘If Adam were to knock on that door right now and ask me to come away with him… which I’m sure would never happen… I would still have to think twice. Doug Selby is a vindictive and possessive man. You can depend on one thing. He would fight for the children and leave no stone unturned to make my life a misery.’ She made an odd little sound that might have been a sob. ‘You can depend on something else too. His mother would be right behind him, spurring him on with her hatred.’
‘I suppose you’re right, gal,’ Peggy was loth to admit it, but she could see the awful truth in Rosie’s words. ‘But I swear if he hits you again…’
Rosie interrupted. ‘Don’t worry,’ she promised in a serious voice, ‘this is the last time he raises a bruise on me.’
‘By! You sound as though you might kill the bugger.’
‘Don’t think it hasn’t crossed my mind.’
A strange silence fell over the little parlour while each young woman considered the implications of what had been said. ‘I’m surprised Adam agreed to be godfather,’ Peggy commented finally.
‘So am I.’
‘Are you glad?’
‘It means my son can be baptised at last.’
‘Oh? And you’re not pleased because you’ll see Adam again?’ Peggy teased with a knowing little smile.
Rosie returned her smile. ‘All right then, yes,’ she admitted. ‘But one look at me and he’ll thank his lucky stars he went when he did.’
‘Whatever do you mean?’ Peggy looked at her. Though Rosie’s face was bruised, she was still the loveliest creature on two legs. ‘The bruise will be cleared up in time.’
‘Maybe. But I wasn’t just talking about that.’ Stretching her arms out, she invited Peggy to take a closer look. ‘I’m big as a barge, my hair needs cutting, and there are bags under my eyes where the baby’s kept me awake night after night.’ It was a hot and humid July afternoon, and she felt completely drained of energy.
‘You’re too hard on yourself, gal!’ Peggy reprimanded. ‘Anyway, you’ve forgotten about my considerable talents. I haven’t been put on the cosmetics counter for no reason, you know.’
‘You’re not dyeing my hair again!’
‘Why not? The dye washed out, didn’t it?’
‘Yes, and so did handfuls of my hair.’
‘All right then, we’ll forget that.’
‘And anything else you’ve got in mind,’ Rosie said good-naturedly, ‘I’m past being a guinea-pig.’
The child woke then. ‘It was early when I fed him, so I expect he’s bawling for his titty.’ In a minute Rosie had collected him and was preparing to feed him.
Lately, Peggy’s career had overtaken her desire for husband and children. But now she watched how tenderly Rosie held the boy, and how lovingly she let him suck the milk from her. There was something uniquely special about the relationship that deeply moved her. Oh, she had seen her own mother feed the young ones, but with Rosie it always seemed different. Peggy wondered if it was because her friend was younger than her, yet here Rosie was with an infant son and another bairn due soon. There was no denying that she was not only beautiful in appearance but that she had a warm and giving soul. ‘You’re so lovely, Rosie,’ Peggy told her, ‘Adam will rue the day he let you go.’
She smiled. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘That’s the trouble with you, my girl!’ Peggy’s hackles were up. ‘You’ve too low an opinion of yourself. You’ll see! I’ll have you looking like a million dollars on Sunday.’
Rosie laughed. ‘That’ll take some doing,’ she said, cuddling the boy on her lap. ‘I’m a wreck.’
As Peggy cast a gaze over her friend, she experienced a fleeting pang of envy. With her rich brown hair, sparkling hazel eyes and those classic features, Rosie was very special. And even though she had been through the mill with Doug and his hateful mother, her strength of mind had carried her above it all with a dignity that was impressive. ‘Trust me,’ she said now. ‘When Adam claps eyes on you, he’ll want you all over again.’
‘I’m not sure that would be a good thing.’
‘If it makes that bloody husband of yours value you more, then it will be a good thing.’ Peggy chuckled. ‘In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if on Sunday we don’t see the cat among the pigeons.’
‘I’ve been thinking that myself.’
And are you worried?’
Rosie’s eyes sparkled with mischief. ‘I was. But now I’m really looking forward to it.’
The two friends laughed and talked, and the hours ticked away. When Peggy was gone, Rosie thought about the christening, and how she had told her friend she was looking forward to it. Now, though, in her solitude, she wondered what Sunday would really bring, and a feeling of mounting trepidation rose within her.
Chapter Nine
Connie was in tears. Yet again she had been battered by her husband, and now here she was looking to Adam for comfort. As he sat her in the chair, Adam warned, ‘If you go back to him, you deserve everything you get.’
Through her tears Connie smiled up at him. ‘Thanks for not saying, “I told you so”.’ It was obvious from her red eyes that she had cried all night. Wincing from the pain in her shoulder, she bit her bottom lip. ‘I think he’s broken it.’
Tenderly roving his fingers along the line of her shoulder, he was satisfied when she showed how she could raise her arm and bend it at the elbow. ‘No. It’s not broken… badly sprained though.’ His mouth drew into a thin angry line. ‘How did it happen?’
As always, Connie defended her lover. ‘It was my fault,’ she insisted. ‘I shouldn’t have put my shoulder against the door.’
‘Ah!’ He realised now. ‘So, he’s thrown you out again?’
Grinning, she admitted sheepishly, ‘Looks like it.’
‘For Christ’s sake, Connie! Why can’t you see him for what he is? The fellow’s no use to you.’ Anger was welling up inside him, forcing him to pace the floor. ‘Everyone knows what a womaniser he is. What! There must have been umpteen young women in and out of these premises over the years, and he’s used them all… he lets them have a room, and for that he takes their rent money and expects to bed them.’
‘He didn’t take any of them into his own house though, did he?’
‘Not that I know. But a man like that always has his own devious reasons for doing what he does.’ Adam hated raising this particular issue, but felt he had to make Connie see what she was letting herself in for. ‘I hope you haven’t forgotten how he brought men to the house and expected you to sleep with them?’
‘I wish I hadn’t told you that.’
‘Yes, well, so do I! Because in spite of everything I say, you still think the sun shines out of his arse!’
‘I know all the arguments, Adam, so you might as well save your breath.’ Very carefully, she flexed her arm muscles. ‘I think you’re right, it isn’t broken.’ She sighed with relief.
‘But it might have been. That bastard deserves a bloody good thrashing!’ Grabbing his coat from the chair-back, he flung it on. ‘Matter of fact, I’m in the mood to see to it.’ In two strides he was at the door.
Scrambling to her feet, Connie stopped him. ‘He’s not there.’
‘No. Honest to God, he’s cleared off. Business, he said. But to tell the truth, I reckon he’s trying to shake me off altogether.’
Realising she was telling the truth, he took off his coat. ‘You’d be better off if he never came back.’
‘No, I wouldn’t.’ Looking pleased with herself, she said, ‘I’m pregnant.’
Adam groaned and shook his head in despair. ‘And I don’t suppose he wants to know?’
‘That’s why he’s took to his heels and buggered off.’ She chuckled. ‘But he won’t get away that easily, because now I’ve got him where I want him. He can’t ignore me, can he, eh?’ For the first time her voice wavered and she seemed unsure of herself. ‘Can he, Adam? Not even he could desert a woman who’s carrying a child.’ Tears welled up in her eyes. Now, when Adam opened his arms to her, she clung to him. ‘I know I’ve been a fool,’ she confessed, ‘but I love him.’
Holding her tight, he reassured her, ‘I know. And if he had any eyes in his head, he would see that. Happen he will. Happen he’ll change his ways.’ He laughed wryly. ‘Even a snake can shed his skin.’
‘I shouldn’t bring my troubles to you, Adam.’
‘Isn’t that what friends are for?’
Moving away, she asked, ‘Can I stay here tonight? I’m not short of money, and I could go to a hotel, but I don’t want to be on my own.’
‘Of course you can, but only for the one night. I’ll be checking out myself tomorrow.’
Her eyes lit up. ‘Does that mean you’ve got Ben Saxon’s house… the one with the yard and everything?’
‘It does.’ A look of immense satisfaction came over his handsome features, but it faded when he thought of Ben. ‘They say one man’s misfortune is another man’s opportunity, but I can’t help feeling sad for Ben.’
‘From what you told me about him, I reckon he would have been pleased to know you had come into good times. I mean, he was the one who gave you the chance of a wagon, and he took a liking to you straight away.’
‘God knows why!’
‘Because you’re a good man, that’s why. And Ben Saxon saw that.’
‘It’s early days yet,’ Adam reminded her. ‘I’ve only just really got going, and the rent on Ben’s place will be crippling at first. Besides, the house is in bad repair and I won’t be able to renovate it for some time yet.’ But even though he had a daunting task ahead of him, Adam couldn’t suppress his excitement. ‘Oh, Connie! At long last I’m seeing it all happen… first the wagon, and then the best round in Liverpool, and now the house and yard! Sometimes I still have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.’
‘You’re not the kind of man to waste time dreaming,’ she said. ‘Whatever you’ve achieved it’s no more than you deserve, because you’ve worked bloody hard for it.’
‘Aye! And I’ll go on working hard until every fireplace in Liverpool burns the coal I fetch to the door.’ Every day brought a new opportunity, and ambition burned so fiercely in him that he worked with a frenzy. A frenzy that was meant to shut Rosie from his thoughts. It didn’t though. And he was a fool to think it ever would.
‘I’ll find somewhere tomorrow,’ she promised. ‘It’s just that I don’t want to be on my own tonight.’
He smiled. ‘Reminds me of that first night I brought you here.’
‘One of the better things in my life.’
‘Where’s your suitcase?’
‘Outside the door.’ He went to get it, and on his return she asked impishly, ‘I don’t suppose…?’
Anticipating her question, he shook his head from side to side, his dark eyes smiling. ‘No. I’ll sleep on the couch as always.’
‘Pig!’
Teasing, he asked, ‘Anyway, I thought you were head over heels in love with the landlord?’
‘That don’t mean to say I can’t snuggle up to someone else when he’s not around.’
‘Bed and breakfast, that’s all I’m providing. Do you still want to stay?’
‘Okay.’
He laughed aloud. ‘I never know what to think of you.’
‘I wouldn’t mind going out for a drink later… cheer me up, it would.’
‘I’ve no objection to that.’ Taking her case to the bedroom, he reminded her sternly, ‘Then it’s you to your bed, and me to mine.’
‘All right. I’m grateful for small mercies.’ Being in Adam’s company always cheered her up. ‘In return, I’ll help you move out tomorrow.’
‘Nothing to move, except myself.’ He saw how downcast she looked. ‘I tell you what, though. You know I’m travelling to Blackburn tomorrow afternoon?’
‘Oh, yes, I’d forgotten. You’re going to a christening. After my bad behaviour am I still allowed to go along?’
‘You don’t deserve to, but I’m sure Rosie and Doug wouldn’t mind.’
She was thrilled. ‘If you’re sure?’
‘I know you’ll be miserable if I leave you behind,’ he said. And so it was settled.
That night, while Adam slept on the settee, Connie came through the room to get a glass of water. On her way back, she glanced at his tousled hair and sleeping face. Women like me don’t fall for decent blokes like you, she thought. It’s a pity, but we always end up with someone as bad as ourselves. As she clambered back into bed, she stared at the door and whispered in a sad voice, ‘I know he’s a bastard, but I’d give anything to keep him.’ She was momentarily filled with shame. ‘Goodnight, Adam. And thanks for being a friend.’
Chapter Ten
The family had gathered in Rosie’s tiny parlour. Ned Selby looked stiff and uncomfortable in a light grey suit with a striped shirt that was done up so tight round his neck he looked choked. ‘I’ll have to go home and change into something looser,’ he complained to his wife. His neck was red raw where he had constantly run his fingers beneath the shirt collar.
‘You’ll do no such thing!’ While she spoke, Martha glared at him through narrowed eyes. ‘I’m not having you in church looking like a rag-bag.’ She was dressed in a sober green two-piece that stretched over her ample figure like a net over a bag of peas; every awful curve and wrinkle was exposed for all to see.
Rosie looked unusually lovely in a flowing dark dress that wonderfully camouflaged the round bulge beneath. Her brown shining hair was left loose to her shoulders, and there was a wonderful radiance about her.
For two days now she and Peggy had worked hard getting the little house ready for visitors, finally this very morning laying out the table with all the food which had been made by their own hands, apart from the scones which Peggy’s mam had eagerly contributed. Only two hours ago, Rosie was bone-tired and it showed. Now, after bathing and resting awhile, and with the event in sight, she appeared to be more relaxed; though in truth her heart was beating tenfold at the thought of seeing Adam again.
Doug was running back and forth to the door, impatient for Adam to arrive. ‘Where the hell is he?’ he raged. ‘If he don’t soon turn up, you can forget the whole bloody thing!’ His remarks were aimed at Rosie.
With a calmness that surprised everyone, she walked across the room to confront him. ‘Whether Adam arrives or not, our son will be baptised,’ she assured him in a quiet voice. ‘No more delays, Doug. I won’t stand for it.’
He laughed aloud, pointing a finger at her as he addressed the other three. ‘Will you listen to that, eh? The little woman’s getting too big for her boots, don’t you think?’
Ned Selby stared hard at his son, and felt ashamed. Martha, however, stepped forward to tell Rosie, ‘It’s the man who decides these things, my girl, and don’t you forget it!’
‘And don’t you forget, we’re not in your parlour now, Mrs Selby.’ Rosie had long ago ceased to be afraid of this woman, though she was always wary of the influence Martha held over Doug.
Looking smart in a navy-blue two-piece and white frilly blouse, Peggy had remained near the pram, occasionally glancing out of the window a
nd watching for the arrival of Adam Roach. Now, she was relieved to see a black vehicle draw up by the kerbside. ‘He’s here!’ she cried, and when Doug rushed out, everyone else turned their eyes towards the door. A strange atmosphere settled over the tiny parlour. Ned Selby mentally recalled his meeting with Adam and wondered whether he had made headway with his ambitious plans; Martha’s thoughts were more vindictive because she remembered how Rosie and Adam had once been sweethearts. Peggy too remembered and was quietly anxious, while Rosie herself was lost in a multitude of emotions, trembling with excitement one minute and filled with dread the next. What would he look like? Would he think she was still attractive? Would he be put off by her swollen stomach and puffy ankles? And what about Doug? She had no doubt he had insisted on having Adam here out of sheer jealousy, and knew he harboured a deal of loathing towards both her and his former friend; her for choosing Adam before him, and Adam for being more handsome, more intelligent, and in Ned Selby’s words, ‘A decent bloke’.
All manner of thoughts raced through her mind as she heard Doug go to greet Adam. Even the sound of Adam’s voice touched her deep inside. ‘Here he is!’ Doug came through the door first, a look of triumph on his face and his odd-coloured eyes lost in a broad smile. ‘The man himself,’ he said, stepping aside to let Adam enter. And all the while Doug kept his sharp gaze on Rosie. She felt his animosity and, not for the first time, was afraid of the awful consequences this day might bring.
Adam came into the room, and at once the little parlour was full of his presence. He was everything Rosie remembered: tall and incredibly handsome, his dark eyes smiling, and his thick mop of black hair spilling over ears and forehead as though it had a life of its own. As he paused, his gaze seeking her out, his broad shoulders seemed to fill the doorway and the parlour was cast into shadow. ‘Good to see you, Rosie,’ he said, and the sound of his voice turned her heart over.
‘I’m glad you’re here,’ she replied truthfully. She knew Doug’s eyes were on her, but couldn’t tear her gaze from Adam. For the two of them, time seemed to stand still. It was almost as though they had gone back to that fateful day when he went into the forces. Nothing had happened between… no long periods when he didn’t write and she was devastated, no Doug, no deceit, no wedding. There was just Adam and her, and a love so powerful it almost breathed.
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